Robot Holocaust (1986)

A highly unlikely band of heroes traverses a post-apocalyptic wasteland to rescue a scientist from the tyrannical Dark One and his army of robots.

Director:

Tim Kincaid

Writer:

Tim Kincaid

Stars:

Norris Culf, Nadine Hartstein, J. Buzz Von Ornsteiner

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Norris Culf	...	Neo
Nadine Hartstein	...	Deeja (as Nadine Hart)
J. Buzz Von Ornsteiner	...	Klyton (as Joel Von Ornsteiner)
Jennifer Delora	...	Nyla
Andrew Howarth	...	Kai
Angelika Jager	...	Valaria
Michael Downend	...	Jorn
Rick Gianasi	...	Torque
George Grey	...	Bray (as George Gray)
Nicholas Reiner	...	Haim
Michael Azzolina	...	Roan
John Blaylock	...	Korla
Michael Zezima	...	Airslave Fighter
Edward R. Mallia	...	Airslave Fighter (as Edward Mallia)
Amy Brentano	...	Irradiated Female

Storyline

Neo, a drifter from the atomic-blasted wastelands, arrives with his klutzy robot sidekick at a factory where slaves labor to fuel the sinister Dark One's Power Station. There, he meets a comely woman who convinces him to help rescue her scientist father, who has invented a device that can break the Dark One's control over the slaves. Gathering a motley crew of allies on the way, Neo and pals travel to the Power Station, where they confront the Dark One's evil servants.

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Plot Keywords:

robot | sword and sorcery | post apocalypse | mutant | future | 

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Taglines:

It's machine vs. man in the ultimate battle for the future!

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Genres:

Sci-Fi

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Details

Country:

Italy USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

14 April 1986 (Italy)

Also Known As:

I robot conquistano il mondo

Filming Locations:

Brooklyn Navy Yard, Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA

Company Credits

Production Co:

Beyond Infinity,Faso Film,Taryn Productions Inc.

Technical Specs

Runtime:

79 min

Sound Mix:

Dolby

Color:

Color

Did You Know?

Trivia

The music used in this film was lifted from other Charles Band films, notably Laserblast (1978).

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Quotes

[first lines]
Narrator: The last city still stood. The remaining home of what was left of the civilization of New Terra. The society had been all but destroyed by the Robot Rebellion of '33, when the robots had turned on their masters, by the billions. The ensuing chaos had led to a radiation spill far more deadly than any nuclear warfare. The world had been brought to its knees by the... robot holocaust.

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Alternate Versions

Differences between US and Italian versions: There was no narration in the Italian version except for the beginning. In the US version, there is narration throughout the whole movie. A topless man and woman appear outside the Pleasure Machine, holding up the inevitable static electricity globe in one scene. (For some reason, the makers of these things persist in believing that they look 'futuristic.') Meanwhile, a bare-breasted Valaria sticks her arms out between the bars and caresses it. This scene was cut from most US prints.

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Connections

References Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)

User Reviews

Worse Than You Can Possibly Imagine

I can't say I wasn't warned.

After all, MST3K's writers -- who week after week subjected themselves to the most putrid scrapings from the bottom of the cinematic barrel -- made a running joke out of this one. That's often how people deal with a particularly traumatic experience.

And this movie really delivered the hurt.

I wouldn't exactly call the general level of acting here "wooden" -- because it's positively petrified. Angelika Jager (Valeria) is a revelation: calling her style "robotic" would imply something far better than the actuality. It's not over-acting so much as anti-acting: Ms. Jager's got an undeniably beautiful instrument, no argument there at all, but it's as if she's trying to play it with her big toes. Whether it's dialog or body language, she literally never misses a chance to come across as stunningly awkward.

And it's not as though there was even one mildly competent actor in this mess, to throw her transcendent awfulness into stark relief; she manages that feat quite well on her own, thank you very much.

But I pile on.

There's no point in going into the details of the ridiculous story, inane narration and preposterous dialog, but rest assured, it's all here, along with "sewer worm" hand puppets who look like Ollie the Dragon with a terminal case of the mange, a giant spider (well, they could only afford one leg), robots, mutants, amazon warriors and badly choreographed fight scenes.

And of course his Moldy Avocado-ness, the Dark One (or "Dak Wan", in Valeria-speak).

Annoying rip-offs include a C3PO clone who fails miserably to provide any comic relief, as well as a score which lifts a theme from Bernard Herrman's music for "Mysterious Island" and then beats it to death.

By the way, one thing the other reviewers seem to have missed is that according to the opening narration this nonsense is supposedly taking place on a colony planet. (That's why the air's bad and they had to import a bunch of robots to do the work.) I guess the colonists were so homesick for the mother world they had to create a painstakingly accurate replica of early 1980s New York City to live in. Or maybe these futuristic Pilgrims were a splinter cult of Scientologists who regarded John Travolta's character in "Saturday Night Fever" as their prophet.

Whatever. If given the choice, I'd prefer to be repeatedly bludgeoned with the Manhattan Yellow Pages rather than endure another viewing of this movie, but aficionados of 80s' trash might get a laugh or three out of it. Just be forewarned that this isn't your average, everyday, grade-Z chunk of post-Apocalyptic cheese: it's a steaming, radioactive pile of cinematic Limburger.

Movies like this really will rot your brain.