At a movie theater's restroom, Elaine, realizing she doesn't have any toilet paper left, asks the woman in the next stall (Jami Gertz) if she has any toilet paper to spare, but the woman refuses, claiming that she "can't spare a square". Elaine pleads with the woman, but she leaves, ignoring Elaine. The woman returns to her seat, and is revealed as Jerry's girlfriend, Jane. Elaine is shown returning to her seat, with her new boyfriend Tony (played by Dan Cortese). The two women tell their dates about what had just happened. At Jerry's apartment, Kramer walks in, ...
En route to a dinner party, Jerry and Elaine stop off at a bakery and get held up when the bakery runs out of what they want to purchase. Meanwhile, George and Kramer, en route to said dinner party, stop off at a liquor store to buy a bottle of wine and have a hard time picking one out.
George starts dating a woman who (told by Jerry) thinks George is a marine biologist. Elaine's electronic organizer injures a person after being launched from a limo by a Russian novelist. Kramer decides to golf on the beach.
While shopping for a new suit for a job interview, George and the others stumble upon a mannequin which scarily resembles Elaine. Meanwhile Jerry tries to figure out why his girlfriend won't try his apple pie at Monks.
Jerry gets a permanent discount at his local dry cleaners after returning a locket he found in a jacket pocket. His new girlfriend Meryl also claims the discount claiming to be Jerry's wife. It all gets out of hand when Jerry's Uncle Leo hears he's married. Elaine thinks an airline pilot who goes to the same health club but her interest wanes quickly when he wipes the top of her water bottle before drinking from it. George is in trouble when the pilot sees him urinating in the shower at the same club. Kramer has had trouble sleeping at home but not, unfortunately at ...
George dates a woman who has a son. She invites him to her son's birthday party. While at the party, a fire breaks out in the kitchen. George screams "FIRE!!!" and knocks down the kids and the old lady as he cowardly tries to make his escape. The clown (not Bozo) puts out the fire with his big shoe. Meanwhile, over at Pendant Publishing, Elaine learns that she's up for a very nice promotion. But her main competition, Toby, is working with Kramer on his coffee table book. The three head over to the comedy club where Jerry is doing an important set where a writer from ...
George decides to turn his life around by doing the exact opposite of what he would usually do. Elaine is having a lot of bad luck. Jerry keeps breaking even. Kramer gets the coffee table book published.
Kramer thinks that a simple penalty stroke may have driven his golf partner, Steve Gennison, to murder a dry cleaner. Jerry is stunned to learn that his girlfriend not only went out with, but was dumped by Newman. George thinks Elaine gave his girlfriend an incorrect thank you when it was actually George who paid for Elaine's lunch. Elaine flirts with a stationery store employee and thinks that she may have sent him the wrong message.
Kramer finds Jerry's old birthday checks from his grandmother and insists he deposits them, which puts Nana in unexpected debt. Elaine accidentally tells the high talker a secret. Mr Pitt eats a Snickers bar with utensils.
George's telephone line crosses with that of a woman named Donna Chang, and everyone seeks her advice when she convinces them that she's Chinese. Jerry winds up dating her. Things get worse when Frank and Estelle announce a separation. Jerry and Elaine can't seem to figure out why Frank Costanza is having mysterious business dealings with a man in a cape.
Jerry's new couch is completely ruined when Elaine upsets a man with a bladder condition. Kramer decides to start up his own new pizza business. George joins a book club but instead of reading the book he watches the movie.
George buys a convertible he thinks was once owned by Jon Voight. Kramer tries to save a small shoe-repair business. Elaine answers a radio quiz, enabling Mr. Pitt to participate in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Meanwhile, Jerry tries to solve the mystery of whether or not he's invited to Tim Whatley's annual Pre-Thanksgiving party.