The Simpsons (TV Series 1989– ) Poster

(1989– )

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Jacqueline Bouvier, Others, Jackie Bouvier, Actress as Marge, Angela Lansburry, Audience, Aunt Gladys...



  • Marge : Homer, it's easy to criticize.

    Homer : Fun, too.

  • Marge : Sitting that close to the TV is bad for your health.

    Homer : Talking to me while I'm watching TV is bad for your health.

  • Marge : There's no shame in being a pariah.

  • Marge : What do you do, follow my Husband around?

    Hot Dog Vendor : Lady, he's putting my kids through College!

  • Marge : Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.

  • Marge : Not the swear jar! It's the only thing holding back the filth!

    [Swear jar breaks] 

    Marge : Nuttyfudgekins!

  • Marge : You should probably see a doctor about this...

    Homer : OK.

    Marge : [realizing]  A competent doctor.

    Homer : D'oh!

  • Marge : Nelson's a troubled little boy. He needs to be isolated. From everyone!

  • Marge : [cage-fighting]  I don't want to sound like a killjoy, but because this is not to my taste I don't think anyone else should be allowed to enjoy it.

  • Ralph : Your hair is tall and pretty!

    Marge : Thank you Ralph!

    [puts her hand on his shoulder] 

    Marge : You really are a nice young gentleman.

    Ralph : Ah! She's touching my special area.

  • Marge : [Bart is in an asylum after faking sociopathy to get back at his parents for testing him for it]  How could he go so wrong!

    Homer : We did everything we could for him during the commercials!

  • Marge : We've got to get you away from these violent influences and into Church!

    Reverend Lovejoy : And then the Belshazzemites did PIERCE the eyes of their foes and feasted upon what flowed thereforth.

  • Marge : [Bart is on Focusin and behaving]  Oh, Bart, you're turning into the kind of boy every Mother wants! A girl!

  • Homer : Name me one person who overcame adversity just on his own!

    Marge : Balzac!

    Homer : No need for pottymouth just because you can't think of anyone.

  • Marge : We don't have room for another child.

    Homer : We'll let Bart sleep in Lisa's room until he leaves home.

    Marge : Won't that warp him?

    Homer : It didn't warp my Uncle Frank.

    Marge : What happened to him?

    Homer : He joined that Cult. I think he's Mother Shabooboo now.

  • Marge : [protesting, sees Homer go in]  Mr. Scalper, a ticket please!

    Scalper : I am not a Scalper, I am a dude whose 200 friends did not show up.

    [sells her a ticket] 

    Mrs Lovejoy : Now what do we do?

    Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon : Let's talk about Marge behind her back!

    Mrs Hibbert : Have you noticed her baby never says a thing?

    Luanne : I'll bet it saw something awful!

  • Boxcar Hobo : Don't worry! I'm not a Stabbin' Hobo, I'm a Singin' Hobo! I Stab all day/ and I Stab all night/ Stabbin' 'em all up/ with my Stabbin' Stabbin' Knife...

    Marge : Could you sing something less unsettling?

  • Marge : If I don't fight him tomorrow, you kids will have a more violent future.

  • Homer : [the Nahasapeemapetalans have had Octuplets]  I'm sterile, right, Baby Doll?

    Marge : Yes, dear, from the Nuclear Plant.

    Homer : Sweet.

  • Marge : Just when things were at their lowest...

    Grampa : I realised I could make extra money selling my medication to Dead-Heads!

    Marge : Grampa, what are you talking about?

    Grampa : Er... nothing.

  • Marge : Right, no more TV at all!

    Homer : Marge, this is a Noble Experiment, but like Prohibition it's just going to end in a hail of bullets.

  • Marge : Homer, I couldn't help but overhear you warping Bart's mind...

  • Marge : I wish you wouldn't drink so much in front of the kids.

    Homer : I tried drinking in the pantry but you claimed that was antisocial.

  • [repeated line] 

    Marge : Hrrrrrmmm!

  • [repeated line] 

    Marge : My special little guy.

  • The Rich Texan : [Giving away Santa's Little Helper's new friend]  I want you to have my dawg. Once they fall in love they're no good.

    Marge : But won't you miss her love and companionship?

    The Rich Texan : Ah-ha-ha-ha! Lady, you're aaaaalright!

  • Selma Bouvier : [Selma's going on a date with Barney Gumble]  It's time to ashcan my girlhood hopes and dreams, and grab hold of the first train out of the station.

  • Mrs. Krabappel : Is this the line to rag on the new Principal Skinner?

    Marge : If you have eight items or less.

    Mrs. Krabappel : Ten, nine, eight! He's a weenie!

    Marge : The first Principal Skinner was a weenie too!

    Mrs. Krabappel : But he was OUR weenie!

    Agnes Skinner : Now there was a weenie you could be proud to call your son.

    Marge : Did you ever tell him that?

  • Homer : [Pinchy is nipped by a crab]  Hey! You don't have to take that from a punk-ass crab! What's wrong with you?

    Captain McCallister : Arrr, it's not his fault he's a sissy. Someone's been coddling him.

    Marge : Don't look at me! I wanted to eat him!

    Captain McCallister : Sorry, it's usually the Mother. I run an academy for lobsters, we stress tough love and discipline, if you want to try it.

    Marge : No! We're not sending the lobster to a snooty boarding school!

    Captain McCallister : Arr, then answer me this: do you have any loose change?

  • Marge : [Blind date]  Please, don't be a freak.

    Captain McCallister : [singing in the dark]  Met her on the Mountain! There I took her life! Met her on the Mountain! Stabbed her with my Knife!

  • Homer : Hi, I'm Homer Simpson, I Mooned for rebuttal.

    Marge : Yes, I remember.

  • Marge : You don't need friends to be happy! I haven't had a friend in years!

    Homer : You've got me! Who've I got?

  • Marge : Okay, you're overstimulated. Let's get some beer in you, and then off to bed!

  • Selma Bouvier : No resenting us, ever!

    Homer : That's some great flutenastics!

    Selma Bouvier : Shut up! You can't praise her! She'll think she's smart and slack off! All our loving would be wasted!

  • Marge : Why all the bowling balls?

    Homer : Marge, I'm not going to lie to you.

  • Marge : Okay, Smart Guy...

    Bart : Why do you only call me Smart when you're being sarcastic?

    Marge : Do I do that? I really shouldn't.

  • Marge : [Blanche DuBois]  I thought my life would be a Mardi Gras, a Neverending Party, Ha! I'm a faded Southern Dame without a Dime.

  • Homer : Marge, if I die, promise me one thing!

    Marge : Anything, my Love.

    Homer : Burn down the Hospital!

    Marge : Well, I did say anything...

  • Marge : [Always New Year Amusement Park Gimmick]  It must be wonderful to be ringing in the New Year all the time!

    Waiter : Please, kill me.

  • Marge : You can't keep doing this to yourself!

    Homer : I'm as Healthy as a Horse!

    Marge : Horses only live 30 years!

    Homer : [Whinnys] 

  • Marge : Stick it out, my Mother said, even if you picked a Loser! To the bitter end.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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