Short Round: Wow! Holy Smoke! Crash landing!
Indiana Jones: Short Round, step on it.
Short Round: Okey dokey, Dr. Jones.
[turns his cap around]
Short Round: Hold on to your potatoes!
Willie: For crying out loud, there's a *kid* driving the car!
Indiana Jones: Wear your jewels to bed Princess?
Willie: Yeah... and nothing else. Shock you?
Indiana Jones: Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist.
Indiana Jones: Mola Ram! Prepare to meet Kali... in Hell!
Indiana Jones: Willie, Willie, Willie. What kind of a name is that? Is it short for something?
Willie: Willie is my professional name, Indiana.
Short Round: Hey, lady! You call him Dr. Jones!
Indiana Jones: *My* professional name.
Willie: You're gonna get killed chasing after your damn fortune and glory!
Indiana Jones: Maybe. But not today.
Mola Ram: Bali Mangthi Kali Ma.
[Sacrifice is what Mother Kali desires]
Mola Ram: Shakthi Degi Kali Ma.
[Power is what Mother Kali will grant]
Mola Ram: Kali ma... Kali ma... Kali ma, shakthi deh!
[Mother Kali... Mother Kali... Mother Kali, give me power!]
Indiana Jones: [trapped in the middle of the rope bridge] Oh, shit.
Indiana Jones: Are you trying to develop a sense of humor or am I going deaf?
Short Round: I keep telling you, you listen to me more, you live longer!
[cutting between Indiana and Willie's rooms]
Indiana Jones: "Palace slave"...
Willie: "Nocturnal activities"...
Indiana Jones: *I'm* a conceited ape?
Willie: "I'll tell you in the morning"...
Indiana Jones: I can't believe this.
Willie: He's not coming.
Indiana Jones: She's not coming.
Indiana Jones: I can't believe I'm not going.
Indiana Jones: [trapped on a rope bridge] Shorty!
[Indy shouts to Shorty in Chinese. Short Round, wide-eyed, nods and wraps a rope around his arm]
Short Round: Hang on lady, we going for a ride!
[Indy raises his sword, and Willie realizes]
Willie: Oh my god! Oh my God... Oh my God... Oh my God!
[wraps a rope around her arm]
Willie: Is he nuts?
Short Round: He no nuts. He's crazy!
Indiana Jones: Mola Ram! Prepare to meet Kali... in hell!
[starts to cut the bridge with his sword]
Mola Ram: NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOU FOOL!
[the rope bridge falls apart, sending Thugs to their deaths in the crocodile-infested river below]
Indiana Jones: [groping desperately down Willie's dress] Where's the antidote?
Willie: Oh, listen, I just met you! Oh, I'm not that kind of girl...
Short Round: Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love. We've got company.
Willie: There are two dead people in here!
Indiana Jones: There's gonna be two dead people in here! Hurry!
Indiana Jones: Kali Ma protects us! We are her children! We pledge our devotion to her with an offering of flesh... and blood!
Indiana Jones: Captain Blumburtt was just telling me something of the interesting history of the palace; the importance it played in the mutiny.
Chattar Lal: It seems the British never forget the mutiny of 1857.
[Captain Blumburtt laughs]
Indiana Jones: Yes, well you know I think there were other events before the mutiny going back a century - back to the time of Clive that are more interesting.
Chattar Lal: And what events are those Dr Jones?
Indiana Jones: Well, if memory serves me correctly this area, this province was the centre eventuity of the Thuggee.
Chattar Lal: Dr Jones, you know perfectly well that the Thuggee cult has been dead for nearly a century.
Captain Blumburtt: Yes, of course. The Thuggee was an obscenity that worshipped Kali with human sacrifices. The British Army Knights did away with them.
Indiana Jones: Well, I suppose stories of the Thuggee die hard.
Chattar Lal: There are no stories anymore.
Indiana Jones: I'm not so sure. We came from a small village; peasants there told us Pankot Palace was growing powerful again because of some ancient evil.
Chattar Lal: Village stories, Dr Jones. They're just fear and folklore; you're beginning to worry Captain Blumburtt.
Captain Blumburtt: Not worried, Mr Prime Minister, just erm... just erm... interested.
Indiana Jones: You know, the villagers also told us Pankot Palace had taken something.
Chattar Lal: Dr Jones, in our country it's not usual for a guest to insult his host.
Indiana Jones: I'm sorry. I thought we were talking about folklore.
