Tango & Cash (1989)
Gabriel Cash: You wanna cut my throat, go ahead. You wanna cut my fuckin' head off and use it for a fuckin' basketball? You can *bowl* with the motherfucker for all I care! Just don't let HIM do it! I don't wanna get killed by this limey, immigrant JERKOFF! I wanna get killed by an AMERICAN jerkoff!
Requin: [English accent] You fucking wanker!
Captain Schroeder: If you really wanted to stare death in the eye, you shoulda gotten married.
Ray Tango: [laughs] Is that a proposal?
Gabriel Cash: Lucky for me this place is soundproof. That way nobody gets to hear me beating the truth out of you.
Assistant Warden Matt Sokowski: What's widdya friend?
Gabriel Cash: He's a little upset. He misses his wardrobe.
[then as they leave the room]
Ray Tango: I DO miss my wardrobe.
[Tango grabs a hefty submachine gun and hands Cash a pistol]
Ray Tango: Here.
Gabriel Cash: Aw, c'mon, how come yours is bigger than mine?
Ray Tango: Genetics, peewee.
Ray Tango: When this is over, we have to pay Jabba the Hutt here a visit.
Gabriel Cash: I'll bring the chainsaw.
Ray Tango: I'll bring the beer.
Gabriel Cash: You know, it's a free country, Tango.
Ray Tango: Yeah.
Gabriel Cash: And people are free to do whatever they want.
Ray Tango: So?
Gabriel Cash: Well, your sister is very, very free.
Ray Tango: I'm going to kill you.
[Tango has just stuck a grenade down a bad guy's pants]
Ray Tango: My contribution to birth control.
Gabriel Cash: You're getting a little radical here, don't you think?
Ray Tango: What's radical?
Gabriel Cash: Blowing a man's head off with a fucking hand grenade is a touch much, don't you think?
Ray Tango: You got your way, I got mine. You know, I'm kind of glad you didn't want to talk, Requin...
Gabriel Cash: You know what? I'll just shoot him in the goddamn leg, he'll talk!
Ray Tango: I don't want the leg, I want the whole package!
Gabriel Cash: Maybe he doesn't know anything, okay?
Ray Tango: I don't really care!
Gabriel Cash: I don't know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R...
Ray Tango: What's F.U.B.A.R.?
Gabriel Cash: Fucked-Up Beyond All Recognition.
[Tango just bursts through screen door and lands on his captain]
Ray Tango: Captain?
Captain Schroeder: Is this the way you screen all your guests?
Ray Tango: Do you think he's telling the truth?
Gabriel Cash: I don't know. But it's not raining and he's standing in a puddle.
Ray Tango: Disgusting.
Owen: Your Honor, the defendants wish to change their plea.
[Crowd is stunned. Judge McCormick bangs his gavel]
Judge McCormick: Order! Very well, Counselor. What is the plea?
Ray Tango: Your Honor, may I approach the bench, please?
Judge McCormick: Proceed, Mr. Tango.
Ray Tango: [Gets up, looks at Owen] It's okay.
[Tango approaches the bench]
Ray Tango: Your Honor, I have been a policeman for 12 years, and I think it's the best organization in the country. At times, I've been accused of being too aggressive at taking criminals off the streets. Well, if that's a sin, then I guess I'm guilty. All the cops I've worked with are good cops. They are... doing a tough job. And I only hope that the outcome of this trial is such, that the whole department is not judged by what has transpired here. Thank you.
[Tango returns to his seat]
Judge McCormick: Do you have anything to add, Mr. Cash?
Gabriel Cash: [Nods] Yeah.
Ray Tango: [Grabs Cash's arm] No!
Gabriel Cash: Yeah.
Ray Tango: No-no.
Gabriel Cash: Yeah.
Ray Tango: No.
[Cash gets up]
Gabriel Cash: Mr. Tango has, uh, spoken very eloquently. I wish I could be as forgiving. But I can't, because... this whole thing... fucking sucks! I mean, this is the biggest pile of shit I've ever...
Judge McCormick: Order! Order!
Interpreter: Detective Cash assaulted me. He put a chair on my chest and sat on it.
Gabriel Cash: [Tango looks at Cash, surprised] I couldn't find a piano.
[after Requin breaks down and confesses]
Gabriel Cash: You know, Potato Head, you just fell for the oldest routine in the book: bad cop...
Ray Tango: Worse cop!
Gabriel Cash: When this is over, remind me to rip Jumbo there's tongue out.
Ray Tango: With a tow truck.
[watching TV footage of Tango in action]
Yves Perret: Oh, God. Ray Tango. How he loves to dance. He waltzes in and takes all my drugs, then tangos back out again.
Yves Perret: Ah, the infamous Cash and Tango. Dishonored. Imprisoned. Such a shameful fall from glory.
Ray Tango: And who are you?
Yves Perret: Just think of me as somebody who doesn't like you very much.
Yves Perret: When the one Great Scorer comes to write against your name, he'll mark... not that you won or lost... but how you played the game. What bullshit!
Ray Tango: What are you doing? What are you doing?
Gabriel Cash: Relax. Soap. And don't flatter yourself... Peewee.
Ray Tango: Your Honor, I have been a policeman for 12 years and I think it's the best organization in the country. At times I've been accused of being too aggressive at taking criminals off the street. Well, if that's a sin, I guess I'm guilty. All the cops I've worked with are good cops.
[to fellow officers]
Ray Tango: You are. Doing a tough job. And I only hope that the outcome of this trial is such that the whole department is not judged by what has transpired here. Thank you.
