The Simpsons (TV Series 1989– ) Poster

(1989– )

Harry Shearer: Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Lenny, Kent Brockman, Dr. Hibbert, Mr. Burns, Waylon Smithers, Otto, Montgomery Burns, Lenny Leonard...



  • Elf : Welcome to Santa's Village, where it's Christmas everyday! Closed on Christmas.

  • Ned Flanders : You know, a man came into the store today and asked for change for a dollar, and I accidentally gave him three quarters. Took me all afternoon just to track him down.

  • Mr. Burns : Whoa, slow down there maestro. There's a NEW Mexico?

  • Mr. Burns : Smithers, release the hounds.

  • Mr. Burns : [Giving a talk to inspire the school]  Okay, I'm going to keep this short. Friends, family, religion. These are the demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Any questions?

  • Kent Brockman : So, Senator, tell our viewers why they should vote for you?

    Kang : [Bioduplicated to look like the Senator]  It makes no difference who you vote for! Either way your Planet is Doomed! Doomed!

    Kent Brockman : Well, a refreshingly honest response there from Senator Bob Dole!

  • Ned Flanders : Hi-diddly-ho, neighbourino!

  • Principal Skinner : Mrs Krabappel is in Portland. It turns out the people she hired to deprogram her sister out of that Cult were an even worse Cult.

  • Homer : Oh no, Aliens! Well, I suppose you want to probe me, might as well get it over with.

    Kang : Stop!

    [Tentacles quiver] 

    Kang : We've reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us...

  • Principal Skinner : There's no justice like angry-mob justice.

  • [repeated line] 

    Mr. Burns : Excellent.

  • Kent Brockman : [in front of a mugshot of HRH Queen Elizabeth II]  And the Queen will be held without bail until the sample is returned.

  • [repeated lines] 

    Homer : Shut up, Flanders!

    Ned Flanders : Okily-dokily!

  • Mr. Burns : Bolshevism! Sheer Bolshevism! Ripe for the quashing!

  • [repeated line] 

    Mr. Burns : Ahoy-hoy?/!

  • Marge : We've got to get you away from these violent influences and into Church!

    Reverend Lovejoy : And then the Belshazzemites did PIERCE the eyes of their foes and feasted upon what flowed thereforth.

  • Principal Skinner : Despite all the Ritalin, Bart has moved on to drugs...

  • Bart : [filling Skinner's pants with cats and dynamite] 

    Principal Skinner : This is not going to end well.

  • Principal Skinner : [Not happy with the "Puma Pride" mural]  The shapely female form has no place in Art!

  • Homer : Sanctuary!

    Reverend Lovejoy : Oh, why did I teach him that word?

  • Homer : [at a company picnic held at Mr Burns' mansion]  Oh, boss. Look what we brought.

    [holds up a jello mould] 

    Homer : Gelatine desserts.

    Mr. Burns : [slaps his head]  Oh, for the love of Peter. That's what everybody brought. Some damn fool


    Mr. Burns : went around telling everyone I love that slimy goop.

    [motions to a whole collection of jello moulds] 

    Mr. Burns : Well, toss it in the pile over there.


    Mr. Burns : And make yourselves at home.

  • Kent Brockman : So I guess you could say this barely qualifies as news...

  • Ned Flanders : Absotively Posolutely!

  • [repeated line] 

    Reverend Lovejoy : Damn Flanders.

  • Mr. Burns : Smithers, get this bedlamite an alienist!

  • Mrs Lovejoy : [the Parson is coming]  Please try and relax.

    Reverend Lovejoy : But he's like the Pope of this thing!

  • Captain McCallister : I'll need three ships and fifty stout men. We'll sail around the Horn and return with spices and silk, the likes of which ye have never seen.

    Mr. Burns : We are building a CASINO.

    Captain McCallister : Aaaaarrr... Can you give me 5 minutes?

  • Mr. Burns : What was I laughing at? Oh, yes, that crippled Irishman! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

  • Ned Flanders : Science is like someone who tells you the end of a movie before you've watched it! I say there are some things we don't want to know! Important things!

  • Kent Brockman : And that's how a Hippo became a Deputy.

    Homer : ...Stupid Hippo.

  • Otto : [at the wrong film]  I never realised British Coal Miners had it so hard. There's blood on your hands, Mrs Thatcher!

  • Reverend Lovejoy : Have you ever thought about one of the other major religions, Ned? They're all just as good...

  • Kent Brockman : And I, for one, welcome our insect Overlords...

  • Mr. Burns : Smithers, unleash the League of Evil!

    Waylon Smithers : [Opens Secret Panel. The League are all dead] 

    Mr. Burns : My League! What happened to my beautiful League?

    Waylon Smithers : Even Monsters need air, Sir.

  • Superintendent Chalmers : [Vaudeville]  What I am asking you is "Who's on first?"

    Principal Skinner : A man called Hoo is on First Base, whose name confusingly sounds like the question "Who?"

    Superintendent Chalmers : Well, Seymour, you have ruined the Act. Ya sexless freak.

  • Homer : Oh, great! Mormons!

    Kang : Actually, we're Quantum Presbytarians...

  • Mr. Burns : Would you care for some dangerous drugs?

    Homer : Well, if that is your custom...

  • Ned Flanders : [people are missing the point of Flanders' "Hell House"]  No! His sin was thinking that women are beautiful!

  • Principal Skinner : It's the only Behaviour Modification Camp cruel enough to scare kids like Bart straight, and then send them home quietly ticking away...

