Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Poster

(1989)

Andrew McCarthy: Larry Wilson

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Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Catherine Mary Stewart in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Terry Kiser in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Terry Kiser in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Terry Kiser in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, Terry Kiser, and Catherine Mary Stewart in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Catherine Mary Stewart in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Terry Kiser in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Terry Kiser in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Terry Kiser in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Catherine Mary Stewart in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Terry Kiser in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, and Terry Kiser in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman in Weekend at Bernie's (1989) 13 more photos

Quotes 

  • Larry Wilson : What kind of a host invites you to his house for the weekend and dies on you?

  • Mugger : Give me all your money and your wallets.

    Larry Wilson : Aw, get your ass outta here, it's too hot!

  • Larry Wilson : How do you like that? The guy gets laid more times dead than I do alive.

  • Richard Parker : This is the note. Listen. "Richard Parker and I stole this money from the company to pay for my sex-change operation."

    Larry Wilson : What?

    Richard Parker : That's what it says.

    Larry Wilson : "Now he tells me he loves someone else. I can't live with that, and niether will he." It's got my name written on it!

    Richard Parker : Oh God.

    Larry Wilson : Son of a bitch. I mean, it's not bad enough that he's trying to kill me. Now he's trying to turn me into a drag queen. Why couldn't he have said you were going to have the operation?

    Richard Parker : It doesn't matter, Larry, it doesn't matter.

    Larry Wilson : Oh, yes it does matter, Richard, it does matter. I have a reputation to protect here!

    Richard Parker : For Christ's sake, Larry! No one is going to have a sex-change operation, huh?

    Larry Wilson : Oh yeah. I've gotta call the cops!

  • Larry Wilson : Why are you shooting us? We're just friends of Bernie's.

    Paulie, Vito's Hit Man : I hate... Bernie's friends!

    [keeps shooting] 

  • Larry Wilson : [on the rooftop of Larry's father's apartment]  You think it's safe to go in the water?

    Richard Parker : Nah, better not. You just ate. You might get cramps.

    Larry Wilson : I'll risk it.

  • Larry Wilson : [Paulie enters the beach house and shoots Bernie]  Company...

    Richard Parker : I didn't see anything. I was looking at my watch.

    Larry Wilson : [closes eyes and waves hands]  I'm blind!

    [Paulie, unconvinced, points his gun at Richard and Larry. Gwen gasps as Paulie pulls the trigger, but the chamber is empty] 

    Larry Wilson : It's empty.

    Paulie, Vito's Hit Man : That's right.

    [opens up jacket, revealing another gun] 

    Paulie, Vito's Hit Man : But this ain't!

  • Larry Wilson : [at Bernie's beach house]  Now all of this could be yours if you set your goals and work hard.

    Richard Parker : My old man worked hard. All they did was give him more work. Ah!

    Tawny : [appears in a bikini]  Bernie?

    [to Larry & Richard] 

    Tawny : Hi! Is Bernie around?

    Larry Wilson : Hello. No, we haven't seen him, but we just got here. We're gonna be here all weekend. We're house-guests.

    Tawny : [grabs the keys to Bernie's boat]  Well, tell him Tawny borrowed his boat to go skiing.

    Larry Wilson : Hi, Tawny. I'm horny.

    Tawny : Oh, Hi. Look, don't forget to tell Bernie, okay?

    Richard Parker : Okay.

    Richard Parker : Uh, Tawny, you wouldn't happen to know where Bernie is, would ya?

    Tawny : Oh, he's probably making the rounds. Everybody parties from house to house, but they always end up here sooner or later. Bye!

    [Tawny runs off] 

    Larry Wilson : And you didn't wanna come.

    Richard Parker : I was wrong. I admit it, I was wrong.

  • Tawny : [Richard and Larry are in Bernie's living room discussing what they should do about the body. A buxomy blonde enters from the patio wearing a thong bikini and sunglasses]  Hi, guys! I'm Tawny! Bernie said I could borrow his boat for the day; I've come to get the keys.

    Larry Wilson : Hi Tawny! I'm horny!

  • Gwen Saunders : Richard, just tell me what is going on!

    Larry Wilson : [comes down the stairs, dragging Bernie's body by the leg]  Look honey, Bernie's dead, they guys that killed 'em are now after us, can we hide out at your place or what?

    [throws down Bernie's leg as he reaches the bottom of the staircase] 

    Larry Wilson : .

    Gwen Saunders : [eyes as big as golf balls] 

    Larry Wilson : [sees Gwen's horrified expression, holds up Bernie's head]  It's just Bernie!

