The Untouchables (1987) Poster

Kevin Costner: Eliot Ness



  • Malone : [talking privately in a church]  You said you wanted to get Capone. Do you really wanna get him? You see what I'm saying is, what are you prepared to do?

    Ness : Anything within the law.

    Malone : And *then* what are you prepared to do? If you open the can on these worms you must be prepared to go all the way. Because they're not gonna give up the fight, until one of you is dead.

    Ness : I want to get Capone! I don't know how to do it.

    Malone : You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. *That's* the *Chicago* way! And that's how you get Capone. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I'm offering you a deal. Do you want this deal?

    Ness : I have sworn to capture this man with all legal powers at my disposal and I will do so.

    Malone : Well, the Lord hates a coward.

    [jabs Ness with his hand, and Ness shakes it] 

    Malone : Do you know what a blood oath is, Mr. Ness?

    Ness : Yes.

    Malone : Good, 'cause you just took one.

  • [last lines] 

    Scoop : Word is they're going to repeal Prohibition. What'll you do then?

    Ness : [jokingly]  I think I'll have a drink.

  • Malone : [at the police training academy]  Why do you want to join the force?

    George Stone : To protect the property and citizenry of...

    Malone : Ah, don't waste my time with that bullshit. Where you from, Stone?

    George Stone : I'm from the south-side.

    Malone : Stone. George Stone. That's your name? What's your real name?

    George Stone : That is my real name.

    Malone : Nah. What was it before you changed it?

    George Stone : Giuseppe Petri.

    Malone : Ah, I knew it. That's all you need, one thieving wop on the team.

    George Stone : Hey, what's that you say?

    Malone : I said that you're a lying member of a no good race.

    George Stone : [He cuffs Stone across the face. As he draws back his arm again, Stone presses a gun under his chin]  Much better than you, you stinking Irish shit pig.

    Malone : Oh, I like him.

    Ness : [Ness looking a bit nervous and Malone smiling at Stone]  Yeah I like him too.

  • George Stone : [after Ness has pushed Nitti off the roof and gone back in the courthouse]  Where is Nitti?

    Ness : He's in the car.

  • Ness : [referring to Malone]  I'm going to see you burn, you son of a bitch, because you killed my friend!

    Frank Nitti : He died like a pig.

    Ness : What did you say?

    Frank Nitti : I said your friend died screaming like a stuck Irish pig. Now you think about that when I beat the rap.

    [He runs a comb through his hair and walks toward the door. Ness, enraged, grabs him from behind and pushes him past the door] 

    Frank Nitti : Hey... hey!

    [Ness propels him toward the ledge] 

    Frank Nitti : *Hey!

    [Ness pushes him off the roof. He falls, screaming] 

    Ness : Did he sound anything like *that*?

  • Malone : [on the walkway underneath a bridge]  OK, pal, why the mahaska? Why are you carrying the gun?

    Ness : I'm a treasury officer.

    Malone : Alright. Just remember what we talked about now.

    [Malone walks away] 

    Ness : Hey, wait a minute! What the hell kind of policemen you got in this god damn city? You just turned your back on an armed man.

    Malone : You're a treasury officer.

    Ness : How do you know that? I just told you that.

    Malone : Who would claim to be that who was not? Hmm?

  • Bowtie Driver : [while on the main stairway inside the train station]  Me and the bookkeeper are walking out of here, getting into a car, and driving away. Or else he dies! He dies! And you ain't got nothing! You got five seconds to make up your minds!

    Ness : You got him?

    George Stone : Yeah, I got him.

    Bowtie Driver : [Bowtie starts counting off five seconds]  One!

    Ness : Take him.

    George Stone : [Stone shoots him]  Two!

  • Mountie Captain : [under the impression Malone shot a man in the mouth while he was still alive]  I do not approve of your methods!

    Ness : Yeah, well... You're not from Chicago.

  • Ness : [Ness has just shot a gangster after the Canadian border raid while they stand outside the cabin]  I had to kill him.

    Malone : Oh, yeah. He's as dead as Julius Caesar... Would you rather it was you?

    Ness : No, I would not.

    Malone : Well, then, you've done your job. Go home and sleep well tonight.

  • Ness : I have foresworn myself. I have broken every law I have sworn to uphold, I have become what I beheld and I am content that I have done right!

