Whose Line Is It Anyway? (1988–1999)
Clive Anderson: Self - Host
Photos
Quotes
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Clive Anderson : This is me, Clive Anderson, saying "Good night," good night!
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Clive Anderson : [Superheroes, someone has just called out Useless Man] Oh, Caterpillar man! That gives you more to play with, because Useless Man... is kinda what he is. Now what sort of crisis will he have to deal with?
Person in the Audience : Pants are too small!
Clive Anderson : Funny thing... have we ever done that?
Greg Proops : If we have, I'm sure it was frought with hilarity!
Clive Anderson : So, with that challenge, let's go ahead. So pants are getting too small...
Greg Proops : Which one am I?
Clive Anderson : You're Captain Caterpilar.
Greg Proops : Captain Caterpilar.
Clive Anderson : And you can bring the elements of Captain Useless as well.
Greg Proops : Look, I'll be Captain Caterpilar and you can just sit there and be Useless Man like you usually are.
Clive Anderson : Oh, you're winning tonight, as I can see. So, you might metamorphose into something...
Greg Proops : Is it about time to make some sort of inappropriate American reference?
Clive Anderson : Not yet, you do the show.
Greg Proops : Thanks.
Clive Anderson : The yakker.
Greg Proops : I can take a few hits, if you want to...
Clive Anderson : Get on with it Greg!
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Clive Anderson : Hello, good evening, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway? The improvisation show with all the good taste of an American hamburger, with all the good sense of British beef.
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Clive Anderson : Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway?, the improvisation show which, if you haven't seen it before, is the very best programme on the television. Or, if you have seen it before, you know it's one where I start off with a very big lie.
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Greg Proops : When's it gonna end, huh? The aggression.
Clive Anderson : When you give us our colonies back.
Greg Proops : His colonies. Clive's colonies.
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Clive Anderson : Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? The improvisation show that has been compared to Titanic. Not the film, the sinking ship.
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Tony Slattery : [World's Worst things to see while flipping through channels] It's Anne Diamond!
Ryan Stiles : [in a trance] No, I won't turn the channel Satan
Greg Proops : [as an Alien] Citizens of Earth, remain in your homes
[cracking up]
Greg Proops : send me-
[buzz]
Ryan Stiles : They're nipples, identical nipples!
Mike McShane : It's the OJ Simpson trial, year 2550!
Greg Proops : [goes up as Clive, immediate buzz] OHHHH!
Mike McShane : Hi, welcome to the serial killer home shopping network, and look at these knives!
Tony Slattery : Oh, it's that show where Clive patronizes everyone!
Clive Anderson : Don't bring Clive James into this!
Tony Slattery : No, I meant Clive Anderson!
Mike McShane : It's the OJ Simpson trial- Hey, he's being defended by Clive Anderson! Ha!
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Clive Anderson : [Tony Slattery sits down to do the bar scene] Now, Tony is angry about something...
Josie Lawrence : [sarcastically] Oh, this will be clean.
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Clive Anderson : [Clive Anderson is picking a Superhero role for Colin Mochrie in the game "Superheroes". So far someone has suggested "Constipation Man"] I think we can be a bit more elevated than that.
Person in the Audience : No-Hair Man!
Clive Anderson : No-Hair Man...
[Colin Mochrie angrily walks towards the person in the audience]
