Frankenstein Island (1981) Poster

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1/10
Stupefyingly awful, a don't-miss!
angelynx-218 July 2000
This thing is so mind-boggling that words almost fail me. I literally spent 80% of it with my jaw dropped in utter disbelief, punctuated by bursts of incredulous laughter. Nothing in it makes ANY SENSE AT ALL! I mean, our castaways arrive on the island in a perfectly serviceable rubber raft, and the first thing they do is set off in quest of wood **to build a raft with!** Anytime anyone mentions a specific place name (i.e., Kansas City) they suffer stabbing pains in the right forearm for absolutely no reason whatsoever! Do I even need to mention the frequent cryptic appearances ("The golden thread! The power! The power!") by the Floating Head of John Carradine, the tribe of leopard-bikini-clad island girls who are really aliens, the mad doctress Sheila Frankenstein (also a Van Helsing relative) and her platinum Tammy Faye Bakker wig, a 200-year-old colleague of the original Doc Frankenstein, and a whole lot of skulls, tarantulas, blood transfusions and rocks? Or the climactic grade-Z kung-fu battle between the ski-hat zombies, our heroes, the jungle girls and the completely ineffectual Frankenstein Monster (yeah, he's in here too)? --Hysterically funny and a DO NOT MISS for any fan of the really, REALLY bad.
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1/10
A masterpiece of incoherence.
humanresistor12 August 2002
Briefly speaking, nothing in this movie makes any sense at all, either on the level of overall plot or of individual scenes or even lines. This would have to be one of the most relentlessly stupid movies ever made. As soon as it looks like something is remotely intelligible, the actors and director seem to do their utmost to bring in yet another non sequitur.

The dialogue seems to have been written by someone who's never actually heard a conversation between people before, and acted by people who've never participated in one.

However, it's extremely amusing. This is an extraordinarily bad movie, but that's not because it's boring. The pink lunchbox, the contact lenses with white-out on them, the rubber skulls, the guy who keeps laughing constantly for no reason, the suburban living room in the middle of the deserted island, the power that attacks your arm when you "mix the particular place, not here but on the outside" (that is, say the name of a city)... champagne cinema.

You could do much worse than track a copy down - but beware - some video copies have the goofiest scenes edited out!
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oh my Gosh!!!!
rerun-517 June 1999
My VCR taped this movie in 1986 at 2:30am when it was supposed to be recording "Kings Row". I have never been happier at the error. Here is a film I show to old friends and new loves. It is so bad...so beyond bad, really, that this film could be a guest on Jerry Springer. Lets quickly move from the plot: stranded balloonists discover themselves on an island with Jacques Cousteau-like zombies, amazon women warriors in spandex leopard prints, and...a weird, unresolved Frankenstein motif. That aside, it is constant hilarity. Plastic pitchforks, the same we carried at Halloween as kids, are waved in front of the camera to suggest danger. A shoe box ,, painted red on the lower half and put on a gyro is the electronic brain for the monster. The actress playing Frankensteins relative, Sheila!!!, is a hoot since she is seen reading her lines from off set (behind bookcases, etc). The ending pales since the beginning is so rapturously inane and silly. It is not to be missed. Please don't turn off when the Mighty Kung Fus scenes occur...or the tiny skulls appear in a gas-lit barbeque to intimate danger. Or when poor Cameron Mitchell appears as Captian Ahab/Queeq explaining how he allowed his crew to become zombies. Best scene: at the very beginning, when the balloon crashes, the dog on board jumps off and pees on the seaweed as the titles run. Such honesty in cinema is so rare.
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You really gotta see it to believe it!!
ZEE-1123 November 2001
You have to admire Jerry Warren's zeal for bad movie making. This gem is soooo incredibly bad it is a masterpiece. Or should I say "messterpiece! Coming off a 15 year hiatus after he was sued for "The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman", Warren returned to filmdom with this offering. Words ,indeed, can not describe. A must see for any bad movie zealot.Be astounded and baffled all at the same time! Jerry Warren is truly one of THE kings of bad cinema.
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Never boring
horrorbargainbin13 November 2002
With other bad films the novelty wears off fast. Not this time. True the budget is low, but not so low that new crazy elements can't be sprung on the viewer in every scene. Some of the props are not impressive. For example a barely-altered plastic devil fork (used as a magic wand?) and department store mannequins (experimented on?). Don't be deterred though, the sets and costumes are all fun and the plot moves fast.

