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Title: Tarzan the Ape Man (1981)
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| Complete credited cast: | |||
| Bo Derek | ... | Jane Parker | |
| Richard Harris | ... | James Parker | |
| John Phillip Law | ... | Harry Holt | |
| Miles O'Keeffe | ... | Tarzan | |
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Akushula Selayah | ... | Africa |
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Steve Strong | ... | Ivory King |
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Maxime Philoe | ... | Riano |
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Leonard Bailey | ... | Feathers |
| Wilfrid Hyde-White | ... | Club Member (voice) | |
| Laurie Main | ... | Club Member (voice) | |
| Harold Ayer | ... | Club Member (voice) | |
The Tarzan story from Jane's point of view. Jane Parker visits her father in Africa where she joins him on an expedition. A couple of brief encounters with Tarzan establish a (sexual) bond between her and Tarzan. When the expedition is captured by savages, Tarzan comes to the rescue. Written by Anonymous
So, just how bad is the 1981 version of Tarzan the Ape Man? Everybody knows that it has a reputation as one of the very worst movies ever made, so when you sit down to watch it, you know it's going to be rubbish. The main element of fun is experiencing just how bad it really is. Can it really surpass Plan 9 From Outer Space? Is it as idiotic as Astro Zombies? Is it as boring as The Bible....in the Beginning? Is it as unintentionally funny as The Swarm? The answer is.... yes! This movie really is right down there with the worst twenty or so films ever made.
The story focuses more on Jane (the talentless Bo Derek), who arrives in Africa to reunite with her tyrannical, boozy, abusive father (Richard Harris). During a jungle expedition, she goes missing and is rescued by ape man Tarzan (Miles O'Keefe), only to fall in love with him.
O'Keefe is unquestionably the worst Tarzan ever, and Derek is probably the worst Jane. Richard Harris's performance is energetic and entertaining, but why he bothered to put in such a lively performance is anybody's guess. It's certainly a wasted effort.
The backdrop is nicely photographed, but then again anyone can design a nice postcard. The characters moving around in front of the scenery are so banal and idiotic that the film fails on every level. The worst moment of all is the dreary slow-motion snake wrestling sequence.
Miss this movie at all costs. Unless you want to compile a list of the worst films ever.... if that's your aim, then this is a must!