Breeders (1986) Poster

(1986)

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4/10
Worthy Guilty Pleasure Cheapie [SPOILERS AHEAD!!]
Squonkamatic28 November 2004
Warning: Spoilers
After a couple months of wondering about it I finally sat through BREEDERS [as released by Wizard Video in 1986] and while it is far from even an "effective" movie it did have it's moments. THE PLOT: Young virgin white female women have been mysteriously snatched from the streets of lower Manhattan while nobody was looking -- in itself an improbability of such a high degree that it does not even rate mentioning -- only to turn up later as victims of sexual assault at "Manhattan General Hospital" where a young mulatto hottie doctor and a young police lieutenant who both look like fourth year NYU acting students decide that there is more to the incidents than meets the eye. The two embark on an hour long search through the lower bowels of the city, ending up in an abandoned subway line with nary a homeless person to be found, where they discover the "nest" of an alien life form who has come to the Earth in an effort to breed with our women. After all, what else WOULD a species capable of intergalactic space travel want from our ant-like civilization, other than our leggy bikini models? Since this is the only plot point of genuine interest I will leave out mention of the laughable special effects, wooden acting, improbable casting, dim-witted dialog, pedestrian cinematography, unlikable leads, numbskulled supporting characters [almost through here], idiot's perspective on life in NYC, and complete lack of understanding of how the subways work & why the idea of an "abandoned tunnel" at the 23rd Street exchange is ridiculous.

With all that aside now, this is actually a pretty interesting MasterCard budgeted film shot entirely in NYC, but not the NYC most filmgoers have become familiar with -- It is a Soho mentality world made up of cloistered studios, rooftops with water silos, lower Broadway's Fashion and NYU areas [I used to take classes up at 23rd and 8th Ave & enjoyed lunchtime walks down many of the streets used in exterior scenes whilst a slave rowing the Tower Records galleon right across from NYU] and the artsy/party slummers who populated it. The cast is made up almost entirely of unknowns who never really went on to do anything else, with only cult horror babe Amy Brentano [BLOOD SISTERS] making any kind of an impact as a cocaine snorting ex-gymnast bikini model who's photoshoot is rudely interrupted when the director mutates into an alien which proceeds to grope her leggy frame with it's gross tentical like appendages. To paraphrase Roger Ebert, I hate it when stuff like that happens.

The film's opening sixty minutes or so are pretty bad, with lots of talking and speculation over an "unknown biological substance" that the rape victims' bodies have been covered with, all of which serves to set up the movie's final 15 minute set-piece when it is revealed that this substance is alien sperm, and the women become covered with it while their naked bodies writhe in a steaming vat of the stuff four or five at a time -- an interesting twist on spawn reproduction techniques, provided that the women are attractive & willing enough. Director Kincaid is therefore forgiven for the film's innanities by providing a nice cross-section of caucaisian female types crawling around in the slippery gunk, though those viewers who may have been hoping for borderline pornography will doubtlessly be disappointed by results, which seems more like a waste of uncongealed geletain dessert than some sort of perverted group grope. The girls don't even interact with each other, not seeming to be really there even, and at the end the resourceful cop & doctor fry the sloppy mess with a handy electrical cable connected to the third rail. What a waste.

This movie was one of the first released straight to home video during the rental boon years of the 1980's and while a disappointment to be sure is worthy of some sort of cult status.

There are some nice parallels to LIQUID SKY [doubtlessly the movie's major influence] and Luigi Cozzi's ALIEN CONTAMINATION [with it's alien spores idea], an interesting electronic soundtrack, and some attractive babes with zero compunction about removing their clothes for the benefit of the camera, and there is something to be said for that.

Kincaid's 1986 movie is easily the more obscure & probably more fun, though snooty types who are insistent upon slick productions will find plenty to complain about, until the last 15 minutes that is, which should satisfy anyone with a taste for the naked & slippery prospects of alien movie hokum.