John Carradine is in this movie less than any top-billed star has been in any movie. You will see that he was no doubt not on the same set. In fact, you will see his performance does not even demand that he be on any set.

The very end is so cheap that it will make you mad. Still, this movie pleased me and I laughed a lot.
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Anti-perfection begets perfection...
johnmorghen1 March 2002
John Carradine once stated that "BILLY THE KID VERSUS DRACULA" had to be his all-time worst film. I am assuming, with all due evidence, that he never saw the final cut (or any cut, for that matter) of "FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND".

Quite possibly, this may be our finest piece of cinematic flourish. You won't find a study of it in any film class, which really makes one question the need for such studies, and very little referrence in books. This one registers "off the blicker" one-hundred percent.

Say what you will about the effects, acting, scenery, bikini-clad babes, zombies with ski-knit caps, erroneous use of John Carradine footage, men who wear a scarf (yet, are not gay), horrible dialogue, Cameron Mitchell's eye-patch, et cetera, et cetera... I have to say that this is one of the most entertaining films, I have ever seen. If you lower the bar, low enough, you can't go wrong. A true curiousity, for those lacking curiousity.

You've gotta love any film with the name "Frankenstein" in the title, that holds back the appearance of said monster until 78 minutes into it. Now, that's either a great example of commitment, or lack of budget. Who can really decide?

"FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND" was made in 1981, yet it looks like something out of the late '50's to mid '60's. A definite time warp. But, then again, that's Jerry Warren for you. The man's got style.

It's impossible to parody such a film, as it is the perfect parody of itself. Does it really take itself seriously, or are we fools for thinking it does? Perhaps, the joke is on us, the whole time. Either way, this film is brilliant. A definite must see for any enthusiastic or non-enthusiastic film enthusiasts.

It's not worth that much, but I urge you to see it for all it's worth. This film will either p**s you off, entertain you or, like a sliced onion, bring tears to your eyes. From a logical standpoint, there is no doubt that this may be one of the worst films ever made, but let's be logical about it... a film that bears that distinction could, in fact, be one of the best films ever made.

My philosophy: Expect nothing, and get everything.
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1/10
The absolute worst movie I have ever seen.
okesquire10 March 2002
I saw this movie when I was in the Navy in the early 80s. I still remember every horrible detail. The long hair of the soldiers. No two uniforms were the same. "The Power of the Golden Thread"... which was never explained. The aparition of Dr. Frankenstein, or his son, or grandson, or whoever. I prayed to God that something would make sense before I left the theatre. It never did make sense. I assumed as I left the theater, that some director's 14 year old son wanted to direct his own movie, and did so with about $5,000 of daddy's money. This is horrible even for an inexperienced 14 year old on a $5,000 budget.

