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Serial (1980) Poster

(1980)

Quotes

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Martha: You-ness. Me-ness. Us-ness. We-ness.

Sam Stone: [snorts]

Martha: Your-ness. My-ness. Our-ness. Happiness.

Harvey Holroyd: [whispering] Sickness.

Kate Linville Holroyd: [whispering] Harvey!

Martha: And now, Bill, I'd like to hear where your head is at.

Bill: Thank you, Martha, for pushing my button.

Stokely: [shakes head in disbelief]

Bill: Thank you for inviting me to participate in your life, for I am an asshole. And being an asshole is neither good nor bad. It just is.

Reverend Spike: I think that says it all.

Harvey Holroyd: [whispering] These are exciting times, aren't they? Gas is over a dollar a gallon and it's okay to be an asshole.

Kate Linville Holroyd: [whispering] Shh!

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Bill: So we both said "Hey, we've got a caring relationship, we're each willing to give the other the space to grow and nourish our basic aloneness. Why not make a total commitment, in a legalistic sense? So tomorrow's the big day.

Fred Peele, man on ferry: I can dig it. Who's the chick?

Bill: Martha Sterns.

Fred Peele, man on ferry: No, I don't know her.

Bill: Used to be Martha Byers.

Fred Peele, man on ferry: No, I'm not familiar.

Bill: And before that, she was Martha Crimm.

Fred Peele, man on ferry: And before that, Martha Peele?

Bill: You know her?

Fred Peele, man on ferry: I'm Fred Peele.

Bill: Right, her first husband!

Fred Peele, man on ferry: No. Her second.

Bill: Right.

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Reverend Spike: Fellow beings, we are here to celebrate a wedding. Not one imposed by an uptight consumer society, which kills whales, builds nuclear reactors, but a real marriage. Will you touch each other please?

[Kate and Harvey hold hands]

Reverend Spike: Beautiful. Harv, can you relate to making a heavy commitment, to share your space with Kate, respecting her identity as a free being?

Harvey Holroyd: No.

Reverend Spike: No?

Harvey Holroyd: No. I promise to love, honor, and cherish Kate Linville Holroyd in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, forsaking all others, for as long as we both shall live.

[Harvey turns to Spike]

Harvey Holroyd: You asshole!

Reverend Spike: Kate, will you tell us where you're coming from?

Kate Linville Holroyd: I think Harvey took the words right out of my mouth.

Reverend Spike: All of 'em?

Kate Linville Holroyd: Including the asshole.

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Harvey Holroyd: Stokely?

Stokely: Yeah?

Harvey Holroyd: What are you doing here?

Stokely: I practically live here.

Harvey Holroyd: Really? Why the plastic turd?

Stokely: It's my homework. He says my mind is not in touch with my body, so I'm supposed to learn my body's beautiful. Starting with shit.

Dr. Leonard Miller: [Enters] Stokely, may man! Ah, you remembered your little turd. Nummy, nummy, nummy. Oh, hi, Harv.

Harvey Holroyd: Leonard, this'll only take a minute.

Dr. Leonard Miller: I'd love to, but you see, it's not my decision, see, this is Stokely's hour.

Stokely: Are you kidding? Take the whole hour!

Dr. Leonard Miller: Beautiful, babe! Kid's learning to share. Thanks, Stoke.

Stokely: Screw you.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Atta boy.

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Harvey Holroyd: Leonard, Leonard my family is in big trouble.

Dr. Leonard Miller: You want to rap about that for a while?

Harvey Holroyd: No. I want to find Kate.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Yeah, well, you know, separations are painful. Now if you like, I can put you in our grief programs...

Harvey Holroyd: I just want to find out where she is.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Hey, Harv, that's her space.

Harvey Holroyd: Right. And what's the address of her space?

Dr. Leonard Miller: Harvey, you ever been primaled?

Harvey Holroyd: No.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Rolfed?

Harvey Holroyd: No.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Fischer-Hoffman?

Harvey Holroyd: No.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Orgonomy?

Harvey Holroyd: No.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Silva mind?

Harvey Holroyd: No.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Actualized?

