The Last Starfighter (1984)
Lord Kril: Damage report!
Kodan Officer: Guidance system out. Auxiliary steering out.
Lord Kril: Divert! Divert!
Kodan Officer: She won't answer the helm! We're locked into the moon's gravitational pull. What do we do?
[sound of Lord Kril's eyepiece swinging over left eye]
Lord Kril: We die.
Centauri: [voice in video game] Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada.
Grig: Remember, Death Blossom delivers only one massive volley at close range... theoretically.
Alex Rogan: What do you mean, "theoretically"?
Grig: After all, D.B. has never been tested. It might overload the systems, blow up the ship!
Alex Rogan: What are you worried about, Grig? Theoretically, we should already be dead!
Centauri: Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history! *History*! Did Chris Columbus say he wanted to stay home? Nooooo. What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think the Ulus were too ugly to save?
Alex Rogan: Who's Galoka?
Centauri: [beat] Never mind.
Alex Rogan: Listen, Centauri, I'm not any of those guys. I'm a kid from a trailer park.
Centauri: If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!
Alex Rogan: Wait a minute... when did the hangar go up?
Grig: I told you! When Xur attacked!
Alex Rogan: And where were the Starfighters?
Grig: In the hangar!
Alex Rogan: You mean they're dead?
Grig: [scoffs] Death is a primitive concept. I prefer to think of them as battling evil in another dimension.
Alex Rogan: In another dimension? How many are left?
Grig: Including yourself?
Alex Rogan: Yeah.
Alex Rogan: *One*?
[the Gunstar takes off with its attendant noise drowning out Alex's protests]
Alex Rogan: Otis, I just never have a chance to have a good time around here.
Otis: Things change. Always do. You'll get your chance! Important thing is, when it comes, you've got to grab with both hands, and hold on tight!
Centauri: Alex, I want you to know that it was for the greatest good that I brought you back. Of course... it never hurts to be rich.
Grig: [watching Alex struggling with the gunnery chair] Steady. Don't fight the chair. Take your time. Watch your gun sight. Lead your targets. And above all, relax!
Alex Rogan: [stops to take off his gloves, then continues] Terrific. I'm about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.
Grig: [looking at battle plans] The Armada will break through the Frontier here, and reach Rylos in about 20 clicks. Squadrons of deck fighters will precede the mothership.
Alex Rogan: Squadrons? How many squadrons?
Grig: It isn't the number of squadrons that concerns me, it's this communication turret that sends out the commands to the deck fighters, which enables them to act as one during the fight.
Alex Rogan: Wait a second. We knock out the turret to get the fighters. But to get the turret, we gotta get *through* the fighters. We're dead!
Grig: I'll have it all figured out by the time we reach the Frontier.
[alarm sounds; Grig's face falls]
Alex Rogan: What's that?
Grig: The Frontier.
Alex Rogan: Centauri! I thought you were dead.
Centauri: Me, die? And miss all the excitement? Ha-ha, no. I was merely dormant while my body repaired itself. Ah well, enough with the details. Suffice it to say, you're on Rylos, my boy. Stop thinking human, that's lesson number one. Lesson number two...
Centauri: You've got a good thing going here. Keep smiling, don't blow it. Lesson number three: Always trust Centauri...
Kril's Controller: ...We have a break in the Frontier.
Lord Kril: Fire the meteor gun!
Xur: MY *DEAR* KODAN FRIENDS... Lest we forget, it was your own Emperor who charged me with command of this armada... For only *I* hold the secret to the Frontier... Just as only *I* know the location of the Starfighter base... And therefore, ONLY *I* WILL GIVE THE ORDER TO FIRE!
Lord Kril: [bows his head] Forgive me, Xur.
Xur: You are forgiven, Commander Kril. Meteor gunner... fire!
Grig: Up to your old "Excalibur" tricks again, eh, Centauri? Did it ever occur to you that it is against the law to recruit from worlds outside the Star League?
Alex Rogan: [to an alien] I'm sorry, it was an accident. I didn't mean to step on you, uh, whatever that is.
