Never Too Young to Die (1986)

A top secret Agent is murdered, so his estranged son, a high school gymnast, teams up with his dad's attractive female partner to stop the psychopathic hermaphroditic gang leader who killed him, and now plans a major terrorist attack.

Director:

Gil Bettman

Writers:

Steven Paul (story), Stuart Paul (story)

Stars:

John Stamos, Vanity, Gene Simmons

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
John Stamos	...	Lance Stargrove
Vanity	...	Danja Deering
Gene Simmons	...	Carruthers / Velvet Von Ragner
George Lazenby	...	Drew Stargrove
Peter Kwong	...	Cliff
Ed Brock	...	Pyramid
John Anderson	...	Arliss
Robert Englund	...	Riley
Tara Buckman	...	Sacrificed Punkette
Curtis Taylor	...	Barton
Jon Greene	...	Coach Madsen
Tim Colceri	...	Grady
John Miranda	...	Mr. Wilder
Patrick Wright	...	Exploding Biker
Gary Kasper	...	Wrestler (as Gary F. Kasper)

Storyline

Velvet Von Ragner is a powerful murderous psychopathic gang leader, but also a hermaphrodite who prides himself of being both a man and a woman. He's holding a gang rally where he announces his plans to poison the water supply and pipeline of a major US city. However, top US secret agent and double O counterpart Drew Stargrove steals a key component he needs to pull this off. After an action packed shoot out, Stargrove is surrounded and although he puts up a good fight, he's eventually killed by Von Ragner. However, the component is not on him. Meanwhile, his estranged son Lance, a talented high school gymnast, receives the word of his father's death. As part of their denial protocol, the government claims that he's been killed in a car accident, which Lance doesn't buy. Lance notices that part of his inheritance is a farm he never knew his father had, so he goes there to check it out. The only person living there turns out to be Danja Deering, a beautiful female spy, who worked with ...

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Plot Keywords:

hermaphrodite | gymnast | roommate | excrement on face | gay slur | 

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Taglines:

Vanity: the new breed of temptress! Stamos: the new breed of hero!

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Genres:

Action | Adventure | Comedy | Drama

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Certificate:

R

Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

13 June 1986 (USA)

Also Known As:

Lance - Stirb niemals jung

Filming Locations:

Fort MacArthur, San Pedro, Los Angeles, California, USA

Box Office

Budget:

$3,000,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend USA:

$46,500, 18 June 1986, Limited Release

Company Credits

Production Co:

Paul Entertainment

Technical Specs

Runtime:

97 min

Sound Mix:

Dolby

Color:

Color (Metrocolor)

Did You Know?

Trivia

Shot in 35 days.

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Quotes

Velvet Von Ragnar: I've figured out how to access their computers to re-channel radioactive waste so it goes from Diablo Canyon... into their *drinking water*.
[Ragnar's henchmen look at each other in confusion]
Velvet Von Ragnar: Poison the water supply!
[shouts]
Velvet Von Ragnar: I'm gonna poison their water supply! For gold! For ransom! For jewels! For money!
[laughs maniacally]

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Connections

Referenced in Best of the Worst: Ghetto Blaster, Terror in Beverly Hills, and Killing American Style (2014)

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Soundtracks

SPOTLIGHT
Performed by Minor Messages
Produced by Chip Taylor, Ralph Lane, Michael Kingsley
Written by Chip Taylor, Ralph Lane, Michael Kingsley
1986 Paul Music

User Reviews

Gene Simmons + Vanity + John Stamos = A Movie Garanteed to Satisfy

While I was browsing about in my local video store, noticing that all the new releases that I have not seen were recycled plots and actors made by the Hollywood hype machine I decided to venture into the vast library of catalog titles. I am very satisfied in doing so, for I would not have discovered this gem in the cinematic coal mine.

This film is pure balls to the wall kick ass fun. Unintentionally funny, action packed, and with a glimpse of 80's beauty Vanity's topless breasts leave the viewer happy he/she rented this item instead of (Insert sitcom to movie remake set in the modern times, stripping it of the greatness that made the sitcom a classic here).

Great to watch with a group of friends.