Robot Ninja (1989) Poster

(1989)

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1/10
If there was ever a movie to teach you not to rent movies based on the titles...
...here it is.

I rented this in my early teens sometime, actually hoping for a Ninja movie, or better yet, a ROBOT Ninja movie.

The main character and some inventor guy make this costume, and becomes... THE ROBOT NINJA! dun dun dun....

Well, it's a guy in a dumb looking suit. He's not a robot, and he's not a ninja. I'm pretty sure he never even tried to do any sort of "ninja move" either.

The whole thing was really really boring and lame, and I'm sure that if I watched it again now I'd laugh my ass off at how horrible this thing is. At the time I wanted a damn ninja movie, and this thing just plain sucked.

Could have used more ninjas, robots, and robot ninjas.
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10/10
Robots? Ninjas? Anything better?
demonic_shepherd30 October 2002
My friend and I rented this movie because it has two great words combined into one crappy movie. Robot Ninja! He got sick of women kickin his butt so he donned a spandex "tank armored" suit and became the robot ninja. It sucked so much it was funny. I recommend it to fans of G.I. Bro and Frogs! Well that's it... time to write my paper on this magnificent piece of crap probably made in someone's closet or laundry room.
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This movie's way too gross! I revile it!
nukie21 October 1998
I bought this movie for six dollars at this place that smelled like green beans. I thought it'd be cool, because I adore both robots AND ninjas. I feel I enjoy them equally. Both are enriching, and make for splendid film components, be it sci-fi, drama, or what have you. May I state here that this horrid film contains neither a robot nor a ninja. It does not even feature a robot that happens to be a ninja, or vice-versa, as the title would seem to imply. Rather, it is about a comic-book artist who is angry that there is crime, and decides to dress up like a comic book guy and mutilate people in disgustingly low-budget ways. The lead character is by far the least likable character in the movie, which says a lot since many of the other characters are in fact rapists. None of the violence is at all realistic, or at least I hope it doesn't look that gross when you poke people's eyes out. Linnea Quigley and Burt Ward are both in it, for whatever reason. They must be astonishingly poverty-stricken. Anyway, you won't like this, and I'm sorry I purchased it. You should probably destroy any copies you are able to get your hands on. Please do so now.
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10/10
Great Movie
The Creeper3 January 2003
This is a great movie. Packed with suspense, entertainment, and lots of gore. This movie is very hard to find, so if you see it, I highly recommend you take advantage of your luck and get it. Recommended to anyone who likes Horror/action. Also, check out the director's debut film "The Dead Next Door".

10 out of 10

Fans of movies like this should Check out Puppet Master, Skinned Alive, Sleep Away Camp, Slumber Party Massacre, and other Full Moon Pictures flicks. For other recommendations, check out the other comments I have sent in by clicking on my name above this comment section.
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10/10
If you love bad movies!
demonic_shepherd23 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I used to have a hobby of watching very very bad movies, and let me tell ya: this is pure gold! Spoiler: His goal is to kill the rapists, but eventually he cant even handle the girl gangs. It's great! Spandex suit is supposed to provide "tank like armor!" If you like movies like this, be sure to check out "Brain Damage," and "GI Bro"

