My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) Poster

Saeed Jaffrey: Uncle Nasser



  • Nasser : I thought you two were getting married.

    Omar : Yes, any day now.

    Tania : I'd rather drink my own urine.

    Omar : I hear it can be quite tasty with a slice of lemon.

  • Nasser : Yes... But first we must marry Omar off.

    [Cut to Omar and Johnny making love in the back room] 

  • Nasser : [to Omar]  In this damn country, which we hate and love, you can get anything you want. It's all spread out and available. That's why I believe in England. Only you need to know how to squeeze the tits of the system.

  • Nasser : [to Johnny]  I'm a professional businessman not a professional Pakistani. And there is no question of race in the new enterprise culture.

  • Papa : This damn country has done us in. That's why I'm like this. We should be there. Home.

    Nasser : But that country's been sodomised by religion. It's beginning to interfere with the making of money. Compared with everywhere... it's a little heaven, here.

  • Nasser : [Nasser bursts into the room where Johnny and Omar made love just moments before]  What the hell are you doing? Sunbathing?

    Omar : Asleep, Uncle. We were shagged out.

  • Nasser : [whilst having sex with his lover]  Christ, you move like a liner.

  • Nasser : [to Omar]  Nothing but a toilet and a youth club. A constant boil on my bum.

  • Nasser : [to Omar]  Okay, I charge you basic rent. The key you keep.

  • Nasser : What are you doing, boy?

    Omar : It will be going into profit any day now. Partly because I hired a bloke of astounding competence and strength of body and mind.

  • Nasser : Where are those two buggers?

  • Omar : What are you going to do with me?

    Nasser : What am I going to do with you? Turn you into something damn good.

  • Nasser : [to Omar]  On the other hand a little water on the brain might clear your thoughts.

  • Nasser : What bloke?

    Omar : He's called Johnny.

  • Nasser : [to Omar]  Bring Tania over here. Marry her. Well, what's wrong with her? When I say marry her, you damn well do it. Be nice to her, pressure off my fucking head. Your penis works doesn't it? Get going!

  • Nasser : I can't go back. Religion is sodomizing the country. It's getting in the way of making money.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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