The Being (1983) Poster

(1983)

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7/10
It's garbage, but it's *fun* garbage!
Hey_Sweden26 April 2014
Warning: Spoilers
"The Being" is must viewing for those fright film fans who delight in the cheap and the cruddy. As Leonard Maltins' paperback guide to movies has always succinctly put it, this is not just a B movie but a Z movie. It's got a few distinguished thespians slumming badly, crude direction by cult favourite Jackie Kong ("Blood Diner", "Night Patrol"), a routine and silly script, and enough hilarity to keep bad movie enthusiasts chortling for 82 minutes.

Kongs' then-husband Bill Osco, the producer of this thing, also co-stars under the name Rexx Coltrane, as small town detective Mortimer Lutz, trying to solve the cases of missing people in his small town of Pottsville in Idaho. The culprit is a monster spawned by improperly "disposed" toxic waste, and it leaves gallons of slime wherever it goes. The perpetually cranky mayor (Jose Ferrer) doesn't want anything to hurt local business, while Garson Jones (Martin Landau), a scientist who is a fairly slimy one himself, does some snooping around.

One is certain to smile watching the ineptitude play out as "The Being" tells its tale. One of the highlights is when two stoners watching a movie at a drive-in spot the creature and one of them utters an obscenity at it. Prompting the thing, of course, to devour him. The finale is great stuff, as Lutz goes through a hilarious amount of punishment while fighting the Being; this is one protracted battle. The effects are abysmal and audience members are certain to bust a gut when we finally get a good look at our antagonist. It's pretty suggestive looking, for one thing.

One could savour the casting mix here: also among the people wasting their time here are Marianne Gordon (wife of Kenny Rogers at the time), Dorothy Malone as a woman desperately searching for her son, Ruth Buzzi as the mayors' annoying wife, comedians Murray Langston & Johnny Dark and author / actor Kinky Friedman as a trio of cannon fodder, Jerry Maren as the Being, and Kent Perkins (Buzzis' husband) as dopey Officer Dudley. The adorable tyke who gets too close to the Being at one point is played by Roxanne Cybelle, the daughter of Kong and Osco.

Originally filmed in 1980 under the title "Easter Sunday", when capitalizing on the concept of holidays in horror was in vogue.

This is a special kind of bad; my corresponding rating applies not to quality, obviously, but simple entertainment value.

Seven out of 10.
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5/10
ripoff of some earlier toxic waste monster movies
silversprdave1 July 2001
This movie is almost like CHUD except not as good. It was somewhat disappointing in its first half, and then I realized that it wasn't going to get any better after that. The movie is on the par with cheap 1950's B-movie horror flicks, and is worth a watch on late night TV when nothing else is on. It's main problem is that it is rather un-inspired in its use of the overplayed theme of radioactive waste turning things into monsters, and is slow. It is quite funny, though and frightening in places. I rated it an embarrassingly high 5 -- Hey, so I'm easy to please.
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8/10
An enjoyably crummy 80's killer mutant monster horror hoot
Woodyanders17 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
There are certain stinky movies whose very fetid, noxious, nostril hair-curling putridness takes on a so-unbelievably-shoddy-it's-weirdly-sublime glow. This exceptionally awful atrocity is one such appealing abomination. The first surefire sign of superior shabbiness stems from the rambling and unfocused plodding'n'poky plot: a murderous one-eyed, flay-skinned, slime-dripping upright biped humanoid beast created by the illegal dumping of toxic waste (WARNING: Beware of heavy-handed subtext concerning the dire consequences beget by man's thoughtless disposal of hazardous radioactive chemicals) brutally slays the wholly deserving idiot inhabitants of the sleepy stick central hamlet of Pottsville, Idaho.

