When Dan receives a $500 advance on a drywall job, everyone hopes there will be money left over for something extra for themselves. When it turns out that, after the bills are paid, there will barely be enough left to buy one thing, Dan and Roseanne each buy themselves a luxury item on the sly. Darlene is scolded for lying, but they each ask her to hide the truth about something.
Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic dinner date out, and run into an old friend that they were unaware had been divorced. When they learn that her divorce was because her husband refused to allow her to follow a dream, that Roseanne inspired, Dan wonders if Roseanne will grow to feel the same way. When Jackie is late for baby-sitting, Becky is allowed to cover, much to the delight of the kids.
While making his famous chili, Dan awaits a phone call about a badly-needed construction job, and has to run Jackie off the phone. Dan expresses his annoyance with Jackie always being over at their house to Roseanne, but while Dan and Roseanne are taking a relationship test in the back of a teen magazine for fun, his annoyances about Jackie come to the surface in front of her. When she comments that he wouldn't even notice so much if he had a job, Dan is pushed too far. Darlene is making a castle for extra credit because she is flunking History, but D.J. accidentally ...
Roseanne wants Dan to enter a country music song-writing contest sponsored by the local radio station. Dan is reluctant to do so until he finds out that the grand prize is a hundred dollars. Unable to come up with a new idea, and not pleased with anything he wrote in the past, Dan chooses one of Roseanne's old poems to put to music. Sexual tension between Jackie and Booker heat up in the workplace. Becky and Darlene are at each other's throats.
Roseanne talks Booker and the women from work into going bowling. Becky gets dolled up for the night out, because she has a first crush on a boy from her school that works at the bowling alley, but is mortified at the thought of being embarrassed by her parents. Jackie and Booker make a "friendly" wager involving a sleepover vs. toilet bowl scrubbing.
Dan hires a photographer to take a family portrait at the house for an upcoming high school reunion. Everyone is dressed up and posed when Jackie lets the cat out of the bag about a fling Dan had back in high school with Roseanne's nemesis.
Upset because she got dumped again, and certain she will never find a good man, Crystal turns to Roseanne and Jackie for support and advice. Booker turns down a date with Jackie because his "Mother" is in town, and turns up at the Lobo Lounge with another woman. Jackie decides not to turn the other cheek. Praying for a snow day, Darlene procrastinates doing a book report she has to turn in the next day.
The kids plan a birthday breakfast for their Dad. Roseanne plans a birthday bash for Dan at the Lobo Lounge. What starts out as a great party, soon turn sour, when a drunken bar patron picks a fight with Dan over use of the pool table. A furious Roseanne prevents Dan from brawling with the bruiser, leaving Dan humiliated and angry. Becky is nervous about meeting and having diner with her boyfriend's parents.
Dan plans to spend another Saturday working on his truck in which more drinking with friends gets done than any actual work. Roseanne is fed up and bets Dan he can't get the truck fixed by the end of the afternoon. If she's right, he has to take over all oven-cleaning duties; if Roseanne's wrong, she has to take over all snow-shoveling duties. Meanwhile, Dan's drinking buddy Dwight tries his hardest to impress a disinterested Jackie.
Roseanne and Dan clash over what will be donated to a charity drive. Dan has trouble letting go of his stuff, so he plots ways to keep it. Darlene is worried about a bad grade on her report card getting her into trouble, so she plots to conceal the truth from her parents. Jackie is upset with Booker for nearly standing her up... again.
Darlene is discovering that her job delivering newspapers is not the easy way to make money she thought it would be. Roseanne and Dan each try to plan a second honeymoon, and disagree on which one they should take, leaving Jackie to step in and save the day. Becky is stuck with a moral dilemma at school.
After Dan and the kids stay up late watching a horror movie, Roseanne must contend with a terrified Darlene keeping her up all night but soon learns there's more going on with her growing daughter than simple night terrors.
Roseanne's hospitality bites her in the behind when a door-to-door salesman she lets in the house dies in their kitchen and the family must contend with the corpse all day until the coroner can arrive.
A firm, no-nonsense supervisor takes charge at Wellman's, demanding a quota of 8,000 units. Roseanne, Jackie and all the women feel it's a tough load to handle. However, the boss will come down on his demands if Roseanne can swallow her pride and be humane.