Harvey Holroyd: No.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Transactional analysis?

Harvey Holroyd: No!

Dr. Leonard Miller: Feldenkrais?

Harvey Holroyd: [angrily, losing patience] Have you ever had your head shoved up your ass?

Dr. Leonard Miller: 715 Blythedale Canyon.

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Harvey Holroyd: [after exiting a grocery store, chatting with a checker] Hey, wanna go have a cup of coffee?

Marlene: Oh, I don't drink coffee. It's an artificial stimulant.

Harvey Holroyd: Of course. Then you wouldn't want to have a drink, either. So what do I offer you? A bite of my onion?

Marlene: I'll tell you what: how about if I just go home with you and we go to bed together?

Harvey Holroyd: We could do that. Sure.

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Martha: Rachel... It's about the uniform.

Rachel: Oh, you want me to wear regular clothes so people will think I'm just your black friend who dropped by to clean your house because I ain't got nothin' better to do?

Martha: Could you?

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Dr. Leonard Miller: I'm okay, you're okay.

Harvey Holroyd: No, you're not okay. Okay?

Dr. Leonard Miller: Okay.

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Stokely: In an insane society, the sane man must appear insane.

Harvey Holroyd: Where'd you get that?

Stokely: Star Trek.

[leaves the room]

Harvey Holroyd: [to himself] God, I miss that show.

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Kate Linville Holroyd: Ginger Gallagher has a lot of experience with this. Her cousin lost two kids to the Hare Krishnas, and one was clubbed to death by a baby seal hunter.

Harvey Holroyd: What ever happened to running away and joining the circus?

Kate Linville Holroyd: You know, they say this group finds kids who are alienated, and love bombs them until the feeling of being wanted is irresistible. So the only way to fight it is to smile all the time and love bomb them right back.

Harvey Holroyd: Perfect, 'cause I plan to love bomb the SHIT out of those bastards.

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Kate Linville Holroyd: [after entering an opulent and unique house, home of a cult] Oh my god...

Harvey Holroyd: Careful Kate, you might get an answer.

Cult Member 1: Wait here, please.

Kate Linville Holroyd: It's hard to believe they can afford all this from just selling carnations.

Harvey Holroyd: I have a feeling some poppies were involved.

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Kate Linville Holroyd: I can't believe I called the high priest a cocksucker.

Harvey Holroyd: I thought you were terrific.

Kate Linville Holroyd: I think that we've lost her, Harvey.

Harvey Holroyd: No, maybe for a little while. She's a smart girl, Kate. Besides, she hates purple. Kate, I think we ought to give us another shot.

Kate Linville Holroyd: We have a negative family dynamic!

Harvey Holroyd: I don't know, I think we have some important stuff going for us.

Kate Linville Holroyd: Yeah, anger, mistrust, alienation, lack of communication...

Harvey Holroyd: Right! And goddamn it, I'm not going to give that stuff up without a fight!

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Carol: By the way, I saw Harvey last night with his secretary.

Kate Linville Holroyd: Oh, yeah, I know, he said they were working late.

Carol: At an orgy?

Kate Linville Holroyd: [laughs] Carol, you know, you've always been really open with me, and I'd like to be open with you, too. You're a cunt.

Angela Stone: But extremely well dressed.

Carol: Thank you.

Angela Stone: You're welcome.

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Harvey Holroyd: We can't make it here. We've got to get away.

Kate Linville Holroyd: I know.

Harvey Holroyd: You do?

Kate Linville Holroyd: Yes.

Harvey Holroyd: Well then what do you guys think about Denver?

Kate Linville HolroydJoanie Holroyd: Denver?

Kate Linville Holroyd: What's in Denver except a lot of snow?

Harvey Holroyd: Well, my new job, and our new place, and Joanie's new school. It's going to be rough at first, but I think if we keep an eye on our spending we're going to be alright.

Kate Linville Holroyd: Oh, it won't be that rough.

Harvey HolroydKate Linville Holroyd: [Kiss]

Joanie Holroyd: I've got to hand it to you guys, you're weird, but you've got balls.

