Never Too Young to Die (1986)

A top secret Agent is murdered, so his estranged son, a high school gymnast, teams up with his dad's attractive female partner to stop the psychopathic hermaphroditic gang leader who killed him, and now plans a major terrorist attack.

Director:

Gil Bettman

Writers:

Steven Paul (story), Steven Paul (screenplay)

Stars:

John Stamos, Vanity, Gene Simmons

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
John Stamos	...	Lance Stargrove
Vanity	...	Danja Deering
Gene Simmons	...	Velvet Von Ragnar / Carruthers
George Lazenby	...	Drew Stargrove
Peter Kwong	...	Cliff
Ed Brock	...	Pyramid
John Anderson	...	Arliss
Robert Englund	...	Riley
Tara Buckman	...	Sacrificed Punkette
Curtis Taylor	...	Barton
Jon Greene	...	Coach Madsen
Tim Colceri	...	Grady
John Miranda	...	Mr. Wilder
Patrick Wright	...	Exploding Biker
Art Payton	...	Minister

Storyline

Velvet Von Ragner is a powerful murderous psychopathic gang leader, but also a hermaphrodite who prides himself of being both a man and a woman. He's holding a gang rally where he announces his plans to poison the water supply and pipeline of a major US city. However, top US secret agent and double O counterpart Drew Stargrove steals a key component he needs to pull this off. After an action packed shoot out, Stargrove is surrounded and although he puts up a good fight, he's eventually killed by Von Ragner. However, the component is not on him. Meanwhile, his estranged son Lance, a talented high school gymnast, receives the word of his father's death. As part of their denial protocol, the government claims that he's been killed in a car accident, which Lance doesn't buy. Lance notices that part of his inheritance is a farm he never knew his father had, so he goes there to check it out. The only person living there turns out to be Danja Deering, a beautiful female spy, who worked with ...

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Plot Keywords:

hermaphrodite | gymnast | roommate | excrement on face | gay slur | 

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Taglines:

He inherited all his father's enemies and only one of his friends.

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Genres:

Action | Adventure | Comedy | Drama

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Certificate:

R

Did You Know?

Trivia

Some of the lyrics from Simmons' nightclub act scene would later show up in "Spit," a song from the 1992 Kiss album "Revenge."

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Goofs

When Ragnar hurls young Stargrove over the top rail of the dam, one can see the attached safety cable keeping the stunt double from plummeting to his death.

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Quotes

Velvet Von Ragner: Look, I'm not that bad. Really. I don't know why I do the things I do. I guess it's because... I love it!

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Alternate Versions

UK video release was cut by 16 seconds to get an 18 certificate.

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Connections

Referenced in Best of the Worst: Playing Dangerous 2, the Exterminator, and the Deadliest Prey (2013)

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Soundtracks

Stargrove
Performed by Tommie Lee Bradley
Produced by Iren Koster, Chip Taylor, Ralph Lane
Written by Chip Taylor, Ralph Lane, Michael Kingsley and Iren Koster
© 1986 Paul Music

User Reviews

So bad, it's worse

LOL, this is bad, yes, but if you really must know, I think it's worth checking out just to see Gene Simmons cackle like the wicked witch of the west. Otherwise it's a stinkeroo. I could have a whole tape of this movie with just Gene's scenes in it to lmao. This also robs heavily from the Mad Max movies. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear it was also making fun of the gender bender, big hair boy bands of the 80's. Or someone's perception of them anyway.

Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

17 July 1986 (West Germany)

Also Known As:

Never Too Young to Die

Filming Locations:

Fort MacArthur, San Pedro, Los Angeles, California, USA

Box Office

Budget:

$3,000,000 (estimated)

Company Credits

Production Co:

Paul Entertainment

Technical Specs

Runtime:

97 min

Sound Mix:

Dolby

Color:

Color (Metrocolor)

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1