The Blues Brothers (1980)
Dan Aykroyd: Elwood
Photos
Quotes
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[repeated line]
Elwood : We're on a mission from God.
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Mrs. Murphy : [1:00:21] May I help you boys?
Elwood : You got any white bread?
Mrs. Murphy : Yes.
Elwood : I'll have some toasted white bread please.
Mrs. Murphy : You want butter or jam on that toast, honey?
Elwood : No ma'am, dry.
[Mrs. Murphy gives him a look, then turns to Jake]
Jake : Got any fried chicken?
Mrs. Murphy : Best damn chicken in the state
Jake : Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke
Mrs. Murphy : You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
Jake : Four fried chickens and a Coke
Elwood : And some dry white toast please
Mrs. Murphy : Y'all want anything to drink with that?
Elwood : No ma'am
Jake : A Coke
Mrs. Murphy : Be up in a minute
Mrs. Murphy : We got two honkies out there dressed like Hasidic diamond merchants
Matt Murphy : Say what?
Mrs. Murphy : They look like they're from the CIA, or somethin'
Matt Murphy : What they want to eat?
Mrs. Murphy : The tall one wants white bread, toasted, dry, with nothin' on it.
Matt Murphy : Elwood
Mrs. Murphy : And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke
Matt Murphy : And Jake. Shit, the Blues Brothers!
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Elwood : We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community that have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We certainly hope you all enjoy the show. And remember, people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there're still some things that makes us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody.
Jake : [singing] Everybody, Needs somebody, Everybody, Needs somebody to love, Someone to love
Elwood : Someone to love
Jake : Sweetheart to miss
Elwood : Sweetheart to miss
Jake : Sugar to kiss
Elwood : Sugar to kiss
Jake : I need you you you, I need
Jake : I need
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Jake : [8:00] What's this?
Elwood : What?
Jake : This car. This stupid car! Where's the Cadillac?
[Elwood doesn't answer]
Jake : The Caddy! Where's the Caddy?
Elwood : The what?
Jake : The Cadillac we used to have. The Bluesmobile!
Elwood : I traded it.
Jake : You traded the Bluesmobile for this?
Elwood : No, for a microphone.
Jake : A microphone?
[pause]
Jake : Okay I can see that. What the hell is this?
Elwood : This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect city police auction last spring. It's an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving 'em away.
Jake : Well thank you, pal. The day I get outta prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car!
Elwood : You don't like it?
Jake : No I don't like it...
Jake : Car's got a lot of pickup
Elwood : It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
Jake : Fix the cigarette lighter
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Jake : [51:28] We're putting the band back together.
Mr. Fabulous : Forget it. No way.
Elwood : We're on a mission from God.
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[while standing at the entrance to the Triple Rock church watching the service with much dancing and Hallelujah choruses, a heavenly light shines down on Jake and he has an epiphany]
Jake : [21:29] The band. The band.
Reverend Cleophus James : Do you see the light?
Jake : The band!
Reverend Cleophus James : Do you see the light?
Elwood : What light?
Reverend Cleophus James : Have you seeeen the light?
Jake : Yes! Yes! Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ! I have seen the light! The band, Elwood! The band!
Elwood : The band? The band. The band? The band!
Reverend Cleophus James : Praise God!
Elwood : And God bless the United States of America!
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[Elwood Blues Jake Blues has a fight over the police car Elwood Blues got after he traded away the original bluesmobile for a microphone]
Elwood : You don't like it?
Jake : No I don't like it...
[Elwood Blues floors the pedal and jumps over an open drawbridge]
Jake : Car's got a lot of pickup.
Elwood : It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
[a brief thinking pause while Jake attempts to light a cigarette]
Jake : Fix the cigarette lighter.
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Jake : [13:42] Forget it! Five grand? No problem, we'll have it for you in the morning. Let's go, Elwood.
Sister Mary Stigmata : No, no! I will not take your filthy stolen money!
Jake : Well then... I guess you're really up Shit Creek.
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with a ruler for using that kind of language]
Sister Mary Stigmata : I beg your pardon, what did you say?
Jake : I offered to help you... You refused to take our money. Then I said: I guess you're really up Shit Creek!
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with the ruler again]
Elwood : Christ, Jake. Take it easy man.
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Blues]
Jake : Oh shit!
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues]
Elwood : Jesus Christ!
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Blues]
Jake : Shit!
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[after a burst of gunfire from the Mystery Woman, Jake climbs to his feet, covered in mud from the tunnel floor]
Jake : It's good to see you, sweetheart.
Mystery Woman : You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.
[Jake falls to his knees]
Jake : Oh, please, don't kill us! Please, please don't kill us! You know I love you baby. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault!
Mystery Woman : You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
Jake : No I didn't. Honest! I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locusts! It wasn't my fault! I swear to God!
[Elwood covers his head in anticipation of more gunfire, Jake removes his sunglasses to make a wordless appeal, and the Mystery Woman visibly softens]
Mystery Woman : Oh, Jake. Jake, honey.