**1/2 out of ****
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Is There an Actor in the House?
BaronBl00d25 November 2004
Aliens come to downtown Manhattan and live underground only to come out and victimize virgin girls and impregnate them with alien seed. This movie is rubbish on so many levels. First of all, it is more of a soft core pornography film rather than a science fiction/horror film. Just about every female actress bares her top AND bottom. One dances nude to music for what seems like an eternity. The premise that all these girls are virgins crosses the line of suspension of disbelief credibility, as one, moments prior to her nude aerobics, snorts a line of cocaine. The film also suffers from some of the worst, uninspired acting I have seen in quite some time. None...and I mean none of the "talents" in this film can act. Little wonder none of them became successful. Teresa Farley, a beautiful girl, plays a doctor named Gamble out to solve the mystery of what is happening to these girls that appear to have been raped. She looks off while she utters her lines. Silences are a part of all the thespians' craft here. Poor acting notwithstanding, the plot is ludicrous. The special effects are nothing more than guys in rubber suits and blood coming out of mouths. I was very disappointed with this as the video box had some alien on it akin to what was in the movie Alien. Fat chance here! This film is nothing more than a voyeuristic foray into the adolescent mind of director Kinkaid. His abilities are practically nil as no suspense, no depth, and no storytelling are pervasive throughout. What you DO get are lots of girls disrobing in the most unlikely places, a group of women in some goo waving their arms, and aliens in rubber suits with big metal eyes in cheap sets populated by insincere, amateurish actors. This one is definitely NOT in the ranks of best in breed!
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Alien goo movie
Dr. Gore4 December 2002
*SPOILER ALERT* * SPOILER ALERT*

You might think this movie is about aliens. You'd be wrong. Sure there are aliens, and they do attack. But what the movie is really about is breasts. Female breasts. Naked female breasts.

Naked woman are attacked by aroused aliens. Yes. That's right. It looked cheap and tacky. It was cheap and tacky. Still a good time for an aliens on the hunt movie.

Near the end, all the naked women jump into a pot of alien goo. I'm not saying what's in that goo, but the title is "Breeders". A high point in B-movie moments.

It was sleaze to please. I was pleased.
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Single Aliens Seek..."Virgins"
lazarillo1 November 2004
This almost makes it into that truly rare category of a movie that's so bad it's actually entertaining--but not quite. Aliens are looking for virgins to impregnate. Why do they need virgins?--who knows. But New York City in the 1980's is definitely the wrong place to look for them. Of course, if there was anything virginal about the actresses they cast in this movie they probably wouldn't have been cast in this movie, but even the pristine credentials of the characters they play seem pretty suspect. One girl is a coke-snorting model (a group well known for their chastity). Another does her aerobics in the nude (obviously her extreme shyness would explain her intact maidenhood). You get the idea--this is the unlikeliest group of "virgins" to ever appear outside a porno film. But besides the "virgins" you have the "detective" who doesn't look like he's old enough to shave and the "aliens" who usually disguise themselves as random human males, probably because their rubbery suits are totally unconvincing. The dialogue is absolutely atrocious, especially the hilarious way everybody makes a long, dramatic pause before uttering the word. . . "virgin".

