The Untouchables (1987)
Malone: [talking privately in a church] You said you wanted to get Capone. Do you really wanna get him? You see what I'm saying is, what are you prepared to do?
Ness: Anything within the law.
Malone: And *then* what are you prepared to do? If you open the can on these worms you must be prepared to go all the way. Because they're not gonna give up the fight, until one of you is dead.
Ness: I want to get Capone! I don't know how to do it.
Malone: You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way! And that's how you get Capone. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I'm offering you a deal. Do you want this deal?
Ness: I have sworn to capture this man with all legal powers at my disposal and I will do so.
Malone: Well, the Lord hates a coward.
[jabs Ness with his hand, and Ness shakes it]
Malone: Do you know what a blood oath is, Mr. Ness?
Malone: Good, 'cause you just took one.
Scoop: Word is they're going to repeal Prohibition. What'll you do then?
Ness: [jokingly] I think I'll have a drink.
Capone: [to his henchmen after Ness and his team intercepted his shipment of liquor from Canada] I want you to get this fuck where he breathes! I want you to find this nancy-boy Eliot Ness, I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna PISS ON HIS ASHES!
Malone: [at the police training academy] Why do you want to join the force?
George Stone: To protect the property and citizenry of...
Malone: Ah, don't waste my time with that bullshit. Where you from, Stone?
George Stone: I'm from the south-side.
Malone: Stone. George Stone. That's your name? What's your real name?
George Stone: That is my real name.
Malone: Nah. What was it before you changed it?
George Stone: Giuseppe Petri.
Malone: Ah, I knew it. That's all you need, one thieving wop on the team.
George Stone: Hey, what's that you say?
Malone: I said that you're a lying member of a no good race.
George Stone: [He cuffs Stone across the face. As he draws back his arm again, Stone presses a gun under his chin] Much better than you, you stinking Irish shit pig.
Malone: Oh, I like him.
Ness: [Ness looking a bit nervous and Malone smiling at Stone] Yeah I like him too.
Malone: [to Ness on the walkway underneath a bridge] You just fulfilled the first rule of law enforcement: make sure when your shift is over you go home alive. Here endeth the lesson.
George Stone: [after Ness has pushed Nitti off the roof and gone back in the courthouse] Where is Nitti?
Ness: He's in the car.
Malone: Why do you want to be a police officer?
Williamson: To protect the... people and the... p...
Malone: I'm not looking for the "yearbook" answer. Why do you want to join the force.
Williamson: The force?
Malone: Yeah, why do you want to join the force.
Williamson: Because... I...
Williamson: ...think I could help.
Malone: You think you could help.
Williamson: ...with the force.
Malone: Thank you very much, you've been most helpful.
Malone: [to Ness] There goes the next chief of police.
Ness: [referring to Malone] I'm going to see you burn, you son of a bitch, because you killed my friend!
Frank Nitti: He died like a pig.
Ness: What did you say?
Frank Nitti: I said your friend died screaming like a stuck Irish pig. Now you think about that when I beat the rap.
[He runs a comb through his hair and walks toward the door. Ness, enraged, grabs him from behind and pushes him past the door]
Frank Nitti: Hey... hey!
[Ness propels him toward the ledge]
Frank Nitti: *Hey!
[Ness pushes him off the roof. He falls, screaming]
Ness: Did he sound anything like *that*?
Malone: [on the walkway underneath a bridge] OK, pal, why the mahaska? Why are you carrying the gun?
Ness: I'm a treasury officer.
Malone: Alright. Just remember what we talked about now.
[Malone walks away]
Ness: Hey, wait a minute! What the hell kind of policemen you got in this god damn city? You just turned your back on an armed man.
Malone: You're a treasury officer.
Ness: How do you know that? I just told you that.
Malone: Who would claim to be that who was not? Hmm?
Malone: [to Ness while they wait in a cabin for Capone's shipment of liquor coming through Canada] Don't wait for it to happen. Don't even want it to happen. Just watch what does happen.
Malone: [to Ness as they assemble their team] If you're afraid of getting a rotten apple, don't go to the barrel. Get it off the tree.
Capone: [to the members of his crime family] A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms... What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork... Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don't field... what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I'm goin' out there for myself. But... I get nowhere unless the team wins.
[Capone beats one of the men to death with a baseball bat]
Mountie Captain: [under the impression Malone shot a man in the mouth while he was still alive] I do not approve of your methods!
Ness: Yeah, well... You're not from Chicago.
