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The Alzheimer-ish buffoon Commandant Lassard is propelled to the fore with no effect upon the quality, which would be laudable if there was any. Guttenberg's libidinous, puerile cretin character, Mahoney, is missing yet unmissed. The rest of the shamelessly worthless crew are back exhibiting timing which would embarrass a wristwatch from the Poundshop.
The movies don't get a bit better, they just keep getting worse. The laughs are so childish, so boring and stupid that it's very difficult seeing the fun in this at times. The characters that were in the first one original and entertaining, hasn't grown one day older and it gets stuck. It doesn't leap forward, nothing really interesting or entertaining happens, so it's just so fabulously bad! The whole Police Academy thing isn't that an awful idea, but it's the way that they simply kept stretching the limits of the whole plot. The thing gets really silly, really childish and awfully bad, and what's with the thing that always the makers wants to have this new, bad thing popping up at the end?
Anyways, at some point in the film, our cast decide to indulge in a limbo-dancing event. As G.W. Bailey and Lance Kinsey lament the fact that the time to fire their agent has well and truly passed, and the rest of the cast seem to celebrate the fact that they get to eat this year, the music in the background repeatedly asks us how low can we go. If that isn't irony, I don't know what is.
It is scenes like the one I've just described that Steve Guttenberg and Bobcat Goldthwait obviously read before telling their agent that not working at all was preferable to appearing in this drivel. As we endure endless scenes with extras falling over for no readily apparent reason (although the golf balls sell the illusion effectively enough) or characters tanning the word "dork" onto each others' chests (and that is about as adult as the humour gets here), one of the great theories about family-friendliness is proven. The makers of Police Academy 5 might have made a Police Academy film that is suitable for four-year-olds to watch, but in so doing, they have made a film that only four-year-olds would want to watch.
If your four-year-old is able to read at what we laughingly refer to as an adult level such as I was at that age, they will most likely turn to you when the credits roll and say something along the lines of "well that was stupid, wasn't it?".
The plot revolves around something that probably should have been done at the end of the last film: putting George Gaynes out to pasture. After seeing him in previous Police Academy films and Punky Brewster (often within days of each other), I have a tremendous respect for the man, but he really is just getting too old to do this. By the time Police Academy 8 rolls out, he will be 88. Granted, there are actors who put in great performances at similar ages (Christopher Lee is only about five years his junior), but given that George has started to speak at a rate of about one word an hour, I don't think he's got another film left in him.
Getting back to the plot, anyway, as Commandant Lassard is scheduled to retire, Captain Harris senses an opportunity to become Commandant of the Academy, while his old trainees sense an opportunity to pay respect to a man who had quite the positive impact in their lives.
It sounds like a very flimsy foundation for a film, and to be quite frank, when you've got writers of this calibre putting it together, it is. As has been said earlier, the suitable-for-all-ages mentality is one element that makes the film boring. The performances are another. George Gaynes, in spite of being so old that you aren't sure anymore that he's pretending to be completely unaware, is the only actor in this mess who *doesn't* phone in his performance.
Matt McCoy is a poor substitute for Steve Guttenberg, as is exemplified by the quality of the jokes played on Captain Harris demonstrates. Mahoney wouldn't merely sunburn a word into Harris' chest. We've seen Mahoney smear shoe-polish on a megaphone, cast dispersions on Harris' sexuality, as well as make a laughing stock of the man by spreading the word about an unfortunate accident involving a motorbike and a horse. And that's just in the first film. Sorry, Nick, but to call your effort weak is a form of flattery.
All in all, I gave Police Academy 5 a one out of ten. I don't know what is scarier. That they are making a number 8, or that people have actually voted 10 for this load of dung.
And so here we are: the first Police Academy movie without Steve Guttenberg and the first sequel without Bobcat Goldthwait. It's also the first that is completely unfunny and just outright terrible. Although Guttenberg and Bobcat are absent, there are many returning cast members from the series. Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow, David Graf, Leslie Easterbrook, G.W. Bailey, Marion Ramsey, and George Gaynes all return. Sadly, these actors who were all so likable in the series up until now are kind of annoying here. Terrible direction for a series that just gets worse from here on out.
I like the golf balls and the silly men falling on them. Very nicely done. Very funny. The policemen go to Miami and have some fun on a beach. I split my pant laughing.