Harvey Holroyd: Thank you Joanie, but watch your language, okay? They don't talk that way in Denver.

Kate Linville Holroyd: Denver, that's near Aspen.

Harvey Holroyd: Yeah.

Kate Linville Holroyd: Isn't that where they have the Institute for Humanistic Studies?

Harvey Holroyd: I hope not.

Kate Linville Holroyd: You know, that'd be sort of good for us, relating to a community that isn't, oh, you know, superficial.

Harvey Holroyd: Kate...

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Dr. Leonard Miller: Well, hey, Stokely, what's happening, babe?

Stokely: Nothing.

Martha: Darling, will you excuse Leonard and I for a minute? We're going to have a private rap which doesn't concern you.

Stokely: Bullshit.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Good! That's cool, Martha. Stokely's a patient, I'm his therapist, he knows why he's here. Why don't we informally dialog about it, then Stokely and I can go inside and rap in a more structured manner.

Martha: Right. This morning I caught Stokely, not in a sense of spying, you know how I feel about violating a child's space.

Dr. Leonard Miller: I hear ya.

Martha: This morning I caught Stokely dealing with the maid as a sex object. Of course, for her own protection, I had to let her go.

Dr. Leonard Miller: You were reaffirming her selfhood, without denying your own power perimeters.

Martha: Exactly.

Dr. Leonard Miller: Good girl. Now as far as Stokely's concerned, it's just a question of putting him in touch with his childhood.

Stokely: I'm only ten years old, you dork!

Dr. Leonard Miller: Well, then we don't have too far to go, do we?

Stokely: Schmuck!

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Angela Stone: I think it's wonderful that Martha and Bill have a marriage contract that spells out everything. I wish we had a contract.

Sam Stone: You mean like who takes out the garbage? That kind of everything?

Bill: Every kind of everything. How often, who starts it, everything.

Sam Stone: You mean nookie?

Angela Stone: Sam.

Bill: Sexual responsibilities are covered, yes.

Sam Stone: He means Nookie!

Angela Stone: Oh, Sam, for god's sake.

Sam Stone: Where do I sign? It's gotta be better than my present deal.

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Reverend Spike: Kate, it's so meaningful to me about Harvey's new awareness.

Kate Linville Holroyd: Oh, I know!

Reverend Spike: These flowers symbolize rebirth.

Kate Linville Holroyd: Lovely, Spike. There seem to be two missing.

Reverend Spike: Life is a mound of space.

Kate Linville Holroyd: Oh, yes, yes! That's beautiful, really beautiful, Spike!

Reverend Spike: By the way, does Harvey have the check?

Kate Linville Holroyd: Of course.

Reverend Spike: Beautiful. Beautiful.

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Harvey Holroyd: Friends... and neighbors... it's been a slice.

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Harvey Holroyd: You know Kate, and the way she feels about polluting the atmosphere.

Sam Stone: What has the atmosphere ever done for you?

Harvey Holroyd: Not much lately.

Sam Stone: You know, Angela's on that ecology committee, too. Big deal. Last month they saved the condor. You ever see a condor?

Harvey Holroyd: Not up close.

Sam Stone: Scare the shit out of you!

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Sam Stone: Harvey, will you be good to yourself and use your car? Will you take a look at this? 6,000 pounds of solid comfort. It takes up space, it pollutes the atmosphere, it scares the birds, fuck 'em. I love it!

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Sam Stone: Did you see Carson last night?

Harvey Holroyd: No, I missed it.

Sam Stone: Johnny had this chick on with incredible jugs, and he turned to the audience and says "We'll be right back after a few tits from our sponsor."

Harvey Holroyd: Come on.

Sam Stone: I swear to god. I swear to god! I almost fell out of bed!

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Kate Linville Holroyd: Harvey.

Harvey Holroyd: I came as fast as I could, Kate.

Kate Linville Holroyd: Well, you're a little hard to reach these days. I guess driving your little friend to girl scout meetings takes up a lot of your time.

Harvey Holroyd: Kate, you still get being liberated mixed up with being a bitch.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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