Many professional reviewers have pointed out how tasteless the climactic scene is where all these naked women writhe around in some kind of viscous alien fluid. Well, if you have any taste to begin with you wouldn't watch this movie long enough to get to that scene. If this movie was just a little more sleazy it would be a porno flick and this scene would be a great big . . . well, you get the idea. This movie isn't as good as the similar "Humanoids from the Deep", but at least the director didn't try to claim that Roger Corman or somebody went back and added all the gratuitous sex and nudity. (This would have been a 5-minute short without it). I'd only recommend this movie to sick perverts who enjoy completely tasteless, morally indefensible trash (not that that's necessarily a BAD thing. . .)
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10/10
An awesomely awful 80's direct-to-video sci-fi/horror atrocity
Woodyanders1 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
They're bad movies and then there's exceptionally atrocious, brain-numbing, please God make it stop jaw-stopping spectacles of sheer mind-rotting awfulness that are so utterly abominable that they defy belief and soar off into a stratosphere of extraordinary stinkiness that's a ghastly wonder to behold. "Breeders" qualifies as one of those special kind of schlocky treats. The gloriously sordid premise centers on an ugly, scaly, oversexed humanoid reptile lizard alien (actually, it's some poor schmoe in a laughably obvious and unconvincing rubber suit) who kidnaps and rapes a lovely assortment of Big Apple virgins so it can reproduce its species for an impending invasion. Colorless cop Lance Lewman and dull doctor Teresa Farley try to stop the evil extraterrestrial menace, but since they're both incredibly insipid and can't act their way out of a soggy cardboard box one quite frankly doesn't give a s**t if they succeed or not. Boy, does this beautifully botched baby contain all the right wrong stuff to rate highly as one four-star clinker: flat, uninspired (mis)direction by the chronically inept Tim Kincaid (who also makes gay porno under the name of Joe Gage), a grating synthesizer score, pathetic make-up f/x by Ed French (in one particularly pitiful scene the viewer can clearly see that the actor playing the hormonal alien is wearing sneakers!), plodding pacing, relentlessly cheap'n'chintzy production values, dire dialogue, and staggeringly putrid acting from the entire cast. Fortunately, there's a tasty plenitude of gratuitous distaff nudity from a smoking hot bunch of luscious young women; almost every luckless lass who gets attacked is either disrobing or in the shower when they get jumped. Special credit must be given here to the beauteous brunette hottie supreme Frances Raines, who performs a lengthy Jane Fonda-style aerobic workout clad only in her birthday suit that's leeringly lingered on by the filmmakers. A truly choice chunk of deliciously dreadful celluloid cheese.
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6/10
Awful-ly good
movieman_kev31 July 2012
Subterranean dwelling aliens come out of the sewers long enough to rape "virgins" in order to impregnate them with there extraterrestrial seed. A doctor and detective try to figure what the hell is going on.

I knew I was in for some ridiculous b-movie crap when even before the title-card shows up we're treated to, bad acting and boobs belonging to a body double in what could be the most obvious film flub ever. And boy oh boy, everyone's favorite gay-porn director, turned crappy b-horror film director, turned gay film director again, Tim Kincaid does not disappoint. Now when I use the term 'crap' for this film, I do so giving it the best most loving connotation. I live for this trash, but if your tolerance for sleaze and utterly atrocious acting isn't high, steer clear of this one as it most definitely is NOT for you.

Eye Candy: Frances Raine shows everything with naked yoga, LeeAnne Baker also shows all; Meanwhile Natalie O'Connell shows T&A and Adrianne Lee & Amy Brentino only show breasts (plus the aforementioned body double, and some topless extras)
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3/10
Invasion of the space spunk.
Zeegrade15 September 2009
After directing one of the most acting bereft movies of the 1980's, Robot Holocaust, gay porn director Tim Kincaid must have thought that all he needed to do was add more boobs in his next foray into mainstream film-making resulting in this straight to video T&A abomination.

Breeders begins with the rape of one of the sluttiest virgins I have ever seen by a "German" man who transforms into a bug-eyed alien. It goes downhill from here. At this point the rape victim is subjected to the worst bedside manner ever as Det. Dale Andriotti (Lance Lewman) and Dr. Gamble Pace (Teresa Farley) discuss her mutilation in all it's gory details about one foot from where she is recovering. Nice. Sadly, these two numbnuts are the main characters of this film. Dr. Pace tells Det. Andriotti, who would be more convincing cast as a paperboy, that a series of these rapes targeting virgins in New York City have become too numerous to be a coincidence. They begin to investigate the rapes together as Det. Andriotti seems to be the only police officer in the greater Manhattan area. These scenes are interspersed between supposed women of sexual purity in various forms of undress. These "virgins" engage in snorting cocaine, nude aerobics, nude cooking, and the sexually arresting nude phone conversation with their mother. Whatever the opposite of a hard-on is I've got it. Eventually all of the victims are summoned in the nude to an underground bath in, well, use your imagination. Thankfully Dr. Pace and Det. Andriotti battle the alien in an abandoned subway that is stocked full of supplies for dispatching the fiend. Perhaps they were really resourceful rats.