[Jake embraces the Mystery Woman and they kiss]
Jake : [to Elwood] Let's go.
[He drops the Mystery Woman and walks off]
Elwood : [to the Mystery Woman as he steps past her] Take it easy.
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Mrs. Tarantino : [45:22] Are you the police?
Elwood : No, ma'am. We're musicians.
Mrs. Tarantino : Mister Man! Mister Man! Mister Man. They left this card.
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Elwood : [14:28] Ow, you fat penguin!
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Jake : [24:18] We'll put the band back together, do a few gigs, we get some bread. Bang! Five thousand bucks.
Elwood : Yeah, well, getting the band back together might not that be that easy, Jake.
Jake : What are you talking about?
Elwood : They split, they all took straight jobs.
Jake : Yeah, so you know where they are. You said you were gonna keep in touch with them.
Elwood : Well... I got a couple of leads, a few phone numbers, but I mean, how many of them visited or even wrote you, huh?
Jake : They're not the kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, I was inside. You were supposed to keep in touch with the band. I kept asking you if we were gonna play again.
Elwood : Well, what was I gonna do? Take away your only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of bullshitting you, okay?
Jake : You lied to me.
Elwood : It wasn't a lie, it was just bullshit.
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Matt Murphy : [1:01:52] Ah. Don't get riled, sugar.
Mrs. Murphy : Don't you "Don't get riled, sugar" me! You ain't goin' back on the road no more, and you ain't playin' them ol' two-bit sleazy dives. You're livin' with me now, and you not gonna go slidin' around witcho ol' white hoodlum friends.
Matt Murphy : But babes, this is Jake and Elwood, the Blues Brothers!
Mrs. Murphy : The Blues Brothers? Shit! They still owe you money, fool.
Jake : Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we're asking Matt here to do is a holy thing?
Elwood : You see, we're on a mission from God.
Mrs. Murphy : Don't you blaspheme in here. Don't you blaspheme in here! This is my man, this is my restaurant, and you two are just gonna walk right out that door without your dry white toast, without your four fried chickens, and without Matt "Guitar" Murphy!
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Elwood : [Police have surrounded the Blues Brothers concert] ... And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community that have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time...
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Elwood : [1:44:58] This is glue. Strong stuff.
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Elwood : Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now.
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Jake : Book us for tomorrow night.
Maury Sline : Hold it, hold it. Tomorrow night? What are you talking about? A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.
Elwood : I know all about that stuff. I have been exploited all my life.
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[Carrie flame throws a propane tank next to a phone booth they are in - it blows sky high and crashes down to earth - the phone breaking in half]
Elwood : Hey, Jake. Gotta be at least seven dollars worth of change here.
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Jake : [about the electric piano] $2,000 for this chunk of shit? C'mon, Ray.
Murph : [tests the piano] I mean really, Ray, it's used. There's no action left in this keyboard.
Ray : [smiles, comes out to the piano] E-excuse me, uh, I don't think there's anything wrong with the action on this piano.
[plays and sings]
Ray : Well, I heard about the fellow you've been dancin' with, All over the neighborhood, So why didn't you ask me baby? Didn't you think I could? Well I know that the boogaloo is outta sight, But the shingaling's the thing tonight, But if that was you and me a now baby, I would have shown you how to do it right, Do it right
Ray : Do it right
Jake : Do it right
Elwood : Do it right
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Mrs. Tarantino : [45:23] Are you the police?
Elwood : No ma'am. We're musicians.
Mrs. Tarantino : Mister Man! Mister Man! Mister Man. They left this card.
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Elwood : [16:18] The light was yellow, sir.
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[the brothers race around the mall parking lot]
Elwood : [28:38] We'll be all right if we can just get back on the expressway.
Jake : This don't look like no expressway to me!
Elwood : Don't yell at me.
Jake : Well what the hell you want me to do, Motorhead?
Elwood : Try not to be so negative all the time. Why don't you offer a little... constructive criticism?
Jake : You got us into to this parking lot, pal. Now you get us out!
Elwood : You want outta this parking lot?... O.K.
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Elwood : [14:35] Fuck this noise, man!
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[Camille has fired a machine gun at Jake and Elwood]
Elwood : Who *is* that girl?
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Elwood : Hey, Jake. Jake. I gotta pull over.
[he drives the Bluesmobile off the road, right through a guardrail]
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Elwood : You want I should wash the dead bugs off the windshield?
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Elwood : [after crashing the Bluesmobile in a car dealership] The new Oldsmobiles are in early this year!
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Elwood : [during "Everybody Needs Somebody to Love"] People, when you do find that special somebody, you gotta hold that man, hold that woman! Love him, please him, squeeze her, please her! Signify your feelings with every gentle caress, because it's so important to have that special somebody to hold, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze, and please!
