Robot Ninja is without any question the absolute worst film I have ever seen. Watching this film was an ordeal; it was entirely depressing and filled me with indescribable melancholy. Every aspect of this film is horrible, every last one. The fact that it's a longer movie only magnifies the horrors of this film. Now I am an individual that has seen countless bad films, and in most cases I can derive great amusement from seeing how awful movies can be.. I could find absolutely nothing amusing about this film, every second I watched it was agonizing and depressing. Foremost, there is nary a robot or a ninja in this film. The film itself is of remarkable poor quality. It could be the lowest budget film ever. The protagonist Leonard Miller is a degenerate comic book artist, who is the creator of the 'Robot ninja' comic, he is pasty, has bad hair, and sports a unfortunate wardrobe. After a two bit gang begins to terrorize the vicinity Leonard decides to become his character. His older pal, a Dr. Goodknight, who seems to be the local inventor/scientist agrees to make Leonard the 'robot ninja' suit, to match the image of the comic book character. This was one very low point. Goodnight indicates that making the suit will be costly. Leonard says something to the effect that money is not an issue and throws some cash down on the work bench.. If one were to look at the money it looks like $17 at the most. After Leonard's suit is done, complete with wrist-mounted blades and a mask which disguises his voice; he proceeds to drive around town in his mid 80's beat up camero looking for a chance to become a vigilante. The main problem with Leonard becoming a vigilante is that he is neither a ninja nor a robot, despite his warped perspective of himself. After a few skirmishes with the two-bit gang he gets injured, and starts popping amphetamines to stay awake and fight. The gang consists of 5 or less people, lead by a 5'3" woman.. they all sport red bandannas, drive around in a beat up cargo van, carry virtually no weapons and posses no special abilities or assets. This is the kind of gang that two traffic cops could easily handle.. This gang would have been easily owned by either the jazz-dancing jets or sharks. They are, unfortunately more then the hapless Leonard can deal with. During the second skirmish with the gang there is some violence and a couple of gang members are killed, though the action and gore are lackluster at best. Terribly poor fight choreography, extremely low budget gore effects, which are few and far between, and no real purpose kill any enjoyment that could be found otherwise in the action. Though killing a gang member or two Leonard is seriously injured from the fight. He flees for more amphetamine and to nurse his wounds. He sustained a very fake looking wound to his arm, and in his zeal to actually become a 'robot ninja' he starts forcing a metal plate and a glass and rubber tube into the wound, as if to repair himself. Now with a fresh head of amphetamine and some foreign objects forced into his gaping arm wound he readies himself for the final showdown with the 5'3" female leader of the gang. By this time the cops are already after him due to the forgettable ruckus his battle with the gang has caused, so there is no turning back for Leonard. After the battle he manages to defeat the 5'3" female gang leader, though he is seriously wounded and the cops are but a few minutes away.. he crawls away knowing he has defeated some quasi-threatening gang and shoots himself in the head. Pretty much everyone dies at or near the end.. Nothing is gained from it.. This is one of few movies I would not recommend to anyone. It traumatized me. It's really that bad. It's not funny, it's not amusing, and it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Anyone else who reviewed this film and recommended it is trying to play the cruelest joke. May god have mercy on their souls. If ever there was a film that would kill the individual who viewed it 7 days later, this is it. It's dreadful, vile, and reprehensible, and it might push someone who is already depressed over the edge. Life is good, it's not worth it. All have been warned; never ever watch this film, as a film could not possibly get any worse then Robot Ninja.
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