A second testament to the picture's pathetic, yet oddly irresistible sub-par allure is the slumming and suitably embarrassed Hall of Shame Faded Name cast: a dour Martin Landau as a shady, spineless, untrustworthy scientist, a cranky Jose Ferror as the gloomy mayor, a highly annoying Ruth Buzzi as Hizzoner's nagging shrew wife, a haggard Dorothy Malone as the harried mother of a missing little boy (said tyke may just be the monster, but thanks to the murky script this particular plot point dangles unresolved throughout the film), the eternally goofy Murray "The Unknown Comic" Langston and saturnine country-and-western satirist Kinky Friedman as ill-fated local yokels, former porn filmmaker turned lousy thespian Bill Osco as the charmless good ol' boy sheriff, and Kenny Roger's hot babe "can't act for spit" wife Marianne Gordon as the constantly shrieking heroine. Toss in Jackie Kong's fumbling (mis)direction, witless attempts at broad humor (two stoner guys are attacked by the monster while watching a cheesy fright feature at a drive-in theater), fake-looking gore, dimly lit cinematography, across-the-board cruddy production values, a meandering pace, a hilariously hokey and unconvincing titular creature, and one of those always irritating "it ain't over yet!" sequel set-up non-endings. The net result of all these endearingly dreadful ingredients is a wonderfully wretched stiff of a highly entertaining Grade Z turkey.
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5/10
Not THAT terrible.
coldwaterpdh12 December 2008
I actually enjoyed "The Being" for the most part. Obviously it's awful but isn't that the point? The basic plot is a small town in Idaho is victimized by a big, blubbering, wet and greasy, reddish-pink blob with one eye. He kills people at random and a determined detective is going to get to the bottom of it. Martin Landau plays a 'scientist' who is heading up a toxic waste dump research project who tries at first to stand in the detective's way, but then conceded that 'yes in fact, there is a problem in Pottsville...' Along the way we meet some awful actors and actresses and we are treated to many cheeseball performances and some lame killings. We get a nice view of the monster in the end and it actually is a little creepy. One thing we can say about this flick is that it is never really boring, no; it moves along pretty quickly with a decent amount of action.

All in all, I've seen worse, but I've definitely seen better within the genre. The genre of whence I speak being 80's drive-in trash, I mean what do you want?

5 out of 10, kids.
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1/10
I felt stupid just BEING there watching this movie.
UnratedX1 April 1999
Hmmm....well, I was surfing around an internet video store, and I came across "The Being." After reading it's description, I thought this movie would be pretty good, and also full of gore, so I bought the factory sealed tape. Boy, was that a stupid move!!! This had to be without a shadow of a doubt one of the most ridiculous and unbelievably dumbest horror movies I think I've ever seen in my entire life! The film is about some stupid monster that lurks within a toxic disposal dump, tearing off the heads of its victims. Now you see, that little description makes you think that there's going to be lots of violence and gore, but there's not. The movie was neither gory nor violent. This movie just plain sucked. The whole scenery was dark, and this film was not only annoying, but the background music was irritating as well. I would assume that this was an ultimately lame attempt for a scary movie, but jeez, does it fall flat! And these comments are based on the UNRATED print, so I can't even begin to imagine what the edited R-rated version is like. The bottom line: if you ever see this flick sitting in the horror shelf of your local video store, rated-R or UNRATED, do me a favor, pick it up and hide it behind a bunch of other videos, because this movie is a disgrace to all horror movies in existence. Beavis and Butthead couldn't say it any better, "this sucks!" UnratedX
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4/10
Nuclear monster killing
hellholehorror1 October 2017
Not a good transfer, either that or the source material was really bad. It just looked soft the whole time. The cinematography is messy and has nothing interesting about it. It looks really flat and dated. The visual effects are rubbery! The sound is poor, technically it is really bad. The dubbing is awful, the sound effects bland and the clarity murky. The music is dated and lacks the subtlety that we expect today. The story is non-existent! It's a nuclear monster killing people. It reminded me of fifties monster movies but it was in colour and had a small amount of violence. A cheesy old-fashioned monster movie that has camp value and little else.
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1/10
Whoa!
Maciste_Brother19 November 2003
THE BEING is one bad movie. And it's very funny. There's no point of writing a sensible review of this "movie" because it's sooooooo bad. If you like bad movies, you have to check it out. My favorite scene is the one at the drive-in, where people are watching a movie with a cheesy monster attacking a bimbo, while the "being" attacks people in their cars. The whole thing was almost brilliant! The main actor is very stiff and his voice is dubbed throughout the movie. I guess the actor didn't have a great voice. And Martin Landau plays a scientist of sorts. Boy, did he hit rock bottom with this movie. And then there's Ruth Buzzi. Yes, THE Ruth Buzzi. There's nothing like seeing the name Ruth Buzzi during the opening credits to give a film some star quality. Arf!

