Throw Momma from the Train (1987)

Anne Ramsey: Momma Lift

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Momma sees Larry for the first time] 

  Momma : Who's this?

  Owen : This is Cousin Paddy. He's coming to stay with us a while. Isn't that nice?

  Momma : [suspiciously]  You don't *have* a "Cousin Paddy".

  Owen : [to Larry]  You lied to me!

  [Owen knocks Larry out with a frying pan to the head] 

• Momma : Who the HELL are you?

  Larry : I'm Owen's friend.

  Momma : Owen doesn't have a friend!

  Larry : That's because he's shy.

  Momma : No he's not. He's fat and he's stupid!

• Momma : Get out of my way, you black bastard!

  Larry : What?

• Larry : Do you say the night was humid? Or do you say the night was moist? That's writing.

  Momma : The night was sultry.

• Momma : Owen! Food!

  Owen : In a minute, Momma.

  Momma : Don't you "In a minute, Momma" me! Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! I want two soft-boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly goddammit! And don't burn the toast!

  Owen : Kill her, Larry.

• Momma : You were writing a letter.

  Owen : No, Momma!

  Momma : You are writing to tell them to take me away! You want them to take me away!

  Owen : I'm writing a story for class, Momma! I don't want them to take you away!

  Momma : Yes, you do!

  Owen : Owen loves his Momma!

  Momma : [to herself]  Owen loves his Momma!

  [singing mockingly] 

  Momma : Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma...

• Momma : Your friend had an accident, he's dead! You go bowling and leave a corpse to take care of me!

  Owen : He's dead?

  Momma : See for yourself.

  Owen : Larry! My friend, my friend... Larry!

  Momma : "My friend! My friend!" You big crybaby. Go bury him in the yard before he stinks up the place.

• Momma : Holy shit! What a dream I was having! Louis Armstrong was trying to kill me!

  Larry : Mrs. Lift?

  Momma : Get away from me, you horse's ass!

  [Hits Larry in the crotch with her cane. Larry falls to the floor, groaning] 

  Larry : [to Owen]  She's not a woman... she's the Terminator.

• Momma : [On the train]  I'm getting the hell out of here.

  [Stands up and walks off] 

  Momma : Too goddamn sultry in here.

• [Owen is typing on his typewriter when Momma comes and slams his hands on the keyboard] 

  Momma : Stop it, damn it! I got a wax ball in my ear. Get it out.

  [Cut to bathroom. Momma slaps Owen] 

  Owen : Oh, Momma...

  Momma : You're writing to her, aren't you Owen?

  Owen : Don't start that again, Momma, and don't hit me anymore!

  Momma : You love her.

  Owen : There's no "her", Momma.

  [Momma bends down above the bathtub as Owen brushes her hair back] 

  Momma : You're writing a letter!

  Owen : I'm writing a story for class, Momma. Don't you see? I take a class, I take a nice class.

  Momma : Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  Owen : And I'm gonna be a writer someday.

  Momma : You know how that typing upsets me!

  Owen : I'm sorry, Momma. A writer writes.

  Momma : You're gonna be nothing. You're gonna be nothing. You'll never get to first base. All you do is type, type, type, type, type, type. You sit there typing all day like a fat little pigeon.

  [Owen notices a pair of long scissors on a nearby shelf, picks them up and raises them] 

  Owen : You won't ever hear it again, Momma. I promise.

  [Owen stabs Momma through the ear with the scissors. Momma stands up screaming] 

  Owen : [Confused]  Momma...

  Momma : [Cleaning her ear]  I think you got it, sonny.

  [Owen suddenly comes to his senses, realizing he was imagining killing her] 

  Momma : I don't know what I'd do without you, Owen baby.

  [Kisses him on the cheek and hugs him] 

  Owen : I know, Momma. I know.

  Momma : Owen, my little baby. Owen, my little baby boy.

  [Owen still looks confused as to how he cleared Momma's ear] 

• Momma : Who the hell are you, all of a sudden?

• [She changing the channel to news] 

  Reporter : The ex-husband of missing novelist Margaret Donner is wanted for questioning, but has now himself disappeared... If you have any information regarding his whereabouts of Mr. Donner, please contact your local police department.

  Momma : [turns to Owen]  OWEN! There's a murderer in the house!

  [gets up and calls the police] 

  Momma : Hello, police? I found him! The wife murderer! He's here!

  Larry : Give me the phone! Give me the phone!

  [plugs the phone out] 

  Momma : I found him, the wife murderer!

• Momma : You clumsy poop!

• Momma : He's trying to kill me! I asked for the salted nuts. He brought me the unsalted nuts. The unsalted nuts make me choke!