Bowtie Driver: [while on the main stairway inside the train station] Me and the bookkeeper are walking out of here, getting into a car, and driving away. Or else he dies! He dies! And you ain't got nothing! You got five seconds to make up your minds!
Ness: You got him?
George Stone: Yeah, I got him.
Bowtie Driver: [Bowtie starts counting off five seconds] One!
Ness: Take him.
George Stone: [Stone shoots him] Two!
Capone: [to reporters] I'm gonna tell you something. Somebody messes with me, I'm gonna mess with with him. Somebody steals from me, I'm gonna say you stole. Not talk to him for spitting on the sidewalk. Understand? Now, I have done nothing to harm these people but they are angered with me, so what do they do, doctor up some income tax, for which they have no case. To speak to me like me, no, to harass a peaceful man. I pray to god if I ever had a grievance I'd have a little more self respect. One more thing, you have an all out prize fight, you wait until the fight is over, one guy is left standing. And that's how you know who won.
Malone: [upon meeting each other for the first time] You, you carry a badge?
Agent Oscar Wallace: Yes?
Malone: [gives him a shotgun] Carry a gun.
Malone: [to Capone's bookmaker with Oscar and Ness present inside the cabin on the Canadian countryside] You're muckin' with a G here, pal!
Ness: [in court] Never stop, never stop fighting till the fight is done.
Capone: What'd you say? What're you saying?
Ness: I said, "Never stop fighting till the fight is done."
Ness: You heard me, Capone. It's over.
Capone: [sneering] Get out, you're nothing but a lot of talk and a badge.
Ness: Here endeth the lesson.
Ness: [Ness has just shot a gangster after the Canadian border raid while they stand outside the cabin] I had to kill him.
Malone: Oh, yeah. He's as dead as Julius Caesar... Would you rather it was you?
Ness: No, I would not.
Malone: Well, then, you've done your job. Go home and sleep well tonight.
Ness: I have foresworn myself. I have broken every law I have sworn to uphold, I have become what I beheld and I am content that I have done right!
Capone: [to reporters] You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.
Capone: [to reporters] People are gonna drink! You know that, I know that, we all know that, and all I do is act on that. And all this talk of bootlegging - what is bootlegging? On a boat, it's bootlegging. On Lake Shore Drive, it's hospitality. I'm a businessman!
Malone: [holding him against the window of the cabin in Canada] You're gonna talk, pal. You're gonna beg to talk. Because somebody's going to talk!
[walks out of the shack, and holds the dead body of a gangster Ness shot]
Malone: Hey you, on your feet! We need you to translate this book! And I'm not going to ask you a second time! I'm gonna count to three.
[places gun in the gangster's mouth]
Malone: What's the matter? Can't you talk with a gun in your mouth? One... two... THREE!
George: [screams] Don't! Okay! I'm going to talk! I'll tell you whatever you want! What do you want to know?
Mrs. Blackmer: [showing up unannounced to his office] I came here to thank you. It was my little girl that got killed with that bomb.
Ness: I'm sorry, please. I'm so sorry.
Mrs. Blackmer: You see it's because I know that you have children too... and that this is real for you, that these men caused this tragedy. And I know that you will put a stop to them. I know you'll do that now.
Malone: [after a plan intercepting Capone's shipment of liquor through Canada goes wrong] Oh what the hell? You gotta die of something.
District Attorney: [when the Judge announces the switch of jury] What did you tell him?
Ness: I told him his name is in the ledger too.
[Close-up of the Judge, staring daggers at Ness from the bench]
District Attorney: His name wasn't in the ledger...
Ness: [looking at a gold chain Malone is holding while they celebrate after a successful liquor raid] What is that?
Malone: Ah, I'm among the heathen. That is my call box key, and that... is my St. Jude medallion.
Ness: Saint who?
George Stone: Santo Jude. The patron saint of lost causes.
Malone: And policemen.
Ness: Well, which are we, gentlemen - policemen, or lost causes?
Bodyguard: [Ness confronts Capone] Something you want here?
Ness: [referring to Oscar Wallace] My friend was killed today.
Bodyguard: I don't care.
Ness: You don't care.
[Ness punches the bodyguard in the nose, knocking him to the ground]
Ness: Now he does.
Ness: Come on here, Capone. You want to fight? You and me, right here? That's it, come on! What's the matter? You afraid to come out from behind your men, you afraid to stand up for yourself?
Capone: You want to do it now? You want to do the mat now?
