1.9/10
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26 user 4 critic

The Roller Blade Seven (1991)

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In a futuristic society, a sword-wielding roller skater fights evil ninjas, punk roller skaters and is sent on an important rescue mission

Director:

Donald G. Jackson

Writers:

Donald G. Jackson (screenplay), Donald G. Jackson (story) | 1 more credit »
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Scott Shaw ... Hawk
Frank Stallone ... Black Knight
Karen Black ... Tarot
Don Stroud ... Desert Maurader
William Smith ... Pharoah
Joe Estevez ... Saint O'ffender
Rhonda Shear ... Officer Daryl Skates
Mark Richardson ... Chopper
Selina Jayne Selina Jayne ... Spirit Guide
Roger Ellis Roger Ellis ... Stealth
Claudia Scholtz Claudia Scholtz ... Kabuki
Kenneth H. Kim Kenneth H. Kim ... Utility Ninja
Ani Bilesky Ani Bilesky ... Hawk's Bride 1
Liselotte Christiansen Liselotte Christiansen ... Hawk's Bride 2
Sam Mann Sam Mann ... Axe Man
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Storyline

In a futuristic society, a sword-wielding roller skater fights evil ninjas, punk roller skaters and is sent on an important rescue mission

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Genres:

Action | Sci-Fi

Certificate:

See all certifications »
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Details

Official Sites:

Official site

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

6 September 1991 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

Brygada siedmiu mieczy See more »

Company Credits

Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Color:

Color
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Named number 27 of the 100 Best B-Movies of All Time by Paste Magazine in 2014. See more »

Quotes

Hawk: You have sent for me, Father Donaldo?
Reverend Donaldo: Hawk, sister Sparrow has been adapted and taken into our worst nightmare.
Hawk: You mean my sister that has become your sister?
Reverend Donaldo: Yes, our sister sister. You must go now to rescue her!
See more »

Connections

Follows Roller Blade Warriors: Taken by Force (1989) See more »

Soundtracks

People Like Us
Performed by Poor Freddy
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User Reviews

Substitute for angry pills
29 June 2004 | by rowebot1See all my reviews

Much to the annoyance of past housemates, I enjoy watching B-grade films as well as the more commercial ones. So when a friend said he'd lend me his copy of "The Roller Blade Seven" and said how bad it was, I assumed he just didn't understand how good and bad B-grade film could be. To add to this, he bet me I couldn't watch the movie from start to finish, and that no one had been able to do it. Challenge accepted!

Challenge failed! This movie is simply unwatchable. Having read a few of the other reviews of this movie, I know how they're trying to get the message across of just how abysmal this movie is. I don't think it can be done. One reviewer compared it to "Razor Blade Smile". This is also a bad movie, but an Oscar winner in comparison to the Roller Blade 7. No amount of panning or explanations can possibly get the message across of what this movie is actually like.

This movie isn't just bad, it makes you angry. The copy that I watched is lucky to still be in one piece as an angry viewer was stopped mid stomp as he attempted to destroy the video so that no one else would ever have to be subjected to it again.

If the chance comes around to see this movie, you should take it. It will make you appreciate every other movie you've ever watched so much more.

To the people who made this movie, this simple question needs to be asked. Why? If you have some spare time and money, please don't use it to make films like this. It's paramount to mental abuse.


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