Chameleon Street (1989)
William Douglas Street: It amazes me that whites avidly seek after all the accoutrements of black style. You pickle your bodies in gallons of tanning lotion, you broil your pale flesh brown in the tanning spas at great expense and all the while maintaining such a marvelous contempt for black people. You wily Caucasians.
William Douglas Street: I don't know you and I know you don't know me so let's agree to disagree if you want, but as far as I'm concerned, most people have maybe two or three great moments in their entire lives. So get it right. If the moment calls, give me the phone. If the moment drops by tonight, let him in. Make him comfortable. Set him up in the easy chair, give him a cup of coffee 'cause I am definitely into the moment!
William Douglas Street: J'accuse Jacques Brel. J'accuse Jacques Cousteau. J'accuse Jacques Strap. J'accuse Jacuzzi.
Lawyer in restaurant: Fuckin' let go!
[throws a drink in Doug's face]
William Douglas Street: You know, that's a very nasty word. But what's really, pardon the expression, fucked up, is your grammar. "Fuckin' let go," you can't say that. You know, the rules of grammar apply to profanity as well. The word 'fuck' comes from the German root, "fichen," which means to strike. It's a verb and can be used in a variety of ways, both transitive and intransitive. For example, simple aggression: Fuck you! Or simple confusion: What the fuck is goin' on here? And then there's apathy, "Who gives a fuck?" And then there's ignorance, which is very appropriate for you. Defiance: the fuck you can!
Lawyer in restaurant: I don't have to take this shit from you!
William Douglas Street: Authority! Shut the fuck up! You can say it four different ways. SHUT the fuck up, shut THE fuck up, shut the FUCK up, shut the fuck UP! You see, these are all the things you could have said if you weren't so unbelievably coarse and crude and countrified.
[looks at girlfriend]
William Douglas Street: That's alliteration, babe.
[looks back at Lawyer]
William Douglas Street: And remember, peckerwood; profanity is the last refuge of the ignorant, the insensitive, and the illiterate, but if you're gonna use it and I can see you are, at least get the fucking grammar right, moron.
Dr. Hand: Have you thought about what you're going to do on the outside? Let me put it this way - once you get out, will there be any more of these?
William Douglas Street: No, no. I'm through. No more.
Dr. Hand: No more impersonations?
William Douglas Street: No. Enough is enough.
Dr. Hand: I don't believe you.
William Douglas Street: Would I lie?
Dr. Hand: I don't think you're necessarily lying. I don't think you're in control of what you do or say. I think you behave in complimentarity.
William Douglas Street: Okay.
Dr. Hand: Do you know what that means?
Dr. Hand: That means you intuit what another person needs and then you become that need. Like right now. You know my job is to diagnose your neuroses.
William Douglas Street: Neuroses are red, neuroses are blue.
William Douglas Street: This is not a big exposé you're doing. This is all a matter of public record.
William Douglas Street: I began to subtly steer the conversation into her personal life. Of course, the key word is subtle. "Have you ever had an orgasm?"
Paula McGee: What does that have to do with the cover story?
William Douglas Street: Well, you know, the big picture.
Dr. Hardy: I think I'll stop by just to see how a Harvard man works. You know, there's a rumor circulating around here that when a Harvard man makes his first incision he doesn't use a scalpel. He just orders the flesh to part and it parts like Moses and the Red Sea. I'll see you in O.R. in about 45 minutes. You've got a hysterectomy to perform.
William Douglas Street: Why is this nurse breathing so hard? She's freaking me out... Either she can tell I don't know what I'm doing or the sight of blood makes her sick.
William Douglas Street: Dumb broad asked me the other day; "Why didn't you punch out that peckerwood?" I said "Because I was unconscious, you extremely stupid bitch."
William Douglas Street: I had visualized myself performing surgery many times but, of course, there's nothing ever quite like the real thing. I don't know if any of you sitting out there have ever cut a human being open before with two interns, three nurses and the resident physician looking over your shoulder but you can take my word for it, it's an unforgettable experience. People ask me if I regret what happened. Sure, I regret it. 0600. I begin to notice odd details. I like her bellybutton. I've always felt that innies are infinitely superior to outies. But on the other hand her stretch marks gross me out.