Captain Blumburtt: What exactly was it they say was stolen?
Indiana Jones: A sacred rock.
Chattar Lal: [he laughs dismissively] Hah! You see, Captain? A rock.
Indiana Jones: Something connected - the villager's rock and the old legend of the Sankara stones.
Chattar Lal: Dr Jones, we're all vulnerable to vicious rumour. I seem to remember that in Honduras you were accused of being a grave robber rather than an archaeologist.
Indiana Jones: Well, the newspapers greatly exaggerated the incident.
Chattar Lal: And wasn't it the Sultana Madagascar who threatened to cut your head off if you ever returned to his country?
Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my head.
Chattar Lal: Then your hands, perhaps?
Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my hands... it was my
Indiana Jones: ... misunderstanding.
[Indy signals his intention to cut the rope bridge]
Willie: Oh my God. Oh my God, is he nuts?
Short Round: He no nuts, he's crazy!
[Willie accidentally sets off the same trap she just sprang]
Short Round: It wasn't me! It's her!
[one of Mola Ram's guards is about to kill Short Round]
Indiana Jones: Wait! WAIT! He's mine!
[Indy grabs Shorty and holds him over the pit]
Indiana Jones: I'm all right kid.
[Indy winks at him]
Short Round: Indy, I love you.
[burns Indy with a torch]
Short Round: Wake up, Indy! You're my best friend! Wake up, Indy!
Indiana Jones: [after listening to Mola Ram's plans] What a vivid imagination.
Indiana Jones: [after the palace dinner] I've got something for you.
Willie: There's nothing you have that I could possibly want.
Indiana Jones: Right.
[turns and uncovers a plate of fruit, Indy takes a bite from an apple. Willie runs over and begins to devour the fruit]
Willie: You're a very nice man.
[as Indiana Jones drinks his martini, Lao Che's henchmen laugh as he holds up a vial]
Willie: What's that?
Lao Che: Antidote.
Indiana Jones: To what?
Lao Che: [matter-of-factly] The poison you just drank.
Chattar Lal: Dr Jones, wasn't it the Sultan of Madagascar who threatened to cut off your head if you ever returned to his country?
Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my head.
Chattar Lal: Then your hands, perhaps?
Indiana Jones: No, it wasn't my hands. It was my...
[looks down at his groin]
Indiana Jones: My misunderstanding.
[Indy threatens to drop the Sankara stones into the gorge]
Indiana Jones: You want the stones, let 'em go!
[the Thuggees stop, uncertain. Willie smirks at Mola Ram]
Indiana Jones: Let 'em go!
Mola Ram: [laughs] Drop them, Dr. Jones! They will be found! You won't!
Willie: Ooh, what big birds!
Indiana Jones: Those aren't big birds, sweetheart! They're giant vampire bats!
[Indy and Short Round are exploring a cavern]
Short Round: Feels like I step on fortune cookie!
Indiana Jones: It's not fortune cookies. Let me take a look.
[Indy lights a lighter to find bugs crawling all over the place]
Short Round: That no cookie!
Shaman of Maypore: Now you see the power of the rock you bring back.
Indiana Jones: Yes. I understand its power now.
[Indy and Short Round are trapped in a room]
Indiana Jones: Stop! Look, just - stand against the wall, will ya?
[Short Round stands against the wall, springing a trap]
Short Round: You say to stand against the wall! I listen to what you say! Not my fault! Not my fault!
Indiana Jones: [on Willie's incessant screaming] The biggest trouble with her is the noise.
Willie: [being lowered over a sacrificial pit] I'm not going to have anything nice to say about this place when I get back!
Indiana Jones: We're in trouble!
Willie: Trouble? What kind of trouble?
Indiana Jones: It's a long story. Better hurry up or you won't get to hear it.
[Indy places his hands on the bosom of a statue]
Willie: I'm right *here*!
Indiana Jones: Anything can happen. It's a long way to Delhi.
Willie: No, thanks. No more adventures with you, Dr. Jones.
Indiana Jones: Sweetheart, after all the fun we've had together?
Willie: If you think I'm going to Delhi with you, or anyplace else after all the trouble you've gotten me into, think again, buster! I'm going home to Missouri where they never feed you snakes before ripping your heart out and lowering you into hot pits! This is NOT my idea of a swell time!
Willie: Excuse me, sir. I need a guide to Delhi. If you could...
[Indy snaps his whip around Willie's waist and pulls her back]
Short Round: Very funny. Very funny.
