The Pirate Movie (1982) User Reviews

A brilliant but bad movie.

[MartynGryphon · 23 October 2004]

I remember my dad renting this movie from the local video store in the late 80's and my brother and I fell in love with it almost instantly. As I got older I acquired a taste for Australian movies (probably one of the most under-rated film making nations). After seeing it had 'FINALLY' got it's DVD release, I just had to have it.

It is 'loosly' based on Pirates of Penzance, with a mixture of Gilbert & Sullivan music and 80's cheesy pop songs, (sung well by Atkins & McNichol). It's daft, it's dated, and the jokes have whiskers on them, but it's brilliant. It was clear to everyone going into it that this movie was never going to win many awards, but the whole cast seems to be enjoying themselves, and the making of this movie must have been a treat to be involved in.

Every major movie of the era is lampooned at least once Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jaws, all of them.

I hate the part with the guy being Inspector Cluseau, the scene is pointless and unwelcome. Special notice has to go to two standout performances. Ted Hamilton's Pirate King is a delight to watch throughout but even his great performance cannot better the wonderful Bill Kerr as the Major General, who's performance in the re-worded version of 'I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General' is by far the funniest thing in the movie.

On it's initial release, this movie was universally slated and nearly destroyed Kristy McNichols career, over the years It has become a bit of a cult movie, and takes me on a nostalgia trip every time I watch it.

thoroughly enjoyable, but, you're always left wondering who the target audience was for this film as the humour is an unstable mix of good clean family fun and risqué teen sexual innuendo. give it a go.

A cult sex comedy musical... for kids

[TelevisionJunkie · 10/10 · 19 April 2005]

My summary line is sort of strange, but gimme a chance to explain. As has been stated in a few of these comments, "The Pirate Movie" is a big cult movie. In terms of cult status, I'd certainly liken it to "Rocky Horror" or "Donnie Darko" -- not that it shares many common factors with either of those, just that there's this big audience that REALLY loves it. As with several other big flops from this era ("Midnight Madness," "Zapped!"), HBO is probably solely responsible for turning this into the cult phenomenon it is -- after all, they ran it endlessly in the early '80s.

But the real reason I felt it necessary to leave a comment is something that's barely been touched upon here. While many people have said, "I loved this when I was a kid," it's yet to be stated that this seems to be the key to loving the film. I saw it when I was a kid and loved it. I've shown it to kids, and they've loved it. However, the adults that I've shown it to (including several who usually go in for this type of film) hated it. My best friend watched it for the first time last night and, even though he's usually open to a movie like this, he griped all the way through it. His three year old son, however, was glued to the TV.

The saving grace for this film is that, while it IS technically a sex comedy, it's surprisingly innocent. A song called "Pumpin' and Blowin'" could very easily have been lewd and vulgar, but it's disguised as a bubblegum pop anthem (complete with animated characters). And that's the case with a lot of the jokes. While they're not squeaky-clean Disney fare from that era, it's all mainly innuendo, with nothing blatantly obvious: "You'll be hung," Kristy McNichol says, to which Ted Hamilton replies, "Oh I am -- and very well, thank you." How many kids are actually going to get that joke?

If you loved it as a kid, get the DVD and show it to your kids (though I'd avoid the dull director's commentary). If you have kids, show it to them. But if you're going into it for the first time as an adult, chances are it's not for you.

Wacky version of G&S operetta

[Antonio-37 · 8/10 · 29 December 1999]

Cuties Chris Atkins and Kristy McNichol, he of the blonde curls and she of the blonde curls, star in this wacky version of the old chestnut, Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert & Sullivan.

Atkins plays Frederic the boy pirate who falls for McNichol's Mabel. He was 21 at the time, two years after starring in Blue Lagoon, yet he retained the perennial look of a fifteen year old teenager. McNichol was a famous star at the time, but this is her first role as a femme fatale, not as a tomboy.

This movie could be a musical version of Blue Lagoon. See Atkins and McNichol cavorting in the skimpiest of costumes designed to show their pretty legs and other bits. Surprise, both of these two cuties can sing, and even dance a bit!

