Die Hard (1988)
Bruce Willis: John McClane
John McClane : [huddled in an air vent, recalls his wife's invitation] "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."
Hans Gruber : [on the radio] Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
John McClane : Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans Gruber : Uh, no, I'm afraid not. But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
John McClane : Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really like those sequined shirts.
Hans Gruber : Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
John McClane : Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
John McClane : Welcome to the party, pal.
Dwayne T. Robinson : I've got a hundred people down here, and they're covered with glass.
John McClane : Glass? Who gives a shit about glass? Who the fuck is this?
Dwayne T. Robinson : This is Deputy Chief of Police, Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge of this situation.
John McClane : Oh, you're in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you *Dwayne*, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
Dwayne T. Robinson : You listen to me, you little asshole, I'm...
John McClane : Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*. Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the fucking problem and put the other guy back on!
Hans Gruber : [Hans' radio turns on] I thought I told all of you, I want radio silence until further...
John McClane : Ooooh, I'm very sorry Hans. I didn't get that message. Maybe you should've put it on the bulletin board. I figured since I've waxed Tony and Marco and his friend here, I figured you and Karl and Franco might be a little lonely, so I wanted to give you a call.
Karl : How does he know so much about th...
Hans Gruber : [silences Karl him with a gesture] That's very kind of you. I assume you are our mysterious party crasher. You are most troublesome, for a security guard.
John McClane : Eeeh! Sorry Hans, wrong guess. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?
[speaking to dead man about cigarettes]
John McClane : Whoa, these are very bad for you.
Hans Gruber : Who are you then?
John McClane : Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass.
John McClane : So that's is what this is about, Hans? A fucking robbery?
Hans Gruber : Put down the gun.
John McClane : Why'd you have to nuke the whole building, Hans?
Hans Gruber : Well, when you steal $600, you can just disappear. When you steal 600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already dead.
John McClane : [while crawling through a narrow ventilation shaft] Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.
Hans : The following people are to be released from their captors: In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec. In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement...
John McClane : [listening on the radio] What the fuck?
Karl : [mouthing silently] Asian Dawn?
Hans : [covers the radio] I read about them in Time magazine.
Hans Gruber : Touching, Cowboy, touching. Or should I call you, Mr. McClane? Mr. Officer John McClane of the New York Police Department?
Richard Thornburg : Get on the phone to Harry in New York. Come on, baby, move, move.
Thornburg's Assistant : Got it.
Sergeant Al Powell : Better get a hold of somebody in dispatch.
John McClane : Sister Teresa called me Mr. McClane in the third grade. My friends call me John, and you're neither, shit-head.
Hans Gruber : I have someone who wants to talk to you; a very special friend who was with you at the party tonight.
Harry Ellis : [Hans hands him the walkie talkie] Hey, John boy.
John McClane : Ellis?
Harry Ellis : Yeah. Now listen, John, they're giving me a few minutes to try to talk some sense into you. I know you think you're doing your job, John, and I can appreciate that, but, you're just dragging this thing out. Now look, no one gets outta here until these guys can talk to the *LA* police, and that just ain't gonna happen until you stop messin' up the works, capisci?
John McClane : Ellis, what have you told them?
Harry Ellis : I told 'em we were old friends and you were my guest at the party.
John McClane : Ellis, you shouldn't be doin' this.
Harry Ellis : Tell me about it. Alright, John, listen. They want you to tell them where the detonators are. They know people are listening. They want the detonators or they're gonna kill me.
Harry Ellis : John, didn't you hear me?
John McClane : Yeah, I hear you.
Harry Ellis : Hey, John, I think you can get with the program a little, huh? The police are here now, it's their problem. Now tell these guys where the detonators are so no one else gets hurt, you know I'm putting my life on the line for you, pal.
John McClane : Ellis, listen to me very carefully.
Harry Ellis : John?
John McClane : Shut up Ellis, just shut your mouth! Put Hans back on the line.
[Ellis holds the walkie talkie up]
John McClane : Hans, this shit-head does not know what kind of man you are, but I do. Listen to me!
Hans Gruber : Good. Then, you'll give us what we want and save your friend's life. You're not part of this equation this time, you realize that.
[presents his gun]
Harry Ellis : Hey, what am I, a method actor? Hans, babe, put away the gun, this is radio, not television.
John McClane : [nervously yelling] Hans, this asshole is not my friend, I just met him tonight, I don't know him. Jesus Christ, Ellis these people are gonna kill you, tell them, you don't know me.
Harry Ellis : John, how can you say that after all these years, huh? John?
[gets no response]
Harry Ellis : John?
[still gets no response, then laughs slightly, then Hans shoots him in the head]
Hans Gruber : [he puts the walkie talkie up to the screaming crowd, then yells into the walkie talkie] You hear that? Talk to me, where are my detonators? Where are they, or shall I shoot another one? Sooner or later, I might get to someone you *do* care about!
John McClane : Go fuck yourself, Hans.
John McClane : Who's driving this car, Stevie Wonder?
Sergeant Al Powell : [over radio] Hey, John? John McClane you still with us?
John McClane : Yeah. But all things being equal, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. Chalk up two more bad guys.
[Begins removing glass from foot]
Sergeant Al Powell : Well, the boys down here will be glad to hear that. You know we got a pool going on you.
John McClane : What kind of odds am I getting?
Sergeant Al Powell : You don't wanna know.
John McClane : Put me down for twenty, I'm good for it.
[pulls shard of glass from foot]
John McClane : . Hey pal, you got flat feet?
Sergeant Al Powell : What the hell you talking about, man.
John McClane : Something had to get you off the street.
Sergeant Al Powell : What's the matter? You don't think jockeying papers around a desk is a noble effort for a cop?
