Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
Kirk Douglas | ... | Cactus Jack | |
Ann-Margret | ... | Charming Jones | |
Arnold Schwarzenegger | ... | Handsome Stranger | |
Paul Lynde | ... | Nervous Elk | |
Foster Brooks | ... | Bank Clerk | |
Ruth Buzzi | ... | Damsel in Distress | |
Jack Elam | ... | Avery Simpson | |
Strother Martin | ... | Parody Jones | |
Robert Tessier | ... | Mashing Finger | |
Mel Tillis | ... | Telegraph Agent | |
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Laura Lizer Sommers | ... | Working Girl |
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Ray Bickel | ... | Man |
Jan Eddy | ... | Sheriff | |
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Mel Todd | ... | Conductor |
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Jim Anderson | ... | Bartender |
"Cactus" Jack Slade (Kirk Douglas) is the meanest bad man in the west, or so he thinks. When a bank robbery goes awry, he lands in jail facing a hangman's noose. When the corrupt owner of the bank offers him a job, Jack sees a chance to stay alive and get rich in the process. All he has to do is steal a strongbox full of money the banker lent to Mr. Parody Jones (Strother Martin) who needs it to keep his mining operation going. If he defaults on the loan, our "friendly" banker takes over the mine. Ms. Charming Jones (Ann-Margret) comes to town to collect the money and take it back to her father, Parody. To ensure the money makes it back home, Parody has called in a favor from a man who owes him a life debt. Enter Handsome Stranger (Arnold Schwarzenegger). The toughest and strongest hero in the west. As tough as a steel plate but, unfortunately, just as dense. As Charming and Handsome set off on their journey, Jack sets out after them. Using his trusty "Bad Men Of The West" handbook, ... Written by gorn9146
Almost like a Roadrunner cartoon, but live action. Pretty much all the clichés you can think of, including names such as "Handsome Stranger" for the handsome stranger played by Ah-nold, and "Charming" for the beautiful heroine.
Frankly, IMHO, Kirk Douglas's horse was the star of the movie. While watching it with friends I said, "I love that horse." I think that animal should have won an Academy Award. (I think there is a "Patsy" award for animals, actually)
Probably best to see this one with friends. Probably pretty boring to see it alone, but where friends can feed upon each other it is wonderful.
None of Kirk Douglas's implements did come from the ACME company, though :-)