Grig: [proudly displaying his family photo] This, is my Wife-oid, and six thousand little grig-lets.
Alex Rogan: Hold it! There's no fleet? No Starfighters, no plan? One ship, you, me, and that's it?
Grig: Exactly! Xur thinks you're still on Earth. Classic military strategy, surprise attack.
Alex Rogan: It'll be a slaughter!
Grig: That's the spirit!
Alex Rogan: No, *my* slaughter! One ship against the whole Armada?
Grig: Yes, one Gunstar against the Armada. I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds.
Louis Rogan: [Louis is watching Beta/Alex repair himself] Alex... what the hell are you doing?
Beta: Louis, you're having a terrible nightmare. Go back to sleep.
Maggie Gordon: [as Alex is leaving, She is unsure if she should go with him] Granny?
Granny Gordon: [nods] Be sure to write... or whatever it is they do up there.
Maggie Gordon: [kisses Granny] Alex! Wait! Alex!
[runs and joins him on the Gunstar]
Enduran: Aeons ago, our ancestors created our great Frontier, a barrier of energy encircling the peaceful systems of the Universe and forever shutting out the scourge that plagues beyond. Fellow Rylans, because of a dark betrayal... our Frontier will soon collapse. So we turn to you, Starfighters and your Navigators, whom of all the billions of creatures in the Star League, only you few were found to possess the umm..."gift." YOU... and you alone... stand between us and the black terror of the Ko-Dan. VICTORY OR DEATH!
[All chant VICTORY OR DEATH!]
Centauri: [driving the Starcar back to Earth, muttering to himself] Little brat. I invent the game, find the kid, drag him up there, and he doesn't wanna be a Starfighter. I give up!
Alex Rogan: [approaching Gunstar 1] Is this *my* Gunstar?
Grig: This is a prototype, different from the other ships. She has greater range, more power, and a slight weapons modification. Of course, she features deflective plating, so she can withstand several direct hits.
[sits in Navigation Chair]
Grig: From here, this is where I navigate the ship, maintain life support and propulsion systems.
Alex Rogan: ...ok. So where do I sit?
Grig: Way up there, in the Gunnery Chair.
[Alex gets on the lift]
Grig: Hang on.
Alex Rogan: Ok.
Grig: Now, climb into the Gunnery Chair.
[Alex complies, Grig punches a few buttons]
Grig: Now, I'm moving you into launching position. There in front of you are the 2 switches to your heads-up display. Turn them on.
[display turns on]
Grig: While you're engaging the enemy, the screen with reflect all battle instruments towards you.
Alex Rogan: [Alex shifts, cross hair in display disappears] Hey, where did it go?
Grig: It's still there. Suspended in a Xenon mist, but it's only visible if you look dead ahead.
Alex Rogan: [shifts back, cross hair returns] Ah, got it.
Grig: The lever on your left is the Chair Control. As you can see, all weapons track with your every move.
[Alex grabs the lever, is startled when it starts to move with him. Grig laughs, chair stops]
Grig: Grasp the Targeting Control with your right hand. At your fingers is the Weaponry: the Lasers, Photon missiles...
Alex Rogan: ...and the Particle Beams.
Alex Rogan: Hey wait, this is like back home!
[notices a red and white striped panel and touches it]
Alex Rogan: But, what's this?
Grig: Careful! CAREFUL! That's Death Blossom, a weapon of last resort! Luckily, I was in here working on it when the hangar went up.
[Alex looks concerned at hearing this]
Grig: Now are you ready? All systems, Go! IGNITION!
[Gunstar 1 begins launch sequence]
[aboard the Kodan command ship]
Maggie Gordon: Termination agent sent one message.
Beta: There he is. When I give the signal, we're gonna jump, okay?
Maggie Gordon: What do you mean jump?
Beta: We're gonna ram him.
Maggie Gordon: [shocked] What?
Beta: Are you ready? Jump!
Maggie Gordon: Alex!
[She jumps off the truck; aboard the Kodan ship]
Kodan Officer: "Last... Starfighter..."
Beta: [smiles grimly] You owe me one, Alex.