Everything about this movie screams amateur hour. To say that the performances are community college level would be an insult to those actors who couldn't afford money for a good school. Teresa Farley is particularly awful as she delivers her lines in the same monotone way while glancing offscreen, presumably to look at the cue cards. I have no problem with copious amounts of nudity but some of the women are more of the Bloodsucking Freaks nude for the sake of being nude variety. Little surprise from someone who's directing history consists of male locker rooms and public toilets. An eye for female beauty Mr. Kincaid has not. This movie was made for those that wanted to see naked women but didn't want to get caught coming out of that back room of the video store by one of his neighbors. "Oh, hi Mrs. Smith. What did I rent? Oh, it's just a sci-fi monster movie. See the scary alien on the box." Keep lying to yourself pervert!
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1/10
Naked Babes Frolic in Frothy Alien Goo!!
MooCowMo27 April 1999
Terrible, lowest-of-the-low budget 80's t&a teen horror flic from the creative "genius" of Tim Kincaid, the director who brought the world such appalling rubbish as "The Occultist", "Bad Girl's Dormitory", and the legendary awful "Robot Holocaust". What we have here is the bare minimum of any plot, direction, suspense, action, or production: basically it's an excuse to show off naked women. What story there is revolves around alien monsters who disguise themselves as humans in order to steal nubile young females to impregnate in order to create moore alien monsters, etc, etc. In that respect, "Breeders" fits neatly into the Very Guilty Pleasures department, along with such trash classics as "Humanoids from the Deep", "Invasion of the Bee Girls", and "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!". But if you're looking for horror, or even a reasonable facsimile thereof, don't look here. You rarely see the "alien monsters", and when you do they are astoundingly cheesy and fake-looking. Had 1 oz of brain been used to make this film, it would have at least been more respectable; now, teens just rent it to ogle the babes and laugh at the miserable fx. Don't confuse this frisky gobbler with the corny, pointless, even-worse 1998 film of the same name, starring the talentless, nubile Samantha Janus. At least Kincaid's Breeders has a minutae of entertainment value, however small. The penultimate scene showing the naked bimbos writhing in a vat of alien "goo" is a low point in film history, and a high point in trash cinema! MooCow says rent it for Trashy T&A Cinema night, but keep your hooves on the fast forward button!

;=8)
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Alien bug eyed monsters seek virgins in 80's New York
ihor-18 September 2004
Clearly a porn to R rated cross over. Talk about clueless acting! Serves as a primer for film students to clearly identify what's wrong and how to fix it. One thing is for sure, the director never said 'cut, let's do it again!'

I play a game with this quality of movie and try to spot the best actor. My surprise was that the SciFi channel showed the film with the naughty bits fuzzed out! I gave up after the first act! Teresa Farley's performance in the movie was missing, she was there but the monotone cue card reading was painfully obvious. Lance Lewman was worth watching however and pulled off quite a performance under the circumstances. Somewhat like a baseball player on a lousy team, what matters are good personal stats, which Lance earned. He goes on to appear in 3 more made fot TV movies.
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Please don't breed this movie!
bigtmass17 May 2003
Definitely the worst film I have seen in YEARS! Maybe the worst I have ever seen. Absolutely no plot, story or a thread of acting ability in this film. CHEAP on all levels of production. These people have had very little work since the film between them all, and thank god for that. It was probably hard finding this many people-whom lacked any talent at all-to put in a single film. My only question is, "How did this film get a 2.7 rating out of 10. I wish the rating scale had negatives. Maybe it got some votes for the constant naked breast shown in every other shot. Even that was done so badly it got boring. Do not waste your time or money, learn where I have failed.
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7/10
A Model's Worse Nightmare
jamhorner24 February 2008
This is a movie that I owned for such a long time, why? Because it was so bad, it was good. In my personal vision it was a huge guilty pleasure that I'm guilty of owning. The story tells of a mysterious occurrence of young virgin women getting raped and experiencing selective memory loss. The only problem is, the people who are responsible for this violent act some sort of slimy creature that lives beneath the city. Things become even more complicated when the DNA match turns out to be not human. What this movie does do a good job of is the gore and creature features that are peppered throughout this tale. However, what this movie does not do a good job is the acting. It had a very interesting concept of combining pornography with horror, through even with good intention it fell through the roof.