They slip on golf balls and hurt themselves. I am laughing now. This is funny. Pant splittingly so.
Later, they are swimming in the sea and slip on a golf ball. Three villains are after them all and decide to leave some golf balls on the floor. The silly policemen fall on the golf balls again. Very funny again. I wet my pant laughing. Genius.
I am loving this movie. Still laughing at it as I write. Very nice indeed. I must go now, I have ripped my trouser. Damn, I must go now.
The first had a few laughs, but was basically a rip-off of "Stripes" with Bill Murray. The second film was decent, and had just enough laughs to watch for. The third was one of those Sunday afternoon flicks. The rest are absolute, slobbering, grimy, putrid trash.
The plot involves Police Chief Lassard heading off to Miami Beach to accept an award. At the airport, he accidentedly switches suitcases with jewel thieves, who want their diamonds back...
This is the excuse for laughs not even half-baked. As always, the things one laughs at are those that the writers did not intend the audience to laugh at, like the end "action" sequence involving alligators, crocodiles, or whatever those fake puppets were.
I don't know how the "Police Academy" series ever got any more productions after the second or third film, but they did. Perhaps, in a sick, demented way, it's for the better. It ruined Steve Guttenberg's career, and gave all aspiring comedy writers something to "not do" when writing a comedy.
This was was notable for the silly men slipping on golf balls and for Captain Harris' trouser falling down in the airport.
I am laughing still. Laughing, soiling, leaking urine and reminiscing about this pant splitter of a movie. I love it.
I shall recommend it to all of you as one big mother of a pant splitter. You will laugh, cry, soil, split and above all leak at this movie.
It was followed by six sequels, and none of them were as good or even on the same level as the first, though admittedly some are worse than others. Most of them are actually being pretty bad or worse and lose what was enjoyable about the original in the first place. While it was with the fourth film where things properly got particularly stale, it was from the fifth film where finding redeeming qualities proved to be difficult.
Not that 'Police Academy 5' doesn't have them. It has two mildly amusing gags, one with a golf ball and the other involving falling into the water and an alligator. The best performance by a large margin comes from Rene Auberjonois, who seems to be having fun and really makes an effort to liven things up (and he succeeds).
Even with the presence of George Gaynes, G.W. Bailey and Michael Winslow, high points previously, only Auberjonois comes close to giving a good performance. The regulars do do their best but are let down by awful writing and characters that sees bumbling taken to wild extremes that it becomes irritating and intelligence-insultingly stupid. Matt McCoy is an incredibly bland and wooden lead, filling in for Steve Guttenberg (him leaving the series was a very wise decision for him).
'Police Academy 5' looks cheap, with budget and time constraints written all over it, and generally it is also one of the most ineptly directed films of the series. The music, so catchy and infectious in previous instalment, is forgettable at best here and often that is being too kind on it.
Anybody who disliked the writing in the previous three 'Police Academy' sequels will outright hate it here. The dialogue is often mean-spirited and low-brow, and the gags are almost completely unfunny all round (apart from two amusing gags that are not close to being series highlights). They suffer from pedestrian timing and from taking immaturity to a whole new level that one feels their IQ has dropped.
While it has been well established that people don't see the 'Police Academy' films for their stories, the story here feels repetitive and incredibly lazy in execution, and it's only with the kidnapping subplot (which doesn't gel with the rest of the film) where there's a little more momentum. The climax is overlong and dumbness replaces genuine excitement.
Overall, a mess. 2/10 Bethany Cox
And they can have 'em.
"Police Academy 5" would be a disappointment if a college film class had produced, directed and starred in it. But to think that this was committed by Hollywood suits who thought there was a shred of humor in any of this....
Wait, cleansing breath.... Okay, let's continue.
Guttenberg cut out in the last movie, which leaves McCoy as the "romantic/humorous" lead. But not to worry: the rest of the usual gang of idiots comes along, too. Smith, Winslow, Graf, Easterbrook, Ramsey et al, pop up in Miami to help honor their Commandant (Gaynes) who is being honored as Policeman of the Decade on the eve of his forced retirement. Of course, there's the usual complications of jewel smuggling, kidnapping, chases in the Everglades, purse snatchers in drag....
