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Jean-Marc Rocher <firstname.lastname@example.org>
This is another one of those very first movies I ever rented as a kid. It was childish love at first site. Watched it numerous times back then. Is it actually a good movie? I think I'll just plead the 5th on that one.
Having just re-watched it, I'll just say right away: METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN is a blast and offers lots of (unintentional) laughs. Just throw the following elements into a blender: Post-Apocalyptic (vehicles & mutants), STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI (speed-bikers), western (showdown), Swords & Sorcery (quest, fights, and sock-puppet sand-creatures), fantasy (magical crystals and other nonsense), cyborg (or a dude basically enhanced by various metal-parts, including an extendable metal grab-claw arm that spits toxic LSD) and psychedelia (warped gateways into other dimensions). Plus, Tim Thomerson and Richard Moll are in it. This simply is a wonderful film.
Well yes, I'm biased when it comes to early Charles Band outings. This isn't really a good movie (Damn, I did say it, didn't I?), but it's very enjoyable, cheesy & nonsensical stuff. All things I listed up here really are featured in this film, albeit not exactly in quality incarnations, if you know what I mean. And the special effects are dated and look silly sometimes, but there's enough of those in the film to keep you amused. Compared to other early Charles Band films, METALSTORM definitely is a bit crazier and more action-packed than PARASITE (the "good" film) and THE ALCHEMIST (the "lesser" film) and would - in my humble opinion - make a perfect double feature with THE DUNGEONMASTER (aka RAGEWAR), together making up for a super-duper special effects extravaganza night fest. And if you can't get with that, you're a bit of a sourpuss, I'm afraid.
Good, bad, stupid, fun? Who cares! These films were made with enthusiasm. The kind that rubs off. At least on me it does. Blame my rating on nostalgia.
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