  • Ness : [in court]  Never stop, never stop fighting till the fight is done.

    Capone : What'd you say? What're you saying?

    Ness : I said, "Never stop fighting till the fight is done."

    Capone : What?

    Ness : You heard me, Capone. It's over.

    Capone : [sneering]  Get out, you're nothing but a lot of talk and a badge.

    Ness : Here endeth the lesson.

  • Mrs. Blackmer : [showing up unannounced to his office]  I came here to thank you. It was my little girl that got killed with that bomb.

    Ness : I'm sorry, please. I'm so sorry.

    Mrs. Blackmer : You see it's because I know that you have children too... and that this is real for you, that these men caused this tragedy. And I know that you will put a stop to them. I know you'll do that now.

  • District Attorney : [when the Judge announces the switch of jury]  What did you tell him?

    Ness : I told him his name is in the ledger too.

    [Close-up of the Judge, staring daggers at Ness from the bench] 

    District Attorney : His name wasn't in the ledger...

  • Ness : [looking at a gold chain Malone is holding while they celebrate after a successful liquor raid]  What is that?

    Malone : Ah, I'm among the heathen. That is my call box key, and that... is my St. Jude medallion.

    Ness : Saint who?

    George Stone : Santo Jude. The patron saint of lost causes.

    Malone : And policemen.

    Ness : Well, which are we, gentlemen - policemen, or lost causes?

  • Bodyguard : [Ness confronts Capone]  Something you want here?

    Ness : [referring to Oscar Wallace]  My friend was killed today.

    Bodyguard : I don't care.

    Ness : You don't care.

    [Ness punches the bodyguard in the nose, knocking him to the ground] 

    Ness : Now he does.

    [to Capone] 

    Ness : Come on here, Capone. You want to fight? You and me, right here? That's it, come on! What's the matter? You afraid to come out from behind your men, you afraid to stand up for yourself?

    Capone : You want to do it now? You want to do the mat now?

    Ness : Yeah! Come on, you guinea son of a bitch!

    Capone : What? You talk to me like that in front of my son? Fuck you and your family!

    Ness : Fu...

    [Ness goes for his gun, while all of Capone's men pull out there guns and point them at Ness] 

  • Malone : [stopping at a post office]  Well, here we are.

    Ness : What are we doing here?

    Malone : Liquor raid.

    Ness : [looking at the police station across the street]  Here?

    Malone : Mr. Ness, everybody knows where the booze is. The problem isn't finding it, the problem is who wants to cross Capone.

  • Ness : [Ness has just dismissed the rest of the team from his office]  We have several operations in the works, so we're rather busy, Alderman. What can we do for you?

    Alderman : I came up to congratulate you on a job well done. Share your good fortune on such a lovely day.

    [Drops bribe envelope on the desk] 

    Ness : What's that?

    [shrugs and makes a giggle sound] 

    Ness : What is that.

    Alderman : Mr. Ness, you're an educated man. Let me pay you the compliment of being blunt. There's a large, a large and popular business that you are causing dismay. Why don't you just cross the street and let things take their course.

    Ness : [Summoning the team]  Would you come in here please?

    [as the team enters] 

    Ness : In roman times, when a when a fellow was convicted of trying to bribe a public official, they would cut off his nose, and sew him in a bag with a wild animal, and throw him in a river.

    [picking up the bribe and throwing it at Alderman] 

    Ness : You tell your master that we must agree to disagree!

    Alderman : You're making a mistake.

    Ness : Yeah I know, well I've made them before I'm beginning to enjoy them.

    Alderman : You fellows are untouchable, is that the thing? No one can get to you? Hey, everyone can be gotten to.

    Ness : [speaking over Alderman and throwing him out]  You tell Capone, that I'll see him in hell.

  • Hoods : [while on the main stairway inside the train station]  You got 5 seconds to make up your minds

    Ness : You got him?

    George Stone : Yeah I got him

    Hoods : 1...

    Ness : Take him

    [Stone shoots, the Hood drops with blood coming out of his mouth] 

    George Stone : Two

  • Malone : [Ness and Malone are at the training academy looking for new recruits for their special "Untouchables" unit, Stone approaches and Malone asks him while looking down at his clipboard]  Why do you want to join the force?