[Indy and Willie start to kiss]
Short Round: Uh-oh!
Indiana Jones: [after Willie loses Indy's gun] Where's my gun? WHERE'S MY GUN?
Willie: I burned by fingers and I cracked a nail!
Willie: Aren't you gonna introduce us?
Lao Che: This is Willie Scott; this is Indiana Jones, a famous archaeologist.
Willie: Well I always thought that archaeologists were always funny looking men going around looking for their mommies.
Indiana Jones: Mummies.
Willie: So what are you supposed to be, a lion tamer?
Indiana Jones: I'm allowing you to tag along. So why don't you give your mouth a rest. Okay doll?
Willie: What do you mean "tag along"? Ever since you got into my club, you haven't been able to take your eyes off of me.
Indiana Jones: Oh, yeah?
[tugs his hat down over his eyes, and falls asleep]
Chattar Lal: Dr. Jones, in our country, it's not usual for a guest to insult his host.
Lao Che: So it's true? You've found Nurhachi?
Indiana Jones: You know I did. Last night one of your boys tried to get Nurhachi without paying for him.
[Kao Kan holds his bandaged hand]
Lao Che: You have insulted my son.
Indiana Jones: No, you have insulted me. I spared his life.
Indiana Jones: You know what your problem is, Princess? You're too used to getting your own way.
Willie: And you're too proud to admit that you're crazy about me, Dr. Jones!
Indiana Jones: If you want me Willie, you know where to find me.
Willie: Five minutes. You'll be back over here in five minutes.
Indiana Jones: I'll be asleep in five minutes.
Willie: Five. You know it, and I know it.
Indiana Jones: Stay behind me, Short Round. Step where I step, and don't touch anything.
[curious, Short Round touches a lamp. A door falls open, with two dessicated mummies falling out. Short Round yells and backpedals]
Short Round: I step where you step! I touch nothing!
[Willie goes to the front of the plane, and sees the cockpit is empty]
Willie: Oh, no... oh, no...
[Runs back and starts shaking Indy awake]
Willie: Mister! Mister! Oh, Mister, wake up!
Short Round: [waking up] You call him Dr. Jones, doll!
Willie: Okay, Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones, wake up!
[after getting dumped into a pond]
Willie: [crying] I was happy in Shanghai! I had a little house, and a garden! My friends were rich, we went to parties all the time in limousines! I *hate* being outside!
[Willie angrily splashes the water]
Willie: [gasps] I'm a singer! I could lose my voice!
Indiana Jones: I think we'll camp here tonight.
[repeatedly, as Mola Ram is trying to get the stones in Indiana's bag]
Indiana Jones: You betrayed Shiva!
Sacrifice Victim: Om Namha Shivaye, Om Namha Shivaye, Om Namha Shivaye...
[Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God...]
Willie: Give me your hat.
Short Round: [takes his cap off] Why?
Willie: [taking the cap] Because I'm gonna puke in it!
[Short Round quickly tugs the cap off her]
Mola Ram: [to Indiana who is cornered on a rope bridge] You are in a position unsuitable to give orders.
Lao Che: You never told me you spoke my language, Doctor Jones.
Indiana Jones: Only on special occasions.
Indiana Jones: [to Lao Che] I suggest you give me what you owe me... or 'Anything Goes!'
[after both Indiana Jones and Short Round got badly whipped by the Chief Guard and the possessed Maharaja respectively, Mola Ram comes back towards Indiana with the head filled with the Blood of Kali as the the Guard forces Indiana's mouth open]
Mola Ram: The British in India will be slaughtered, then we will overrun the Muslims. Then the Hebrew God will fall!
[pours the blood into Indiana's mouth and down his throat]
Mola Ram: And then the Christian God will be cast down and forgotten.
[the Guard grabs Indy's nose hard, forcing Indy to swallow the blood]
Mola Ram: Soon, Kali Ma will rule the world.
[Indiana chokes and coughs]
Short Round: [whispers weakly] Dr. Jones...
Indiana Jones: Short Round! Quit fooling around with that kid! Get down in the cart now!
Short Round: Okey-dokey, Indy!
Little Maharaja: [to Shorty] Please listen. To get out you must take the left tunnel.
Short Round: Thank you.
Indiana Jones: We weren't brought here. Our plane crashed.
Willie: [nodding and smiling] It crashed.
