4.8/10
1,272
25 user 32 critic

Never Too Young to Die (1986)

A top secret Agent is murdered, so his estranged son, a high school gymnast, teams up with his dad's attractive female partner to stop the psychopathic hermaphroditic gang leader who killed him, and now plans a major terrorist attack.

Director:

Gil Bettman

Writers:

Steven Paul (story), Stuart Paul (story) | 2 more credits »
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
John Stamos ... Lance Stargrove
Vanity ... Danja Deering
Gene Simmons ... Carruthers / Velvet Von Ragner
George Lazenby ... Drew Stargrove
Peter Kwong ... Cliff
Ed Brock Ed Brock ... Pyramid
John Anderson ... Arliss
Robert Englund ... Riley
Tara Buckman ... Sacrificed Punkette
Curtis Taylor ... Barton
Jon Greene Jon Greene ... Coach Madsen
Tim Colceri ... Grady
John Miranda ... Mr. Wilder
Patrick Wright ... Exploding Biker
Gary Kasper ... Wrestler (as Gary F. Kasper)
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Storyline

Velvet Von Ragner is a powerful murderous psychopathic gang leader, but also a hermaphrodite who prides himself of being both a man and a woman. He's holding a gang rally where he announces his plans to poison the water supply and pipeline of a major US city. However, top US secret agent and double O counterpart Drew Stargrove steals a key component he needs to pull this off. After an action packed shoot out, Stargrove is surrounded and although he puts up a good fight, he's eventually killed by Von Ragner. However, the component is not on him. Meanwhile, his estranged son Lance, a talented high school gymnast, receives the word of his father's death. As part of their denial protocol, the government claims that he's been killed in a car accident, which Lance doesn't buy. Lance notices that part of his inheritance is a farm he never knew his father had, so he goes there to check it out. The only person living there turns out to be Danja Deering, a beautiful female spy, who worked with ...

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

He inherited all his father's enemies and only one of his friends. See more »


Certificate:

R | See all certifications »
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Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

17 July 1986 (West Germany) See more »

Also Known As:

Lance - Stirb niemals jung See more »

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Box Office

Budget:

$3,000,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend USA:

$46,500, 18 June 1986, Limited Release
See more on IMDbPro »

Company Credits

Production Co:

Paul Entertainment See more »
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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Dolby

Color:

Color (Metrocolor)
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Velvet Von Ragner's band in the club scene was made up of actual transvestites who gave Gene Simmons pointers on how to play Ragner. See more »

Quotes

Velvet Von Ragnar: [regarding the formula with which they'll poison Los Angeles's water supply, unless the Governor of California meets their demands] ... Is the concentration LETHAL?
Riley: I'd say WORSE!
See more »


Soundtracks

STARGROVE
Performed by Tommie Lee Bradley
Produced by Iren Koster, Chip Taylor, Ralph Lane
Written by Chip Taylor, Ralph Lane, Michael Kingsley, and Iren Koster
1986 Paul Music
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Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

The most delightfully crappy movie I've ever seen.
27 July 2001 | by IvanhoeSee all my reviews

Many films fall into that 'so-bad-they're-good' category. The guys at Troma have even made it a revered art form. But Troma has yet to match "Never Too Young to Die." Without realising it, the filmmakers have achieved the ultimate tacky 80's action movie. It has just a perfect balance of tacky 80's acting (with "Jessie" from "Full House," Gene Simmons from KISS, and Vanity--what ever happened to her?), tacky 80's action, tacky 80's music, and tacky 80's production design. The plot is the most convoluted mess I've ever seen. That is to say that there really is a plot, but you find yourself smacking your forehead repeatedly in disbelief as the writers juggle tacky 80's clichés, predictable plot turns, and convenient situations that no one would ever buy. And sometimes, it just doesn't make any sense at all. But when all is said and done, the final product is a movie that is just delightfully crappy. My suggestion: rent this movie with some friends and some booze, and have a rollicking good time bashing this movie. I give it a 0 for its poor quality and a 10 for its "entertainment" value. Total score: 5


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