The Simpsons (TV Series 1989– ) Poster

(1989– )

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Kearney, Todd Flanders, Maggie Simpson, Database, Additional Voices, Kearney Zzyzwicz, Lewis...



  • Bart : Dad, I can't believe you're risking my life to save your own.

    Homer : Son, you'll understand one day, when you have kids.

  • Ralph : Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

  • Comic Book Guy : That was from a Dream Sequence! It never really happened.

    Bart : None of these things ever really happened!

    Comic Book Guy : Get out of my Store!

  • Bart : Ay, carumba!

  • Bart : [slapping Lisa]  Don't hit Maggie. She's just a baby.

    Homer : [slapping Bart]  Don't hit Lisa. She's a girl.

    Grampa : [slapping Homer]  Keep your hands off of him Homer!

  • Bart : Lisa made me do it. She cast a witch's spell on me.

    Lisa : It's spelled Wicca, and it's empowering.

    Bart : Wicca is just a Hollywood fad.

    Lisa : That's Kabbala, jerk.

  • Bart : Eat my shorts.

  • Ralph : Your hair is tall and pretty!

    Marge : Thank you Ralph!

    [puts her hand on his shoulder] 

    Marge : You really are a nice young gentleman.

    Ralph : Ah! She's touching my special area.

  • Nelson : I feel like such a tool.

  • Bart : I'm not bad, I just make bad decisions.

  • Bart : I'm done working. Working is for chumps.

    Homer : Son, I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out.

  • Bart : [filling Skinner's pants with cats and dynamite] 

    Principal Skinner : This is not going to end well.

  • Bart : Don't have a cow, man.

  • Robert Goulet : Are you sure this is the casino? Mr. Burns' Casino? I think I should call my manager...

    Nelson : Your manager says for you to shut up!

    Robert Goulet : Vera said that?

  • [repeated line] 

    Bart : Well, I'm bored.

  • [repeated line] 

    Bart , Lisa : AAAAAAH! SIDESHOW BOB!

  • Bart : I don't know why I do what I do

    [eats a bag of M&Ms then drinks a two-litre bottle of soda] 

    Bart : Whoa!


  • Bart : Homer, your half-assed underparenting was much easier to put up with than your half-assed overparenting.

    Homer : But I'm using my whole ass!

  • Bart : We're rich, Homer! What shall we buy first?

    Homer : A Singing Rubber Fish, of course!

  • Bart : I got a rapid heartbeat from KrustyBrand Vitamins, but this will not stand!

  • Mrs. Krabappel : [Bart accidentally killed the class fish with his yo-yo]  Bart, that's one month's detention.

    Bart : Mrs Krabappel, we're all upset by the untimely deaths of Stinky and Wrinkles, but life goes on, so if I could just have my yo-yo back...

    Mrs. Krabappel : Bart, if I were you and you were me, would you give back the yo-yo?

    Bart : [Bart imagines himself as a giant with a yo-yo and Mrs Krabappel as a tiny person]  Here you go.

    [he reels it in before she can grab it] 

    Bart : Just kidding. Here you go.

    [does it again] 

    Bart : Just kidding.

    [laughs evilly] 

    Mrs. Krabappel : Well, would you?

    Bart : Absolutely.

    Mrs. Krabappel : HA!

  • [repeated line] 

    Bart : This blows.

  • Captain McCallister : You're the boy that does healing miracles, arrrrrren't ya?

    Bart : I don't do that anymore. I am no healer.

    Captain McCallister : Arrr. I guess I'll have to find someone else to help me with my crippling depression.

    [wanders away] 

    Bart : And I thought he had it all.

  • Bart : Tell us a story, Grampa, you've led an interesting life.

    Grampa : That's a lie and you know it! But I have seen a lot of movies...

  • Bart : [junk mail]  Poison the Termites, Gas the Termites, Nuke the Termites, Save the Termites...

  • Homer : Then I bonked my head on the table and blacked out. The Doctors thought I might have brain damage.

    Bart : Dad, what is the point of this story?

    Homer : I like stories.

  • Principal Skinner : [Loudspeaker]  Someone has been distributing counterfeit candy hearts with off colour sentiments on them. I would like to remind you that Valentine's Day is no laughing matter!

    [Vietnam Flashback] 

    Principal Skinner : Writing a Valentine to your sweetheart, Johnny?

    Johnny : You betcha!

    [Machine-gunned to death] 

    Principal Skinner : Johnny? Johnny!

    [Doesn't realise he's thinking aloud] 

    Principal Skinner : JOHNNYYYY!

    Bart : Cool, I broke his brain!

  • Bart : [funny noise] 

    Milhouse : Ha! You're funny. And the world needs a clown.

  • Bart : Why are we best friends?

    Milhouse : Because our seats were behind each other at School!

  • Bart : [to Lisa]  What are you going to change your name to when you get older?

  • Bart : A kid who can't keep his parents' marriage together is no kid at all.

  • Bart : Grampa, everyone's calling me a coward!

    Grampa : Well join the club! Anyone who makes it to old age has got to be part coward.

  • Bart : Culture's in Decline! Deal with it!

  • Bart : What's a Muppet?

    Homer : Well it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a Puppet, but boy-oh-boy! So in answer to your question, I don't know.

  • Principal Skinner : [over the school's PA system]  Students, I have an announcement. One of your favourite comic book heroes, Radio Man...

    Nelson : Radioactive Man, stupid!

    Principal Skinner : Strange. I shouldn't have been able to hear that.

  • Homer : You'll have to climb the ladder boy.

    Bart : But I'm scared!

    Homer : Scared? What are we giving you all those meds for?

    Bart : So you can do less parenting?

    Homer : Ha! Babysitter in a bottle...

  • Bart : Are you gonna throw me in the Loony Bin?

    Therapist : No, there are no Loony Bins any more! Those people are on the street...

  • Milhouse : I'm tired of being a star, it's a sham! The real heroes are out there working on more important things!

    Bart : Television.

    Milhouse : No, curing cancer and solving world hunger!

    Bart : But they haven't solved anything! Cancer and world hunger are still rampant. Those do-gooders are a bunch of pitiful losers!

  • Bart : As the Rabbi says, "Blessed are the Jesters."

  • Carny : You had that scar when you got on!

    Bart : What scar?

    Carny : You'll find out.

    [rips out the safety bar, wanders off] 

    Carny : I like keeping records to myself. Ahh, oh I make the soup, my goodness, do I make the soup!

  • Bart : The Internet wrote my Essay, and I handed it in.

  • Lisa : First Prize! First Prize!

    Bart : [waking up]  What are you doing?

    Lisa : Just messing with your mind.

  • Bart : Who says "ersters"?

    Homer : Songwriters who are stuck!

  • Bart : Snap out of it! You're Krusty the Clown! One of Look Magazine's Hundred Most Promising Clowns of 1958!

    Krusty the Clown : A lot of suicides in that group. Funny suicides...

  • Bart : [Rod and Tod]  When they grow up, people like me will take all their money and girlfriends.

  • Marge : Okay, Smart Guy...

    Bart : Why do you only call me Smart when you're being sarcastic?

    Marge : Do I do that? I really shouldn't.

  • Lisa : [Yearbook]  I edited the whole thing!

    Nelson : If you hadn't done it, some other loser would have.

  • Ralph : Your God is Wrong!

  • Bart : With this Broken Leg I'll miss the whole Summer!

    Homer : Don't worry, Son, when you're a Grown Up like me, you'll miss Every Summer!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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