Shaman of Maypore: [laughing] No, no, no. We prayed to Shiva to help us find the stone. It was Shiva who made you fall from sky. So you will go to Pankot Palace... and find Shivalinga... and bring back to us. Bring back to us. Bring back to us.
[cutting between Indiana and Willie's rooms]
Willie: [looks at her clock] Five minutes...
Indiana Jones: [looks at his] Four and a half...
Willie: Indiana Jones, this is one night you'll never forget. This is the night I slipped right through your fingers. Sleep tight and pleasant dreams. I could've been your greatest adventure.
Short Round: [in Cantonese] AA! GAU NGO AA! YAO YAN OI SAT NGO AA!
[AH! SAVE ME! SOMEONE WANTS TO KILL ME!]
Chattar Lal: I should say you look rather lost, but then I can't imagine where in the world the three of you would look at home.
Webber: Ah, Dr. Jones. I'm Earl Webber. I spoke with your assistant and managed to secure three seats. However, there might be a *slight* inconvenience as you will be riding on a cargo plane full of live poultry.
Mola Ram: [after Indy spits blood back in his face] You dare not do that.
Willie: [about the Sankara Stone] You could have kept it.
Indiana Jones: Nah, it would of just been another rock collecting dust.
Willie: Yeah, but it would have given you your fortune and glory.
Short Round: [after almost falling into the gorge] Not very funny.
Short Round: [repeated line; to Willie] You call him Dr. Jones.
Mola Ram: The British in India will be slaughtered. Then we will overrun the Muslims and force their "Allah" to bow to Kali. And then the Hebrew God will fall and finally the Christian God will be cast down and forgotten.
Mola Ram: You don't believe me, Dr. Jones? You will, Dr. Jones. You will become a true believer.
[Indiana and Mola Ram laugh]
Mola Ram: [before Indy is whipped] Maro maro suar ko! Chamdi neecho peelo koon!
[strike and strike that pig again! Tear his skin and drink his blood!]
Mola Ram: [after tearing out victim's heart] Ab, uski jan meri mutti me hai! AB, USKI JAN MERI MUTTI ME HAI!
[Now, his life is in my fist! NOW, HIS LIFE IS IN MY FIST!]
Shaman of Maypore: Like monsoon...
[moves his hand over his eyes]
Shaman of Maypore: ...it moves darkness, over all country.
Mola Ram: You were caught trying to steal the Sankara stones. There were five stones in the beginning. Over the centuries, they were dispersed by wars, sold off by thieves like you.
Indiana Jones: Thieves like me, huh?
Indiana Jones: Ha! You're still missing two.
Mola Ram: A century ago when the British raided this temple and butchered my people, a loyal priest hid the last two stones down here in the catacombs.
Indiana Jones: So that what you got these slaves digging for, huh? They're innocent children.
Mola Ram: They dig the gems to support our cause. They also search for the last two stones
[touches a restrained Short Round's head]
Mola Ram: Soon, we will have all the five Sankara stones, and the Thuggees will be all powerful.
Indiana Jones: [not impressed] What a vivid imagination.
Mola Ram: [chuckles] You... don't believe me? You will, Dr. Jones. You will become a true believer.
[both Indiana and Mola Ram chuckles, then the Thuggee Chief Guard walks towards Indiana]
Indiana Jones: [to the Chief Guard] Hi.
Chattar Lal: [to a possessed Indiana as Willie is about to be sacrificed to Kali] Your friend has seen, and she has heard. Now she will not talk.
Willie: [while Indy is fighting the Chief Guard] Go, Indy!
[in the background, Short Round can be seen fighting the possessed Maharaja]
Webber: Ah, Dr. Jones. I'm Earl Webber. I spoke with your assistant and managed to secure three seats, but there might be a slight inconvenience as you will be riding on a cargo full of live poultry.
Willie: Is he kidding?
Webber: Madam, it's the best I could do on such short notice!
Webber: Heavens, aren't you Willie Scott, the famous American female vocalist?
[Willie, Short Round, and Indy board airplane]
Indiana Jones: [shakes hands with Webber] I owe you a gin.
[laughs as he spots Lao Che arrive too late to stop him]
Indiana Jones: Nice try, Lao Che!
[Indiana slams plane door which says "LAO CHE AIR FREIGHT"]
Lao Che: Goodbye, Dr. Jones.
[he and his lackey laugh malevolently]
Willie: Dr. Jones, I'd be safer sleeping with a snake.
[snake literally slithers on her]