  • Mr. Burns : Summon the Shire-Reeve, wake the Beadle!

  • Principal Skinner : [Lisa's President in the Future]  Your nutrition and education programs just created a generation of Supercriminals.

  • [repeated lines] 

    Mr. Burns : Who is that man?

    Waylon Smithers : That's Homer Simpson, sir. One of your _ from sector 7G.

    Mr. Burns : Simpson, eh?

  • Mr. Burns : [repeated line, whenever he forgets Homer's name]  Simpson, eh?

  • Mr. Burns : [Old Timey Atom Factory]  Come on boys, crack those atoms! You! Turn out your pockets! Atoms! Six of them! Take him away!

    The Working Man : You can't do this to the working man! One day we'll form a Union and get the Fair and Equitable treatment we deserve! And then we'll go too far and get corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us alive!

    Mr. Burns : The Japanese! Those sandal wearing basket weavers!

    Mr. Burns : [Present Day]  If only we'd listened to that man instead of walling him up in an old coke oven...

  • Superintendent Chalmers : I do not belong here! I am not bald, I am balding! Why doesn't anyone respect the Ding?

    Principal Skinner : I respect the Ding, Sir!

    Superintendent Chalmers : What in God's name are you talking about?

  • Mr. Burns : Bosh! Flimshaw!

  • Kent Brockman : Human feelings, expressed by a Human.

  • Principal Skinner : Today we're doing Coding, moving on from our last educational fad, "Mindfulness". Did anyone work out what that was all about?

    [undecided murmurs] 

    Milhouse : Shutting up?

    Principal Skinner : Sure, whatever.

  • Kent Brockman : Tonight we ask "Do Opposites Attract?" as the World's oldest man meets the World's fattest man...

  • Kent Brockman : Tonight on Eye on Springfield, we meet a man who's been hiccupping for seven years...

    Mr Hiccups : Hic! Kill me! Hic! Kill me!

  • Superintendent Chalmers : [tractored from behind by Bart]  I was going to make you Deputy Superintendent, but now that plum goes to Holloway!

    Principal Skinner : Holloway? But he's a drunk!

    Superintendent Chalmers : And a pill-popper! And what is a Dinner Lady doing posing as a Nurse?

    Lunchlady Doris : I get two paychecks this way.

    Superintendent Chalmers : D'oh.

  • Principal Skinner : [Loudspeaker]  Someone has been distributing counterfeit candy hearts with off colour sentiments on them. I would like to remind you that Valentine's Day is no laughing matter!

    [Vietnam Flashback] 

    Principal Skinner : Writing a Valentine to your sweetheart, Johnny?

    Johnny : You betcha!

    [Machine-gunned to death] 

    Principal Skinner : Johnny? Johnny!

    [Doesn't realise he's thinking aloud] 

    Principal Skinner : JOHNNYYYY!

    Bart : Cool, I broke his brain!

  • Mr. Glascock : This is a great day for me. I thought Id never teach again.

    Principal Skinner : Well, thinks have changed. There will be no mockery of your name, Mr. Glascock.

  • Principal Skinner : Silent Anger! The cornerstone of a successful marriage...

  • Coma Guy : Are Sonny and Cher still doing that stupid show?

    Kent Brockman : She won an Oscar and he's a Congressman!

    Coma Guy : Good night!


  • Kang : No Pickle, Butter Brickle.

  • Principal Skinner : But how will children learn if they don't feel like they're in kid jail?

  • Mr. Burns : [after Bart knocks Smithers unconscious with a rock]  I like him a lot.

  • Principal Skinner : [over the school's PA system]  Students, I have an announcement. One of your favourite comic book heroes, Radio Man...

    Nelson : Radioactive Man, stupid!

    Principal Skinner : Strange. I shouldn't have been able to hear that.

  • Ned Flanders : [Flanders pours Homer a beer from a tap in his rumpus room]  Here's a tasty little lager that came all the way from Holland.

    Homer : Well, beggy can't be choosy.

    [Homer drinks some and let's out a loud belch] 

  • Mr. Burns : Are you sure you haven't just made hundreds of mistakes?

    Doctor : ...Yes.

  • Principal Skinner : In the interests of open dialogue, sit quietly and watch this film.

  • Mrs. Krabappel : You're endangering the childrens' future!

    Principal Skinner : [too loud]  Oh, come on Edna, you know as well as I that these kids HAVE no future! Ha! Prove me wrong, children!

  • Lisa : I know I'll never be great, but shouldn't I try?

    Principal Skinner : No.

  • Ned Flanders : It's like ever since that Barbeque there's been a Curse on me.

  • Video Card : My name is...

    Ned Flanders : Rod!

    Video Card : My hobbies are...

    Ned Flanders : Brushing my teeth, and Diabetes!

  • Otto : [looting Picasso's Guernica] 

  • Mr. Burns : Bah! Fracking produces enough clean natural gas to make America independent of sheiks, caliphs and Scandinavians.

  • Ned Flanders : Snake, what would your Momma say if she knew you were going around shooting nice people in the Brain?

    Snake : She'd say that year off from Princeton was the worst mistake of my Life...

  • Reverend Lovejoy : I just stopped caring. Fortunately by then it was the 80s and nobody noticed.

  • Principal Skinner : Finally, we can afford attractive Teachers!

    Ugly Teacher : [clearing desk]  I was the only one who understood Osmosis!

  • Reverend Lovejoy : It's all over, people! We haven't got a prayer!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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