Deadtime Stories

Here we have a fun, albeit silly, horror anthology movie. This time around the storytelling revolves around black comedy versions of Grimm's Fairytale-type stories being told to a kid with mild insomnia by his lame "I probably just got divorced and that sucubus got away with all my stuff" uncle.

The first entry is very dull. It centers around some witches and their errand boy. The boy has to do some of their dirty work involving other people and he ends up betraying them for some hottie in a St. Pauline girl boob dress. I really can't remember any other details and I just saw this movie a week ago. It's that forgettable.

The second entry is a little better. It tells a contemporary version of Little Red Riding Hood wherein Red is a hot lady in a red jogging outfit and the wolf is a werewolf played by Matt Mitler. "Matt Mitler? You say that like we're supposed to know who that is", you might be saying to yourself. Well, he was in The Mutilator, aka Fall Break, and this is the only other movie I've seen him in and it was nice to see a fimiliar face in this goofy movie.

Like many anthologies of the time, this movie is mostly forgettable save for one of the stories. The first two shorts are snoozefests, although oddly enjoyable snoozefests as I have elaborated on above. The final story, a twisted version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, kind of redeems everything else. In this story, The three bears are a family of psychopathic criminals who haven't been home in awhile. Goldilocks is a telekinetic killer of her boyfriends that has been shackled up in their house while they've been gone. She's surrounded herself with the rotted skeletons of her previous paramores, and continues to share sodas and conversations with them. You know, cuz she's crazy. When the two groups meet, fun and slapstick comedy ensues! Goldy finally finds true love with Baby Bear, the affable and dim grown son of the Bear gang, and they all live happily ever after while running over people with their car.