Letter to Brezhnev (1985)
Sergei: [speaking Russian] Pyotr, smotri! Bystro! Vot Liverpool!
[Peter, look! Quick! There's Liverpool!]
Peter: You vwork?
Elaine: No. I wish I did... but there is a bit of a work problem in England at the moment.
Peter: You know, in Soviet Union if you don't work you don't eat.
Elaine: It's a bit like that here as well.
Elaine: How long are you in Liverpool for?
Peter: Ah, for just one day. Tomorrow - to Scotland, and after, home. To Soviet Union.
Elaine: What about all the food shortages?
Peter: There are no food shortages.
Elaine: But we read about it all the time in the papers about how you have to queue to buy food and all that.
Peter: We read the same about you. Queues are not caused by shortages, queues are forming because the person in charge of distribution is a cretin.
Peter: Hey, do you see that star?
Elaine: Which one? That big one just there?
Peter: Yea. The brightest one in the sky. It reminds me of my home. Every night from my bed, I look through my window and see it shining in the sky. And when I am away from Soviet Union, I look to the star and it makes me feel at home.
Elaine: Well, from now on, every time I see that star, it'll remind me of you.
Elaine: Is that all you have to say to me, I should have fucked him when I had the chance?
Teresa: You know what I'd do? I'd get a gorgeous photo of myself, lash it in an envelope, and I'd write a dead nice letter to that fellow... hey Vinny, what's his name?
Teresa: The president of Russia.
Vinny: Brezhnev, isn't it?
Teresa: That's it.
Elaine: Teresa! Why didn't I think of that? Oh, I love you!
Teresa: Where are you going?
Elaine: To write a letter to Brezhnev!
Elaine: [writing letter, voice over] ... I just need to be with Peter again, he loves me, and I deeply love him, our love stretches over two continents. You're my last and only hope, the British authorities have done nothing to help me, so I leave my heart in your hands. I ask only to see him again and offer you the hand of friendship and sincerity from an ordinary Kirkby girl. Yours hopefully, Elaine Spencer.
Father: Who the fuck is this Peter anyway? We've never even met him yet.
Elaine: He's the man I love, the man I'm gonna marry. And if being with him means going to live in Russia, then that's the way it's gonna be.
Elaine: See that? These here are my tickets for freedom. These say I can get on a plane, get out of here and leave. These say I can leave, why can't you?
Mother: I've never put my foot down with you, girl. Never.
Elaine: Mum,I don't care what you say or how you are trying to bully me, but my mind's made up. I'm going and that's that. Sovwhy don't you just sit down, get your wool out and knit yourself an iron curtain?
Reporter: So, you're a communist then?
Elaine: No, I'm a human being. Communists aren't exactly the flavour of the month in England, are they?
Elaine: Look lad, what are you getting at?
Reporter: The truth.
Elaine: The truth is there was no filth or smut. We love each other.
Reporter: Yeah. I'm sure.
Elaine: But if you want me to make something up for you, you know, something to titillate your readers, something cheap and kinky...
Reporter: You see, I think your whole story is kinky, dear. Most people are trying to get out of Russia, not in.
Reporter: And you think that the president of the Soviet Union could possibly interested in your... dilemma?
Elaine: No, I don't. But at least he did write back to me and send me a plane ticket, which is more than the British embassy did, isn't it?
Elaine: You just take a walk and look in any back kitchen around here and you'll soon see food shortages. Look lad, going to live in Russia can't be any worse than living around here, so why are you trying to discourage me from escaping.
Charlie's Girlfriend: Hey - who the fuck are you giving your dirty looks to?
Elaine: [to Peter] Come on, shall we go?
Charlie's Girlfriend: You better had, love.
Teresa: And I think you'd better give your face back to the second hand shop you got it from.
Charlie's Girlfriend: Slut.
Teresa: I know I love it - like yourself.
Tracy: Is me mazzie smudged, is me hair up straight ?
Elaine: Tracy - you put a whole can of lacquer on that - it'd take a monsoon to shift that lot.
Elaine: I'd love to go to Russia. Where're you from? Moscow?
Peter: No. I'm from the south. It's a very small town, on the Black Sea.
Elaine: What's it like there? Is it nice?
Peter: Very beautiful. You know, people from all over Soviet Union go there in summer for... beach.
Peter: [to Elaine] The only real shortage in Soviet Union is that of beutiful girls... like you.
Elaine: For all I know you could have given that star to every girl you met. I could be sharing it with a load of broken hearts from Bournemouth to Bangkok. I'm not stupid, you know. I know what type of life sailors live.
Elaine: You've been to the moon. You've been there twice, haven't you, Tracy? You just don't see any good in people, do you?
Tracy: Not in communist Russians, I don't.
Teresa: [Having just stolen a man's wallet who paid her to dance with him] He wanted to buy a dance! Well he got the most expensive dance in the world!