First off, this movie had some very good gore and creature effects that I did not expect this movie to have. When it came to things popping out of people's stomachs, tearing open skin, attacking people and horrific creature design, I will give this movie a standing ovation. There was one scene, in particular, that really mesmerized me when it came to make up and effects. Ted, one of the photographers, has one of the Breeders coming out of his chest and we see him tear open his chest skin while pockets of pink, slimy flesh start to pop out. That was probably the worse scene in the entire movie. There was a great "Scanners" scene were a head explodes and a Breeder emerges and a horrifically creepy end scene where all the virgin women are bathing in a pool of alien sperm. This movie just freaks me out when it comes to make-up and creature features.

The acting in the movie was far from good, though surprisingly not the worse. You have Teresa Farley, who plays Dr. Pace, and Lance Lewman, who plays Det. Andriotti who had some great potential but they were much too somber even when things were coming to a boil. They didn't seem dedicated to their role or even put effort into trying to look panicked or scares. One line of dialogue, uttered by Lewman's character, should have been yelled but instead it was said, "Your f**king bananas." You have painfully over-dramatic roles that came from Frances Raines, Natalie O'Connell, Amy Brentano and LeeAnn Baker, otherwise known as the main virgins in this movie. The movie wants you to feel sorry for them, but they all seemed too stuck up and paranoid for me to feel sorry for them. In other words, they were begging to be taken.

What this movie tried to do and I will give them credit for a good concept with good intentions, was to combine "soft" core porn with a horror movie. There were plenty of scenes with naked women and a lot of sexual related themes; in fact, it's almost like a reworking or even homage to Cronenberg's Shivers. However, after seeing so much nakedness the nudity became overrated and very redundant, like there was no need for a woman to come home to her kitchen and just strip to take a shower. It's almost like the girls wanted the role so that they can show off what they have, only problem is, they have nothing to show off. They tried to combine suspense with this concept and it just looked weird and awkward for an alien to attack and rape a naked young girl. It just seemed way too uncomfortable for any kind of thing to do that.

Overall, there was some bad acting and a failed concept of horror-porn and some top notch creature effects, but I enjoy watching this film for those exact reasons. I have my share of guilty pleasures, two being Chopping Mall and Snakes on a Plane, and this is another timeless classic that failed when it came out, but has a cult following. I would recommend this movie to those who enjoy cult classics as well as any horror movie fan, though if you are younger then you may want to avoid it because of the nudity. In my opinion, its probably one of the great cheesy and stupid horror / sci-fi movies of the 80 and I think it will go down as a timeless classic.
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* out of 4.
brandonsites198119 August 2002
The women of a major city are getting naked and doing daily household routines in the buff. An alien intent on reproducing, rapes the naked women that are supposed to be virgins (yeah right). Can someone put an end to the violence? Boring, dull horror flick never generates a chuckle despite bad dialogue and off the wall acting or any excitement despite a cast of hot women in a constant state of undress.

R; Nudity, Rape, Graphic Violence.
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10/10
An Honest Review
generationofswine15 January 2019
So I saw this when I was about 10, late at night, on HBO. I'm pretty sure it was HBO at least.

At any rate I watched it before I was aware of Hentai or Anime, or whatever it's called. I remember back in the day, when it was on USA (I think) they billed it as Japanimation--which depending on how you read it is either Japan-Imation or incredibly racist.

Which is probably why they don't call it that anymore.

Anyway, "Breeders" is like the live action version of most of those cartoons. It's really nudity + monster rape. All they needed to add was school girls in sailor uniforms and it would exactly like the worst stereotype of one of those Anime cartoons.

However, it is also incredibly 80s and that decade knew how to do cliched cheesy pretty well. So it's Anime meets the 80s Cheese meets horrible horror movie. So, really, it's incredibly fun to watch.

