The Lost Boys (1987)
Quotes
[last lines]
Grandpa: One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach; all the damn vampires.
Sam Emerson: Wait, wait. You *have* a TV?
Grandpa: No. I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.
Sam Emerson: Look at your reflection in the mirror. You're a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You're a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'till mom finds out, buddy!
Alan Frog: [after Laddie vamps out] Holy shit! It's the attack of Eddie Munster!
Edgar Frog: Get him!
[the Frog Brothers and Sam chase after Laddie, but Star, who was hiding in the closet, stops them]
Star: [shields Laddie] Stop! Get away from him! You just stay away from him! He's just a little boy.
David: Now you know what we are, now you know what you are. You'll never grow old, Michael, and you'll never die. But you must feed!
Alan Frog: We don't ride with vampires.
Sam Emerson: Fine, stay here.
Edgar Frog: [Looks around, clearly scared] We do now.
Alan Frog: Yeah.
Max: It was all going to be so perfect, Lucy. Just like one big, happy family. Your boys... and my boys.
Edgar Frog: Great! The Bloodsucking Brady Bunch!
Grandpa: Second shelf is mine. That's where I keep my rootbeers and my double-thick Oreo cookies. Nobody touches the second shelf but me.
David: It is too late, my blood is in your veins.
Michael Emerson: So is mine!
Sam Emerson: Death by stereo!
David: How are those maggots?
Michael Emerson: Huh?
David: Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?
Edgar Frog: I think I should warn you all, when a vampire bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them.
David: [after tricking Michael to see worms in the Chinese carton] They're only noodles Michael.
Sam Emerson: [about Star] It's that girl from the boardwalk. Is she one of them?
[Star floats up]
Sam Emerson: She's one of them! And don't tell me it doesn't make her a bad person, Mike.
Grandpa: [the boys come in carrying Laddie and Star, who are sleeping. Grandpa is totally ignoring the unconscious Laddie in Edgar's arms, and Star in Michael's] Do you know the rule about filling up the car with gas when you take it without asking?
Michael Emerson: [Hoping he says nothing about Laddie and Star] No, Grandpa.
Grandpa: Well, now you do.
Max: Don't ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy. It renders you powerless.
Sam Emerson: Did you know that?
Edgar Frog: Of course. Everyone knows that.
David: What, you don't like rice? Tell me Michael, how could a billion Chinese people be wrong?
Edgar Frog: Where the hell are you from? Krypton?
Grandpa: Hey, anything around here that might pass for aftershave?
Sam Emerson: How about some Windex, Grandpa?
Grandpa: Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that.
Michael Emerson: You have a big date tonight, Grandpa?
Grandpa: I'm going to drop my handiwork by the widow Johnson.
Michael Emerson: What'd ya stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?
Sam Emerson: Don't kill me, Mike. I'm basically a good kid.
David: [offering Michael a drink of blood] Come on, be one of us.
Sam Emerson: You're a vampire! I knew it!
Michael Emerson: I am not!
Sam Emerson: So what are you? The Flying Nun?
[about Grandpa]
Michael Emerson: Looks like he's dead!
Sam Emerson: If he's dead, can we go back to Phoenix?
Edgar Frog: [the Frog Brothers walk in the room, carrying loads of stakes. To Sam] Okay, where's Nosferatu?
Sam Emerson: Who?
Edgar Frog: The prince of darkness.
Alan Frog: The night crawler. The bloodsucker.
Edgar Frog: El Vampiro.
Sam Emerson: Mike! They're here!
Edgar Frog: Listen, just so you know, if you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, I'll stake you without even thinking twice about it!
Sam Emerson: Chill out, Edgar.
Edgar Frog: [coming to his senses] Right.
Sam Emerson: Are you freebasing, Michael? Inquiring minds want to know.
Paul: You killed Marco!
Edgar Frog: Yeah, and you're next!
Paul: No, you're next!
Paul: [Paul sees garlic in the bathtub] Haha! Garlic don't work, boys!
Edgar Frog: TRY THE HOLY WATER, DEATH BREATH!
[sprays Paul with water pistol, his skin burns from holy water and screams in agony]
Grandpa: Lucy, you're the only woman I ever knew that didn't improve her situation by getting divorced.
Grandpa: Well, now, let me put it this way. If all the corpses buried around here were to stand up all at once, we'd have one hell of a population problem.
Grandpa: Hey! Smells good! When do we eat?
Lucy Emerson: I told Max around 8:00.
Grandpa: Max! Are we going to have company again?
Lucy Emerson: Again? Dad you haven't had company in this house since Mom died eight years ago.