    [bangs Bernie's head against the stair support railing] 

    Gwen Saunders : [covers her mouth quietly screaming in a high pitched squeal]  Aaaaah! Aaaah!

    Richard Parker : Gwen, we didn't do this to him!

    [Gwen, mouth still covered, begins looking wildly back and forth between Richard and Larry, slowly shaking her head and backing away] 

    Richard Parker : Look at us! Do we look like the kind of people who could kill someone?

    Larry Wilson : [handing Gwen a drink]  Come on, honey, sit down, take a load off, have a drink, you'll be fine!

    Richard Parker : Let me rephrase that! Do *I* look like the kind of person that could kill someone?

  • Larry Wilson : I have an idea!

    Richard Parker : [shouting]  What? What is it?

    Larry Wilson : Lomax told whoever he was talking to not to kill us while he's around.

    Richard Parker : Yes, but Bernie's dead. He's not around anymore.

    Larry Wilson : Yeah. I know that. You know that. Nobody else knows that.

  • Larry Wilson : God, that guy; beautiful apartment, house at the beach, babes, boat, car. Do you know how much it costs to park a car in Manhattan every month? More than my rent.

    Richard Parker : Well, I mean it's only fair. His car is a bit bigger than your apartment.

  • Larry Wilson : And... I lose again.

    Richard Parker : I won. Lar, I have a date.

    Larry Wilson : You're kidding?

    Richard Parker : No. Gwen and I, Thursday night, 8:00pm, dinner!

    Larry Wilson : Fabulous!

    [Larry high-fives Richard] 

    Richard Parker : It was the clumsy approach. It worked.

    Larry Wilson : You're gonna wanna borrow my apartment.

    Richard Parker : Oh no, but thank you. That's sweet, but I can't do that to you. Thank you.

    Larry Wilson : Rich, if she finds out you live with your folks, you're gonna embarrass yourself.

    Richard Parker : Yeah. Yeah, I know. But I can't do that to you, Larry.

    Larry Wilson : It's the coackroaches isn't it?

    Richard Parker : Well...

    Larry Wilson : They scatter when the light goes on.

  • Larry Wilson : [after Bernie's body flies over the balcony, looking like a high diver]  I give it an 8.3!

  • Larry Wilson : "A little brown-nosing, a little ass-kissing, work our way up that corporate ladder?" WHY can't you be a lazy shit like I am?

  • Larry Wilson : [as Richard and Larry are trying to get away in Bernie's boat, Bernie's body falls into the water]  Man overboard!

  • Richard Parker : Paddling... In the Atlantic Ocean... On a dead body. This is now the perfect weekend. It started when I almost broke my leg jumping on a moving ferry. I get to this beautiful beach and my host... Sorry! He's dead! I fell down a lighthouse. I had a corpse wash up next to me on the shore. I then I find out that my dead boss? He's not only a thief; he wants to kill me! I almost drown. The girl of my dreams now thinks I'm a raving lunatic. And now we're going back to the house of death.

    Larry Wilson : Great weekend, huh?

    Richard Parker : Great weekend!

  • Richard Parker : Well, you're a half hour late.

    Larry Wilson : Only half hour? I'm usually forty-five minutes late. I'm early today.

  • Larry Wilson : [holds up Bernie's head]  It's just Bernie!

  • Larry Wilson : Why don't we just pretend he didn't die? Just for a bit!

  • Security Officer : Hot enough for ya, Larry?

    Larry Wilson : No, Harris! Why don't you turn up the heat?

    Security Officer : OK, I'll tell the engineer.

  • Larry Wilson : We could call the cops, Richard, but you know where we'd be spending our weekend. In some... goddamned hot police station answering questions we don't know the answers to.

  • Richard Parker : Bernie is waiting for us!

    Larry Wilson : Look, Bernie isn't going anywhere!

  • Larry Wilson : This is good for me.

  • Larry Wilson : [at the office on a hot Sunday]  Let's go to the beach.

    Richard Parker : No.

    Larry Wilson : We're gonna be here our whole lives.

    Richard Parker : Yeah, I'm afraid so.

    Larry Wilson : [grabs Richard's papers]  I'm going to the beach.

    Richard Parker : What are you doing-What are you doing? Gimme those papers.

    Larry Wilson : These papers are going to the beach!

    Richard Parker : We are not going to the beach.

    Larry Wilson : Want these? They're coming to the beach.

    Richard Parker : [mumbles]  Yes, we're going to the beach.

    Larry Wilson : Wilson at the five! Oh, that was beautiful! Replay!

    [Richard chases Larry, who runs for the elevator] 

    Richard Parker : [yells]  Gimme those papers!

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