So I am giving it 10 out of 10 stars because it entertains, because despite the fact that it is a really bad movie, it's also a very fun movie to watch.
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It's only 80 minutes.
drhackenstine2 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Typical '80's garbage horror that we all have seen before. I remember many years ago, I saw a movie late one night on Cinemax called Breeders, and then a year later the same movie was on TNT Monster Vision. I watched it again trying to get some sleep. Three years ago, I was at a party and a movie on The Sci-Fi Channel was on, and it was called Breeders, but it was not the Breeders I saw years earlier. This one had much more nudity (Sci-Fi blurred it out) and was very '80's-ish.So watch out, there are two Breeders out there, even though they are both about the same quality of movie. I bought a used copy of this Breeders, and just got done watching it. If you like the cheese horror of two decades ago, then you will not have a hard time sitting through this movie. There is plenty of dumb, flubbed lines, nudity, actresses who do not pull off the characters they are portraying, and whatever it is you look for in a movie like this. It's okay. Story is about virgins in Manhattan being raped by aliens. They go into a trance, walk naked through the city and swim in a bath of alien sperm (huh?). Yeah. Features a alien/human baby that gets beaten and stabbed, blood squirting on walls, women screaming at monster shadows, and some cheesy, yet moist, special effects.I liked this film better then the other movie called Breeders.Two and a half stars.
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3/10
They Must Be Stopped...
barnthebarn22 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Empire and Wizard Video released this one. Star Ed French also does the special effects (talented guy). The three 'herione' virgins look too 'well-trodden' to be believable as naive nubiles. They are so shy and sweet yet wear no underwear and often sun-bathe in tiny bikinis (hence very very small area tan marks). After clothes removal which does not take long and happens very often a man usually turns up ready for some action (no fumbling for protection, oh no, just do it quick, the world might end!). However just as things get really hot a stupid slimy mutant baby thing shows up and though masculine it is just too young to join in. So what does it do? Well you would think it would use its powers to transform into a man (maybe not a slimy one though) but no simply killing the most horny guy on earth gives this little tyke its kicks. The silly ending really does not matter. Spcial mention to the script though, classic bits including "I know priests who are rapists"; "It's not like you're after my body" (randomly naked lead female character who is working out at the gym randomly naked and her reaction to horny guy walking in on her in her compromising nakedness); "Ted is gay..." (female character to police officer) "Maybe or maybe not, just real clever" (Police officer)...Ummm, classy stuff!
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5/10
10 stars for the button hunk, zero for the naked chicks
lite_fuzz27 November 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Thanks to the wonderful fast-frames feature Netflix provides for their streaming movies, you can watch this truly awful movie in about a minute and a half.

Who would ever actually sit and watch this in real time? Or could? But clipping along at 16x, its actually kind of fun. Is there any purpose for making this movie other than showing blood-drenched naked chicks having sex? No, of course not. But it fulfills this rather well. So unless you get off on this (I don't), there's no point seeing it unless you just enjoy watching a truly awful movie (I do).

So...imagine my joyful surprise when this incredibly hot super-hunk shows up wanting to play button, then rips off his leather jacket. Woof! 10 stars for the bare-chested Pat Rizzolino, billed as the intruder (and we were led to believe this was the safe part of the East Village!)

Thanks, Mr. Gage!
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Worst Film
eliz72128 April 2002
I just saw this the other night on the sci-fi channel. They had the nerve to filter all the nude scenes. Now what is wrong with a woman's body. They were not doing anything porno or in anyway offensive. They were just nude. This was the stupidest film I had ever seen. The acting was absolutely the pits. I could not believe they paid these actors to do this film. I wonder if any of them acted in a film after making this one. Bad Bad Bad
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1/10
Like A Virgin… Alienated for the very first time!
Coventry21 August 2006
"Breeders" might very well be the absolute most retarded horror movie of the 1980's and that's quite an achievement on itself, since this entire decade (apart from a couple notable exceptions) was marked with stupid & pointless horror movies. You can hardly refer to this as a "movie", by the way, because there's no script, not the slightest bit of continuity and not even an attempt to build up some tension. Then…why bother? Because it has boobs! And lots of them!! The entire film is just a very poor excuse to show naked ladies when they're showering, practicing aerobics, changing outfits or bathing all together in a gooey alien-whirlpool (we'll get back to that later!). For no particular reason, horny aliens (I'm still not sure whether it's just one or a group) land in downtown Manhattan and immediately begin to sexually assault the few remaining local virgins. A not-so-intelligent police inspector and an inexperienced female doctor start to investigate, but they discover…nothing! Meanwhile, more girls get raped and they're all guided back – under alien hypnosis – to the Manhattan sewer system where they all bath together in slime! What the hell? Okay, the only positive thing you can possibly say about "Breeders" is that it's an acceptable guilty pleasure! You can switch off all brain-activities whilst enjoying the explicit nudity and the campy gore-effects, but everything else is simply insufferable. All the cast members deserve to die a most horrible death and it was a very wise career choice for writer/director Tim Kincaid to continue in the gay porn business.
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3/10
Unpleasant breeding!
lost-in-limbo22 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
In Manhattan young virgin women are being viciously raped by who the police believe to be a crazy serial rapists, but unknown to them it's something far more sinister and out-of-this-world. It takes a doctor and a police detective to discover that this unearthly predator is impregnating these women for a world invasion, which leads them to its nest in an abandoned underground subway system.