Anyway, I like this movie a lot. It's really one of the best "it's so bad it's good" movies.
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3/10
How did stuff like this ever get made?
BA_Harrison30 March 2012
Dump a few barrels of radioactive waste on the outskirts of a small Idaho town and—Hey presto!—hideous slimy mutants are springing up out of the ground to attack the locals.

Martin Landau and Jose Ferrer get top billing in this ridiculous piece of 80s trash, but it is the likes of Kinky Friedman and Rexx Coltrane (AKA Johnny Commander) who are the real stars, which should give you some idea of the true calibre of this film. With writing and direction from Jackie Kong, who also gave us the execrable Blood Diner, this is one of the sorriest, most random pieces of garbage you're ever likely to witness.

The film opens in promising style, a Twilight Zone narration leading into a splatteriffic scene in which a teenager gets his head yanked clean off by a mutant. From then on, it all goes seriously pear-shaped, with a daft attack at a drive-in (the on screen movie provides some female nudity, so it's not all bad I suppose), a terrible children's easter egg hunt with the prize hidden in a monster's pit, a traffic cop having his heart ripped from his chest, a surreal dream sequence, and the revelation that the whole thing is part of an official cover-up to protect the town's potato industry. While some of the hokey gore is admittedly fun, The Being is just too scatter-shot, disjointed, and slapdash to work as a whole, even as a lightweight piece of tongue-in-cheek schlock.

NB. Look out for the bit where a guy runs in front of a Union Pacific locomotive—a surprisingly risky stunt (or brilliant special effect?) considering how crap the film is.
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7/10
Potato crop monster
BandSAboutMovies16 October 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Pottsville, Idaho has some problems. A massage parlor is coming to town and the local conservatives are going insane battling it. And oh yeah - children are disappearing and people are being horribly murdered. Oh boy, 1983 was a magical time to be alive, because this movie may have seemed stupid to critics when it came out way back when, but I loved every single minute of this.

Much like Jaws, the authorities - including Mayor Lane (José Ferrer, The Sentinel) are covering everything up so that they don't damage the town's potato crop. That said, he hired chemical safety engineer Garcon Jones (what an amazing sentence that was to write), who is played by the always dependable Martin Landau. Detective Lutz is also on the case, played by Rexx Coltrane, who is in fact exploitation producer Bill Osco. Osco produced this film, as well as plenty of more adult titles like Flesh Gordon and Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy. He also worked with Jackie Kong, who directed The Being, to bring Night Patrol to the screen.

Toss in Kenny Rogers' wife (at the time) as a love interest and a mutant who is totally influenced by Alien and we've got ourselves a movie. This also curiously takes place during Easter, which has nothing to do with anything at all, other than inspiring its original title, Easter Sunday.

It turns out that the mutant has been exposed to radioactive materials in one of the town's dumps. And luckily, the mutant is light sensitive, so it only attacks at night. Will Martin Landau and the film's producer be able to stop it in time? Also, don't you want to see this even more when I tell you that Ruth Buzzi is in it? Or that in addition to Ferrer, this film has another Oscar winner in the cast, Dorothy Malone? What if I told you that Murray Langston, the Unknown Comic himself, was in it? Or that at the end of the movie, we get to learn what happened to every character after the film with title cards and then get to see every major character with a super of who played them (and anyone who has died, we get to see them die all over again)? For these reasons and so many more - like a creature that has one eye and hundreds of teeth, this movie is a must see.
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7/10
Criminally Underrated
johnch-4878830 December 2017
Though it has its faults, this movie has several core messages that make it work as a horror film. First, environmentalism: Showing how the disposal of nuclear material can negatively affect the world Second, the philosophical question of the innocence of children: The monster in this movie is just a mutated child who has little to no control over their actions, which brings into question the ethical validity of killing them/.
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6/10
Badly put together, too dark to see anything, cheesy...but I loved it!
Leofwine_draca23 October 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Well, I guess every horror lover must have their guilty pleasures and this is definitely one of mine. The moment I saw the cheesy, generic title grinning out at me from a dirty old video cassette in the dirty, old video shack where I rented most of my stuff from, I fell in love with this film. From the hilariously solemn voice-over narration at the film's opening to the tongue-in-cheek epilogue dialogue at the film's close (proclaming each surviving character's future fate), I enjoyed the hell out of this no-budget monster movie. Despite the fact that the direction is flat, the action lifeless, the acting wooden and the special effects below average, THE BEING is still a largely enjoyable monster movie which serves as a throwback to those '50s backwoods monster movies which still stay in the nostalgist's heart to this day. Take away the brief nudity and gore scenes and the resemblance would be uncanny.