Grandpa: Right! Now we are going to have company again!
Sam Emerson: So where're we going?
Michael Emerson: Nowhere.
Sam Emerson: So what's the rush? You're chasing that girl aren't you? Come on, admit it. I'm at the mercy of your sex glands, bud.
Alan Frog: We blew it, man, we lost it!
Edgar Frog: Shut up!
Alan Frog: We unraveled in the face of the enemy!
Edgar Frog: It's not our fault, they pulled a mind scramble on us! They opened their eyes and talked!
Lucy Emerson: You got carried away by a comic book?
Sam Emerson: It was a scary comic, mom. I'm sorry.
Edgar Frog: How much do you think we should charge them for this?
Sam Emerson: [bursts into the video store where his mom is working] Mom, listen, I gotta tell you something - it's real important. Shh! Santa Carla is crawling with vampires.
Lucy Emerson: [to customers] Um, excuse me...
Sam Emerson: Mom, I'm serious! Listen, Edgar staked one, it was screaming and fizzing. Look, Mom, there's evidence on my sweater.
Michael Emerson: Is there any jobs around here?
Stranger: Nothing legal.
Sam Emerson: Got a problem, guys?
Edgar Frog: Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.
Sam Emerson: Pretty cool, huh?
Alan Frog: For a fashion victim.
Edgar Frog: You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?
Sam Emerson: Yeah, all day.
Alan Frog: Does the sunlight freak him out?
Sam Emerson: Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.
Edgar Frog: Bad breath, long fingernails?
Sam Emerson: Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath, though.
Alan Frog: He's a vampire all right.
Edgar Frog: All right, here's what you do: get yourself a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.
Sam Emerson: I can't do that; he's my brother.
Alan Frog: OK, we'll come over and do it for you.
Sam Emerson: No!
Edgar Frog: You'd better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it's your funeral.
Sam Emerson: And then his dog started chasing my mom like the hounds of hell in "Vampires Everywhere."
Edgar Frog: We've been aware there's some very serious vampire activity in this town for some time.
Alan Frog: Santa Carla's become a haven for the undead.
Edgar Frog: As a matter of fact, we're almost certain ghouls and werewolves occupy high positions at city hall.
Alan Frog: Kill your brother, you'll feel better.
Alan Frog: Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet?
Sam Emerson: No, it's actually a pretty cool place... if you're a Martian!
Edgar Frog: Or, a vampire!
Sam Emerson: You guys sniffin' on newsprint or somethin'?
Alan Frog: There's our number on the back. And pray you never need to call us.
Sam Emerson: I'll pray I never need to call you.
Michael Emerson: [looking inside Grandpa's work-room] Talk about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Michael Emerson: I can't beat your bike.
David: You don't have to beat me, Michael. You just have to try and keep up.
Michael Emerson: I didn't invite you this time, Max.
Alan Frog: Holy shit, Vampire Hotel.
Sam Emerson: Guys, we're on our own.
Edgar Frog: Good, just the way we like it.
Michael Emerson: Look, this isn't a comic book, Sam, these guys are brutal killers.
Sam Emerson: So are the Frog brothers!
David: Initiation's over, Michael. Time to join the club!
Max: [reaches for Lucy's hand while strangling Sam] Don't fight, Lucy. It's so much better if you don't fight.
Sam Emerson: Mom! Mom, no! Don't do it, Mom! Mom, don't do it!
Lucy Emerson: Sam...
Sam Emerson: Mom, no!
[Lucy reluctantly decides to abandon her humanity by taking Max's hand]
Sam Emerson: Mom, no!
Lucy Emerson: Sam!
[Max attempts to bite her]
Dwayne: [standing up after almost getting hit by bow and arrow] You missed, sucker!
Sam Emerson: Only once, pal.
Sam Emerson: I bet you hate garlic, dontcha!
Max: No, I like garlic! It's just a little much! It's raw garlic.
Michael Emerson: [Sam comes out of the bathroom, Michael's hand is cut up, and bloody] Nanook.
Sam Emerson: What about Nanook? What'd you do to my dog, you asshole?
Edgar Frog: Are you OK?
Sam Emerson: I nailed one of them downstairs with a bow and arrow.
Alan Frog: All right, Sambo!
Edgar Frog: We trashed the one that looks like Twisted Sister.
Alan Frog: We totally annihilated his night-stalking ass!
Edgar Frog: Well, Nanook helped a little.
[Laddie, now a vampire, is hiding underneath Sam's bed]
Sam Emerson: [to Nanook] All right, Nanook!
Alan Frog: Death to all vampires!