Oh brother, you can't get any bad than this! "Breeders" is a shoestring production that clearly looks it and provides nothing more but a distasteful, exploitive schlock fest of the very bad and quite haggard kind. Well, the cheesy 80s breaks through again with such an amateurish set-up found in every single avenue of this stingy production. Although it's not without its perks. But these factors really do pale in comparison to the downright awfulness of this uninspired trite. The most startling images are the gratuitous nudity that flows freely in what you call simply redundant build-ups. Well, they would be more redundant if these women were ugly, but that's not the case and the director knew it by exploiting every opportunity he had. Gee, some ladies just got their gear off for no apparent reason, so the camera had something to focus on. Since there was basically nothing much else to look at with its inane looking props. And these girls are supposed to be virgins and strangely enough they are pretty easy to come by… right-o. The wicked make-up effects and sloppy blood splatter were okay for such a project, but damn that alien costume (guy in a black rubber suit that's cross between; "Alien" and "The Fly") design was horrid! Hmm, I think that's all the good things and it can raise up a couple of unintentional chuckles.

Now onto the bad, but where to start. The lifeless direction by Tim Kincaid is simply non-existent and guess who wrote the pitiful story; yep that's right Kincaid. Juvenile crass is best to describe the senseless plot, which has many erratic mood swings and meaningless inclusions. It just feels like it was made as they went along and the mind-blowing origin to this monster will have you thinking "pure genius… haha, I think not". The cringe-worthy dialogues are very forced and unbelievably inept of anything remotely reasonable. And it was even drier with its lack of sharp humour… but who knows maybe Kincaid thought it had its humorous moments. The pathetic performances from a clumsy cast ranges from bluntly robotic to terribly hokey. The foxy ladies on show are nothing more than pretty faces and when they open their mouths… oh the pain! Their blaring screaming was more bearable. While, the guys are simply background features. These senseless characters are incredibly dumb-as-can-be with them providing more to the risible horny alien attacks and a dopey finale where the characters stand around looking stupid and taking ages to realise what they need just happens to be there. Like always! A hilarious scene involving a character called Ted (who wears snazzy sunnies) and his hobbies being explained by his very worried mother boldly goes out of its way to scares us with her rambles. The electronic score is annoyingly weary. Kincaid fails at any sort of atmosphere or suspense; there's just next to nothing with the usual shock conclusion plastered on and the (Oh no, watch out its shadow is creeping up!) build-ups with the creature stalking it's hosts, which leaves a lot to be desired. Because you'll be asking where the hell did that come from and how didn't someone notice it. It must just be a very good sneaker. Watch out, as this half-ass production bares all… and quite a lot of breasts too.

If you have a hankering for absurdly, cheap bottom of the barrel trashy sleaze. Here you go.
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2/10
Time hasn't been kind to this one.
swind7415 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I picked up this one since I have an affinity for 70's and 80's deadly animal flicks. The reviews said this one would fall squarely into this sub-subgenre.

Since this one was released in 1986, I guess it would be fair to compare it to a similar film from that year, The Fly. Some of the makeup effects and general atmosphere are similar, but Breeders falls way short of Cronenberg's work. Plots aren't fully explored, the acting is painful to watch (except for the guy who plays Ira), and you never get a grasp as to what the titular creatures look like. I was willing to allow for a little clumsiness in the appearance of the creature(s), since this was pre-CGI, but I was disappointed.