YOU MUST SEE THIS MOVIE to appreciate how truly bad it is. You will be embarrassed for all associated with it. You will be angry with yourself for wasting your time to watch it. I can't believe I'm wasting my time writing about this horrible horrible movie. Can one suffer from PTSD merely from having watched a bad bad movie?
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1/10
The Wild World of Jerry Warren
dmanyc31 May 2014
Warning: Spoilers
If you thought The Wild World of Batwoman was a bad movie, you haven't experienced Frankenstein Island. You have a Murder's Row of actors who have a tendency to star in bad movies. If you're a MSTie, you know these people. Cameron Mitchell, missing his glued-on beard and warrior muumuu (Space Mutiny). Tain Bodkin, still preaching (The Giant Spider Invasion). Katherine Victor, Batwoman herself without the nose mask but stealing one of Dolly Parton's wigs and not aging gracefully. Richard Banks no longer the Mexican Zorro Ratfink (The Wild World of Batwoman). And the big kahuna himself Steve Brodie (The Giant Spider Invasion AND The Wild World of Batwoman). Throw in John Carradine's floating head looking like Jeff Dunham's grumpy old man puppet Walter, Amazon women in leopard print bikinis, lots of hot air balloons in the opening credits, a 2,000 year old man getting what I think is blood transfusions to stay alive, zombies dressed like they're cat burglars, and the monster himself resurrecting...from a body of water inside a cave. As for the plot, I wish I could tell you. Not that I'm trying to not spoil things, I just can't remember what the heck this film was about. How sad is it that the only credible actor in the whole movie is Melvin the dog? Watch at your own peril.
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3/10
Any fan of bad films will have a field day with this one
lemon_magic8 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I've only seen one other Jerry Warren film (to my knowledge), "The Wild World Of Batwoman", but I would easily put him up there with Ray Dennis Steckler ("The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies?!!") as one of the top five people in Western Civilization who should never be allowed near a camera again. And I hope that at some point the poor guy who made "Robot Monster" got a chance to see this - it would have cheered him up immensely to see a film that made "RM" look like Francis Ford Coppola.

What an amazing mess. Watching it is like watching 9th graders (trapped in the bodies of adults) trying to pretend they are acting out a Boris Karloff movie. The only good thing you can say for it is that the movie doesn't seem to take itself seriously - it's just trying to have a swinging good time and to entertain the audience.

Watch it for the sheer novelty value only.

Jerry Warren: Your guarantee of movie incoherence.
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Proves they could make them as bad in the 1980's as they could in the 1950's!
zcarey14 November 2002
When watching this film I asked two questions...

1. WHY IS THING LIKE A BAD 50'S HORROR FLICK?

2. WAS THIS A TAX WRITE OFF?

But when ya come down to it..it's so bad it's funny!

"Ballonists" crash land on a island no one has "charted" which is inhabited by Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons!

If that wasn't bad enough the Practice "witchcraft", aka dancing with fake snakes, and jiggling their bodies alot, lol!

Then..they run into crazed guy left from a crashed sailing ship...who offer them a chance to go to "the house" after a cusomary groping of the Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons!

Soon thereafter the "Ballonists" are taken to an OBVIOUSLY fake jail facility whre they meet Jayson- a crazed sailor who has been imprisoned for 17 years and spouts alot of Poe for no reason.

Soon the "Ballonists" meet Mrs. Frankenstein! She explains to them that the assistant to Doc Frankie is still alive after 200 years due to some osrt of "blood transufions" from the Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons and Jayson.

One of the "Ballonists" is a scientist(Of course) and gets wrapped up in helping Mrs. Frankenstein and the 1/2 alive assistant to Doc Frankie as the floating head of Doc Frankenstein, promisng the Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons, "The power!! The power!!'

Of course, for no reason, they are also making "mutants"(Guy in caps with sunglasses, that seem to be "gump-like")

I won't give the ending away, you'll just have to watch this sucker!!

It plays like an Ed Wood movie, and would have belived it was one, except for the fact he died in 1978!