The story is too well know to bear repeating. But there are a couple of wacky twists, in the best tradition of the British music halls. Except this movie is an Australian production!

Of course we get the model of the modern major-general (Bill Kerr) with his famous solo song. But we also get a light sabre from Star Wars. We get Inspector Closeau from Pink Panther with a hilarious word play on "pirate" and "parrot". We get a bit of Indiana Jones. And the stars make those asides which are British music hall tradition, stopping in mid-scene to address the audience.

There's lots of double entendre jokes, again another British music hall tradition, where simple words are used with a possible vulgar or sexual meaning. See Frederic at the mercy of the pirate's sword say "nuts". To which the pirate points his sword at Frederic's boy treasures and says "But you'd still have one left".

A jolly good movie. One for a cold winter's evening to warm the heart. Even the old Victorians would approve of this one.

Favorite Flick!

[Peach707 · 10/10 · 16 May 2005]

I have been watching The Pirate Movie since 87' when I was 5yrs old. My dad taped it from the TV and I eventually wore it out. I insisted on getting the VHS and now the DVD. It's silly funny, a hopeless romantic, and a definite sing-a-long. Nobody understands my love for this goof ball flick. It's great to see that there are others out there who have actually seen this movie! I give it a 10 for making me laugh and cry after all these years. To me it's sorta like a feel good cult classic. OK. well that's a little far fetched. But, I think everyone is looking for that "Happy Ending!" If you decide to watch it keep an open imagination and you'll get it.

Wonderful, but a bit cheesy

[twirlbananas · 8/10 · 27 May 2005]

My parents taped this movie off the TV when I was about 7 years old. We still had the Beta machine back then. I loved this movie and I watched it over and over and over again. I would watch it, rewind it and play it again until my family got so sick of it, they would come in and turn it off on me. I had it practically memorized, but after we got the VHS, I couldn't watch it anymore and I was so disappointed. I meant to transfer it onto a VHS, but I never have. I always thought it was a made-for-TV movie until I found it on this site. After I found it here, I immediately went and ordered the DVD because I was so excited. I'm not sure why it appealed to me so much as a kid, but I loved the corny jokes and the music was very catchy and upbeat. My brothers and I still break into a chorus of Tarantara every once in a while. Plus the movie has a little bit of everything - comedy, romance, adventure, drama. The reason I gave it an 8 rather than a 10 is because some parts of the movie are a little too cheesy, particularly the underwater scene.

a signpost of the eighties.

[Dbusdriver71 · 8/10 · 4 July 2005]

This is one of the movies that still stands out as the perfect example of the movies that was the eighties. It was wonderful and it is still as fun now as it was so many years ago. It's greatest testament is time; how long and how well it has endured. There will always be people (cynics from the 90's) that only measure a movie by the dollars and cents that it made in a certain time span. This movie is over twenty years old and still is that good. The academy awards gave 'million dollar baby' an academy award for best picture; let's see how good it endures twenty years from now! Political correctness is not necessarily that main test of how good a movie is. Like Ghostbusters and Goonies, a must see for movie enthusiasts who LOVED the eighties as much as I and many others do, that want to be entertained by movies and not judge a movie simply on how much dollars a certain movie makes or its political correctness.

Ignore any rating less than 7 - here's why!

[charlieinfinite-96215 · 10/10 · 24 April 2020]

Anyone rating this less than 7 clearly doesn't understand the film at all. When Gilbert & Sullivan first wrote The Pirates of Penzance in the late 1800's, they were writing it in satire of the operatic idiom. If the film's title wasn't enough of a clue in itself, The Pirate Movie is a satire of the sort of musical adventure cinema we were seeing in the 70's and early 80's (see Grease, Xanadu, The Wiz, Godspell, Jesus Christ Superstar, Man of La Mancha, Rock & Roll High School... the list goes on!). Also, it was just meant to be a lot of fun. If you are going in, expecting something with the musical mastery of West Side Story, The Phantom of the Opera or Les Miserables, you are looking in the wrong place. If a film that could be the lovechild of The Goonies and ABBA sounds intriguing, then you are going to have a blast! So put away your critic's notepad, pop some corn and enjoy!

