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License to Drive (1988) Poster

Quotes

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Les: I am so dead they're going to have to bury me twice.

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Dean: Natalie! I was wondering, if you were driving 55 miles per hour and you collided with a runaway train, would it make ANY improvement on your face?

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Les: No thanks Dad, I already have a Mercedes.

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Miss Hellberg: Well, Mr. Anderson... We were able to retrieve your test results from the computer. And as I suppose you already know, YOU FAILED. God giveth, and the DMV taketh away. You mustn't fuck with the Department of Motor Vehicle. We can make your life a living hell.

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Mr. Anderson: We had a college fund set aside for you! That's gone now! You had free room and board, two trusting parents and a social life. All gone! You had a TV, a stereo, baseball, tennis racket, a skateboard, a bicycle - All gone! you even had sunlight and a window in your room!

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Mr. Anderson: You are damn lucky that your mother didn't go into labor tonight!

Mrs. Anderson: Robert!

Mr. Anderson: DAMN LUCKY!

Mrs. Anderson: ROBERT! I AM in labor!

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Les: [while chasing the drunk man in the Beatle car] I don't care what you say to the man just get him to pull over.

Charles: The man is a drunken lunatic don't you think this is a little bit dangerous.

Les: Your telling about dangerous, Charles you want to know whats dangerous. Me going home and having to explain to my father that this piece of shit is my Grandfather's Cadillac.

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Les' DMV Examiner: Last name first, first name last!

Les: Uh... Anderson... Les Anderson.

Les' DMV Examiner: Buckle up, son, it's the real world out here!

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Les' DMV Examiner: Driving instructor: Now Anderson, I want you to take a good look at my cup of coffee. Now, I LOVE my coffee. It's probably the only thing I cherish on this god forsaken mud ball called Earth! What I'm trying to say, Anderson, is that most examiners rely on this clipboard...

[throws the clipboard out the window]

Les' DMV Examiner: I don't believe in that shit. What I do believe is in my cup of coffee. Now this coffee is hot. If it falls on me it'll probably burn me, right? Speak up, son!

Les: Yes, yes!

Les' DMV Examiner: And nobody likes to get burned, now do they?

Les: No, no!

Les' DMV Examiner: So it's simple: You burn me, you fail. You don't, you pass.

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Les: An innocent girl, a harmless drive. What could possibly go wrong?

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Dean: Charles, you spasticated idiot.

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Dean: Les, that license in your wallet, that's not an ordinary piece of paper, that is a driver's license, and its not only a driver's license, it's an automobile license, and it's not only an automobile license, it's a license to live, a license to be free, a license to go wherever, whenever and with whomever you choose.

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Dean: If you're lucky she'll bite.

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Tow Truck Driver: [while Les is on the hood of the truck] Son I driven with deer, elk, and even bears strapped to the hood of this truck. So no 65 pound sack of shit is gonna shake me a hell a differnce.

Les: Listen mister I'll give you everything I got.

Tow Truck Driver: [driver stops and Les goes flying off the hood] Just how much you talking.

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Dean: Could you take the car out of neutral? We just got passed by a street sweeper.

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Mr. Anderson: Les. Can you tell me what size SHARK is responsible for this. No don't say anything, save it for the judge.

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Mr. Anderson: I'm making some room for the old boat. Want to help, Dean?

Dean: I'd love to, Mr. Anderson. But I just remembered.

[Pretends to cough]

Dean: I'm allergic to, uh...

[Thinks]

Dean: ...dust and cardboard boxes.

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Dean: Les, to live in fear is not to live at all.

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Dean: Get the juicehead to pull over.

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Dropout #1: Hey, dweebs! Does mommy hold your dicks when you piss?

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School Teacher: Mr. Anderson... It's punks like you that paramedics end up scraping off the road at four in the morning. For your sake, and the safety of others, I hope you fail your driving exam.

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Mr. Anderson: The last thing he's gonna be worried about is his car,

[opens the door to let grandpa in]

Mr. Anderson: Hi Dad.

Grandpa Anderson: Where's my Caddy?

Mr. Anderson: [grabs Les and puts him in front of him frightly] LES DID IT!

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Les: Hey dad, did you take a look at that brochure I gave you?

Mr. Anderson: Yeah.

Les: And what did you think?

Mr. Anderson: A 23,000 dollar BMW for a kid who hasn't had a job in his life... I think it's a great idea!

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Dean: Archie's come back! Come baaaaaaaaaaack!

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Les: I'm a free man!

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Les: While taking his license test, Les halts on a hill top, as instructed and the car behind him honks...

Les' DMV Examiner: What are you waiting for son, Christmas?

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Les: Les jams the breaks in order to prevent an accident and looks over at the instructor whose coffee cup lands in his crotch...

Les' DMV Examiner: You're in luck son... the cup... was empty...!

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Drunk Driver: Ooh, a Mazaratti, This ones much nicer than mine.

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Les: I'm with her!

Club Doorman: Boy, you wouldn't be with her if she was your Siamese twin. Now get lost.

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Miss Hellberg: Wait a minute. Stand back children, don't crowd me, I'm a living time bomb!

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Les' DMV Examiner: Buckle up, son! This is the real world out here!

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Charles: We're going to be locked up with men who murdered, and raped, and robbed convenience stores.

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Les: Not too bad for a kid without his license, huh?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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