Turner & Hooch (1989)
Tom Hanks: Det. Scott Turner
Photos
Quotes
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Scott Turner : These are the simple rules. No barking, now growling, you will not lift your leg to anything in this house. This is not your room. No slobbering, no chewing, you will wear a flea collar. This is not your room. No begging for food, no sniffing of crotches, and you will not drink from my toilet. This is not your room.
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[to Hooch]
Scott Turner : Don't eat the car! Not the car! Oh, what am I yelling at you for? You're a dog!
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Emily Carson : Well, it's a nice night, and I have to walk Camille. Do you want to take a walk with me?
Scott Turner : No. No. Well, you see, I'm starting to like you, and if we're going to walk I'm just going to like you even more, and then one day we might even end up in love and everything will go on fine for a while, but-but then one day *bang* you're gonna call me a selfish compulsive bastard! You're gonna pull your hair, you're gonna scream and you're gonna say you never want to see me again because I drive you crazy, and I'm left shattered. Now, who needs that? Good night!"
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Scott Turner : [Hooch won't stop barking] Alright, what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to stand out on the porch all night long?
Neighbor : Give him a Valium, Turner! Take one yourself!
Scott Turner : [Yells] Hey, shut up! I'm a policeman! Gu - Want your car towed?
[Hooch goes inside the house, knocking the door shut. It's locked]
Scott Turner : OH NO! AAH! Ah, you stupid dog! AH, YA STUPID DOG!
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Scott Turner : [Hooch won't stop barking at night; shouting] What? What? What is it? What? What? If you're hungry, finish the hamburgers! Eat the buns! Eat the buns! You're not thirsty, you're not touching the water, the orange juice, cranapple - what am I supposed to do? Make you a Margarita? SHUT UP! GOD, SHUT UP! This has been going on for two and a half hours! BE QUIET!
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Amos Reed : Let him go, Hooch! I'm sorry, Scott. I don't have the hand-strength I used to. You're OK, aren't you?
Scott Turner : Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I was looking forward to a nice quiet cup of coffee, BUT NOW I'M AWAKE!
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[Hooch has dragged Scott through the pet door. Scott is now hanging upside down]
Emily Carson : What are you doing to this dog?
Scott Turner : Just taking him for a walk!
Emily Carson : He's bleeding. My God! How long has he's been bleeding?
Scott Turner : Not long enough.
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Scott Turner : Here's a muffin for Hooch. I got a muffin for Hooch. Here's a muffin for Hooch. I got a muffin for Hooch. Here's a muffin for Hooch. I brought a muffin for Hooch! Here's a muffin Hooch... I GOT A MUFFIN FOR HOOCH!
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David Sutton : Wait a minute. Wait a minute. There's something not right here. You got that look in your eye.
Scott Turner : I don't know what you're talking about.
David Sutton : Oh, yes you do.
[laughs]
David Sutton : You humped the vet.
Scott Turner : Oh, "humped the vet." Humped the--You have a lot of class. I happened to have a religious experience with the future Mrs. Scott Turner who happens to--Yes. She holds a doctorate in veterinary medicine.
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Scott Turner : $97.51? Is that pesos? This is for a dog. $97.51? I'm not gonna eat this stuff. Did I buy a smoked salmon - $97.51?
[holding toy]
Scott Turner : How much if I take this back? I'd like to talk to Kevin, could you call him please? KEVIN!
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[Turner commandeers a Nissan, driven by a young man borrowing it from his mother, to chase after Zack Gregory's Cadillac, but it gets away]
Scott Turner : [to the Nissan driver] What's the matter with your mom? She can't get a car with some muscle?
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Scott Turner : [Last lines] Alright, I'm a little tired of this but let's go through it again. No barking. No growling. No eating of the house plants. No dogs allowed on the second floor at all. No playing of my records! No sniffing of crotches. No drinking from the toilet. You will not beg for food. No ball playing in the house. No chewing or slobbering up my shoes! You will not hide from me!
[looks in the closet and sees a puppy that exactly looks and acts like Hooch]
Scott Turner : This is not your room.
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Scott Turner : Are you aware of your drooling problem? I mean, it looks like you swallowed a tennis shoe and you've got the laces hanging out.
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Motel Clerk : If you ain't got a warrant, get lost.
Scott Turner : [unfolds picture of Zack Gregory] You know him?
Motel Clerk : Never seen him.
Scott Turner : Oh, come on. Now, I don't have a lot of experience being one of these intimidating policemen. I've never had to threaten anybody.
Motel Clerk : You're breaking my heart.
Scott Turner : [pulls out a gun and cocks the hammer] So, in order for you to take me seriously, I guess I'm just going to have to shoot you in the leg.
Motel Clerk : Sure...
[Turner fires the gun, hitting the electrical socket next to motel clerk's leg. Motel clerk screams hysterically]
Motel Clerk : You almost shot me! I can't believe you done that!
Scott Turner : Well, I can't believe I missed. Now where is Zack Gregory?