Cheesy and everything 80s

[philipfhayes · 6/10 · 13 January 2019]

Found the movie while searching youtube for something to watch. the dance numbers and singing make this super cheesy and I love it. from the cast and Ruth just being there for comedic value its everything you want

Fun cheesy musical!

[katherineheise · 9/10 · 11 August 2018]

Rented this over and over as a kid and had to buy it. Love the cheesy story of a romantic feminist!

A Very Pretty Pirate

[bkoganbing · 6/10 · 3 May 2009]

For Christopher Atkins The Pirate Movie was a followup to the big hit he scored in The Blue Lagoon. Since his public expected him to look as much as he did in The Blue Lagoon, Atkins spent a lot of time without too many clothes on. And he had his hair curled once again for The Pirate Movie. He never had curls like that naturally, but it was done for The Blue Lagoon and had to be done here as well. Just like Mario Lopez had it done that way on Saved By The Bell.

The great sex symbol of the early Eighties was teamed with Kristy McNichol who had a following of her own with the television series, Family. The Pirate Movie is a modern version of The Pirates Of Penzance with some contemporary music added to the score of Gilbert&Sullivan.

Of course Gilbert&Sullivan purists will be horrified, but actually if The Pirate Movie inspires some kid to check out classics like the original Pirates Of Penzance, than the making of The Pirate Movie will serve its purpose. In this film you'll get to hear some modern music together with such classics as the Model Of A Modern Major General.

The film was shot in Australia and it sports an Aussie supporting cast behind the leads of Atkins and McNichol. I have to say this is one of the few films you'll ever see where the male lead is prettier than the female one. That was Christopher Atkins's problem the rest of his career.

Long live the Pirate King!

[leah_is_ · 10/10 · 23 June 2005]

I have also been watching this movie since I was in grade one! I fell in love with it, and so did all the females in the family! We have watched it way over 200 times, know all the words, and songs, and even the dance moves (heehee)! One time we had to bring it back to the videostore, after watching it non stop for 2 days, and we were wishing we kept it. So we were flipping channels, and what should appear? The (original)Pirates of Penzance!!! Now, almost 25 years later we introduced my 3 year old niece to it. She LOVES it! She has watched it at least 3 times a day over a 2 week period. She's learning the words and singing the songs...and just absolutely adores Happy Ending! So the tradition lives on....

For I am the Pirate King, I don't buy this orphan thing, we'll go away without dismay, but we'll be returning....

TED HAMILTON, WHERE ARE YOU?!!!??? LONG LIVE THE PIRATE KING!

Great fun!

[brokenearsoftware · 10/10 · 21 June 2005]

This is not a "deep" movie by any stretch of the imagination (and it never pretends to be that), but it was the first and one of the very few movies that I saw on video, rewound and saw again immediately. I then bought the video (also a first for me at the time!) and saw it again several times since it never fails to cheer me up. I think that Christy McNichol was absolutely great. She seriously outplayed Christopher Atkins. Most of the songs are great, especially the cheeky one that Christy sings on the boat. Frankly, I cannot understand for a moment why this movie did badly. It is just an immensely enjoyable, lighthearted, upbeat movie!

Purely fun

[acedj · 9/10 · 12 November 2019]

Perhaps it is nostalgia, or perhaps it is because I have my set of like when it comes to movies, but I have always loves this one. This is the story within a story of a young man, born on a leap day that is forced to remain a pirate until his actual 21st birthday. He falls for the daughter of a Major General and is caught between honor and love. That synopsis sounds way more serious that the movie actually is. This is a movie/musical version of The Pirates of Penzance. It is fun, filled with great songs and plenty of PG rated action. This movie seems to be receiving a lot of hate on here, and I have no idea why. Each movie must be weighed on its own merits. One cannot compare this to say, Citizen Kane, they are no where near the same. Can one like this as much, or more than that, of course.

Beautiful Representation Of True Love and Dreams Coming True!