Along with all the problems listed above, the film has further flaws (it's kind of like the runt of the litter - maybe that's why I take pity on it). For example, most of it is filmed at night (the monster only comes out at night, you see - gee, that's helpful for the special effects crew) and many scenes are so damned dark that you have to squint real hard in order to make out just what the hell is going on. This is aggravating. Also, the cheesy monster-on-the-loose stuff was very old, even when this film was made, and all it offers up are clichéd scares and broadcastable shock sequences. There's even one of those damned jumping cats living in a cupboard scare scenes.

It's a definite bad movie all right, but that doesn't stop it being unenjoyable. The first scene in the film has a boy being chased by an unseen menace. He jumps into a car at a scrapyard (which miraculously starts) and just as you think he's escaping, the monster pops up to rip him apart. That's the kind of film it is. This monster attacks a whole lot of people before the credits roll. His next hit is at the local drive-in theatre which seems to be showing a similar movie to this one (except with more gratuitous nudity thrown in for good measure). After filling a loving couple's car with slime in an admittedly spooky scene, the monster rips them apart (offscreen) and pulls another poor redneck out of the passenger window! Amid the monster attack sequences (which take up more than half of the film), we have the typical plodding police investigation. Detective "Mortimer" (I'm not kidding) finds the monster under his bed so is understandably nervous, but that doesn't explain why he talks to himself all the while. It turns out that local scientist Garson Jones is responsible for dumping nuclear waste into the local river, which has in turn spawned the toxic monster. Blah blah, heard it all before. Back to the monster action.

One reason I enjoyed this movie was the cast of familiar faces. Firstly we have Martin Landau (THE WARNING) as the local scientist who creates the monster unknowingly in the first place. I like Landau's haunted performances and here he gives another good one. Also appearing is exploitation stalwart Jose Ferrer as the town's mayor. Apparently lots of the supporting female actors are famous in America but as I've never heard of them I'll leave it at that. Our lead Bill Osco (acting under a pseudonym), resident Powers Boothe-lookalike and unconvincing action hero, is pretty lousy as the lead, and it's pretty boring to watch him being repeatedly beaten up by the titular menace.

Which leads me to the Being. Now in the world of derivative ALIEN rip-offs this has to be one of the most blatant. The same slimy skin, the same hands, the same bad teeth and the same jutting jaw. The only difference really is that this creature is red. But, although the special effects are cheap and awkward, I like this monster a lot. You see, it has a single human eye which rolls around a lot, which I personally find very disturbing indeed. Even frightening. This is a case where the design of the creature outdoes the execution and actually becomes successful. I have a feeling that most people will hate this movie, and it's recommended to real monster lovers only, but I think it's a blast!
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3/10
Not worth your time
lthseldy128 March 2004
This one was pretty bad, I bought it simply because of the names of Ruth Buzzy and Martin Landau, I could just see a cheesy horror movie being made of these two and becoming more funny like a cheap William Shattner movie or something but what this movie turned out to be was one big bomb. First of all, Buzzy's character was more like annoying than ever and the short role that she did play as a charismatic church lady I was glad when she was finally killed off in this film. And Landau with his short lived role as a bio-scientist trying to discover whatever it was that was stalking the town and why it kills he barely was even in this film and failed to try and be serious in the fast shortly killed off role that he did play. And the rest of the characters were just all over the place and the whole movie just did not make any sense at all and the film ended with an abrupt ending and I was just sitting there thinking about how much I wasted my money with all the other cooler videos I could have bought at that video store. Don't watch this one please, if you do, you'll be sitting there hoping that the being with finish you off before this horrible film does, I'm serious!
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5/10
An Average Horror Movie Worth A Watch
stephenabell10 July 2017
This isn't a magnificent movie, though it isn't a bad one either. This is pretty much as average as they come. A year before Toxi the Toxic Avenger graced out screens there was The Being.

This is a story about a boy who falls foul to a greedy Mayor who sells his soul to a corporation so they can dump pollution in his township. Once the boy is mutated, his damaged brain send him on a killing spree. As always, with the plethora of horror films, this could have been better, especially the story which is only there to create The Being.

