In the far future water is the most valuable substance. Two space pirates are captured, sold to a princess, and recruited to help her find her father who disappeared when he found information dangerous to the rulers. A real Space Opera with sword fights, explosions, fighting robots, monsters, bar fights and time warps.Written by
John Vogel <firstname.lastname@example.org>
SEE... A Universe on the Rocks! SEE... Great Special Affects! SEE... Space Herpie the Love Bug! SEE... The Evil Emperor and his Bird! SEE... Action-Packed Action! SEE! Ferocious Space Possums! See more »
The film's opening prologue reads: "Long after the great interplanetary wars, the Galaxy has gone dry. Water has become the only thing left of value. Evil Templars from the planet Mithra have gained control of this life-giving resource. Their power is now absolute except for a few rebel pirates who survive by stealing ice from the great Templar fleets". See more »
When the prisoner cage is being hauled along the hangar, it's broad daylight, as is obvious in the matte shot with the outside view and in various windows and openings in the background. Wenn the cage is set down however, it's suddenly dark outside the hangar door. See more »
The UK theatrical version was cut for a PG rating by 2 minutes 11 seconds:
[Reel 2] During discussion in prison on space ship and in cage after landing remove references to men being castrated.
When heroes are on conveyor belt remove threats of castration and repeated sight of snapping jaws.
[Reel 3] After alien creature bites heroes, remove reference to it as "Space Herpe" when Jason reads cargo manifest.
Remove sight of man's head falling off after woman slices sword across man's neck in fight in bar.
[Reel 4] Remove reference to Space Herpe after it emerges from hunk of meat.
After talking head delivers up ring on tongue, remove it asking, "Want to make a deposit?"
[Reel 5] Establish only lovemaking between Jason and Princess after they go to the passion chamber with back projection, removing all sex double entendres in their dialogue and implication of oral sex.
If you liked Mars Attacks! and Buckaroo Banzai ....
This is the movie that killed Mary Crosby's career and nearly derailed Robert Urich's, Angelica Houston's and Ron Perlman's. It's one of those movies - like 1941 and Paint Your Wagon - that everyone knows is a total turkey, except for those who place what they see on the screen above what they read in the reviews. If you liked Mars Attacks! and Buckaroo Banzai, and laughed your ass off at Spaced Invaders and Killer Clowns from Outer Space, you'll love Ice Pirates.
The time is the distant future, where by far the most precious commodity in the galaxy is water. The idea that there were once ten planets whose surface was principally covered by water is considered a myth by most people, as is the story that the last surviving water planet was somehow removed to the unreachable center of the galaxy at the end of the galactic trade wars. The galaxy is ruled by your basic evil emperor (John Carradine) presiding over a trade oligarchy that controls all mining and sale of ice from asteroids and comets.
Robert Urich is Jason, leader of a band of ice pirates that includes Ron Perlman, John Matuzak and Michael D Roberts. Of course, the crew also prominently features the obligatory unbeatable master swordsman and latter-day samurai, but, in a blow for equality, the part is played to perfection by Angelica Houston. In the formulaic plot for outlaw space operas, our heroes attack an ice freighter, are captured, but escape with a princess (Mary Crosby) kidnapped by the evil emperor in tow. They rescue her, thread the perilous path to the center of the universe and the fabled tenth planet, and destroy the evil empire's stranglehold on the people.
Along the way, you are treated to some of film's oddest aliens, god-awful puns and excellent lampoons of space opera icons. It's full of bona fide toilet humor, from the pirates breaking through the hull of the ice freighter into a lavatory whose commode is occupied by a chickenman, to the standard reconditioning for outlaws and other deviants - castration by mechanical chompers, a lobotomy and a blond dye job, then sale as a soprano domestic slave.
Ice Pirates is the illegitimate child of Star Wars and Animal House. The jokes, both verbal and physical, range from the hackneyed to the truly brilliant - and most of both will have you rolling on the floor. It's a an hour-and-a-half of pure unadulterated fun. When I finally get the 6' x 8' screen for our light projector mounted, this will be one of the first movies we watch.
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