[hewwopeople · 10/10 · 15 July 2019]

The Pirate Movie was a glorious film that showed true love at it's finest. The complex characters, such as Mabel and Frederick, were stunning actors with overflowing talent and beautiful singing voices. The characters these actors portrayed had very deep and meaningful, yet fun interactions throughout the movie. The plot was meticulously crafted and is the epitome of amazing storytelling. I would, without a DOUBT, give my compliments to the hair and makeup crew, who obviously worked hard giving the character visible personality, such as Mabel, who was sporting a fabulous pixie cut with a long, thick flowing mullet behind her.

Secondly, the MUSIC. I am one for musicals, but this movie goes above and beyond with talented lyrics and tunes, such as my favorite song from the film, "Poppin' and Blowin,'" which also features many fun animated sea creatures for little kids who happen to be watching this terrific film.The song "Give Me A Happy Ending," which was played three times to emphasize importance, embodies the hope in all of us that, one day, we too will find the prince of our dreams and end life on a happy note.

Thanks for reading. I highly recommend this film to watch with the friend, the family, the Fredrick, or even just by yourself. Have a good day.

A Childhood Favorite

[rosannag · 10/10 · 11 June 2018]

I still have my VHS tape and have watched it 100s of times over the years. I need this to come out on demand, please! I cannot remember the last time I even owned a VHS player to watch this.

Slapdash pirate musical with "Airplane!"-like spoofery...

[moonspinner55 · 4/10 · 29 July 2006]

A wallflower is tossed into the sea and dreams herself into a pirate fantasy as a damsel in love with a pirate's apprentice. Energetic and good-natured, perhaps, but a shoddy enterprise; a failed musical send-up of "The Pirates of Penzance" with a cheap, backlot feel, wan bubblegum songs and constant, leering overacting. Kristy McNichol's film career took a real hit after this, while leading man Christopher Atkins cannot get a grip of any particular emotion, his voice wobbling about in search of an appropriate tone. You have to wonder, if that's the best title they could come up with, what's the level of wit going to be in the actual script? The movie's "Grease"-like affection for musicals doesn't gel with its penchant for slapstick a la "Airplane!", although McNichol works overtime being effervescent and nearly makes the limp handling look endearing. For the most part, it is an embarrassment. *1/2 from ****

Excellent Movie

[klvirgo · 10/10 · 19 July 2005]

I have to agree with the last review. I grew up watching this movie like every single weekend. I haven't seen it since I was really little and I bought the DVD just recently, and let me tell you it's better now then how it was then. I can't believe how much sexual content there was til I watched it. I watched it 4 times in a row last night, lol. I just couldn't get enough of their silly humor. I raved about how great this movie was to my friends, but I think the above reviewer is right in stating adults just watching it will not really like it as much as a kid. I found myself during the first time watching it in a long time just talking out loud the dialogue before a scene would happen. I also sang the songs when the movie wasn't on, lol, and caught how funny and great the songs really were.

Don't waste your time - Rent "Pirates of Penzance" Instead

[tuneyloon · 19 May 2002]

I found "The Pirate Movie" to be a terrible movie. The lyrics were "dumbed down" (one example I remember: "hypocritical" substituted for "sanctimonious" in the "Pirate King's Song", the jokes were inane (I remember the collective audience groan when Frederick was told to "use the force" to recover the sword!) and the added songs were embarrassments (The contrived sexual innuendo of "Pumping and Blowing" was excruciating to watch!).

Instead, I STRONGLY recommend you rent "The Pirates of Penzance", starring Kevin Kline and Linda Ronstadt. It is a funny and fairly faithful adaptation of the Gilbert and Sullivan original. It is a MUCH BETTER movie. "The Pirate Movie" was a spoof of the operetta. There was really no reason to parody "the Pirates of Penzance" since it is hilarious in the first place. In this version, Kline steals the show as the "Pirate King". He is fabulously funny!!! Angela Lansbury's "Ruth" adds to the fun. Linda Rondstat shows off her versatile voice and gets into the silly spirit of Gilbert and Sullivan. Rex Smith, though not on a par with Kline, Lanxbury and Ronstadt, is an adequate Frederick (certainly better than Christopher Atkins in this mutt).

Parodies of classics can be excellent. This one wasn't. Don't waste your time.