    George Stone : To protect the property and the citizenry of the city...

    Malone : [interrupts, annoyed]  Oh, please, don't waste my time with that bullshit...

    [he looks up and sees Stone for the first time, noticing his dark complexion and slick black hair] 

    Malone : Where are you from, Stone?

    George Stone : From the south side.

    Malone : [clarifying]  "Stone"? "George Stone"? That's your name? What's your *real* name?

    George Stone : That is my real name.

    Malone : Nah. What was it before you changed it?

    George Stone : [long uncomfortable pause and then]  Giuseppe Petri.

    Malone : [turns to Ness]  Jeez, I knew it! That's all you need is one thieving wop on the team!

    George Stone : [stunned and offended but remaining calm, Stone pats him coolly on the back to get his attention]  Hey...

    [Malone turns back around to face him] 

    George Stone : What's that you said?

    Malone : [poking him belligerently in the chest with his clipboard]  I said that you're a lying member of a no-good race.

    George Stone : [Stone angrily slaps the clipboard out of his hands; Malone goes for a melee weapon on his person but Stone already has his revolver pointed right under Malone's chin and fiercely says to him]  It's much better than you, you stinkin' Irish pig.

    Malone : [suddenly Malone is quite amused, saying to Ness]  Oh, I like him.

    Ness : [nervously]  Yeah, I like him, too.

    Malone : [Stone draws back his weapon and Malone says to him]  You just joined the treasury department, son.

    George Stone : [both smile and shake hands]  Yeah, okay.

  • [Malone, dying of multiple gunshot wounds, reaches for something on the floor] 

    Ness : What? What do you want? This?

    [Ness grabs Malone's St. Jude medallion and hands it to him, but Malone throws it aside and reaches for a railway timetable] 

    Malone : [pointing, wheezing]  Book... book...

    Ness : The bookkeeper?

    Malone : Bookkeeper! Now... *what are you prepared to do?*

    [Malone dies] 

  • Ness : I wanna hurt the man, Malone. You hear me? I wanna start taking the battle to him. I wanna hurt Capone!

  • Scoop : Mr. Ness! Any comment for the record?

    Ness : I just happened to be there when the wheel went round.

  • Ness : [confronting Capone at the entrance to a hotel]  Come on Capone! You wanna fight? You wanna settle it right now? Right here? Let's go!

    Capone : Listen to me here! You ain't got nothin' on me, nothin'! You're just a cop! Fuck you and your family!

    Ness : Fuh... know what?

    [Ness goes to pull his gun, Capone's goons pull their guns and point them at Ness] 

    Malone : Not now Eliot, not now.

    [Malone grabs Ness] 

  • Ness : So much violence...

  • Ness : [after blowing away a crook who wouldn't "Freeze!" inside the cabin on the Canadian countryside]  Didn't you hear what I said? What are you, deaf? What is this, a game?

  • Ness : [to his men while he rides on a snow plow truck]  All right now, let's do some good!

  • Malone : [On a liquor raid. With his hand on the door]  If you walk through this door now, you're walking into a world of trouble. And there's no turning back. You understand?

    Ness : [Nods]  Yes I do.

    [Pumps his shotgun] 

    Ness : Good.


    Ness : Get me that ax.

  • Malone : First, who can you trust?

    [Ness starts to answer but Malone interrupts him] 

    Malone : Nobody. The cops, nobody. 'Cause nobody wants you here.

    Ness : Then why are you helping me?

    Malone : Because I swore to uphold the law. And if you believe that, I'll tell you another. Now, who can you trust?

    Ness : [resigned]  I can trust nobody.

    Malone : That's the sorry truth.

  • Malone : [Enters the liquor cache and fires into the air]  Federal officers!

    Ness : Get your hands in the air! Nobody move!

    Malone : This is a raid!

    Ness : Everybody into the center of the room!

    Baseball Bat Victim : What are you doing here?

    Malone : All this stuff is impounded! You're all under arrest!

    Baseball Bat Victim : Hey, this isn't right! Hey, this is no good!

    [Points at Malone's face] 

    Baseball Bat Victim : You got a warrant?

    Malone : Sure, here's my warrant!

    [Punches him twice in the stomach. He collapses] 

    Malone : How do you think he feels now? Better? Or worse?

See also

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