Judge McCormick: Do you have anything to add Mr. Cash?
Gabriel Cash: [snickers] Yeah.
Ray Tango: No.
Gabriel Cash: Oh, yeah.
Ray Tango: No no.
Gabriel Cash: Yeah.
Ray Tango: No.
Gabriel Cash: [stands up to address the judge] Mr. Tango has spoken very eloquently and I wish I could be as forgiving. But I can't because this whole thing... FUCKING SUCKS.
Gabriel Cash: You don't know anything about electricity, do you?
Ray Tango: No.
Gabriel Cash: As long as you're only touching one wire and you're not touching the ground, you don't get electrocuted.
[Thinks about it for a moment]
Gabriel Cash: Um, right?
Ray Tango: I don't know.
Gabriel Cash: I don't either.
Gabriel Cash: This has got to be a mistake. What do you think?
Ray Tango: I think my underwear is riding into my throat.
Ray Tango: I think that with your IQ, you're unarmed and still VERY dangerous.
[Looking at a picture of Ray Tango in the paper]
Gabriel Cash: Well, if it isn't Armani with a badge.
Ray Tango: Why just use your Plan A?
Gabriel Cash: Because it's a hell of a lot better than your Plan B, which you don't even have.
Ray Tango: Pleasure doing time with ya.
Gabriel Cash: Yeah, I'll never forget that time in the shower.
[walking to the showers in prison naked]
Gabriel Cash: Nice to see your underwear problem is solved.
Ray Tango: I noticed. And Cash? You can stop holding your stomach.
Yves Perret: Oh, I've had enough of this. Too much television... can hurt your eyes.
Yves Perret: Quicker... and easier. Yes, quick and easy is how you make a cake. Or clean a toilet bowl, or shop... by mail. But quicker and easier is not how you run a multi-million dollar business such as ours.
[Requin is holding Cash at gunpoint, when Tango appears behind him]
Ray Tango: [English accent] Shame, shame! Don't you know ponytails are out this season? How you doin', Cash?
Gabriel Cash: [disarms Requin] Oh, things are just getting better by the second.
Ray Tango: There's a party up on the roof.
Gabriel Cash: Can I invite Mr. Potato Head here?
Ray Tango: Sure! Wouldn't be a party without Potato Head.
Ray Tango: [speaking to Face behind bars] I loved you in Conan the Barbarian.
Gabriel Cash: This is the tape that's gonna clear our names, courtesy of our friend Jumbo the Forgerer. What do you got?
Ray Tango: I got a quarter of four.
[Conan arrives to the laundry full of vengeful prisoners]
Ray Tango: Oh shit, it's Conan.
Gabriel Cash: What?
Ray Tango: It's Conan.
Gabriel Cash: We're gonna get F.U.B.A.R now.
Ray Tango: What the hell is F.U.B.A.R?
Gabriel Cash: You'll see.
Face: Real bad ass cops. You don't look so tough now, do you? DO YOU, YOU FUCK?
Ray Tango: [to Cash] He must mean you.
Face: Out on the streets, this pig and his cop friends, broke my ribs, my leg and my jaw.
[tsks at Tango]
Gabriel Cash: You broke that jaw?
Ray Tango: He deserved it.
Yves Perret: There you go thinking again. That will be the cause of your downfall. Try... try to control your fear. These men are convicted killers and fugitives. They won't last long on the outside.
Lopez: Mr. Perret, we cannot rely on the police. I insist...
Yves Perret: Don't insist! Insistent people make me angry. Everything is under control.
Yves Perret: [to Requin] Cover your tracks.
Slinky: I'm not afraid of you. See that? I killed him.
Ray Tango: Congratulations.
Slinky: He was my best friend.
[Ray Tango looks up bewildered]
Slinky: Crazy people aren't afraid of anybody.
[Tango's just stopped a truck and its occupants are now rolling sore on the road]
Ray Tango: Glad you could drop in. Do you like jewelery?
Face: Oh, fuck you.
Ray Tango: I prefer blondes.
[Conan spits on Tango's shoes]
Ray Tango: [tossing cuffs onto the ground] Do the honors.
Owen: [unable to see the chaos outside the car] Cash what was that noise?
Gabriel Cash: Don't worry Owen, just a couple speed bumps.
[dangling Requin off a roof by his legs]
Gabriel Cash: Come on, you meat puppet! Who pulls your strings?
Requin: Piss off! Bollocks to Plan A! I like this! The view's great up here! Heh, heh!
Gabriel Cash: What'd he say?
Ray Tango: Plan "A"'s a loser.
Gabriel Cash: Hold on. Give me a name, Death-Breath, or you're going back to fucking England in a fucking baggie!
Requin: Up yours, arsehole! You ain't worth a toss! Go on, drop me! Do it!
Gabriel Cash: Plan "A" is definitely a loser.
Gabriel Cash: You want my vote for the Psycho Hall of Fame, asshole? You got it!
Ray Tango: I gotta go. I don't wanna put you in jeopardy.
Katherine 'Kiki' Tango: What are you talking about?
Ray Tango: I'm talking about all that filth and scum I have to deal with out there.
Gabriel Cash: Here I am!
Ray Tango: See what I mean?
Gabriel Cash: I've got good news and bad news.
Ray Tango: What's the bad news?
Gabriel Cash: We're almost out of gas.
Ray Tango: What's the good news?
Gabriel Cash: We're ALMOST out of gas.