Betty White credited as playing...
- Rose: I don't think lying is really a good idea. I once cut school and that proved very bad.
- Dorothy: Oh, Rose. We've all cut school. It couldn't have been that bad.
- Rose: Oh, yes it was. That was the day they taught EVERYTHING.
- Dorothy: The final piece of the puzzle.
- Rose: My mother always used to say: "The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana."
- [after a leaky night, Rose comes out of her room carrying a bucket]
- Dorothy: Aw, Rose, did you have a leak in your room too?
- Rose: No, Dorothy. I was just milking the cow I keep in my closet. Wow, with only three hours of sleep, I can be as bitchy as you!
- Rose: You don't understand. Everyone likes me-I'm the nice one! Dorothy is the smart one, Blanche is the sexy one, Sophia is the old one, and I'm the nice one! EVERYBODY likes me!
- Sophia: The old one isn't so crazy about you.
- Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
- Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.
- Blanche: What was your first impression of me?
- Rose: I thought you wore too much makeup and were a slut. I was wrong. You don't wear too much makeup.
- Rose: Well, I'm here if you want to pick my brain.
- Dorothy: Rose, honey. Maybe we should leave it alone and let it heal.
- Sophia: Rose, just remember, you're smarter than people say you are. You've got good sense, and you know what you're doing.
- Rose: Oh, Sophia.
- Sophia: Blanche, you're a slut.
- Blanche: Oh, Sophia.
- [Rose and Dorothy are attempting to move a new toilet into the bathroom]
- Rose: Oh, don't give up, Dorothy. If the ancient Egyptians could move twenty ton stone blocks to build the pyramids, we can move a toilet.
- Dorothy: Fine, Rose. Get me twenty thousand Hebrews and I'll see what I can do.
- Blanche: You know what I hate doing most after a party?
- Rose: Trying to find your underwear in the big pile?
- Rose: Now, I know no one wants to hear any of my stories right now...
- Dorothy: That's always a safe bet, Rose.
- Rose: ...but you need to hear about my cousin Ingmar. He was different. He used to do bird imitations.
- Blanche: Well, what's wrong with that?
- Rose: Well, let's just say you wouldn't want to park your car under their oak tree.
- [Sophia arrives from the rest home by taxi]
- Rose: You must be tired after your cab trip.
- Sophia: Why? I RODE in the cab! I didn't push it!
- Rose: This reminds me of something that happened back in St. Olaf.
- Dorothy: Oh, Rose, stop! Rose, why is it that every time one of us makes an observation, the first thing we hear from you is "Back in St. Olaf?" I mean, did it ever occur to you that maybe we're tired of hearing "Back in St. Olaf," "Back in St. Olaf," "Back in St. Olaf!"
- Rose: Gee, no, I... I'm sorry.
- Dorothy: Oh... that's okay.
- Rose: [pauses for a moment to rethink her approach] Back in that town whose name you're tired of hearing...
- Dorothy: ROSE!
- Rose: [Rose is checking Sophia into the hospital] Name?
- Sophia: Zulu, Queen of the Dwarf People.
- Rose: Like we say in St. Olaf, Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy.
- Blanche: Well, just tell him you have a lot of work at home.
- Rose: I don't want to lie.
- Blanche: When you get home, we'll make you clean out the garage.
- Rose: Oh thanks, I owe you big for this one.
- Rose: You know what they say: you can lead a herring to water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die.
- [Rose and Dorothy confront Blanche about sleeping with Gil Kessler, Rose says to Blanche regarding the newspaper article]
- Rose: Then why does it say the explosion was so great it shattered windows in a building 10 blocks away?
- Dorothy: [Holding her head] Rose, that was an article about an earthquake in GUATEMALA.
- Dorothy: What are you trying to say, Rose? Weddings make you HOT?
- Rose: YES!