Edgar Frog: Maximum body count. We are awesome monster bashers.
Alan Frog: The meanest!
Edgar Frog: The baddest!
Sam Emerson: There's no TV! Have you seen a TV, Mike? I haven't seen a TV. Do you know what it means when there's no TV? - No MTV!
Edgar Frog: You think you really know what's happening here, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something, you don't know shit, buddy.
Alan Frog: Yeah? You think we just work at a comic book store for our folks, huh?
Sam Emerson: Actually, I thought it was a bakery.
Edgar Frog: This is just a cover; we're dedicated to a higher purpose. We're fighters for truth, justice, and the American way.
Alan Frog: Aaaaaah! Flies!
Edgar Frog: We're on the right trail. Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns. Come on.
Edgar Frog: [in background] I'm the head Frog here.
Dwayne: [In the cave, talking to Laddie] Grab the rock box, kid!
Sam Emerson: [Sam gets in bed with her] Have you been eating pizza?
Sam Emerson: No. Why?
Lucy Emerson: Phew. You smell like garlic.
[Sam opens his robe, he is wearing a garlic necklace]
Sam Emerson: [yelling out the window to Star] Don't kill anyone until we get back to you!
Michael Emerson: [the Frog Brothers are talking about killing Star] Don't you touch her!
Edgar Frog: [to Alan] Come on. Vampires have such a rotten temper.
Alan Frog: First come, first staked.
Sam Emerson: What was that? A little vampire humor? Well, it wasn't funny!
Sam Emerson: What's that smell?
Edgar Frog: Vampires, my friend, vampires.
Max: [Michael is about to walk out the front door and suddenly sees Max as he's just getting ready to knock] Hey. How you doing? You must be Michael, right?
Michael Emerson: And you must be Max.
Max: Right. How are you?
[they shake hands]
Max: Well, you're the man of the house and I'm not coming in until you invite me.
Michael Emerson: You're invited.
Max: [nods, smiles] Thanks very much.
[enters]
Sam Emerson: [meets the frog brothers] Got a problem, guys?
Edgar Frog: Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.
Sam Emerson: Pretty cool, huh?
Alan Frog: For a fashion victim.
Edgar Frog: Listen buddy, if you're looking for the diet frozen yogurt bar went out of business last summer.
Sam Emerson: Actually, I'm looking for a Batman #14.
Edgar Frog: That's a very serious book man.
Alan Frog: Only five in existence.
Sam Emerson: Four, actually. I'm always looking out for the other three. Look, you can't put the Superman #77's with the 200's. They haven't even discovered red kryptonite yet. And you uh . You can't put the 98s with the 300s. Lori Lemaris hasn't even been introduced
Edgar Frog: Where the hell are you from? Krypton?
Sam Emerson: Phoenix, actually. But lucky me, we moved... here.
Edgar Frog: [gives Sam a vampire comic] take this.
Sam Emerson: I don't like horror comics.
Edgar Frog: You'll like this one, Mr. Phoenix. It could save your life.
[Max, Lucy, Sam and his guests, the Frog Brothers are having their spaghetti and meatballs dinner]
Max: Lucy, this looks terrific.
Lucy Emerson: Well, I hope it taste good.
Max: Mmm! It's wonderful.
Lucy Emerson: [sips a glass of wine] Mmm! Boy! Somebody around here has bad breath.
[Sam, Alan and Edgar all stare at Max, but Max turns to Edgar, in which the latter turns away. Lucy then find Nanook, the family dog, was the one with its bad breath]
Lucy Emerson: Nanook, would you quit breathing on me?
Sam Emerson: Nanook, get upstairs. Go on.
[Nanook leaves the dinner table. Edgar then signals Alan to hand the "grated Parmesan cheese" to Sam]
Sam Emerson: [to Max] You want some Parmesan cheese on that?
Max: Uh... yeah, Sam. Thank you very much.
Lucy Emerson: Sam grated the cheese himself.
Max: Ah.
Lucy Emerson: My son.
[Max sprinkles the "cheese" on his spaghetti; unbeknownst to Max yet, it's raw garlic]
Max: Another budding chef in the family.
Edgar Frog: Come on Sam, let's get out of here. Burn rubber!
[the car accelerates, almost driving over a cliff]
Edgar Frog: Christ!
Sam Emerson: Burn rubber does not mean warp speed!
Grandpa: Ouch, my hair!
Michael Emerson: What's happening to me, Star?
Star: Oh, Michael. Michael, I can't tell you. I don't know how to help you.
Michael Emerson: What's happening?
Star: [whispers] I can't.