What this film has in its favour is it's cast, though not the cream of the crop there are some very good masters of their craft involved. Both Martin Landau and Jose Ferrer in their respective roles of Dr Garson Jones and Mayor Gordon Lane, who is nice and sleazy. In fact, most of the cast give good performances with the material they have, even Roxanne Cybelle Osco, who is the little girl in the Easter Egg Hunt scene (one of my favourites in the film). The only person who seems miscast is Bill Osco as Detective Mortimer Lutz, his style is that of a Chippendale chair... Oh, and there's even a naked Traci Lord painting her toenails before being attacked by a rubber monster (sorry I couldn't resist - though it is true).

So why didn't this get a higher rating? For me, it's the directing. Though Jackie Kong's story isn't too bad for an '80's horror film his directing skills aren't up to the same standard. That said there are some good scenes. As I stated I liked the Easter Egg Hunt; I liked the opening sequence where you hear a radio broadcast informing the town that the storm has passed, this creates a nice atmosphere... which is then spoiled by a narration. The narration isn't required as everything is explained throughout the movie. I don't know if this was requested to be added later, it feels that way, or if it was the original plan, but what I do know is that it kills the atmosphere and spoils the feel of the film. This may even get a few people turning off. Kong is also good at filming in the dark as he opts to make everything visible (there's nothing worse than when a scene is so dark you cannot see what's happening). He can even build up the tension as the scene in the dinner shows, nice and creepy. If he could have kept this up for the entirety of the film it would have been so much better.

Then there are the effects. The ripping out of a heart is well done as is the oozing pollution which comes through the car's vents and radio. However, the monster itself is laughable and it's a good thing that you don't see it fully until the finale. It resembles a box of goo on a skateboard and the one eye it has doesn't look at all realistic; I was waiting for the glue to go off and the table tennis ball to fall off.

If you like, leave your brain at the door '80's horror and you've not seen this one yet then give it a gander as it's at least worth one viewing. It should be said that it would be better viewed in the dark with a nice cold drink... or two... or three... while the rain outside is spattering your window.
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4/10
Being and Awfulness, but still smiling
Greekguy24 September 2015
Warning: Spoilers
One year after the release of Wes Craven's "Swamp Thing" and a year before "The Toxic Avenger", "The Being" hit the screens in the US. This is a film that shares elements with both of them, but also reminds me somehow of "Lake Placid", albeit without much of the latter's intelligence or humour. In Jackie Kong's directorial debut, which was in fact shot three years before its cinema release, a small and peaceful town in the middle of nowhere (okay, Idaho) is overrun by destructive monsters spawned from irresponsibility (remember, this is years before "Gremlins", too), and it's up to the local lawman to save the day. Woefully unprepared, he sets out.

This film is unusual in that it attracted semi-major names (Martin Landau, Jose Ferrer, Ruth Buzzi and Dorothy Malone)to a project that clearly had no budget – no special effects, lousy sound and a script that has little to offer the actors or the audience. It's not a good film at all, but I feel somewhat protective of it – despite the lousy sets, the repetitive action and one of the most wooden leading men (Bill Osco)of all B movies. It's a taste of what average and sub-average horror flicks are still like (such as "Pinata: Survival Island" or "The Relic"), and yet there's this element of parody that is never more than an inch below the surface. Take, for instance, how everyone rolls around in passionate hugs with the attacking monsters, animating them with their own victim-flailing. It's both pathetic and hilarious. But that humour is not sustained, or developed.

