4.7/10
1,659
21 user 40 critic

Malibu Express (1985)

A womanizing private detective is assigned the task of investigating who is behind the hi-tech computer technology leaks to the Russians.

Director:

Andy Sidaris

Writer:

Andy Sidaris
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Darby Hinton ... Cody Abilene
Sybil Danning ... Contessa Luciana
Art Metrano ... Matthew
Shelley Taylor Morgan Shelley Taylor Morgan ... Anita Chamberlain
Brett Baxter Clark ... Shane (as Brett Clark)
Niki Dantine ... Lady Lillian Chamberlain
Lori Sutton Lori Sutton ... Beverly
Lorraine Michaels Lorraine Michaels ... Liza Chamberlain
Lynda Wiesmeier ... June Khnockers
Kimberly McArthur Kimberly McArthur ... Faye
Barbara Edwards ... May
Abb Dickson Abb Dickson ... P. L. Buffington
Busty O'Shea Busty O'Shea ... Doreen Buffington
Randy Rudy Randy Rudy ... Bobo Buffington
Michael A. Andrews Michael A. Andrews ... Stuart Chamberlain (as Michael Andrews)
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Storyline

Smooth-talking Texan sexy cowboy and ambitious private investigator Cody Abilene is assigned by the cryptic Contessa Luciana with the task of watching over the eccentric and well-off Lady Lillian Chamberlain after following up on a lead. In the meantime, an elusive traitor and a serious threat to National security is acting as a courier stealing state-of-the-art computer technology right under the government's nose and selling it back to the Russians. Inevitably, the bodies will soon start piling up as the inconspicuous Cody who infiltrates the luxurious Chamberlain's villa in Bel-Air will unearth a family member's involvement with a project led by the nefarious computer magnate Jonathan Harper. Without a doubt, someone wants desperately Cody dead, however, between murder, blackmail and espionage, good old Cody will always help any woman in distress because after all, there will always be knights in the world. Written by Nick Riganas

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Packing Heat From Texas To Malibu Beach! See more »


Certificate:

R | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

View content advisory »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

The protagonist drives an orange Delorean DMC-12 with can be seen entering and exiting the car through the gull-wing doors. The movie was released three months before Back to the Future, the movie in which this car would become one of the most iconic cars of all time. See more »

Goofs

When walking around the house, Maid Marion instantly switches between smooth tights and fishnets. See more »

Quotes

Cody Abilene: We're in big trouble.
June Khnockers: No shit, Kemo Sabe.
Cody Abilene: You don't understand. I only have one bullet left and I've never hit a moving target in my life. Here he comes.
June Khnockers: [Stands up and exposes her breasts] Hey, look at these!
Luke: [Stops and stares] Yeah!
[Cody shoots Luke]
See more »

Crazy Credits

Dedicated to Jack Smilow. See more »

Connections

Remake of Stacey (1973) See more »

Soundtracks

Faye and May March
Written by Henry Strzelecki
See more »

User Reviews

 
Apparently this is one of Sidaris's better films, which makes me scared.
6 April 2012 | by BA_HarrisonSee all my reviews

This is the first film I've watched from my Andy Sidaris 12-film box set (aptly titled Girls, Guns and G-Strings) and if I had any sense it would probably be the last (sadly, I have very little nous when it comes to my choice in film, so it looks like I have my work cut out for me). Sidaris's formula is simple: dumb action films with dumb heroes and sexy women. The men boast big 'taches, big guns and big muscles; the women sport big hair, big tits, and unfeasibly tiny outfits. But while this might sound like B-movie heaven, in Sidaris's hands, it all proves rather tiresome, the deliberate trashiness becoming really boring, really quick.

The plot to Malibu Express comes second to the macho posturing and female nudity, so I won't go into detail, other than to say that it's about industrial espionage and it's crap—not that the action is much better, consisting of poorly choreographed fight scenes, unconvincing shootouts, and the occasional car chase. Even worse is the comic relief, which comes in the form of a family of obnoxious, obese hicks who repeatedly challenge cowboy private eye Cody to drag races—imagine Enos from The Dukes of Hazzard, crossed with Sheriff J.W. Pepper from Bond, the Beverly Hillbillies, and those bikers from Every Which Way You Can, and you still won't come close to how inane and irritating these characters are.

The women are, of course, all attractive (fat hillbilly mother and wheelchair-bound matriarch aside), all over-sexed, and all over the hero, meaning that there are regular bouts of soft-core sex. With such regular titillation on display, it soon loses its novelty factor. Who would have thought that big tits could become tedious? I had more fun keeping a mental tally of the shower scenes and marvelling at the treasure trove of now defunct technology that is on display throughout the film (Cody drives a Delorean, and is mighty proud of his pager and micro-cassette Dictaphone; bad guy Shane opted for Betamax to record his sex sessions).

Malibu Express's wall-to-wall hot totty means that, according to my strict(ish) code, I am compelled to give the film a 4/10; Sybil Danning topless always earns another point, making it a 5 in total, but on no account take that rating as a recommendation.


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Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

March 1985 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

Malibu Express See more »

Filming Locations:

Beverly Hills, California, USA See more »

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Box Office

Budget:

$500,000 (estimated)
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Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Mono

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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