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Five of Hollywood's leading scream queens get together in a creepy mansion and decide to get in the hot tub (as true scream queens would). They talk in the tub and exchange secrets on the do's and don'ts of being a scream queen.Written by
Josh Pasnak <firstname.lastname@example.org>
It's a rare film that brings together so much legendary horror talent—the last time I recall such a gathering of genre greats was in Pete Walker's House of the Long Shadows, only that one didn't have its stars stripping off and hopping into a hot tub together (now that's what I would call horror!).
At less than an hour, the running time for Scream Queen Hot Tub Party is extremely short, just like the nighties the girls wear whilst holding their obligatory Ouija board session; similarly, the plot is thinner than its stars' underwear. Despite this lack of substance, the low, low production values, and some truly groan-worthy dialogue, scream queen fans still get value for money, each lady eagerly showing off their particular horror movie skills while wearing the minimum of clothing.
Brinke Stevens explains the art of the horror movie shower, going through each move in detail (I found things quick and easy to pick up; I'm now a master at soaping up my chest and lifting one leg to hide my naughty bits); Monique Gabrielle does an erotic vampire dance; Michelle Bauer puts Leatherface to shame whirling a chainsaw around like a dervish; Roxanne Kernohan acts goofy and gets attacked by a crappy monster; and, in a special treat for horror fans, the hitherto relatively reserved Kelli Maroney joins in the fun, greasing up her frontage to pump some iron.
'Classic' clips from the girls' finest films pad out the run-time to the full fifty minutes (these can be a bit boring if you've already seen their films in their entirety), after which the lovely ladies grab the soap and help each other to wash those difficult to reach parts of the body.
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