So why do I like it? Perhaps because it might be that, more than anything, this was the picture that best prepared Martin Landau for his exceptional role in "Ed Wood". After all, this was a movie Ed would have loved.
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5/10
Whatever happens, blame it on the stormy whether!
Coventry19 September 2007
Okay, "The Being" is probably one of the absolute crappiest and cheesiest low-budget horror productions the 80's decade ever spawned (and that is saying a lot), but who can honestly bring him/herself to slamming it so harshly and even discourage other people to watch it? If nothing else, this film guarantees tremendous fun and it's never boring; not even for half a second. Surely the basic concept is unoriginal, the script is unimaginably incoherent and the acting performances rank among the absolute hammiest we have ever witnessed, but you could pretty much derive all that from one short peek at the DVD-cover, so don't come complaining afterwards! "The Being" is (unintentionally?) hilarious, with insane and totally irrelevant sub plots, unnecessary narrative voice-overs, stereotypical small-town USA rednecks, and grotesque splatter effects. The small town of Pottsville, Idaho (self-acclaimed potato capital of the world, mind you) has an unwelcome new arrival in the shape of a gooey & bloodthirsty mutated monster. He clearly likes cars, as he always hides in them, and he's undeniably the result of years of pollution even though the local scientist openly claims that it's safe to dump toxic waste in the water reservoirs. But Pottsville is dealing with more issues than just the slimy monster. The mayor's wife is on a sole mission to banish all pornography, the potato export business may under no circumstances get in danger, there's a lonely woman wandering around the streets without apparent motives, the deputy is too busy arresting Mexican immigrants who're fishing without a license and the local radio DJ blames all the missing person files on the tornadoes even though I didn't notice the slightest sign of bad whether. At one point, I was even suspecting the DJ to be the monster in disguise, because he seems to know who vanished before they're even reported as missing persons. In case cheesy gore and bad dialogs is what you crave, "The Being" certainly won't disappoint! We're already treated to a fabulous decapitation moment during the first five minutes, and there are several more delightfully gross massacres to enjoy throughout the rest of the film. Martin Landau receives top billing but his role is rather small. Good call, because he clearly wasn't very interested in the lines he had to speak and I suspect he just signed up because he had nothing better to do. Rexx Coltrane – his name makes him sound like a porn actor – is probably the most wooden actor I ever saw and his lack of talent particularly becomes transparent when he tries to convince the mayor something stinks in Pottsville. Honestly, feel free to watch this demented sick puppy in case you're looking for a couple of laughs and a handful of undemanding smut effects. Please do avoid if you have low tolerance for poorly scripted and inane 80's trash movies. "The Being" anonymously remained lying on a shelf for three years before it got released and the same director was also responsible for "Blood Diner" … How's that for bad omens? I guess the term "guilty pleasure" was invented exactly for movies like this.
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3/10
The Being is one of the worst 80's horror films.
veganluke10 August 2011
The only reason I checked out this film and bought it on VHS is because I saw a poster for it in The Monster Squad. I thought that it was going to be really good, but no was I highly wrong. One of the worst 80's horrors I have ever seen. You don't see the monster enough, and when you do all your pretty much see is it's mouth or arms. The acting was very weak, the people didn't even seem like they were trying. Some of the gore was alright in this, but this was just a big let-down of a monster horror film. I found myself getting very bored when the same monster attack kept happening over and over again, and the victim always had the same reaction. There's some strange dream sequence at one point, that was so pointless and stupid and really didn't need to be in the film. A very bad disappointing 80's horror, that I really thought was going to be good. If you're ever thinking about watching this film don't bother!
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1/10
Actors Needing Work & Money
whpratt112 October 2007
This is truly a very horrible film simply about a big glob of green mess that creates all kinds of problems for all kinds of people in a small town of Idaho where Jose Ferrer, (Major Gordon Lane) runs a big potato processing plant. We also have Martin Landau, (Garson Jones)who is a scientist studying nuclear experiments which he is very upset about. Dorothy Malone, (Marge Smith) is a woman who has lost her son and wanders all around this Idaho town and never seems to find a final conclusion. This is a film with great actors who are becoming elderly and looking for a pay check and it is great to see these great veteran actors performing and at the same time it is rather sad to see at what steps they all take to make a buck. Horrible film and a big waste of your time or money. Avoid.
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5/10
Monster schlock.
HumanoidOfFlesh5 January 2010
"The Being" is a schlocky creature feature made by female director Jackie Kong.I remember seeing her horror comedy "Blood Diner" many years ago and I didn't like it one bit."The Being" is a better horror film which has its share of flaws.A hideous mutant is running rampant in the small town of Pottsville,Idaho.It seems there has been some disposing of nuclear waste in the town dump,thus spawning the bloodthirsty being.There are some neat gore effects in "The Being" including a juicy decapitation and ripped out heart.The monster looks cheesy and the acting is atrocious.Overall,Jackie Kong's debut is a harmless piece of trash that provides some laughts.5 out of 10.
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2/10
The Being
Scarecrow-8810 April 2008
Warning: Spoilers
One eyed blob monster, a product of the usual toxic waste dumping(..as mayor José Ferrer put it so adequately, Pottsville was chosen by Industrial governmental scientist Martin Landau as "the most sophisticated dump site in the country."), with slobbery sharp teeth and terribly sensitive to light, attack the locals by wrapping it's lizard tongue around their throats, whisking them out of the camera frame. Sheriff Bill Osco, who dresses like a truck driver, even when at the town station, is to the rescue, ready to kill the monster if he doesn't bore him to death first with his non-performance and monotone voice. The blob monster could very well be the son of a haggard Dorothy Malone. Meanwhile Mayor Ferrer's wife Ruth Buzzi is having Easter egg hunts with the children, holding rallies against the new massage parlor coming to town supposedly advocating an arrival of filth to the community, and holding an opera within her home for a gathering of town folk. Marianne Gordon, who seems to escape the embarrassment in a low-key performance as a waitress and possible love-interest to Osco(..why she'd even be interested in someone as lively as a block of wood is anyone's guess), will be the woman in peril who would eventually walk Malone home and never be seen in the film again.