Robot Ninja does have terrible writing and acting. And no, there was no bidget to make this movie, but that is part of the charm. It is part of the terrible terrible charm. The scientist, Dr. Goodnight runs a lab out of his basement... for some reason. Again- if you love terrible movies with terrible acting and just like to make fun of them all night, then this is definitely one for you!
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A steaming pile of crap, yet highly amusing.
thisguyjones17 July 2001
Make no mistake, this is a very bad movie. It is a rare gem that is so bad it will leave you aching with laughter. Its hard to imagine what the makers were thinking as they made it. I wonder what they thought once they saw the finished product. Did they laugh as much as I? Will you?
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1/10
Absolutely the worst film, ever.. 0/10 if i could
Ulysses18624 September 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Robot Ninja is without any question the absolute worst film I have ever seen. Watching this film was an ordeal; it was entirely depressing and filled me with indescribable melancholy. Every aspect of this film is horrible, every last one. The fact that it's a longer movie only magnifies the horrors of this film. Now I am an individual that has seen countless bad films, and in most cases I can derive great amusement from seeing how awful movies can be.. I could find absolutely nothing amusing about this film, every second I watched it was agonizing and depressing. Foremost, there is nary a robot or a ninja in this film. The film itself is of remarkable poor quality. It could be the lowest budget film ever. The protagonist Leonard Miller is a degenerate comic book artist, who is the creator of the 'Robot ninja' comic, he is pasty, has bad hair, and sports a unfortunate wardrobe. After a two bit gang begins to terrorize the vicinity Leonard decides to become his character. His older pal, a Dr. Goodknight, who seems to be the local inventor/scientist agrees to make Leonard the 'robot ninja' suit, to match the image of the comic book character. This was one very low point. Goodnight indicates that making the suit will be costly. Leonard says something to the effect that money is not an issue and throws some cash down on the work bench.. If one were to look at the money it looks like $17 at the most. After Leonard's suit is done, complete with wrist-mounted blades and a mask which disguises his voice; he proceeds to drive around town in his mid 80's beat up camero looking for a chance to become a vigilante. The main problem with Leonard becoming a vigilante is that he is neither a ninja nor a robot, despite his warped perspective of himself. After a few skirmishes with the two-bit gang he gets injured, and starts popping amphetamines to stay awake and fight. The gang consists of 5 or less people, lead by a 5'3" woman.. they all sport red bandannas, drive around in a beat up cargo van, carry virtually no weapons and posses no special abilities or assets. This is the kind of gang that two traffic cops could easily handle.. This gang would have been easily owned by either the jazz-dancing jets or sharks. They are, unfortunately more then the hapless Leonard can deal with. During the second skirmish with the gang there is some violence and a couple of gang members are killed, though the action and gore are lackluster at best. Terribly poor fight choreography, extremely low budget gore effects, which are few and far between, and no real purpose kill any enjoyment that could be found otherwise in the action. Though killing a gang member or two Leonard is seriously injured from the fight. He flees for more amphetamine and to nurse his wounds. He sustained a very fake looking wound to his arm, and in his zeal to actually become a 'robot ninja' he starts forcing a metal plate and a glass and rubber tube into the wound, as if to repair himself. Now with a fresh head of amphetamine and some foreign objects forced into his gaping arm wound he readies himself for the final showdown with the 5'3" female leader of the gang. By this time the cops are already after him due to the forgettable ruckus his battle with the gang has caused, so there is no turning back for Leonard. After the battle he manages to defeat the 5'3" female gang leader, though he is seriously wounded and the cops are but a few minutes away.. he crawls away knowing he has defeated some quasi-threatening gang and shoots himself in the head. Pretty much everyone dies at or near the end.. Nothing is gained from it.. This is one of few movies I would not recommend to anyone. It traumatized me. It's really that bad. It's not funny, it's not amusing, and it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Anyone else who reviewed this film and recommended it is trying to play the cruelest joke. May god have mercy on their souls. If ever there was a film that would kill the individual who viewed it 7 days later, this is it. It's dreadful, vile, and reprehensible, and it might push someone who is already depressed over the edge. Life is good, it's not worth it. All have been warned; never ever watch this film, as a film could not possibly get any worse then Robot Ninja.
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10/10
Lots of gore and lots of fun!
gorevision10 March 2000
Robot Ninja is a masterpiece from director Bookwalter(Dead next door).Now he said that he did not like this movie but its the best movie he ever made. Lots of gore and action with a small budget. It also have special appearances by Burt Ward and Linnea Quigley. Watch it or you will be killed by the robot ninja!! 10/10
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1/10
One step up from a snuff film, basically.
Delerium30 August 1999
A friend rented this movie a few years ago are a party, and a few people ran to the bathroom to puke their guts out. This movie is basically low-budget violence for the sake of low-budget violence, done in an incredibly disturbing and violent way. Unlike other movies that disturb you and are thought-provoking, this just leaves you feeling cheap, dirty, and sick to your stomach. No good story, terrible acting, obviously no budget. This could have not even looked good on paper. If you take pleasure in seeing a man get his forearm stabbed repeatedly by a girl gang, only to have him stick a metal plate into the wound, this is the movie for you.
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1/10
About as fun as a root canal.
greenflickerstick12 August 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Remember those really cheesy, but fun ninja flicks from the eighties? Like Nine Deaths of the Ninja and American Ninja. You know, the ones with all those short guys in pajamas running around and hacking away at everything that moved with a ginsu knife? Remember how much fun it was to see the "Head Ninja" duke it out with the hero? OK, now can you remember all those futuristic robot and android films? You know, like Blade Runner, Android, and Cyborg? OK, now lets pretend that you combined them...How cool would that be?!?! OK, now lets pretend that you did all that, but you had only one guy in the film playing as the robot and the ninja-Like you rolled the two of them together to make one hero. Sound cool? I think it sounds hellacool! So naturally when I saw ROBOT NINJA in the local video store as a fifty cent rental, I jumped at the chance to rent it. I was a little perplexed by all the dust on the top of the case, but I took it home immediately. Well, the film case has this big ad on it that says "Special appearance by Burt Ward". Now if you have no clue who Burt Ward is, he played Robin in the Batman series from the sixties. I thought that was a little weird that a film of this (seemingly) high caliber would have a better tag line than "Hey we got the BOY WONDER to pop in for a shooting day". OK, the film opened up with someone watching a scene from the TV show called "Robot Ninja". Well, long story short: Some guy dons the Robot Ninja costume and decides to become a vigilante. So we now have 2 very large and obvious problems 15 minutes into the film. 1)He's not a robot. 2) He's not a ninja either. Hmmmm? Well, even though I felt lied to and had my dreams smashed so early on, I continued to watch this stinker anyway. Well, after a lot of blood, bad lighting, some "not-so" special effects, hokey dialogue like "Hold it you thugs" (gimme a break here!) and no plot to speak of-I felt ill! I had just spent my hard earned 50 cents on something that you couldn't pay me to sit through again. I couldn't believe that such a lousey film could made anywhere in the world without the lost Arc of the Covenant opening up and melting off the faces of the entire cast! Do yourself a favor and avoid this film at all costs. In fact, I recommend that we dig a hole and put this rubbish in the nearest field to fertilize the corn. Actually wait...I think I'd feel bad for the corn.
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1/10
Not even so bad it's good
EvanEast16 November 2003
Let's just make this clear: you might think a movie like Robot Ninja would be one of those transcendent B-movies that's good despite its non-existent budget, or that, failing that, it would be so bad and goofy that it would end up being hysterically funny and therefore a good time to be had by all.