I suppose if you have a thing for 80's hairstyles on unclothed ladies, then this one may suit your late-night fancy. Otherwise, go watch Cronenberg's work again, or take a look at Piranha, Razorback, or Squirm.
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1/10
Jippy-Dippty-Flop.
lambiepie-226 April 2003
I don't know what to make of this movie except to wonder who let this movie be made. This film seemed like it started out to be one of those Adult-Film scripts that someone else got a hold of and said, "Hey, I can add to it and make it more mainstream!" To be honest, it would have been horrid as an adult X-rated film, and it is horrible as an R-rated film. It's so "T & A" its ridiculous. I think it would have been alot better if they HAD went to the adult film genre to cast some of these folks. The idea of some outer space, etc., creatures coming down to earth to "re-populate" their dying species is not a new one...in Sci-fi, Horror or..in adult rated films. Neither was sending the creatures to "slimy" 1980-esque New York City to do so. But this was just a bunch of bad acting, bad special effects, bad writing..with not one redeeming quality to it. It's not campy, it just stupid. I guess in our Sci-Fi heart of hearts, we all wanted the film to go "somewhere" with it's theme, but it just kept going into the gutter. Pass on this one.
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1/10
Pornographic Rubbish
Agaric9 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This movie goes leaps and bounds beyond even the worst bargain-bin horror fare. I am an avid viewer of cheap horror films for humor purposes, yet "Breeders" was a chore to even watch through to its conclusion. Horrid acting, laughable monsters with an even more laughable premise, and garish production make this one too bad to even touch.

The premise of the movie is as insulting as it is implausible. The alien who lives under New York city apparently can only breed with "virgin" human women for an undisclosed purpose (no alien births or even a sign of pregnancy appear in the film). However, this technicality which seems to form the backbone of the movie is utterly silly. A cocaine using ballet student and a thirty-something woman who dresses in leopard print are a couple of the five to seven "virgins" who appear naked and raped by this alien. The nudity of the female actors borders on exploitation, as obligatory shower and nude dancing scenes ensue. The final straw is the climax of the movie in which a showdown takes place not with the lecherous alien, but with the bevy of nude alien rape victims in a vat of white goo, rubbing up against each other. More disgustingly extraneous than anything, it is a new height of callousness even for shoddy science fiction pornography.

The rest goes without saying. The acting is too wooden for words and the plot is predictable. The alien makes those on Flash Gordon and the original Star Trek look real, as the actor wearing the suit is visibly wearing black boots. If this movie wasn't so sexually explicit, it would have made fantastic fodder for MST3K. Avoid this movie even if you enjoy poorly made, low budget sci-fi/horror flicks.
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4/10
It's a case like this that makes me want to kill every man ever born.
lastliberal4 July 2010
Warning: Spoilers
OK, this is definitely a guilty pleasure and not a movie where you will see quality acting or dazzling special effects.

What you will see are breasts; lots of breasts, and derrières, too. We even get to see a naked workout by model Amy Brentano. After a photo shoot, she does a line, and gives us a good naked workout. Teen boys will be thrilled. There is even the requisite shower scene with another victim.

Aliens are looking for virgins, and there are far more than you would believe. I mean, can a girl be a virgin if she snorts cocaine and does naked workouts. It's possible, but hardly believable.

After the victims recover from their rape, then they go walking nude around the city searching for their new masters.

The end was a real pleasure. They were all together under the city writhing around in alien sperm. Writer/director Tim Kincaid certainly had a breast fetish.
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Fulfills Promise
Catnap225 February 2004
So many girlie horror films seems to forget their function. Seems as if they start out with the right intentions (lots of barely dressed babes) then get caught up in some higher power. Out goes the babes, in comes the "acting", plot, etc. Result - a worthless movie that appeals to no one!

If you want to see Sophie's Choice, rent Sophie's Choice. Don't expect Breeders to be Sophie's Choice.

Fortunately, the filmamkers had no such aspirations. The girls are plently pretty and plenty exposed. If only the lovely doctor would have been one of them, I would have given this move a 10. As it was, it gets a 8.5. Great movie, for what it was supposed to be.
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