[He squeezes his eyes shut and plows the truck into the assassin's ship, sacrificing himself]
Maggie Gordon: Alex!
[aboard the Kodan ship]
Kodan Officer: Transmission ended at source, Commander.
Lord Kril: "The Last Starfighter..."
Xur: ...Is dead!
[They both look at him]
Xur: "The Last Starfighter is dead!" Ahead full, to Rylos!
Centauri: The amusing thing about this, it's all a big mistake. *That* particular Starfighter game was supposed to be delivered to Vegas, not some flea-speck trailer park in the middle of tumbleweeds and tarantulas. So it must be fate, destiny, blind chance, luck even, that brings us together. And as the poet said, "the rest is history".
Alex Rogan: Where are you going? Where are you taking me?
Centauri: I told you, I want to save it for a surprise. Hey, are you the kind of kid who reads the last page of a mystery first? Who pesters the magician to tell you his tricks? Who sneaks downstairs to peek at his Christmas presents? Noooo, of course you're not.
Centauri: That's why I'm not gonna tell you!
Alex Rogan: Oh, God.
Centauri: Besides, I just love surprises, don't you?
[aboard the Gunstar, Alex looks at a photo of himself with his family and friends, focusing on Maggie's face. On Earth, Maggie looks at the burning remains of Beta and the truck, then looks up at the night sky]
Maggie Gordon: I love you, Alex Rogan.
[aboard the Gunstar]
Alex Rogan: Heads-up display, check!
Alex Rogan: Lasers, check!
Alex Rogan: Particle beams, check!
Alex Rogan: Proton bombs, check!
Alex Rogan: Chair control, check!
Alex Rogan: Let's do it.
[the Gunstar takes off and flies at the Kodan command ship]
Xur: [admiring his scepter] Just like your Kodan Emperor's, isn't it, Commander Kril?
Lord Kril: It takes more than a scepter to rule, Xur. Even on Rylos.
Xur: You're right, Kril. It does take more than a scepter...
[a bayonet springs from the scepter, which he brandishes in Kril's face, then turns away, laughing to himself]
Kodan Officer: [sotto] How long must we endure this fool?
[Kril raises a hand to quiet him]
Rylan Bursar: Return the money, Centauri.
Centauri: Return the money? Are you delirious? Do you know how long it took to invent the games? To merchandise them? To get them in the stores by Christmas?
Grig: It must be terribly embarrassing for you and I do sympathize, however...
Centauri: But I saw him fight! He could be the greatest Starfighter ever!
Alex Rogan: That was just a game, Centauri!
Centauri: A game! Well, you may thought it was a game, but it was also a test. Aha, a test. Sent out across the universe to find those with the gift to be Starfighters. And here you are, my boy! Here you are!
Alex Rogan: Right, here I am, about to be killed
Centauri: Killed! You don't seriously think it's dangerous, do you? Don't be silly! Trust me!
Alex Rogan: Store's closed, mister.
Centauri: I'm not here for cigarettes or bubble gum, my boy. Can you tell me the name of the person who broke the record on that game over there, and where I might find him?
Alex Rogan: Alex Rogan, and you're looking at him.
Centauri: Alex Rogan. Ha ha ha!
Alex Rogan: Who are you?
Centauri: Centauri's the name. I invented Starfighter, which is why I'm here.
Alex Rogan: It is?
Centauri: It is. We have to talk about a matter of utmost importance. Step into my office.
[gestures toward the back seat of his car]
Centauri: Step into my office.
[as Alex's ship lands on his return to Earth]
Louis Rogan: Woo! All right! We're being invaded!
Rylan Bursar: [disgustedly] Rrrr... E sanchay!
Centauri: E sanchay? Onee mat swella! Preeta! Preeta!
Alex Rogan: Centauri, what's going on here?
Centauri: He's just saying how delighted he is that you're here, and if there's anything he can do make your stay more enjoyable, just give him a ring.
Alex Rogan: My stay! What are you talking about? Where are we?
Centauri: Welcome to Rylos, my boy!
Alex Rogan: Rylos! Wait a min-... you mean, you mean... like the game?