Rent it, you won't be disappointed!!
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1/10
"Those are the most beautiful vegetables I've ever seen!"
poolandrews29 October 2004
Where on Earth do I even start to try and attempt to write a review of Frankenstein island? It's not going to be easy but I'll try to explain the basic plot to begin with. We open with shots of hot air balloons, supposedly over the ocean somewhere, but we never see the ocean and balloons in the same shot together so we have to take their word for it. It seems their looking for a balloon that crashed in a tornado around this area, at this point I asked myself what is there to 'crash' a balloon into in the middle of the ocean? And why are they using balloons to search for them? Why not a helicopter which would make a lot more sense? Then again nothing in this film makes sense. Anyway, one of the balloonists says "the water, man! The ocean! Anyway you shake it, those poor devils either ended up on it, in it or under it!" This sort of inane dialogue that sounds like it was written by a five year old continues throughout the entire film. After that they presumably give up as their never seen or mentioned again. Then we get the opening credits, after which we are introduced to our main characters. Four men stumble onto a beach somewhere, carrying a perfectly good inflatable raft, this obviously how they made it to the island. Curtis (Tain Bodkin), Dino (Patrick O'Neil), Mark (Robert Christopher), Dr Paul Hadley (Robert Clarke) and Melvin their dog, for some unknown reason they decide to leave their life raft behind, which is a great idea considering their trapped on an island surrounded by the ocean, and enter some caves nearby. While walking along in the surprisingly well lit cave some strange device projects the image of Dr Frankenstein (John Carridine) momentarily, for absolutely no reason, you had better get used to things happening for no reason, as it happens a lot. They all exit the cave safely and are greeted to a barren landscape of trees, bushes and fields. The directors local wood then. As they approach some trees while talking, Curtis suddenly grabs his wrist and scream in pain. This is accompanied by weird electronic sounds. Scary. The sounds stop and Curtis is fine again. As 'explained' later in the film it was down to Curtis mentioning the name of a place, in fact it happens to anyone who commits this mortal sin. Then they notice that a woman dressed in a Leopard print bikini is tied horizontally between two trees, and is surrounded by plastic skulls on sticks. Not something you would expect to see everyday. It turns out that she is a member of a tribe of young beautiful primitive females who speak perfect English. Oh and their also half alien, this film is so insane its untrue! At the half alien/half primitive female's camp, just a few rocks with a fire in the middle, Dino looks on at a woman looking at herself in a mirror. Mark walks over to him and Dino says "thats the weirdest thing I've ever seen", when the film cut back its a different woman, this time she's holding a small snake. At this point I again asked myself another pressing question, why would someone describe looking at a woman admiring herself in a mirror and a woman holding a snake as the weirdest thing he's ever seen? When earlier in the day he had witnessed a half naked woman tied between two trees and surrounded by skulls? I think this film was made up as they went along. More barmy characters are introduced, Sheila Frankenstein (Katherine Victor) the great, great granddaughter of Dr Frankenstein, two old guys who run around for her, Sheila's husband Dr Von Helsing (George Mitchell), Clay Jason (Cameron Mitchell) who's supposedly been imprisoned on the island for seventeen years, and bunch of idiotic stupid looking zombie guards who wear blue jeans, black turtle neck sweaters silly black hate and over sized sunglasses, and a few even sport fake mustache's, you have to see them to believe how idiotic they look, and eventually the Frankenstein monster itself. I could go on forever about how bad this film is, the script makes no sense at all, about half way through the film the four start to discuss leaving the island and building a raft, yet at the start of the film they are clearly seen with a perfectly good rubber dinghy, and a sequence where about ten people hide behind one tree to escape the attention of a zombie guard. The Frankentein monsters rampage is depicted by it knocking over a table with some beakers on it, and just waving its arms about. The ending is awful too, but then what did you expect? The fight sequence here is laughable, the actors look more like their dancing with each other, check out how far the punches and kicks miss by! At one point for no reason, one of the zombie guards grows vampire fangs, obviously the sort you buy on Halloween from any good corner shop. One zombie guard also uses a small plastic devils trident, probably brought from the same shop as the fangs and plastic skulls. I could go on and on about how bad, idiotic, stupid, lame, boring, and poorly made this is but I think you get the idea. Its not all bad however, at one point Doc comes out with one of the funniest lines I've ever heard in a film, while Sheila is showing our hero's her garden, Doc picks up a large vegetable and says "those are the most beautiful vegetables I've ever seen". Absolutely hilarious, as is the whole film, you really have to see it to believe it, and even then you might not. How Jerry Warren had the nerve to film this rubbish I'll never know. Not bad in a good kind of way, just plain bad.
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10/10
My new all-time favorite movie!
ubik-1117 October 2002
It's finally on DVD and boy was it worth the wait! This is a real jaw-dropper. There is one amazing scene after another. The dialogue is simply surreal. It arrived in my mailbox last week and I've already watched it twice. Amazing. It just doesn't get any better than this.
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2/10
Yes, it really is that bad...
mikey-242-43576714 December 2012
I read the reviews. I said to myself, "Well, this could not possibly be as bad as all that." Well, it is. It starts right away. The patterns on the balloons keep changing from shot to shot in the credits. And there are many of them talking on the radio. What happened to the other folks with radios? Did they not call for a rescue ship? Nobody knows... It never comes up in the movie.

