Magnum, P.I. (1980–1988)
Mac: Time has little to do with infinity and jelly donuts
Margo Perina: [Magnum is trying to tell one women why another is in his room] It would take a 1930's movie to explain this and I bear no resemblence to Myrna Loy.
Thomas Sullivan Magnum III: [voiceover] Hawaii is one of those places that keeps topping itself - just when you think you'll never see a sunset as beautiful, there comes a sunrise that even Gauguin can only imagine. It kind of makes unemployment easier to take.
Jonathan Quayle Higgins III: Magnum...
[Higgins watches Magnum sunbathing]
Jonathan Quayle Higgins III: Oh, Magnum.
Thomas Sullivan Magnum III: Hi, Higgins, Di.
Jonathan Quayle Higgins III: I have a proposition for you, Magnum.
Thomas Sullivan Magnum III: Now wait a minute, just wait a second, Higgins. Now this is really getting depressing, this constant deal making - I'll give you this if you give me that, it's so unnecessary. Now here we are in paradise, we have everything we could ever possibly want out of life just here. So why, why can't we just do things for one another simply because we want to, simply because we're friends, simply because we feel like helping each other?
Jonathan Quayle Higgins III: Magnum, I want you to know I'm quite touched, I never thought you were capable of those admirable sentiments, I really mean that.
Thomas Sullivan Magnum III: Thank you.
Jonathan Quayle Higgins III: I came here this morning to, just as you so aptly describe it, make a deal. You see the lads have been under the weather and I need to pick up some paperwork from the club. I was going to ask you to fetch it for me and in return I was going to give you the use of the tennis court for one week. Now I'm just asking you as a friend.
Thomas Sullivan Magnum III: Make it two weeks.
Jonathan Quayle Higgins III: I did it because you have more dumb luck than anyone I know.
Thomas Sullivan Magnum III: One of the cliches of my profession is that to get information from a bartender you have to slip him bills of various denominations. Bills that you can't afford with pictures of unfamiliar presidents and usually for information that isn't worth it.
Jonathan Quayle Higgins III: [angrily] Oh, my God!
[Higgins and Magnum find out Central Grocers is a front for laundering money]
Jonathan Quayle Higgins III: Well, I doubt you'll still find the money in your local accommodating bank. The funds have probably been transferred to a tax haven country. I'm quite familiar with this type of laundering scheme from my days in MI6. I remember one most intriguing case...
Thomas Sullivan Magnum III: [interrupting] Do you have the number of the Central Grocers?
Thomas Sullivan Magnum III: [voiceover] I know what you're thinking. Forcing the issue with Blaylock was kind of like cramming for finals the night before. But you can't be a student forever. Sooner or later, you have to graduate.
[Rick is trying to pay Higgins]
Orville 'Rick' Wright: Here, for your inconvenience.
Jonathan Quayle Higgins III: [refusing it] I don't accept tips.
Theodore 'TC' Calvin: I'll bet you don't give 'em either.
Thomas Sullivan Magnum III: If basketball was all there was to life, you'd be set.