Without a doubt, the absolute WORST movie in the world

[raptorstryke · 1/10 · 30 April 2006]

First off, I would like to make it clear that I voluntarily subject myself to the viewing of terrible movies. I have seen what I thought were the worst of the worst. In my mind, movies could not get any worse than the likes of D.E.B.S., Leprechaun 6: Back 2 Tha Hood, and Terror Storm. Until I saw this movie.

The Pirate Movie, without any exaggeration, is the WORST MOVIE IN THE WORLD. I was informed prior to watching that the movie was, indeed, awful, but I did not believe the allegations. Believe me when I tell you that this movie is simply an abomination to film.

It starts out with a 3 minute clip of a boat of pirates apparently in the middle of a battle with themselves. "The End" splashes across the screen. Unfortunately, it is not the actual end of the movie. The movie is about an unpopular, awkwardly nerdy girl named Mabel, who carries around a ghetto blaster and is attracted to ambiguously homosexual pirate boys. She drowns and has a overly drawn out hallucination in which she stars as a scantily dressed skank who falls in love with Frederic, who happens to have just crawled out of the ocean. He might actually be homosexual. The Pirate King has a ruby and diamond studded codpiece. It honks and squeaks when he squeezes it.

There is singing in this movie. You might have the impression that this is a hilarious musical. It isn't. Trust me. They are the worst songs that you've ever heard, and by the end of the first original tune you will be searching for objects to pierce your eardrums with.

There are "references" to other movies in here. By references, of course, I mean "obvious rip-offs." The inclusion of Indiana Jones, Inspector Clouseau, and the lightsaber were, in fact, anti-hilarious.

The dialogue is, in its better moments, painful to hear. The direction is flat out awful, and at one point you can see the stunt pad in the scene, which isn't very well hidden at all.

In conclusion, if there is even the shadow of curiosity in your mind about this movie, get rid of it. There are times when people want to see how bad something really is, but this movie is not worth it. Put it completely out of your mind and never think about it again. If you cherish your mental capacity then I beg of you, NEVER EVER WATCH THIS MOVIE.

Even worse than "Gentlemen of Titipu"

[catuus · 1/10 · 10 March 2008]

Well, I hate to admit to being wrong, but there actually is a worse Sullivan & Gilbert adaptation than "Gentlemen of Titipu". This one seems to pin its hopes on the presence of some delectable eye candy – namely, Chris Atkins, fresh from taking his clothes off in "Blue Lagoon". This is a performance that "runs the emotional gamut from A to B" – as the brilliant Dorothy Parker once snipped about the equally brilliant Katharine Hepburn.

Don't worry, friends; it goes downhill from there.

The film in question goes by the title "The Pirate Movie". The reason for the title is, apparently, that the people responsible have pirated some pieces of Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance" – just enough to make you wish they had pirated the whole operetta and jettisoned the drek they added to the maimed remains they used.

Appearing in this wanton travesty are a bunch of little- and un-knowns who couldn't have salvaged the production even if it was good. Which of course it isn't. So the whole baggage sinks under its own dead, dead, dead, boring weight. Well, it wasn't their fault, really; it was a job for a lot of people who, judging by their credits on the IMDb, didn't get many. The names are withheld to protect the presumed innocent.

The story of "The Pirate Movie" follows the general and well-known outline of "Pirates of Penzance" (which is easy enough to look up if you don't know it) – although with a number of rather stupid changes that sap it of its original vitality. To substitute for this vapidity, a composer was hired to write some "up" music. His talent, if any, is scarcely on display. What we get meager quotations from some of Sullivan's "Penzance" tunes – although not always readily recognizable and usually not in the spirit of the original. Then there is a lot of stuff in a two-bit modern idiom that is also wholly out of touch with Sullivan's originality and wittiness.

This film is so awful on so many levels it's hard to find anything positive to say about it. The color is vibrant; that is to say, wasted on what it shows. The sound is at least too good for the material.

Ah, well. At least Atkins runs about in descamiado mode for most of the film, which I suppose is some slight compensation. And not enough. Avoid this turkey.

The worst movie musical I've ever seen

[adavidw · 13 August 2002]

Last week, I watched the Rankin-Bass animated "The King and I", and thought I was going to die. This week, I watched "The Pirate Movie", and began to pray for death. I had to settle for gouging my eyes out so that I may never be subjected to this big steaming pile ever again.