Then these four goofs come on shore and one is still holding a raft in his hand and it talking about having to build a raft. Why? At that point they just arrived and have not searched around the island and already have a fully inflated rubber raft.

And they immediately ask "How will we get over these bluffs?" Why do they need to. Wait for the pickup from the people who are coming to get you. No mention of that. Seems like the opening credits and radio chatter is from a different movie.

Well, it goes from there off onto several different plot threads. They intersect from time to time, minimally. And there is that laughing fool. He even laughs while he is drinking his moonshine. Quite a talent. And what is he laughing at so much? That spinning, pink ammo box is just too much! And the confusion of plots (snakes, tarantulas, machine guns, trident that turns women into vampires, a brain without a head running everything, John Carradine speaking gibberish) continues until, thankfully, this movie is done.

My great thanks to the director for not making the movie ANY LONGER! And you won't believe the ending. I guess it is an ending. Or they just ran out of film. Not fulfilling at all.
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1/10
Godawful! I want my hour and a half back!!!
phibes01200019 December 2004
This stupid movie is about a group of guys who get stranded on an island run by Ms. Frankenstein (her name is really Van Helsing, but she hates to use her real name (?!) They get tangled up with lots of island freaks and a guy who could be Frankenstein's monster at the end of the film. What irritates me most is to feel ripped off when I watch a flick, so when top-billed John Carradine only shows up in dreamy flashbacks and Cameron Mitchell only has a few lines I was thoroughly let down. I was also astonished that anybody would want to waste good expensive film on such nothing. The "evil guy with a loud laugh" gave me a headache. Not even good camp, just a wasted one hour and a half of my life. I want my life back!!!
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3/10
Man... where to begin?
Roddenhyzer17 June 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Alright, "Frankenstein Island". Whatever image this title may conjure up in your mind, just forget it, because the actual goings-on in this astonishingly bizarre sci-fi horror oddity are guaranteed to thoroughly rape your expectations. In fact, there's very little that *isn't* going on in this one. You get a touch of ancient aliens, a spoonful of wild Amazons, a taste of science gone wrong in the pursuit of immortality, some channeling, occultism, semi-vampirism, zombies, a pickled corpse, mind control, martial arts and, of course, Frankenstein's monster is also waddling around somewhere in there. The movie is so chock-full of half-baked ideas and random nonsense, it makes you wonder whether the script was originally written on paper, or a padded wall.

It starts out harmless enough: Four balloonists are washed ashore a mysterious island after having crashed their balloon into the ocean during some sort of balloon-related world record attempt. Upon exploring their surroundings, the men encounter a rather welcoming tribe of friendly, albeit vaguely occult Amazon women in traditional bikini outfits. They all enjoy a little feast and a tribal dance party, but the fun ends the next day, when another, less friendly group of inhabitants makes their presence known, namely a handful of stranded shipwreck survivors, who have been on the island for quite some time. They proceed to introduce our protagonists to none other than doctor Frankenstein's great-great-granddaughter, who, too, happens to have a cozy summer domicile plus laboratory on this apparently very popular island, and her near-comatose husband, who possesses the remarkable ability to channel the ghost of the actual, deceased Dr. Frankenstein. As you might imagine, this is where things get a little weird.

Now, the main problem I had with this movie was its pointlessly complicated and at times quite hard to follow storyline. I don't think it was necessary to inflate this simple premise of a ruthless scientist doing strange experiments on a remote island with quite so much random fluff. As I mentioned above, there are enough half-developed ideas in this to fill three movies, and they're all haphazardly dumped on the main story without any sense of cohesion. It doesn't help that the characters, especially the bad guys, are pretty inconsistent when it comes to their behavior.

