Mark Shermin: Have people from your world been here before?
Starman: Before yes. We are interested in your species.
Mark Shermin: You mean you're some kind of anthropologist? Is that what you're doing here? Just checking us out?
Starman: You are a strange species. Not like any other. And you'd be surprised how many there are. Intelligent but savage. Shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you?
Starman: You are at your very best when things are worst.
[Starman is driving the car, and speeds across a recently turned red light, causing crashes for the other motorists]
Jenny Hayden: Okay? Are you crazy? You almost got us killed! You said you watched me, you said you knew the rules!
Starman: I do know the rules.
Jenny Hayden: Oh, for your information pal, that was a *yellow* light back there!
Starman: I watched you very carefully. Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast.
Jenny Hayden: Love is, um, it's when you care more for someone else than you do yourself.
Jenny Hayden: What's it like up there?
Starman: It is beautiful. Not like this, but it is beautiful. There is only one language, one law, one people. There is no war, no hunger. The strong do not victimize the helpless. We are very civilized, but we have lost something, I think. You are all so much alive, all so different. I will miss the cooks and the singing and the dancing. And the eating! - - And the other things.
Cook: [to Starman] You're not from around here, are you?
Jenny Hayden: Don't mind him. He's just learning English.
Roadhouse Waitress: Well, he's got a hell of a start on it!
Jenny Hayden: [the Starman is about to depart Earth] Take me with you!
Starman: I cannot.
Jenny Hayden: Please!
Starman: You would die there.
Jenny Hayden: I don't care!
Starman: [pause, then:] I care.
[Starman and Jenny are looking at a dead deer strapped to the hood of a car]
Deer Hunter: Cried when you saw Bambi?
Starman: Define 'Bambi'?
Deer Hunter: Huh?
Jenny Hayden: He doesn't understand, he's not from around here.
Deer Hunter: [laughs] You don't speaking English, huh? Heh-hey!
[walks away snickering]
Jenny Hayden: [to Starman] Steer clear of that bozo.
Starman: Define 'bozo'?
Jenny Hayden: Jerk.
George Fox: Do you seriously expect me to tell the President that an alien has landed, assumed the identity of a dead housepainter from Madison, Wisconsin and is presently out tooling around the countryside in a hopped up orange and black 1977 Mustang?
Cook: What's your line?
Starman: [imitates Cook's gruff affect] Line?
Cook: Work. Whaddya do when you're not hitchin' rides?
Starman: Oh, I make maps.
Cook: Make any money?
Starman: [pauses] I make maps.
Cook: Well, you don't get rich cookin' either!
[Fox looks in diner to verify that Starman and Jenny Hayden have been set free]
George Fox: Shermin, you are finished. I will have you eviscerated for this.
Mark Shermin: 'ell, as much as I hate to stoop to symbolism.
[Shermin takes a puff from cigar and blows smoke into Fox's face]
[the Starman has followed a trucker into the men's room. He stands and observes the trucker using the urinal and smiles at him]
Trucker: [muttering] Every goddamn place you go!
[Trucker zips up angrily and moves to leave. Starman tries the new phrase and gesture he'd just learned from observing the full-service pump attendant]
Starman: [gives a thumbs up] Take it easy.
Trucker: [gives the middle finger] Up yours!
[the trucker leaves Starman to ponder this experience alone]
Starman: [gestures thumbs-up with one hand, mouths] Take it easy.
Starman: [gestures middle finger with other hand, mouths] Up yours.
[Starman nods to himself, deciding that this must be the correct social pattern for human good-byes]
George Fox: [referring to the word "greetings"] It's also what the cannibal said to the missionary just before he ate him.
Mark Shermin: Well, I guess the question is who's the missionary, and who are the cannibals?
Mark Shermin: [after seeing the pathology table with straps, bitterly:] Welcome to Planet Earth.
Starman: [after seeing the dead deer] Do deer eat people?
Jenny Hayden: No.
Starman: Do people eat people?
Jenny Hayden: Of course not. What do you think we are?
Starman: I think you are a very primitive species.
Starman: [with mouth full] That Dutch apple pie!
Jenny Hayden: It's good, huh?
Starman: [Starman swallows, imitates the waitress's "OK" gesture and words] It's terrific!
Jenny Hayden: [samples his pie, nods] For a primitive species we have our points.
Starman: [speaks Chinese]
Jenny Hayden: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven...
Starman: As the Secretary General of the United Nations, an organization of 147 member states who represent almost all of the inhabitants of the Planet Earth
Starman: I send greetings.
George Fox: Good. I'm glad you're here.
Mark Shermin: What the hell is this about?
George Fox: You're a man of some scientific attainment. You mean to tell me you don't recogonize an emergency autopsy room when you see one?
Mark Shermin: With leather tie straps?
George Fox: You behave yourself, Mark.
Starman: What is kid-nap-ped?
Jenny Hayden: You want to know what kidnapped is? It's being dragged out of your house in the middle of the night by some... whatever you are... being forced to drive all night with a gun pointed at your side and not knowing where you're going or what's going to happen to you when you get there. So if you're going to shoot me, go ahead! Because I'd rather be shot than go on being scared to death.
Starman: [points the gun at Jenny's head]
Jenny Hayden: Go ahead!
Starman: [releases the clip from the gun] I mean you no harm, Jenny Hayden.
Starman: I send greetings.
Brad Heinmuller: What the hell's going on here?
Jenny Hayden: I'm being kidnapped!
Brad Heinmuller: You better let her go pal, I'll give you some greetings.
Deer Hunter: [after almost getting run over by Jenny] Hey, take it easy!
Starman: [gives him the middle finger through the car window] Up yours!
Deer Hunter: I'm going to get that son of a bitch!
Jenny Hayden: [sees Starman looking like Scott]
Jenny Hayden: Scott?
Starman: [picks up gun]
Jenny Hayden: You're not Scott!
Starman: ...not... Scott...
Jenny Hayden: You really are some kind of - Martian or something, aren't you? What do you want here? What are you - doing? What do you want with me? Where are you taking me? Why do you look so much like Scott?
Starman: I Can't Get No - Satisfaction.
Jenny Hayden: That does it!
[hits the breaks]
Jenny Hayden: I have to go to the bathroom. The ladies room. The restroom. It's when a person has to - um - oh, the hell with it. You figure it out for yourself. I'm going.
Starman: This body has a terrible emptiness. This is called hungry?
Starman: Can anyone have - babies?
Jenny Hayden: Just women.
Starman: I understand the reproductive process as you know it.
Jenny Hayden: [laughs] As we know it?
Jenny Hayden: Why didn't you wake me?
Starman: I like to watch you sleep. I don't know - why. Strange. I think I am becoming a planet Earth person.
Mark Shermin: Listen, Mr. Fox, I'd like to be a team player and all of that, but, there's something that I want to call to your attention.
George Fox: There's one thing I don't need from you is a lecture on morality.
Mark Shermin: Alright, okay, screw morality. What the hell ever happened to good manners? We invited him here!
George Fox: I don't have time for this Shermin.
Mark Shermin: I'm trying to make a point.
George Fox: So am I, damn it! You make a great show of being a rebel; but, the fact is this: you are a GS-11 public servant. Anytime that becomes too much of a burden, you can go back to Cornell or whenever the hell it was that we found you and lets see you make it through on an instructor's salary. Now, shape up! Or, get out.