You want the truth, here's the truth: the best part of this entire movie is watching Jones gallivant around in a swimsuit. Now SHE'S a piece of police-work. And Easterbrook is always good to watch lounging by the pool.
And Winslow's vocal wizardry is good for a few chuckles. That's about it.
Two and a half stars. And the next time someone calls you a "dork" while on the beach, check your chest.
No, no, no. The reason I hate this movie? It's simply not Police Academy. It's just a really, really, really, really bad movie with a really stupid and preposterous boat chase at the end. I give it a one out of ten. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
As well as the notable loss of Bobcat and Guttenberg, we are missing Kirkand's family, Sweetchuck, Fackler, and all the Citizens on Patrol except House. Tackleberry, Hightower, Jones, Hooks, and Callahan all seem tired and are only there to say a few lines and show once again their individual traits in decreasing comedic quality. Lassard, Proctor, and Harris get the best laughs and at least try with their performances. McCoy as Guttenberg's replacement is weak, lacks charm and his stunts are not as funny. Everything becomes increasingly childish, and the whole film looks and feels like a series of short sketches. The bad guys have their moments, and there are a few moments worthy of parts 1-4. Part 6 would be slightly better, 7 would be rubbish, ensuring that they should have left it at 4. However, now that 8 has been announced, and with the recent resurgence of this kind of humour, it could be good. Tackleberry is gone though, and any entry would not be the same without him.
6 out of 10
Steve Guttenberg had left the series by this time and Matt McCoy is a wooden stand-in for him. Some of the regular cast members aren't bad but they're let down by the poor quality of the script, which really needed some polishing. The golf ball gag was one of the few I enjoyed. Later in the story, Rene Auberjonois has a fun role in an unusual kidnapping plot, which at least breathes a little life into the film, but sadly it's not enough to make this a success.
The plot is quite straight forward as usual, Cmdt Lassard is up for retirement (after Harris brought it to everyone's attention) and is being given a heroes send off in Miami. So off he goes with his regular band of loyal officers. Everything gets spoilt though when an accidental bag switch with some criminals equals Lassard having some stolen jewels and the criminals getting his pet goldfish.
While this still continues the trend of a PG film there is still a reasonable amount of fun to be had with the highjinx. The plot being set in Miami of course equals lots of obligatory tanned ladies in bikini's and clichéd poolside slapstick. While its not dirty or seedy its relatively easy going and watchable which is surprisingly really. I think this film is much closer to a Pink Panther type film with the trio of incompetent criminals trying to nab Lassard's bag, that combined with the standard predictable pranks on Harris.
Once again though we have the repetitive training aspect of these films...yes again. Because the guys are at a convention for Lassard's award there is yet more police procedural demonstrations which once again gives all the characters the chance to demonstrate their quirky skills. Tackleberry and his guns, voice commands with Hooks....do I really need to go through this again? The only new addition to the team this time is Thacker as Conklin from the previous film, as you may have already guessed his huge weight comes into effect for some visual gags.
This time around its actually the bad guys that save the day in my opinion. Usually its Harris and Proctor who are still good fun here but the trio of crooks are admittedly amusing. There is a really nice air of quality slapstick with these guys, especially the boss played by Rene Auberjonois whose obsession with his hair and nasal voice make for a perfect greasy bad guy. His two sidekicks are both kinda dumb and your standard heavy handed mobster types but there is a credible Three Stooges act going on there.
This doesn't excuse a lot of childish crap though, you know they are starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel when they actually use a fart in the elevator joke. Then there's the old drugged unconscious gag with Harris, setting his straw hat on fire, writing 'dork' on his chest with sunblock and a really nasty 'Jaws' send up.
The finale is yet again another chase sequence on water (clearly run out of ideas) with all the predictable stuff that you'd expect to see on water. Again it does look good as a visual spectacle as do most of the PA chase sequences, but its so very hollow and comes across more like a stunt man's show. Everything is tied up in a neat little bow with Lassard being allowed to carry on for another hundred years or so despite the fact he's useless and all is good with the world again.
Its very very bland and very very hokey, most of it is performed and filmed like an instructional video on how to make (attempt) slapstick, but from the third film onwards we know that don't we. Despite all that its a fairly enjoyable romp and is certainly better than the fourth film, at least we get a breath of fresh air with the location. I do like how they do the films titles each time though, quite like this one in particular.