All in all, if you're up for a legitimate Frankenstein sequel, go with something like "Son", "House", "Ghost", or "Curse of Frankenstein", and steer clear of this one. However, if you're seeking out something with a "so bad, it's good" appeal, "Frankenstein Island" is definitely not a bad choice. It's all a huge, spectacular mess that'll make your brain beg for death, but at least it's not boring.
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1/10
"Dead Trees Are Buoyant, Too!"... "I'll Fix That Clown!"...
azathothpwiggins19 November 2018
Director, Jerry Warren's (THE INCREDIBLE PETRIFIED WORLD, TEENAGE ZOMBIES) final film, FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND is his ultimate lead pipe to our brains! Opening w/ hot air balloons talking to each other, we know we're in Warren territory right away. The four-man crew of one of the balloons, which apparently crashed into the ocean at some point off camera, arrives on the shore of the titular landmass, only to be captured by native women in matching leopard skin bikinis and flip-flops. Obviously, these wild women must dance! Horribly! To a crazy bongo beat! Then, after a brief interruption, it's smoking time! Out of skull bongs! Several severely annoying, idiot characters -especially that cackling guy!- are introduced, and many nonsensical events occur. This somehow leads to our heroes meeting Cameron Mitchell, playing the worst role of his career! He rambles. he murmurs. He blathers about nothing at all. Enter the be-wigged Sheila Frankenstein Von Helsing (Katherine Victor) in the worst role of her career, and that's quite a feat! And on and on. This "film" is a true test of will for any viewer. Most won't survive its mind-evaporating effects! Warren's ability to induce coma is at its apex here. Absolutely nothing makes sense, and nothing really happens! Wha...? More dancing! Good lord! The disembodied John Carradine cometh, spouting, "The power! The power!! The power!!!", and we know we are in hell! Battling zombies, dressed as longshoremen! This movie is one for the ages, certainly in the running for the worst... whatever it is... of all time. Good luck w/ this one my friends, but beware the spinning, pink bullet box of infinite terror! Mr. Warren, your vengeance is complete... P.S.- The finale, featuring the bikini women vs. the longshoreman zombies vs. a hand-waving, grumbling Frankenstein's monster in earth shoes, Benji the wonder dog, plastic fangs, halfhearted karate, and a non-functional machine gun, is almost worth the wait. Almost...
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2/10
Woof! This one's a dog!
BandSAboutMovies1 October 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Jerry Warren made plenty of movies, like The Incredible Petrified World, The Wild World of Batwoman and Face of the Screaming Werewolf. This was the last one he'd make before his death.

Four balloonists and their dog Melvin crash onto a remote island. Yes, I just wrote that sentence. They're captured by pirates who takes them to meet Sheila Frankenstein (Katherine Victor, who played Batwoman in the previously mentioned film), who is turning shipwrecked sailors into zombies that have to wear sunglasses. Yes, I just wrote that sentence, too. You read it. It doesn't have to make sense.

Meanwhile, Sheila brainwashes Dr. Hadley (Robert Clark, The Hideous Sun Demon) to help her revive her 200-year-old husband Dr. Von Helsing using the blood of Cameron Mitchell and the bodies of Amazon jungle girls who are the descendants of aliens! Mitchell is great in this, as all he does is quote Edgar Allan Poe.

But let's not forget the ghost of Dr. Frankenstein, played by John Carradine, that powers all of her experiments from Heaven. Or Hell. Or somewhere else. He keeps yelling and ranting while his monster waits in an underground cave waiting to escape!