Centauri: Oh, he's quick! He's quick! He's very quick! He's speechless! So long, Alex! Have fun! May the luck of the Seven Pillars of Gulu be with you at all times!
Centauri: Oh, someday these cheapskates will thank Centauri, trust me.
Beta: Wait a minute, what are you doing back?
Alex Rogan: Are you kidding? It's war up there!
Beta: Oh, save the whales, but not the universe, huh?
Centauri: I must congratulate you on your virtuoso performance, my boy. Centauri is impressed. I've seen 'em come, and I've seen 'em go, but you're the best, my boy. Dazzling! Light years ahead of the competition! Centauri's got a little proposition for you. Are ya interested?
[Lord Kril is receiving the broken Zando-Zan transmission]
Lord Kril: The last Starfighter...
Xur: [confidently] Is dead! The last Starfighter is dead! Nothing can stop us now! Ahead full to Rylos!
Louis Rogan: [trying to sleep, angry] What's up, Alex?
Alex Rogan: [walking out] Back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
Beta: You're blowing it, Alex.
Louis Rogan: [looks down from the bed, shocked] What the shit?
Beta: [imitating Alex] I said, back to sleep Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
Alex Rogan: [calling out] Maggie! You're never going to believe this!
Maggie Gordon: [slaps him, angrily] I told you, Alex! Me and my, how did you put it, "strange sexual urges" aren't talking to you anymore!
Alex Rogan: Hey, you look like me!
Beta: Of course I do. I'm a beta unit.
Alex Rogan: What the hell is a beta unit?
Beta: A beta unit is a simuloid. An exact duplicate, only not as loud!
Centauri: [to Alex, after watching Xur's speech] You still want to go? And miss all the excitement?
Jane Rogan: [gesturing to Alex's ship, shocked] Alex, what is all this?
Alex Rogan: I, uh, I've been to another planet, Ma.
Centauri: Get a good look, Alex, you can bet your asteroids you'll be seeing more of them
[refering to a dead Zando-Zan sent to kill Alex Rogan]
Alex Rogan: What?
Centauri: This is a Zando-Zan. An interstellar hit-beast. Courtesy of Xur.
Alex Rogan: Xur? Why's he after me?
Centauri: Somehow he found out you're a Starfighter.
Beta: You see, Alex, you've gotta go back. You stay here, you're dog meat.
Centauri: Trust Centauri on this, my boy. Because in two hours, this park will be crawling with ten Zando-Zans, with just one thought on their microscopic little minds: kill Alex Rogan.
Beta: [to a startled Louis, while working on his detached head and sitting at a work bench] Louis, you're having a terrible nightmare. Go back to sleep.
Grig: You must be Louis. I hear good things about you.
Louis Rogan: Hear that, you slimes? I'm famous!
[after the Gunstar is disabled by its destruction of the Kodan fighters]
Kodan Officer: Commander, our guns are out. Damage control teams responding.
Lord Kril: Forget the guns! Ramming speed!
Kodan Officer: Unidentified craft.
Lord Kril: What is it?
[an identification appears on the screen]
Lord Kril: Wait...
Xur: [in disbelief] A Gunstar?
Lord Kril: So! "The last Starfighter is dead!" This has gone far enough! Seize him!
Xur: How dare you, Kril! I am the Emperor of Rylos! I and I alone command this entire arm-!
[Two Kodan officers calmly disarm Xur and drag him off the bridge]
Xur: Release me! I command you! You will pay for this with your lives!
Lord Kril: [into his helmet microphone] All guns, *fire*!
[after the attack on the Starfighter Base]
Xur: At last it is done! Soon the Frontier will be down, and they will bow to their new Emperor...! Or I will darken the sky with their ashes.
Kodan Officer: Commander! The Xurian spy reports one Starfighter has escaped.
Xur: [spins around, furious] Escaped?
[He brandishes his scepter and springs the bayonet]
Maggie Gordon: Alex in space? Is this for real?
Beta: Yes! That's what I'm trying to tell you, it's *all* for real!
Maggie Gordon: Well then, don't talk, *drive*!