Ness: Yeah! Come on, you guinea son of a bitch!
Capone: What? You talk to me like that in front of my son? Fuck you and your family!
[Ness goes for his gun, while all of Capone's men pull out there guns and point them at Ness]
Frank Nitti: [taunting Ness as he holds onto a rope from the edge of the roof of the courthouse] Come on Mr. Treasury man, ARREST ME!
Malone: [firing his gun to stop a suspect from running from away from him in the Canadian countryside] All right! Enough of this running shit!
Title Card: 1930. Prohibition has transformed Chicago into a City at War. Rival gangs compete for control of the city's billion dollar empire of illegal alcohol, enforcing their will with the hand grenade and tommy gun. It is the time of the Ganglords. It is the time of Al Capone.
Reporter: [to Al Capone] An article, which I believe appeared in a newspaper, asked why, since you are, or it would seem that you are, in effect, the mayor of Chicago, you've not simply been appointed to that position.
[other reporters laugh]
Capone: Well, I'll tell ya, you know, it's touching. Like a lot of things in life, we laugh because it's funny and we laugh because it's true. Now, some people will say - reformers, they'll say, 'Put that man in jail! What does he think he is doing?' Well, what I hope I'm doing, and here's where your English paper's got a point, is - I'm responding to the will of the people.
Malone: [stopping at a post office] Well, here we are.
Ness: What are we doing here?
Malone: Liquor raid.
Ness: [looking at the police station across the street] Here?
Malone: Mr. Ness, everybody knows where the booze is. The problem isn't finding it, the problem is who wants to cross Capone.
Judge: [after Ness has discovered Capone bribed the jury to acquit him] Bailiff, I want you to go next door to Judge Hawton's court, where they've just begun hearing a divorce action. I want you to bring that jury in here, and take this jury to his court. Bailiff, are those instructions clear?
Bailiff: [puzzled] Yes, sir, they're... clear...
Capone: [to his attorney] What's he talking about? What is it?
Judge: Bailiff, I want you to switch the juries.
Bailiff: Yes sir.
Defense Attorney: Your honor, I object!
Ness: I wanna hurt the man, Malone. You hear me? I wanna start taking the battle to him. I wanna hurt Capone!
Scoop: Mr. Ness! Any comment for the record?
Ness: I just happened to be there when the wheel went round.
Ness: [confronting Capone at the entrance to a hotel] Come on Capone! You wanna fight? You wanna settle it right now? Right here? Let's go!
Capone: Listen to me here! You ain't got nothin' on me, nothin'! You're just a cop! Fuck you and your family!
Ness: Fuh... know what?
[Ness goes to pull his gun, Capone's goons pull their guns and point them at Ness]
Malone: Not now Eliot, not now.
[Malone grabs Ness]
Capone: [to reporters] When you got an all-out prizefight, you wait until the fight is over, one guy is left standing. 'N' that's how you know who won.
Ness: [Ness has just dismissed the rest of the team from his office] We have several operations in the works, so we're rather busy, Alderman. What can we do for you?
Alderman: I came up to congratulate you on a job well done. Share your good fortune on such a lovely day.
[Drops bribe envelope on the desk]
Ness: What's that?
[shrugs and makes a giggle sound]
Ness: What is that.
Alderman: Mr. Ness, you're an educated man. Let me pay you the compliment of being blunt. There's a large, a large and popular business that you are causing dismay. Why don't you just cross the street and let things take their course.
Ness: [Summoning the team] Would you come in here please?
[as the team enters]
Ness: In roman times, when a when a fellow was convicted of trying to bribe a public official, they would cut off his nose, and sew him in a bag with a wild animal, and throw him in a river.
[picking up the bribe and throwing it at Alderman]
Ness: You tell your master that we must agree to disagree!
Alderman: You're making a mistake.
Ness: Yeah I know, well I've made them before I'm beginning to enjoy them.
Alderman: You fellows are untouchable, is that the thing? No one can get to you? Hey, everyone can be gotten to.
Ness: [speaking over Alderman and throwing him out] You tell Capone, that I'll see him in hell.
Hoods: [while on the main stairway inside the train station] You got 5 seconds to make up your minds
Ness: You got him?
George Stone: Yeah I got him
Ness: Take him
[Stone shoots, the Hood drops with blood coming out of his mouth]
George Stone: Two
Malone: [Mike is unwilling to disclose the information of Walter Payne] I need to know where this guy is! And I need to know NOW! Or I'm gonna rat you out for all the shit I know that you've done in your life! I'm going to turn you over!
