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Title: Conan the Destroyer (1984)
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| Complete credited cast: | |||
| Arnold Schwarzenegger | ... | Conan | |
| Grace Jones | ... | Zula | |
 |
Wilt Chamberlain | ... | Bombaata |
| Mako | ... | Akiro 'The Wizard' | |
| Tracey Walter | ... | Malak | |
| Sarah Douglas | ... | Queen Taramis | |
| Olivia d'Abo | ... | Princess Jehnna (as Olivia D'Abo) | |
| Pat Roach | ... | Man Ape / Toth-Amon | |
| Jeff Corey | ... | Grand Vizier | |
| Sven-Ole Thorsen | ... | Togra (as Sven Ole Thorsen) | |
|
|
Bruce Fleischer | ... | Village Heckler |
| Ferdy Mayne | ... | The Leader (as Ferdinand Mayne) | |
The wandering barbarian, Conan, alongside his goofy rogue pal, Malak, are tasked with escorting Queen Taramis' virgin niece, Princess Jehnna and her bodyguard, Bombaata, to a mystical island fortress. They must retrieve a magical crystal that will help them procure the horn that legends say can awaken the god of dreams, Dagoth. Along the way, Conan reunites with the wise wizard, Akiro and befriends the fierce female fighter, Zula. Together the heroes face ancient traps, powerful Wizards, plots of betrayal, and even the dream god, Dagoth, himself! Written by Tim Harrison Snlmidgit@hotmail.com
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If you're looking for a deep, interesting and layered fantasy flick which makes sense and has an original story, go rent out the first Conan movie. Conan the Destroyer is pure Hollywood cheese, made because the Conan the Barbarian was such a hit. The studio execs made the story more light-hearted, with sidekicks and magic and the kind of story a thirteen-year-old could watch without getting in trouble.
Oddly enough, it works. While it's light years away from Robert E Howard's original Conan stories, Conan the Destroyer is still great fun, even twenty years after it was made. Arnold Schwarzenegger makes the most of the very silly lines he's given, Tracey Walter proves a capable if somewhat pointless comic foil, and the irony of casting Wilt Chamberlain as a protector of a young princess' virginity is hilarious.
Mako hams it up, Grace Jones takes it all too seriously and Olivia D'Abo makes for a good childlike princess because she was 16 when the film got made. The music's over-dramatic, the lines are laughable ("Some wizard you are! Go back to juggling apples!") and the story's cliché, but for Saturday night viewing, nothing beats Conan the Destroyer.
Possibly Interesting Trivia: This movie was produced by Raffaela De Laurentis, daughter of the famous Dino De Laurentis. She also produced the confusing big-budget epic "Dune". Both Dune and this movie flopped at the box office, and both were filmed in Mexico.