The Cannonball Run (1981)
Burt Reynolds: J. J. McClure
J.J. McClure : Listen to what I'm telling you. You go find a doctor. Get me Dr. Kildare. Get me Dr. Livingston. Get me Dr. Frankenstein. Just get me a doctor! Go where the - go where the doctors hang out.
Victor Prinsi : Where is that?
J.J. McClure : Bars, golf courses.
Victor Prinsi : Golf course, bar. All right. Where else? Hospital!
J.J. McClure : Try that too.
J.J. McClure : what about a black trans-am? No, that's been done!
J.J. McClure : Look, we can't have a car with numbers on it. So, we're going to have to disguise the car somehow.
Victor Prinsi : Alright.
J.J. McClure : How about a big, black limousine with diplomatic plates?
Victor Prinsi : Nah!
J.J. McClure : Nah. I know, a bloodmobile. They wouldn't stop a bloodmobile, would they?
Victor Prinsi : Nah!
J.J. McClure : Nah.
Victor Prinsi : An ice cream truck! Yeah, an ice cream truck! Y'know, they gotta get there before it melts!
Fenderbaum : [Fenderbaum and Blake's Ferrari drives alongside J.J.'s ambulance] Pull over! We want to give you our blessing!
Victor Prinsi : J.J., there are two priests in that car. They want us to pull over.
J.J. McClure : Victor, that's two priests driving a Ferrari. When's the last time you saw two priests drive a Ferrari? What are they doing, taking home the bingo money?
Victor Prinsi : No, they're doing the work of the Lord. In a Ferrari, they can just do it faster.
Jamie Blake : I just want to thank you for informin' them about us back in Missouri. You know, how we're flashers and sex maniacs.
J.J. McClure : Well, I was just repayin' you for what you and the chocolate monk did back in Ohio.
Fenderbaum : Chocolate Monk?
Jamie Blake : He can say that. Yeah, he can say that, cause he's ridin' around with the "Good Year" blimp!
J.J. McClure : [Looking at Vic] He can say that. He can say that cause if I had the time, I'd take those rosary beads and shove em up your nose.
Jamie Blake : These rosary beads? Up this nose?
J.J. McClure : Yeah.
Jamie Blake : Will ya take a little advice? Bring friends.
Fenderbaum : Ha! Lots of em.
J.J. McClure : Hey, Victor, didja get anything to eat?
Victor Prinsi : Yeah, I gotta lotta goodies for you guys and a Big Gulp Dr Pepper for me!
[singing and dancing]
Victor Prinsi : "I'm a peppa/You're a peppa/He's a peppa/She's a peppa/Wouldn't ya like to be a peppa too?
J.J. McClure : [impatiently] WILL YOU GET IN HERE?
J.J. McClure : Excuse me. Excuse me. Hey, Mad Dog!
Mad Dog : Hey, J.J!
J.J. McClure : Look, you probably didn't realize this, but the parking lot's outside.
Mad Dog : I know. The brakes went out.
J.J. McClure : Who do you think you are? The president?
Mad Dog : [imitating Richard Nixon] Well, let me make one thing perfectly clear, we feel terrible about it. Now, if they can't take a joke,
[gives the up yours arm gesture sans finger]
[At the Portofino Inn, Victor, in his Captain Chaos persona, saves a woman's dog from drowning in the bay and is hailed a hero, but J.J. is furious, as his selfless act cost him and J.J. the championship win]
Victor Prinsi : [as Captain Chaos] J.J., I've saved that woman's dog.
J.J. McClure : [furious] Victor... we could've won that race. Do ya understand what I'm telling you? We could've won it!
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing : You understand that? You had to go and pull that stupid stunt.
Pamela Glover : He's right, Victor.
J.J. McClure : We are sick of Captain Chaos. We are so sick of Captain Chaos that we could throw up. So you know what, Victor? There's not gonna be anymore Captain Chaos.
[grabs and rip off the mask from Victor's head; yells]
J.J. McClure : NO MORE! Ya see what I'm telling you? NO MORE!
[snatches Victor cape and slams it on the ground]
J.J. McClure : No more Captain Chaos EVER! Now what do ya think of that?
[crowd laughs as Victor seemingly feels broken-hearten over J.J. act of poor sportsmanship]
Victor Prinsi : I don't care, because...
[changes into a new superhero persona with a American flag-like mask and cape]
Victor Prinsi : I've always wanted be... Captain USA! Da-Da-DUM!
[J.J. and the racer laughs]
Victor Prinsi : It's a dirty job, but somebody go to do it.
[the racers, all neck and neck, are approaching the finish line, with Mad Dog and Batman in the lead]
Mad Dog : We got 'em.
Batman : We got 'em!
[Suddenly a car come in the way, forcing Mad Dog & Batman's GMC truck to do a 180 stop. Bradford and Shakey's motorcycle slips and skids]
J.J. McClure : [screams] LOOK OUT!
[J.J. and Victor's ambulance van and all the other cars come to screeching halt]
J.J. McClure : [yells] Okay, it's a foot race!
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing : I've got the card.
J.J. McClure : No, gimmie that, Doc! Come on, it's a foot race!
[All the racers storm out and begin running to the finish line to see who can be the first to punch at the clock and win the race]
Victor Prinsi : Have no fear! Chaos is here! DA-DA-DUM!
J.J. McClure : [hands Victor the time card] Take it and win, Captain!
Pamela Glover : Come on, Chaos! You can do it!
[as Victor and Marcie sprints, J.J. jumps on the other racers, tackling them down]
Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing : Does anyone need medical attention?