Police Chief Mike Dorsett: [icily] This is a dead man talking to me, Jimmy.
Malone: Is it?
Police Chief Mike Dorsett: [muttering] You're dead.
[they fight until Mike gets the upper hand]
Police Chief Mike Dorsett: Who the hell do you think you are? I'll have your ass hanging from a flagpole in the morning!
Malone: [Malone kicks Mike in the groin, pins him to a wall and point his gun at him] Let's cut the wolfing, pal! You tell me, or you're going to the hospital or the fucking morgue!
Malone: [Ness and Malone are at the training academy looking for new recruits for their special "Untouchables" unit, Stone approaches and Malone asks him while looking down at his clipboard] Why do you want to join the force?
George Stone: To protect the property and the citizenry of the city...
Malone: [interrupts, annoyed] Oh, please, don't waste my time with that bullshit...
[he looks up and sees Stone for the first time, noticing his dark complexion and slick black hair]
Malone: Where are you from, Stone?
George Stone: From the south side.
Malone: [clarifying] "Stone"? "George Stone"? That's your name? What's your *real* name?
George Stone: That is my real name.
Malone: Nah. What was it before you changed it?
George Stone: [long uncomfortable pause and then] Giuseppe Petri.
Malone: [turns to Ness] Jeez, I knew it! That's all you need is one thieving wop on the team!
George Stone: [stunned and offended but remaining calm, Stone pats him coolly on the back to get his attention] Hey...
[Malone turns back around to face him]
George Stone: What's that you said?
Malone: [poking him belligerently in the chest with his clipboard] I said that you're a lying member of a no-good race.
George Stone: [Stone angrily slaps the clipboard out of his hands; Malone goes for a melee weapon on his person but Stone already has his revolver pointed right under Malone's chin and fiercely says to him] It's much better than you, you stinkin' Irish pig.
Malone: [suddenly Malone is quite amused, saying to Ness] Oh, I like him.
Ness: [nervously] Yeah, I like him, too.
Malone: [Stone draws back his weapon and Malone says to him] You just joined the treasury department, son.
George Stone: [both smile and shake hands] Yeah, okay.
[Malone, dying of multiple gunshot wounds, reaches for something on the floor]
Ness: What? What do you want? This?
[Ness grabs Malone's St. Jude medallion and hands it to him, but Malone throws it aside and reaches for a railway timetable]
Malone: [pointing, wheezing] Book... book...
Ness: The bookkeeper?
Malone: Bookkeeper! Now... *what are you prepared to do?*
Ness: [after blowing away a crook who wouldn't "Freeze!" inside the cabin on the Canadian countryside] Didn't you hear what I said? What are you, deaf? What is this, a game?
Malone: [to Ness] Welcome to Chicago.This town stinks like a whorehouse at low tide.
Malone: Isn't that just like a wop.
Hoods: [He starts backing away from Malone]
Malone: Brings a knife to a gun fight.
Hoods: [He backs away faster]
Malone: Get outta here you Dago Bastard!
Hoods: [He runs out the door of Malone's home]
Malone: Go on get your ass outta here!
Ness: [to his men while he rides on a snow plow truck] All right now, let's do some good!
Malone: [On a liquor raid. With his hand on the door] If you walk through this door now, you're walking into a world of trouble. And there's no turning back. You understand?
Ness: [Nods] Yes I do.
[Pumps his shotgun]
Ness: Get me that ax.
Malone: [Repeated line to Ness] what are you prepared to do?
Bartender: That green beer you're peddlin' just ain't any good.
Bowtie Driver: It ain't supposed to be good! It's supposed to be bought.
Bartender: I ain't buyin'.
Bowtie Driver: Don't worry about it, pops! We won't come back.
Capone: [to reporters] Yes! There is violence in Chicago. But not by me, and not by anybody who works for me, and I'll tell you why because it's bad for business.
Malone: [Enters the liquor cache and fires into the air] Federal officers!
Ness: Get your hands in the air! Nobody move!
Malone: This is a raid!
Ness: Everybody into the center of the room!
Baseball Bat Victim: What are you doing here?
Malone: All this stuff is impounded! You're all under arrest!
Baseball Bat Victim: Hey, this isn't right! Hey, this is no good!
[Points at Malone's face]
Baseball Bat Victim: You got a warrant?
Malone: Sure, here's my warrant!
[Punches him twice in the stomach. He collapses]
Malone: How do you think he feels now? Better? Or worse?