[Hollywood is crying in the ladies' room shortly after Jonathan's promotion]
Mrs. Thomas: Who's crying?
Lupe: It's either our new vice-president, the fairy... OR THE DUMMY!
[Hollywood just caught Jonathan kissing Emmy as she assumes mannequin form]
Hollywood Montrose: [to Jonathan] At least, she'll never tell you that your hips are too fat.
Felix: Just what is your assignment here tonight, boy?
Jonathan Switcher: I'm helping Hollywood with the window.
Felix: Oh, the little Mary has an assistant now? Where do you people come from?
Jonathan Switcher: Ohio.
Felix: [surprised] Ohio? You mean they got 'em in Ohio?
Jonathan Switcher: Hollywood, I don't know about men's thighs! They look fine to me, they really do!
Hollywood Montrose: Thank you. Albert called me 'cellulite city'. Maybe he right. Maybe I should have my hips lifted.
Hollywood Montrose: Two things I love to do is fight and kiss boys!
Felix: You suspect pilferage, sir? I'd be happy to strip-search him.
Mr. Richards: You people that work at night scare me.
Roxie Shield: I think you should see a professional.
Jonathan Switcher: A professional? What do you mean, a hooker?
Roxie Shield: No, I mean a psychiatrist.
Jonathan Switcher: I can't afford a psychiatrist.
Roxie Shield: Then call one of those shrinks on the radio.
Jonathan Switcher: A radio shrink? They're only good for people with problems that fit between the commercials.
Jonathan Switcher: [coming out of the elevator] Easy, Felix! I don't think she's armed!
Felix: You can fool Rambo, but it won't work with me, Switcher! My brain is quicker than...
[before he can finish his sentence, the elevator doors close on him]
[Jonathan has just punched out Felix, sending him to the floor]
Jonathan Switcher: That teaches him to mess with a man and his mannequin.
Armand: Roxy! Roxy, Roxy. You know what you need to do right now? You need to put him and this whole nasty affair out of your mind. Now, how is the best way to do that, huh? Huh? By having a night of distastable sex with someone you care absolutely nothing about! And proudly, I would like to be that person.
Roxie Shield: Fine, let's just go to your place.
Roxie Shield: Drive fast before I have second thoughts!
Armand: Armand is the wind!
Jonathan Switcher: This job at Illustra is destroying your sense of humor. You gotta quit.
Roxie Shield: I'm not the one who can't deal with reality.
Jonathan Switcher: Reality is very disappointing.
Jonathan Switcher: Just when I think you're real, you vanished. What's with you? What's with me?
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: Didn't I tell you? You're the only one who can see me like this.
Jonathan Switcher: It's not exactly fair, is it?
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: [points to the sky] Talk to them.
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: Mother, I don't want to settle down. I want to do things, I want to invent things, I want to try things that nobody's ever tried before... I want to fly.
Emmy's Mother: [sarcastic] Sure and I want to smoke and tell your father to go to hell!
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: [on Christopher Columbus] I told him the world was round and I never saw him again.
Claire Timkin: Mr. Richards, this store has never been more successful, and it's all due to Jonathan Switcher. I don't care if he puts a rubber glove on his head and runs naked around the store screaming, 'Hi! I'm a squid!'
[Felix has just discovered Jonathan making love to Emmy while she has assumed mannequin form]
Felix: [to Jonathan] Switcher, you are one... sick... puppy!
Hollywood Montrose: [to Jonathan] You know I would never interrupt you when you're getting a piece of wood...
[Jonathan is explaining to Roxie about the first time Emmy came to life]
Roxie Shield: You could've decided to tell me that you wanted to stand me up. Instead, you come here to me lying with this ridiculous story!
Jonathan Switcher: I'm not lying. I'm insane.
Mannequin Factory Boss: You know, you could get the dummy of the week award, Switcher.
Jonathan Switcher: She turned out pretty good, didn't she?
Mannequin Factory Boss: I wasn't talking about her.
Hollywood Montrose: [to Jonathan] Don't let Felix get to you, he's just got a bad case of Miami Vice.
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: Tonight, we'll do something different and special. Something that this store has never seen before. I just wish you didn't look so worried.
Jonathan Switcher: That's easy for you to say. You're a mannequin, you'll always have work. Me, I'm gonna wind up in the nuthouse after this. I wonder if insanity is covered in the employee health plan?
Roxie Shield: Jonathan, you're riding around town with a mannequin on the back of your motorcycle! What is wrong with this picture?
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: [looking at a stereo system playing] Where do they hide all the musicians?
Felix: [handing Mr. Richards a container of shoe polish] Here, Mr. Richards. You better put some camouflage on, sir.
Mr. Richards: I am not going to put shoe polish on my face, thank you. And can we please get into the store, Felix?
Mr. Richards: You must lead a charmed life, it was all I could do to save your skin in there. No thanks are necessary, Switcher!
Felix: [after Emmy, as a mannequin, has flipped him and Richards off] Enough of this surveillance crap! Captain Felix Maxwell takes this from no *mannequin*!
Jonathan Switcher: Yeah and you can add kidnapping, too.
Mr. Richards: Kidnapping? Who?
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: [points to herself] Me!
B.J. Wert: And who are you?
Felix: She's the dummy!
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: This poor man is having a breakdown!
Felix: No, no! She's the dummy!
Claire Timkin: I don't know how were going to make this store great again.
Jonathan Switcher: Looks fine to me. What time do we open?
Claire Timkin: [sighs sadly] We *are* open.
Jonathan Switcher: Oh... I'm sure things will pick up by lunch.
Felix: [seeing Jonathan and Emmy leaving] It's him! It's her! Ooh, that little 'peevert'. He's stealing her before we can.
Mr. Richards: Okay, let's not do anything rash. We'll follow them quietly and look for just the right moment to grab them.
Felix: Don't worry, Mr. Richards. I'm an expert at surveillance. Hang on!
[car peels off]