Grant Cramer: Mike Tobacco
Debbie Stone : We were up at "the top of the world" and we saw this shooting star and we decided to go look for it. But instead of finding the shooting star we saw this... this circus tent. And that's when we went inside, and that is when we saw those people in those... those pink, cotton candy cocoons. Dave, it was not a circus tent. It was something else.
Dave Hanson : What? What?
Mike Tobacco : It was a space ship. And there was these things, these killer clowns, and they shot popcorn at us! We barely got away!
Curtis Mooney : Killer clowns, from outer space. Holy shit!
Mike Tobacco : Isn't this place great or what? It looks like it was decorated by Klowns R Us.
Mike Tobacco : [Mike and Debbie are inside the alien's "circus tent"] God, is this place great, or what? I mean, it looks like it was decorated by "Clowns R Us"!
Debbie Stone : [Feeling a little uneasy] I don't know...
Mike Tobacco : Hey, didn't you ever want to run away and join the circus?
Debbie Stone : I wanted to run *away* from the circus.
Mike Tobacco : How come?
Debbie Stone : When I was five years old, my mom and my dad took me to the circus for the first time. Lion tamers, acrobats, tightrope walkers... I guess they were okay. But then, this little car drove up... and stopped right in front of *me*. Out jumped this huge clown. He jumped over to me... he lifted me right up out of my seat. Everybody was laughing, even my parents. Then he threw me up on his shoulders and he... he ran me out in the center ring. And all the other clowns started dancing around me... honking their horns and squeaking their noses. Their cakey white faces, and yellow eyes and dingy teeth, were tormenting me. I was terrified. I will never forget those horrible smiling faces as long as I live. Ugh!
Mike Tobacco : Hey, don't worry. Nothing in here is going to hurt you.
Mike Tobacco : Paul, there's more important stuff to do than sell ice cream!