Can't Stop the Music (1980)
Jack Morell: Anyone who could swallow two Snowballs and a Ding Dong shouldn't have any trouble with pride.
Samantha: The '70s are dead and gone. The '80s are going to be something wonderfully new and different, and so am I.
Lulu: Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time company comes.
Norma White: Ron, dear, didn't Greenwich-Village-people-types go out with the '60s?
Samantha: That's it! The name: Village People.
Randy: Well, that's not a bad idea, uh, that's what we are.
Felipe: That's where we're from.
Jack Morell: Village People? That's fantastic! Thank you!
Norma White: Oh, well, it does have a certain charm.
Samantha: Village People; I can sell that.
Samantha: How could you just up and quit your job like that?
Ron White: Why not? I'm the lawyer for the hottest new group in show business: The Village People.
Jack Morell: Ya see, sir, my father is Jewish and my mom, she's Italian Catholic, so, got all the bases covered. Speaking of bases, when the other kids were following the baseball charts I was following the pop charts...
Steve Waits: I think I've heard that before. Why don't you save that for the liner notes on the album.
Jack Morell: Album? Are we getting an album deal?
Steve Waits: No! I did not say that.
Lulu: Oh, the Indian is hot. I go for exotic types, especially when they're half-naked.
Lulu: You tell him I'll make up for all the indignities they suffered in "Roots."
Helen Morell: Oh, Jackie, it's true. There is magic in the world.
Sydney Channing: I adore San Francisco! My favorite ex-husband lives there.
Samantha: Hey, Felipe, how are you feeling?
Felipe: C... C-minus.
Samantha: What's the matter?
Felipe: I had to leave my feathers to be oiled. They gave me this one to wear, and it doesn't even fit right.
Samantha: You think you've got problems? Jack needs some voices on his demo tape for tonight and I need some professional singers who will work for what I can afford to pay.
Felipe: Professional and for free? That you ain't gonna find.
Leatherman: I'm from the Bronx. My name's Glenn Hughes.
Samantha: What do you do, Glenn?
Leatherman: I'm a toll collector at the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel.
Norma White: Do all toll collectors look like that?
Leatherman: Just the hot ones.
Samantha: Are you really serious about singing?
David the Construction Worker: Fanantical. Fame, fortune, platinum records... it's every boy's dream.
Alicia Edwards: Alexander, you're so shy that people just forget. Listen, you've got to come out of your shell or you'll be leading that singing group in Washington Square for the rest of your life and everything else will just pass you by.
Alex the G.I.: That's why I took a job as a stagehand in a local theater.
Alicia Edwards: That's your first strategic career mistake.
Ron White: [angry tone] Hi, I'm Ron White. Your sister sent you a cake. You're not gonna believe this, but a little old lady just robbed me!
Samantha: Could you run that by me again?
Ron White: A little old lady armed with a big gun held me up!
Samantha: No kidding. So, how do you know my sister?
Ron White: I live next door to her in St. Louis. God, she must have been 80 years old!
Samantha: Oh, that's not my sister. She's older than I am, but not that old.
Ron White: I'm talking about the old lady who robbed me! She got my wallet, my watch, my class ring. She even got my Phi Beta Kappa key!
Samantha: Well, it's a good thing she didn't get the cake. I forgot to order dessert.
Ron White: Are you really a policeman?
Ray the Police Officer: You don't know Black Irish when you see it?
Samantha: I should have known that you could sing. But when you see someone every day, you just don't know what they have. I mean, counting out exercise is sort of singing, right?
Randy: Yeah, I think it is. It's sort of like...
Randy: Got the back bone connected to the hip bone, and the hip bone connected to the thigh bone, and the thigh bone connected to the leg bone
Randy: How's that? Is that a star or is that a star?
Samantha: Bing! Tonight it is. Be at my place at 8:00. You bring the voice, and I'll bring the food... and the wine.
Randy: You always were a great hostess, Sam.
Samantha: Don't be fresh.
Samantha: I dropped my contact lens in the lasagna!
[checking her eyes]
Samantha: Was it mustard or relish? It was mustard. Lulu, be a darling, stick your finger in there and see if you can find it.
Lulu: Be original, leave it in. Call it lasagna crunch!
Sydney Channing: [chewing lasagna containing Samantha's missing contact lens] So crunchy!
Benny Murray: [thick New York accent] Nice ta meetcha, Miss Edwards...
Benny Murray: Right. I've seen ya plastered all over New York, ya know?
Samantha: Well, don't spread it around.
Sydney Channing: They must get married in California! They have that marvelous community property there!
Helen Morell: I had no idea this was happening! Something told me, go, be with Jackie tonight, and my God! It's a show business first!
Ron White: Mother! What are you doing here?
Jack Morell: Mother?
Felipe: THAT's your mother?
Samantha: Gee, she looks better than I do.
Helen Morell: I worked with David Merrick... on Broadway. I know about contracts.
Samantha: I didn't invent it. I'm just in it.
Jack Morell: [sing-song] I didn't invent it. I'm just in it. That's a great new theme to a new song!
Lulu: Sam, i'm sorry to bother you. I am making this call under extreme duress. I laugh, I cry, I go on welfare. I am an unmarried, unemployed woman.