Andrew Duggan (It's Alive) and Steve Brodie (Donovan's Brain) are also on hand for this mixtape of mind jolting horror. It's a piece of crap, but it's a short and somewhat entertaining piece of crap.
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3/10
Poe, Shelley, Stoker and Wells Turning in Their Graves
Cineanalyst25 August 2018
I can't decide whether "Frankenstein's Island" is so bad it's good or just so bad it's one of the worst pictures I've seen, so I'll split the difference. It's got its moments, including one of the lamest choreographed fight finales ever filmed, complete with an arm-waving Frankenstein monster, where it's worth a chuckle. The narrative is rather tiresomely convoluted, though--a bricolage of different horror stories, mythologies and B-to-Z picture tropes.

Four balooning dudes, who, although this is an early-1980s film, look like they stepped out of the 1970s with their bell-bottoms or otherwise skin-tight pants, large lapels and a neck scarf, are washed ashore on an island where, à la H.G. Wells's "The Island of Doctor Moreau," strange experiments are carried out, including cross-species ones. Heading these experiments are the giant superimposed head of the ghost of, from Mary Shelley's novel, Dr. Frankenstein (John Carradine, better known for playing Dracula in some mediocre and some bad films) and the nearly-200-years-old, from Bram Stoker's, Dr. Van Helsing. Ironically, it's now Van Helsing who is receiving blood transfusions to stay alive, rather than his administering them in Stoker's story. Some of the characters also develop fangs before they die, for some reason, which, I guess, alludes to vampires. Bringing the families together is Van Helsing's wife and great-great-granddaughter of Frankenstein.

There are also shades-wearing zombie body guards; another guy dressed like a sailor who sports an eye patch and is always cackling and boozing; an Edgar Allen Poe-quoting prisoner; bikini-clad, witchcraft-practicing alien Amazons... or something, who charm snakes and other creatures and smoke something from skulls; and a dog. The laboratory includes the usual Jacob's Ladders, dials and doodads, supported by beeping and video-game-like sound effects. Moreover, much of the story is spent on the men planning to make a wood raft to escape the island--even though they discarded a perfectly-fine inflatable raft when they came ashore. It's quite the mess and, at best, a campy hallucination.
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1/10
The family business is weird science
bkoganbing30 March 2018
Just like the family business of the Reagans is law enforcement the family business of the Frankensteins is weird science. In fact they've now got their own south sea island where they can carry on their work without the prying eyes of neighbors or the law.

A few players like Cameron Mitchell, Steve Brodie, and Andrew Duggan hit career bottoms in this one. John Carradine at this point was doing little else but garbage like this feeling I guess he had nothing to prove.

Four hot air balloonists crash and wind up on the island where they find the Frankenstein family set up shop. Some crazy mutants are running around, the failed previous experiments and a tribe of scantily clad amazons trying to survive.

A terrier named Melvin was in the balloon as well. He gives the best performance in the film. Melvin also with a single gesture at the beginning tells us what we are about to see.
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1/10
What did I watch?
Flooopdoodle1 March 2018
Warning: Spoilers
The first moment of "acting" in this film will make you feel really, really good about yourself: If these people can be in the movies, so can you! It never lets up on making the viewer feel far more talented, capable, and intelligent than all the people involved in this film, except for John Carradine and Melvin the Dog, both of whom are above the judgment of mortals. My only wish is that the musical sound track was available on Spotify so I could use it to punish my cat when I'm not home. If you continue watching until the leopard-bikini clad woman says "You are pretty," don't stop, because your wild ride of hilarity is about to attain escape velocity.
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3/10
Terminally awful
Leofwine_draca25 February 2018
Warning: Spoilers
FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND is a terminally awful B-movie horror flick from director Jerry Warren, who had been working in the genre since the 1950s. The plot sees a group of cardboard characters crashing their hot-air balloon on a remote island, which they soon discover is inhabited by a descendant of Frankenstein who is carrying on his sinister experiments. This juvenile nonsense is PG rated and features all manner of plot weirdness, from cheesy zombies to laboratory scenes and over-ripe dialogue. Frankenstein's Monster makes a last-reel appearance which really isn't worth the wait. Cast-wise, the washed-up likes of Robert Clarke and Cameron Mitchell wonder what happened to their careers, while John Carradine is projected on to a wall. This film deserves note for featuring one of the dumbest lines of dialogue I can remember hearing in a movie: "I'm Sheila Frankenstein...actually, it's Von Helsing, but I don't prefer my married name".
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2/10
It's Frankensteen…
juliankennedy2325 April 2017
Frankenstein Island: I watched the Rifftrax version of this. It really didn't help. This is awful. Really awful. Yes, there are girls in leopard skin bikinis, one of the main characters sports an ascot and there is a disembodied Carradine head. It just doesn't help. This is Mysterious Island with a fifty dollar budget. Don't get me wrong the boys at Rifftrax get some good lines in and it is almost worth the watch just for that. But there are simply moments of soul draining boredom that the riffing cannot soothe. Not quite to the Hamlet or Red Zone Cuba levels but certainly close. The irony is the movie has a cast and premise that could easily have been turned into watchable trash. It is just too incompetent for its own good.

