Helen: [talking to herself in the mirror] What if I did drink too much wine? Whose business is that anyway? Who knows how much I *didn't* drink, huh?
Francis Phelan: [seeing ghosts again] Goddamn dead men, traveling around together.
Francis Phelan: [in her imagination after singing in the tavern] By God, Helen, that's as good as it gets. You were born to be a star.
Francis Phelan: I'd like to buy this shirt from you. Will you take two bits for it?
Rosskam: Why does a bum need a clean shirt?
Francis Phelan: Clothes make the man, they say.
Rosskam: Tidy bum. Sensitive, tidy bum I got on my wagon.
Francis Phelan: [after Sandra's death] What was her last name?
Pee Wee: Never heard it.
Francis Phelan: Don't matter now, huh?
Pee Wee: Never did.
Reverend Chester: I believe that I've got a job for you.
Francis Phelan: I worked today up at the cemetery.
Reverend Chester: Splendid!
Francis Phelan: Well, shovelin' dirt ain't all that splendid.
Francis Phelan: [regarding Sandra] She a bum, or just a plain drunk?
Rudy: She's been a bum all her life.
Francis Phelan: [chuckles] No, nobody... 'been a bum all her life'. She had to be somethin' else before she was a bum.
Oscar Reo: I think I know you two Turks.
Francis Phelan: Well, you'd be thinkin' right. 'Cept you wasn't sportin' that pussy-tickler last time I seen ya.
Pee Wee: [gathered around a fire barrel] Oh God, it's too damn cold out here. Hey, Francis.
Francis Phelan: Hey, Pee Wee.
Pee Wee: Have you come back?
Francis Phelan: Yeah. You, uh, seen Helen around?
Pee Wee: No. I haven't seen her in a couple days.
Francis Phelan: Well, I'll catch up with her.
Rudy: You know somebody that's buried up there?
Francis Phelan: Yeah, a little kid.
Rudy: Little kid? What'd he do, die young?
Francis Phelan: Pretty young, yeah.
Rudy: What happened?
Francis Phelan: He fell.
Rudy: Fell where?
Francis Phelan: On the floor.
Rudy: Fell on the floor? I fall on the floor about twice a day. I ain't dead yet.
Reverend Chester: It's fine you're off the drink. You've got strong look about you today.
Francis Phelan: Eh, just a false face for Halloween.
Helen: Everything ails me.
Francis Phelan: Oh, come on. At least you got to sing a song.
Helen: Yeah, I did. I sang while Sandra was dying over there.
Francis Phelan: Oh, come one. She was gonna die anyway. Her time was up.
Helen: Oh, well, I don't believe that. I believe you die when you can't stand it any more. Take as much as you can, then you... You die when you can.
Train Bum: Hey, where did you get them shoes?
Francis Phelan: I found them.
Train Bum: Goddamn it, them's nice shoes!
Francis Phelan: That's why I wear 'em.
Francis Phelan: [to his train conductor ghost] I real sorry that I hurt your head so bad. But I had good reasons, 'cause you know. I almost lost a finger.
[holding up his pinky]
Francis Phelan: I couldn't do anything right-handed for a long time. But I don't hold grudges for more than 5 years. See ya...
Francis Phelan: [following her into an alley] You are you kidding. You got nowheres to go. You wanna get knocked over the head?
Helen: It wouldn't be the worst that ever happened to me. Are you gonna hit me now?
Francis Phelan: [shaking her by the head] I'm not gonna hit ya. Shh. I love you, soul mate.
Helen: [kneeing in the church] Forgive me, for I have sinned. If you must call them sins, you know, I call them decisions. I'm not a drunk, and I'm not a whore, and I never let a man use me for money. You know, I went Dutch lots of times, and I... well, I would let them buy the drinks. But that's because it's a man's place to buy the drinks. But I never, ever betrayed anybody. And that's what counts with me. Of course, I know living with Francis was sinful in the eyes of some people, and I took a certain amount of liberty with the Commandments of the Church. But nobody's gonna compel me ever - I couldn't declare to anybody, not even you, St. Joseph - that loving Francis was sinful. Because it was probably... *the* greatest thing in my life.
Rosskam: So, how do you like it?
Francis Phelan: Like what?
Rosskam: Sex business, woman stuff...
Francis Phelan: Well, I don't think about it that much anymore. To tell you the truth, I'm over the hill.
Rosskam: Over the hill? How old are you, 62?
Francis Phelan: I'm not *that* old.
Rosskam: 71 here. I don't go over no hills. Four, five times a night, I get it with the old woman, and in the daylight I go house to house, I get offers. I never went house to house. Listen, half my life I go house to house, and I know how it is. You get offers. Boy oh boy, you get offers.
Katrina Dougherty: You know, a great poet once said that love enters through the eyes. You must be very careful not to see too much. Have you ever seen anyone faint?
Young Francis Phelan: Faint? No.
Katrina Dougherty: Then I shall faint for you, dear Francis.
[swoons and collapses]
Young Francis Phelan: [standing over her] You've done that pretty good.
[now kneeing over her]
Young Francis Phelan: You can get up now.
Katrina Dougherty: [as he lifts her up she opens her eyes slyly]
Francis Phelan: Excuse me, lady, do you know where I can get a nice little turkey?
Hooverville Resident: [just coming out of his house] What did you say to my wife?
Francis Phelan: I asked her where I could get a turkey.
Hooverville Resident: What for?
Francis Phelan: Well, uh, my duck died.
Francis Phelan: [suddenly seeing his ghosts] You goddamn spooks. You ain't real. You're dead! Or if you ain't, you ought to be. I'd rather be dying out in the weeds than standing here watching you pining away. *I'm* the one that's living. I'm the one that put *you* on the map! You don't know nothing that I don't know. See? So get your asses gone! I'm sick to death of looking at the bunch of youse anyway.
Annie Phelan: [bringing him to his senses] Fran. Fran.
Francis Phelan: Annie, I'd eat all the dirt in this yard for you. And all the weeds, and all the dog bones too, if you asked me.
Annie Phelan: [lovingly] I think you probably are all that already.
Francis Phelan: [walking into the house] How are you doing, Margaret?
Margaret 'Peg' Phelan: [defiantly] I'm doing fine. No thanks to you.
Francis Phelan: Yep.
Billy Phelan: Let's give the man a break, for chrissake. He just got here.
Margaret 'Peg' Phelan: What break did he ever give me? Or you? You don't just pop up here one day and all is forgiven.
Francis Phelan: I ain't expecting to be forgiven. I'm way past that.
Margaret 'Peg' Phelan: Oh. So why have you come back here like a ghost, to force this scrawny turkey on us?
Annie Phelan: That's twelve and a half pounds!
Margaret 'Peg' Phelan: Why did you come here, is what I want to know. This is a home you didn't build.
Francis Phelan: I built you. I built Bill. Helped to.
Margaret 'Peg' Phelan: I wish you never did.
Billy Phelan: Shut up! Rotten tongue of yours. Shut it the hell up.
Rudy: You know why people call you a bum? Because it makes them feel better when they say it.
Francis Phelan: Well, the truth can't hurt you. If you're a bum, you're a bum.
Francis Phelan: I'm gonna get you that gravestone that you always wanted. You know what I'm gonna put on it? "Helen Marie Archer, a great soul."
Annie Phelan: [Francis imagining the home he never had] That's Danny's room. It's a nice big room. It gets the morning light.
Francis Phelan: [entering a brightly decorated nursery] It's nice.
Annie Phelan: The room's got some space to it. We could set up an extra cot.
Francis Phelan: It's a mighty nice room. It's the morning light.