Okay, all you people who enjoy this are Drunk!

[jonvalentine2 · 1/10 · 9 June 2005]

Drunk. And not just a little drunk. I LOVE musicals, I even love bad movies. But this, dear God... I'm half-way through, and even half-naked Christopher Atkins ain't gonna keep me hanging' on. The bad special effect of the ship through the cove is very funny... oh wait, Chris just climbed aboard the ship in a loin cloth (even if it really looks more like a diaper)... maybe there is some homo-erotic value after all... NO, not worth it. I love the way that the film gives Sullivan a writing credit because a portion of his lyrics have been cannibalized for the movie. I also think its hysterical that another reviewer noted that the film "nearly" ruined Kristi McNichol's career. Yea... NEARLY. Movie go back to Blockbuster Right Now!!

Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!!!

[Clint Ford · 10/10 · 14 August 2002]

I was a kid who was lucky enough to have HBO growing up. Around 1983, I was 7. That was right around the time that they began playing "The Pirate Movie" OVER and OVER again-- much to the delight of myself and my brother.

We watched it every time we saw that it was coming on. The songs, the choreography... the FUN!! Oh Lord, the amount of FUN these lucky actors must've had filming this movie!! I can't even begin to imagine! They get to wear cool pirate get-ups, swords round their waists, (--and they used FENCING Foils instead of Rapiers... go fig.) and they get to romp around on Caribbean beaches with a bunch of scantily-clad young women and act silly! --and they got PAID for this??

The Pirate Movie was very well made, and I don't care what anyone says-- the song parodies were WONDERFUL tributes to Gilbert & Sullivan. The music is wonderful-- which is immediately obvious by the front-running song "Victory!" at the opening credits.

Granted, there are a number of sexual innuendos... but they are fairly-well masked-- so as to go straight over the heads of younger viewers. The Pirate Movie is a wonderful summer movie for a kid to watch. It's chock full of romance, action, swashbuckling, excitement, and HUMOR! Kids will laugh their tails off at this! I just bought a new copy for myself, and when my 5-year-old daughter turns six, I think I'll let her watch it, too. I want her to be able to get SOME of the jokes, after all...

I would say that the only thing I DIDN'T like about "The Pirate Movie" is the title. I mean, c'maaan! After being SO creative in re-writing "The Pirates of Penzance" so well-- the best title they could come up with was "THE PIRATE MOVIE"?? Oh well...

In closing, "The Pirate Movie" is absolutely, definitely one of my FAVORITE movies of all time. It's better if you first see it as a kid... but it's still full of chuckles as a grown-up.

10 out of 10.

Funny I have watch it 100's of times and still find it funny

[clubgus · 9/10 · 31 October 2012]

A bit of Australian Comedy from back in 1980's, featuring some of the most nicest places in Australia including Melbourne, Werribee Mansion, Polly Woodside, Palm Beach, Sydney where Home and Away is filmed. I haven't watched the stage show but these characters are pretty Funny Gary McDonald with his police inspector impression, the sissy police officers, the major General etc.. It is a quirky film and things don't make sense look in the scene where Mabel and Fredrick are kissing at the beach landing there is a Rock with graffiti on it. Much of the film is a Dream so allot of the things you see don't make sense but you just take the film not seriously and you will enjoy it. The Songs are catchy and from watching the film it has inspired me to visit Werribee Mansion in Victoria and Polly Woodside in Melbourne City. A Classic Movie leave reality at the door and just take in some great 1980's humour.

Arrgh, an Ok film

[mighty_pickman · 5/10 · 29 February 2004]

Arrgh me hearties, this is an OK movie about singing & dancing pirates.

The film keeps a fine pace when it involves the pirates, but struggles to keep an interest when there no salty old seadogs involved in the scene.

Ted Hamilton as the Pirate King, provides a performance that is reminiscent of Errol Flynn at his peak.

Most of the outdoor scenes were filmed at Werribee Mansion, a site that is one of the most commonly used in Australian TV & film.

Arrgh I give this little piccy 5/10, a good film for the youngens. Arrgh.