Worth a glance if you are brave and have a book nearby to read during the slow bits with the Rifftrax. Hopeless movie without.
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1/10
"The backup brain was hidden years ago, just in case!"
bensonmum211 June 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Frankenstein Island is an incomprehensible mess of a movie. Anyone rating it higher than I have is kidding themselves. There may be a laugh or two in the "so bad, it's good" sort of way, but this doesn't make up for the overall disaster than is this movie.

Most any review you'll read on Frankenstein Island will point out the numerous faults in the film. While I'm not going to even attempt to go over all of that well-worn ground, a few things really hit me that I want to mention.

1. Plot – What a disaster! Frankenstein Island feels like someone took about five movie plots and tried to jam them into one movie. Plot threads go nowhere and are never resolved. And in the end, we're left with a movie that has no ending. No attempt was made to wrap things up with any explanation or resolution. It just ends.

2. John Carradine – He may be listed as one of the stars, but he's never really in the movie. A poorly projected image of Carradine rambling on about a golden thread and power inserted about every 20 minutes doesn't' really mean he's in the movie. The 8X10 glossy of Carradine conspicuously placed in a number of shots doesn't cut it either.

3. Cameron Mitchell – Poor, poor Cameron Mitchell. He really must have been in a hard way to appear in this thing. He's one of my genre favs – love him in Blood and Black Lace. His role here is embarrassing.

I could go on and on, but there's really no point. I could write pages about things like: Sheila Frankenstein's name and hair, zombies dressed like WWII French resistance fighters, Amazons in leopard skin bikinis (where were the leopards?), Steve Brodies ridiculous one-eyed Jocko, a "backup" brain, building a raft when you already have a raft, long stretches of film with an uncomfortable lack of dialogue, etc. There's just too much.
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So bad it's not funny
Wizard-87 April 2010
Jerry Warren is known best for his awful '50s and '60s B movies, though his last movie "Frankenstein Island" was made in the '80s after a long break from his other efforts. You might have thought he would have learned something during the years of inactivity, but apparently he didn't. For one thing, you could almost swear this movie was made in the '50s, with the music, attitude, and cheap special effects. (I might have been fooled if the movie had been shot in black and white.) Anyway, you might think that this would be a campy exercise, but it isn't - it's pretty painful to sit through. The first twenty or so minutes are passable and are pretty easy to follow, but after the twenty minute mark the movie slowly starts to collapse and become a mind-numbing mess that makes no sense. Why do the protagonists decide to build a raft when they already have a raft? Why were they hot air ballooning over the ocean? Why do they not question the shipwrecked sailors immediately after they encounter them? Why is the all-female group a primitive tribe when they are descendants of space aliens? Why are the protagonists so blasé about practically everything they witness? Why does John Carradine barely appear in the movie? Why is the movie so DULL? I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
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1/10
arrghh!
timbo-2713 December 2002
Just awful....words cannot express how boring the entire film was. After 5 minutes I was fast forwarding. Stopped at bikini'd locals....lost interest and fast forwarded to the end in the hope for some nudity..to which sadly there is none.
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