Cheech Marin: Cheech, Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza
Photos
Quotes
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Cheech : Shit, man, I'm gonna be late for work again. That's the fifth time this week, and it's only Tuesday, man.
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Cheech (singing) : Mexican Americans / love education / so they go to night school / and take Spanish / and get a B.
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Cheech : Responsibility is a heavy responsibility!
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Cheech : [seeing a jar with a yellowish fluid inside] Hey, it's about time man. Hey, what do you got man? Give me some.
Chong : What?
Cheech : Give me a drink, man. C'mon man, give me a drink!
Chong : [Points to jar] Of this?
Cheech : Yeah!
Chong : Go ahead man, help yourself!
Cheech : Wait a minute
[Sniffs the Jar]
Cheech : Hey man, that's pee!
Chong : No kidding.
Cheech : What are you doing with pee?
Chong : It's for my probation officer.
Cheech : Why, does he drink pee?
Chong : No man, last week I was supposed to bring some in, you know? and I forgot the wash the jar out first. so they see all that mayonnaise floating around in there, and they think I'm on some kind of weird drug again!
Cheech : [laughing] Alright!
Chong : And I'm really going to fuck with his mind this time.
Cheech : Why, what'd you do?
Chong : I had my sister pee in it.
Cheech : Yeah?
Chong : Yeah, and she's pregnant man!
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Gloria's Mom : [while driving] Watch the road.
Cheech : OK, where's it gonna go.
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Guard at the Studio Entrance. : [to Cheech] Hey, Fella, you need a pass.
Cheech : [Cheech is covered in ashes after the car explosion] Oh, uh... I'm with the Towering Inferno, man.
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Guard at the Studio Entrance. : [to Cheech after leaving in a van] Hey, Fella, your pass?
Cheech : Pass, oh thanks a lot man.
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[after shifting gasoline that has spilt on their clothes, Chong tries to light a joint]
Chong : You got a light, man?
Chong : Huh, oh yeah, here
[hands him a lighter]
Chong : Hey I don't think you better light it in here, man.
Chong : Why?
Cheech : Ah, these gas fumes, man.
Chong : Oh man.
[flicks the lighter]
Cheech : I don't know.
[the inside of the car explodes]
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Cheech : Holy sheep shit! It's guitar heaven!
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Cheech : Man, if you had a second brain, it would die of loneliness, man.
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Cheech : Hey, that's a pretty nice car, man. Better get it back to the circus before they find out it's gone.
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[to a girl on the phone]
Cheech : You wanna come over to my place? Okay. I'll be here with balls on.
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Cheech : Somebody ripped off the thing I ripped off!
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Cheech : Want me to teach you some Spanish, man?
Chong : Okay.
Cheech : When you see a friend, you say, hey, how's it going, pendejo?
Chong : Hey, how's it going, pendecko?
Cheech : ...yeah, that's close enough.
Chong : What does that mean, man?
Cheech : Oh, it means my really good friend.
Chong : How's it going, pend... Pen... how was that, again?
Cheech : Pendejo.
Chong : Pendecko.
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Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza : Cheech! Hey, you old pile of horse shit! How are you? God damn, you got ugly! How ya doing, man?
Chong : Good, man.
Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza : I haven't seen you in ten years, man!
Chong : I'm not Cheech, man.
Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza : What?
Chong : I'm Cheech's friend Chong.
Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza : Oh, hey, Ching! Good to meet you!
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Cheech : [waiting on date to arrive] Man, hurry up, bitch. I got lots of shit to do. Shit. If that bitch doesn't hurry up and get here, I'll have to wait some more.
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Pee-wee Herman : Hey, you guys look a little familiar to me!
Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza : Hey, you smell kinda familiar.
Pee-wee Herman : Ha, ha, ha. I'm the comedian. I'll tell the jokes, if you don't mind! If you think it's so easy, why don't you come up here and do it?
Gloria's Mom : Yeah, go up there and tell a joke!
Pee-wee Herman : That's right! You come up here and do it!
Dwayne 'Red' Mendoza : Okay!
Chong : Yeah, man!
Pee-wee Herman : Fuck this. I'm going somewhere else. Hey, hey, here!
[gives Red the finger and storms off]
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Cheech : [32:13] I hope Donna comes pretty soon. And I hope she hasn't eaten yet because I got something for her: tubesteak smothered in underwear.
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Cheech : I'm gonna be late for work again! That's the fifth time this week and it's only Tuesday, man!
Chong : Why don't you quit that lame job, man?
Cheech : Hey man, I wish I could, man. 'Cept if I quit, that whole place would fall apart without me. I'm needed there, man. Responsibility is a heavy responsibility, man. Hey I got it! Why don't you get a job, man?
[Chong gives him a look]
Cheech : Hey, I'm serious, man! I've had a job for over six weeks now, man!
Chong : Hey listen, man, I already got a job.
Cheech : Yeah, what's your job, man? Rollin' dope?
Chong : Yeah. At least it's steady work, man.
Cheech : Yeah, it's something you're good at, man. Hey, I'm serious, you're supposed to be selling that dope, not smoking it, man! We haven't even paid for it yet.
Chong : I'm selling it.
Cheech : [sarcastically] Yeah, you're selling it, man.
Chong : Hey man, I sold two lids last night. How's that, man?
Cheech : Oh yeah? All right, Holmes! Who'd you sell them to?
Chong : Me.
Cheech : Oh man, shit man! We're gonna starve to death, man!
Chong : No, not with me. I'm a good customer!
Cheech : Oh, man. God dog!
Chong : Hey, no, I did, man. I got a thing. You know what I'm going to do?
Cheech : What?
Chong : I figure it this way: dope's gonna be legal in a few years, okay?
Cheech : Yeah.
Chong : Then...
[awkward pause]
Chong : like, then I'll be... y'know, it'll be a legitimate job. And all these other dudes who aren't ready for it, they won't know how to do it. Then, like, I'll have a job, man. I'll have a job.
Cheech : Yeah, yeah. That's good thinking, man. Shit. If you had another brain, it'd die of loneliness, man.
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Cheech : Donna's coming over, man.
Chong : Who?
Cheech : Donna! Donna! Get outta here, man!
Chong : Who?
Cheech : Donna! You know, from the welfare office, man? With the cha-cha-bingos, man?
Chong : Well, so what?
Cheech : Well she's coming over, so I gotta clean up this place. So can you leave?
Chong : I got nowhere to go!
Cheech : Well, go see a movie or something, man! There's not a biker movie or Gidget's Gaga Gets Gooey or something that's not playing down at the drive-in or something?