Now, to take a moment to talk about Landau. I think we can use "The Being" as an educational tool on how a prominent actor, at the very bottom of his career starring in this cinematic equivalent of a toilet bowl with fresh smelly turds, can rise from the ashes like a Phoenix thanks to two directors, Woody Allen(..in probably the finest performance of his career, "Crimes and Misdemeanors")& Tim Burton("Ed Wood"). I actually think Ferrer, last seen in this film driving off, quite wasted and frightened after seeing the blob monster, plays his role a bit tongue-in-cheek as a constantly annoyed Mayor who just wants to grow his potatoes and make his little town a wealthy place to earn a spot in Washington. Buzzi, is and always will be, Buzzi..she is the busybody always organizing something, and is aggravating as ever. I imagine that those still populating drive-ins as this flick came out(..I'm guessing, temporarily)probably cheered when Buzzi was on her way out of the picture. I think Dorothy Malone is a sex icon thanks to her work with Douglas Sirk, specifically her delicious nymphomaniac in "Written in the Wind", but is handed a terribly thankless(..practically meaningless, if the script hadn't made her son the one effected by the toxic waste) role in this steaming pile.

On Jackie Kong's directorial decisions come a narrative voice at the opening after a radio DJ tells us about rain showers and thunderstorms moving into the area, prophetically announces doom to the little town of Pottsville, Idaho. She also gives us a run-down at what the surviving characters did with their lives after the incident at Pottsville is over. The climactic showdown between the hilarious monster and Osco should earn some good laughs. This hunk of excrement will probably work the best for fans of rancid schlock. I did find the drive-in sequence near the beginning pretty fun..the movie playing equals "The Being" in quality which I find irony in. There's an attack scene where the monster, in gelatinous form, oozes from the air conditioning vents and radio to somehow kill a couple making out. It also puts an arm through a deputy holding his heart. Most victims, though, are pulled away by the thing. Best kill is probably the poor kid who tries to escape the monster getting his head removed.
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1/10
The all-time worst!
mythago10 April 1999
A film so bad, I'm not sure even MST3K could save it. Every time you think "This is the worst--it can't get any stupider than this," it does. I finally left at the cat-slaughtering scene.
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1/10
worst movie ever made!!!
l-j-kuipers26 February 2005
Almost eleven years ago, I saw the movie 'The Being". Beginning, story, end, plot ? None of these were present in the movie. I remember that at the beginning you couldn't hear or see the players. But I noticed very soon that it wasn't worth to watch this movie any further. So, I stopped the movie after +/- 50 minutes. This was enough !!! Was this a movie from the early 80's , CAN'T BE, I THOUGHT. It seems it was more a movie from the early 50's or 60's. By the way, it's more like a humor-movie. PLS DON'T BEGIN TO WATCH THIS LIKE A GOOD HORROR-MOVIE, BUT ACCEPT IT AS A HUMOR-MOVIE. IT'S FOR SURE THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE !!!!!!!
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1/10
No comments, only is terrible
cahen7 March 2001
Terrible! The movie is better that Armaggedon. How can do thing so bad! Don´t Look! Never!
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1/10
Worst movie ever made?
zack_gideon5 December 2018
Yes it is. It's not even bad funny. It's just bad. So bad. Don't watch. Watch anything except this.
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3/10
I saw this movie in the theater ....
MetroSkunk4 November 2018
.... when it first came out. I still remember it being awful. But I told my friend it was awesome and recommended he take his girlfriend. He did and they both hated it as much as I did. Story still makes me laugh.
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