Balbricker: [as all the staff members keep their mouths covered to stop laughing] Now, Mr. Carter. I know this is completely unorthodox. But I think this is the only way to find that boy. Now that penis had a mole on it - I'd recognize that penis anywhere. In spite of the juvenile snickers of some, this is a serious matter. That seducer and despoiler must be stopped; he's extremely dangerous. And, Mr. Carter, I'm certain that everyone in this room knows who that is. He's a contemptible little pervert who...
Mr. Carter: [abrupt] Miss Balbricker!
Balbricker: Well, I'm sorry, but I've got him now, and I'm not going to let him slip through my fingers again
[a murmur of mirth rises from several occupants]
Balbricker: . Now, all I'm asking is that you give me five boys for a few minutes. The coaches can be present - Tommy Turner and any four boys you see fit to choose and we... and we... can put a stop to this menace. And it is a menace.
[pause]
Balbricker: [irritably] Well, what are you gonna do about it?
[Carter hums and hars]
Mr. Carter: Err
[finally speaks]
Mr. Carter: Five young boys in the nude, a police line-up so that you can identify his tallywhacker.
[sighs]
Mr. Carter: Please, please can we call it a "tallywhacker"? Penis is so ppp... penis is so personal.
Balbricker: We can put hoods over their heads to avoid embarrassment
[Carter repeats "Hoods" in disbelief]
Balbricker: . Now listen: we have got to do it, as distasteful as it is. I know it's him. That
[pause]
Balbricker: tallywhacker had a mole on it. And that mole is the key to it.
Mr. Carter: Miss Balbricker, do you realize the difficulty of your request? Now, I would be very happy to, uh, to apprehend the young man myself. But can you imagine what the board of education would say if you were granted a line-up in order to examine their private pa... aaa... their... yaha...
[composes himself]
Mr. Carter: their private parts
[now firmly]
Mr. Carter: for an incriminating mole?
Balbricker: But Mr. Carter.
Coach Brakett: [stops stifling his giggling and speaks up] Mr. Carter, I think I have a way out of this. We, uh, call the police, and we have 'em send over one of their sketch artists.
[Carter rolls his eyes]
Coach Brakett: And Miss Balbricker can give a description. We can put up "Wanted" posters all over school... "Have you seen this prick?
[Carter struggles not to grin]
Coach Brakett: Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous.
[falls off his chair]
Coach Brakett: It was last seen hanging out in the girls' locker room at Angel Beach High School."
[everyone including Carter falls about laughing in hysterics as an enraged Balbricker storms out in a fury]