But if you thought that, you'd be wrong. Dead wrong. Because watching the entirety of Robot Ninja will annihilate your very soul. I mean, I like camp as much as the next guy, but what I DON'T like is an hour and a half of pure torture, and there's simply no other way to describe this tenth circle of Hell. The only, only way I would ever recommend it is if you need to build up your tolerance for the worst movies of all time, so that you might be able to watch, say, Voodoo Academy without dying of lack-of-ambition poisoning, or Teenage Barbarians without succumbing to a fatal case of cultural shame. Other than that, stay far, far away.

In conclusion, Robot Ninja is the devil.
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1/10
Bad, even by Bookwalter's standards
Leofwine_draca20 November 2017
Warning: Spoilers
In the career of indie cult director J.R. Bookwalter, ROBOT NINJA stands out purely for its own ineptitude. It's an entirely cheap, ridiculous little affair about a comic book writer who creates the titular character and has to embody him to fight crime. The story's not bad per se, but the execution is appallingly cheap, the acting quite rubbish, and the effects non-existent. A "film" which could barely be described as such, in fact.
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2/10
Terrible
thedarkestshadow-3278514 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is just awful. It makes no sense. Twice the cop lets both the thugs and the vigilante get away without even getting license plates. In the third encounter the thugs nearly kill the "ninja" and then follow him. Instead of just killing him they decide to let him get rested up and then say they want to catch him without the suit. If they nearly kill him while he's in the suit why would they care? The suit itself is just awful. What is the mask made from? Aluminum? The thug dents the crap out of it just by kicking it a few times.
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1/10
Wow. Amazing and Stupendous Garbage.
quexos5 August 2000
Don't get me wrong, I rented because it looked so bad... call me a masochist. I'll never have that hour and a half back. But I look at it as a positive experience, now I know what NOT to do if I ever make a movie. I especially love when he repairs his arm with the junk on the table, and how the lead bad girl rapes the guy. How does a woman rape a man? Oh well. Like I said, it was fun, but only because it was so bad it was good. Don't rent it expecting anything other than a good laugh at these poor souls' expense.
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1/10
Ug
maxp0werx15 March 2004
Even as a fan of really, really bad movies, this is too much. The Robot Ninja is neither a robot or a ninja. There's a lame Mike Meyers joke in there somewhere.

The movie couldn't have cost more than like $20, and honestly, my friend and some kids he knew in high school came up with a vastly superior film over the course of a summer in rural Massachusetts.Regardless, its worse than <i> Matrix Revolutions</i> but not so bad as <i> House of the Dead</i>.

1.5 out of 10.372 on the secret Calculando Calrissian scale. (That isn't good)
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1/10
Hardly watchable
Omaha18421 May 2004
Me and my brother rented this when we were about 10 and 11. You know ninja's were cool back in the mid 90's. Even back then we decided that this was garbage. Don't eva eva eva buy or rent this. It is a disgrace to the ninja movie era. Ninja turtles, surf ninja's, those were awesome they just went over board here I guess. The way that the ninja fights in this is horrible what was the guy thinking an artist to a crimefighter. Place this film in a capsule and fire it into the sun with your milli vanillie cd's. Plain and simple don't waste your money. If you really want to see ninja's in action, get a hold of ninja vs. shaolin or revenge of the ninja. Just don't give up hope for martial arts flicks.
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