John McClane : No...
Sergeant Al Powell : I had an accident.
John McClane : The way you drive, I can see why. What'd you do? Run over your captains foot with the car?
Sergeant Al Powell : I shot a kid. He was 13 years old. Oh, it was dark, I couldn't see him, he had a ray gun, looked real enough. You know when you're a rookie they can teach you everything about being a cop, except how to live with a mistake. Anyway, I just couldn't bring myself to draw my gun on anyone again.
John McClane : ...Sorry man.
John McClane : Happy trails, Hans.
John McClane : [fighting Karl] You motherfucker, I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna fuckin' cook you, and I'm gonna fucking eat you!
John McClane : [John is fighting Karl] You should have heard your brother squeal when I broke his fucking neck.
John McClane : Geronimo, Motherfucker!
John McClane : [stealing Tony's shoes] Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.
John McClane : Son of a bitch! Fist with your toes.
Hans : [Hans uses McClane's gun and says something in an uninterpreted German on his CB Radio] Put down the gun, and give me my detonators.
John McClane : Well, well, well... Hans.
Hans : Put it down now.
John McClane : That's pretty tricky with that accent. You oughta be on fucking TV with that accent. But what do you want with the detonators, Hans? I already used all the explosives. Or did I?
Hans : I'm going to count to three...
John McClane : Yeah, like you did with Takagi?
John McClane : [Hans pulls trigger] Ooops.
[Hans pulls the trigger a few times more]
John McClane : No more bullets. What do you think, I'm fucking stupid, Hans?
Hans : [elevator opens] You were saying?
John McClane : [McClane watches fire trucks approach the building] C'mon baby, come ta' papa, I'll kiss ya' fuckin' dalmatian.
John McClane : [upon seeing Marco arrive, suspense music plays] Freeze m*th*rf*cker!
Marco : [panicking] Oh God! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
John McClane : Drop the gun!
Marco : [starts to do so] Ok! But don't shoot! Don't shoot!
John McClane : Put it on the ground!
Marco : [still doing so but very slowly] I know! But don't shoot! Don't shoot!
Heinrich : [music changes to a climatic theme as Heinrich comes in] Marco duck!
Marco : [John easily shoots Heinrich but Marco manages to take cover. John then hides under a long conference table]
[after a quick scene change Marco is on the table shooting it as he walks down it]
Marco : You a dog now. Where you going pal? Soon there will be no more table.
[empties his clip and jams a fresh one in]
Marco : Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don't hesitate.
[prepares to start shooting again when...]
John McClane : [fires upwards several times riddling Marco with bullets. Marco drops dead on the table with bullets and wood splinters in him] Thanks for the advice.
[the FBI shoots at McClane on the roof, thinking he's one of the terrorists]
John McClane : I'm on your side, you assholes!
John McClane : [When he drops a chair wired with C4 down an elevator shaft] Let's see you take *this* under advisement, jerkweed!
John McClane : [Tying fire hose around his waist] Oh, John, what the fuck are you doing? How the fuck did you get into this shit?
John McClane : [McClane, before jumping from the roof] I promise I will never even *think* about going up in a tall building again. Oh, God. Please don't let me die.
John McClane : But, all things being equal, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
Hans Gruber : [after bad guys hit police ram with rocket]
[in radio to bad guys]
Hans Gruber : Hit it, again.
John McClane : [in radio to Hans] Hans you motherfucker, you made your point! Let them pull back!
Hans Gruber : [in radio to McClaine] Thank you, Mr. Cowboy, I'll take it under advisement.
[to bad guys]
Hans Gruber : *Hit it, again.*
Businessman : You don't like flying, do you?
John McClane : What gives you that idea?
Businessman : You wanna know the secret to surviving air travel? After you get where you're going, take off your shoes and your socks then walk around on the rug bare foot and make fists with your toes.
John McClane : Fists with your toes?
Businessman : I know, I know, it sounds crazy. Trust me, I've been doing it for nine years. Yes sir, better than a shower and a hot cup of coffee.
John McClane : Okay.
[the businessman sees John's gun]
John McClane : It's okay, I'm a cop. Trust me, I've been doing this for eleven years.
John McClane : [after being kissed on the face by a stranger on a party] Jesus! Fuckin' California!
John McClane : [Getting out a pack of cigarettes] Do you smoke?
Hans Gruber : [while mimicing a hostage] Yeah.
[McClane hands him the pack of cigarettes]
Hans Gruber : Thanks. Now, you don't work for Nakatomi, and you're not one of them.
John McClane : I'm a cop from New York.
Hans Gruber : New York?
John McClane : Yeah. I got invited to the Christmas party by mistake. Who knew.
John McClane : Better being caught with your pants down, huh? I'm John McClane, and you are?
Hans Gruber : [Quickly thinks of a name which he got from a nearby Bulletin board] Clay. Bill Clay.
John McClane : [Takes out his handgun] You now how to use a handgun, Bill?
Hans Gruber : I spent a weekend at a combat ranch. You know where they shoot red paint, but it sounds stupid to you.
John McClane : Well, time for the real thing, Bill. All you gotta do is pull the trigger.
John McClane : These guys are mostly European judging by their clothing labels and...
John McClane : cigarettes. They're well-financed and very slick.
Sergeant Al Powell : Well, now, how do you know that?
John McClane : I've seen enough phony ID's in my time to recognize that the ones they got must have cost a fortune. Add all that up, I don't know what the fuck it means, but you got some bad-ass perpetrators and they're here to stay.
Sergeant Al Powell : I hear ya, partner. And L.A.'s finest are on it.
John McClane : [cops start coming towards the building] You macho assholes, no, no!
John McClane : [after entering the room where Gruber retains Holly] Hi, honey.