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Elwood : Tonight only, the fabulous Blues Brothers. Rhythm and Blues review. The Palace Hotel Ballroom. Route 16. Lake Wazzapamani. The fabulous Blues Brothers show band and review.
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[last lines]
Cook County Assessor's Office Clerk : Can I help you?
[the brothers back him up and lift him onto the counter]
Jake : This is where they pay the taxes, right?
Cook County Assessor's Office Clerk : Right.
Elwood : This money is for the year's assessment of Saint Helen of the Blessed Shroud Orphanage in Calumet City, Illinois.
Jake : 5,000 bucks, it's all there pal.
Cook County Assessor's Office Clerk : And here is your receipt.
Jake : [singing] The warden threw a party in the county jail, The prison band was there and they began to wail, The band was jumpin' and the joint began to swing, You should've heard those knocked out jailbirds sing, Let's rock, Everybody, let's rock, Everybody in the whole cell block, Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock...
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Elwood : You on the motorcycle... You two girls... tell your friends.
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Elwood : Our blessed Lady of Acceleration, don't fail me now.
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Elwood's Boss : [deleted scene] Hello Elwood, sit down. What's on your mind?
Elwood : I gotta quit.
Elwood's Boss : Why is that, Elwood?
Elwood : I'm... I'm going to become a priest.
Elwood's Boss : Well okay! Listen I'll call payroll and have them get your severance pay ready.
[they rise and shake hands]
Elwood : God bless you, sir.
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Elwood : I gotta hit the sack.
[He sees that Jake has fallen asleep on his bed]
Elwood : Hey, you sleaze. My bed!
[Elwood pauses for a second, then retrieves the liquor bottle and sets it beside the hot plate. He spreads a blanket over his brother. Elwood sits in the window sill, Louis Jordan's "Let the Good Times Roll" plays on the record player, the 'L' rolls by outside]
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Elwood : [the Mystery Woman sprays the tunnel with gunfire as Jake and Elwood dive for the ground] Who *is* that girl?
Mystery Woman : Well Jake, you look just fine down there, slithering in the mud like vermin.
Jake : [makes a reassuring gesture to Elwood] No problem.
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Elwood : Don't worry, they won't catch us -- we're on a mission from God.
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Elwood : [1:14:10] Hey Jake. There's gotta be at least $7 worth of change here.
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Matt Murphy : How was Joliet?
Jake : Oh, it was bad. On Thursday night they serve a wicked pepper steak.
Matt Murphy : Can't be as bad as the cabbage roll at the Terra Haute Federal Pen.
Elwood : Or that oatmeal at the Cook County slammer.
Matt Murphy : Oh, they're all pretty bad.
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Jake , Elwood : [singing] Hey, we gonna loop de loop
Ray : Shake it out baby
Jake , Elwood : Hey we gonna loop de la
Jake : Bend over, let me see ya shake your tailfeather
Jake , Elwood : Bend over, let me see ya shake your tailfeather
Jake , Elwood , Ray : Come on, let me see ya shake your tailfeather, Come on, let me see ya shake your tailfeather, Aaah!
Ray : Come on, come on baby, Come on, yeah, come on babe, Alright! Do the twist, Do the fly, Oh, do the swim, And do the bird, Well, do the duck, Aaah, And do the monkey, Hey, hey, watusi, And a-what about the food? Do the mashed potato, What about the boogaloo? Oh, the bony marony, Come on, let's do the twist, Aaah, Twistin', Shake it, shake it, shake it, baby...
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Jake : I would like to do a favorite of the horn section. We hope it's one of yours.
Jake , Elwood , Donald 'Duck' Dunn , 'Bones' Malone , Mr. Fabulous , 'Blue Lou' Marini : [singing] Sometimes it's hard to be a woman, Giving all your love to just one man, And if you love him, Oh, be proud of him, Cause, after all, he's just a man...
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Elwood : Rawhide in eight.
[singing]
Elwood : Rollin', rollin', rollin', Though the streams are swollen, Keep them doggies rollin', Rawhide, Through rain and wind and weather, Hell-bent for leather, Wishin' my gal was by my side, All the things I'm missin', Good vittles, love and kissin', Are waiting at the end of my ride. Move 'em on
Jake : Head 'em up!
Elwood : Head 'em up
Jake : Move 'em on!
Elwood : Move 'em on
Jake : Head 'em up!
Elwood : Rawhide, Cut 'em out
Jake : Ride 'em in!
Elwood : Ride 'em in
Jake : Cut 'em out!
Elwood : Cut 'em out, Ride 'em in, Rawhide...
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Curtis : Boys, things are bad. They gonna sell this place to the Board of Education and I'll be out on the street. That money's got to be in the Cook County Assessors Office within 11 days.
Jake : They wouldn't turn you out, would they?
Curtis : Shit, what's one more old nigga to the Board of Education?
Elwood : Curtis, you and the Penguin are the only family we got. And you're the only one that was ever good to us - singin' Elmore James tunes, blowin' the harp for us down here.
