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Hilarious Italian sci fi insanity!
raegan_butcher27 August 2006
This movie is completely insane. The plot makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, which is pretty much par for the course with Italian knock-offs like this. The special effects are colorful and eye-popping, the sets designed by some wonderful nut with an eye for that crazy psychedelic-art-deco-cocaine-disco-Flash-Gordon look that Italians do so well. The actors are completely at a loss as to how to act/react to the film they are in and... I loved it.

What else can one say about a film where the best performance is delivered by....David Hasselhoff. Scary but true. Not even the usually mesmerizing Marjo Gortner can do anything with the logic-defying lines of dialog he is forced to utter. After 10 minutes I was laughing so hard I knew I'd found something unique.

I rarely venture down the road of "so cheesy it is good" movies but STARCRASH is mind-boggling in its cheesiness. Characters can tell the future but won't let anyone in on what is going to happen because "You would have attempted to change the future...which is against the law." A depressed and hung-over-looking Christopher Plummer states at one point, "I wouldn't be the Emerperor of the Universe if I didn't have a few talents. Now, Imperial Spaceship--halt the flow of time!" (not bad, eh?)

Joe Spinell, dressed like a dime-store Satan and dubbed by a man who sounds dangerously constipated, declares at one point, "By sundown I will be the most powerful man in the universe!" And you sit there and think, Sundown? You're in outer space, dude!There are many such hilarious lines.

I could go on and on: There are jerky stop-motion monsters, psychedelic blobs of light that attack people for no explainable reason,Robert Tessier painted green, a robot who begins the film speaking normally and then about 15 minutes in starts talking in a southern accent,Christmas tree lights masquerading as stars, a weapon called The Doom Machine and a central non-performance from the ravishingly lovely but blank Caroline Munro, she of the stilted delivery and mis-matched eye-lines. But, my lord, she rocks a series of outfits that would make Barbarella envious. Gorgeous woman.

So, if you are looking for a rousing sci fi adventure with narrative coherence, decent special effects,and good acting, watch Star Wars; but if you're in the mood for an incomprehensible but colorful mish-mash of Ray Harryhausen movies, old Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers serials, Doc Savage, Perry Rhodan, and just about everything else up to and including the kitchen sink, watch STARCRASH. You certainly won't forget it soon. Did I mention the leaping cavemen?...
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If only George Lucas had Luigi Cozzi on board for those prequels
Bezenby9 June 2014
Who knew that space was so colourful! If you like picking films apart you'll be working on Starcrash for several years, but if you're all up for non-stop action, stop motion robots, The Hoff, skimpy outfits, bizarre spaceships and people painted green, this is the film for you! The rolling blurb at the start was in French so: can't help you there. Anyway, in the future, the Emperor's son goes missing when his ship is entering the Haunted Star system (it gets attacked by flashing lights and a lava lamp). Meanwhile Stella Star (Caroline Munro from Flesh for the Beast and Don't Open till Christmas) and her psychic buddy Akton (Marjoe Gunter from Mausoleum – and you should see what happens to him in that film!), are being chased through space by a green guy and Police Robot Elle for smuggling and after some confusing hyperspace action, get caught.

After being sentenced by a giant brain with animated tentacles surrounded by lava lamps (you heard me), Stella is sent to a prison planet and Akton is sent to…a different prison planet. In the end the Green guy and Elle (with his great Texan accent) rescue them for a special mission: To find The Hoff! The Emperor (Christopher Plummer) explains that evil Zarth Arn (played by Joe Spinell of The Last Horror Film) is hiding in the Haunted system and attacked The Hoff's ship. Three lifeboats were jettisoned, so there's about four places the Hoff could be – a waterworld, a cold world, and some other places.

Enough about the plot. I loved this film. It's got giant animated statues, animated robots with swords (fighting The Hoff!). Joe Spinell's ship is shaped like a giant hand, Caroline Munro wears a skimpy outfit that must have had young boys turning to their parents and asking "Where do babies come from?",the music is great, and at one point they take on what looked to me to be a whole army of tramps.

Directed by Luigi Cozzi with utter contempt for the laws of physics but a healthy dose of imagination, Starcrash is a winner all the way thanks to the lack of dull spots and its high camp value. Cozzi went on to direct the great Contamination and is now manager of Dario Argento's shop Profondo Rosso, which I visited in 2011…

…I wish I had a great anecdote to go with that statement, but he wasn't there. My wife and kids were nearly run over by a guy on a motorbike who was driving on the pavement, however. Good old Rome and it's crazy, dangerous traffic.
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Good fun
rundbauchdodo1 September 2000
This cheap "Star Wars" ripoff presents some of the worst and most ridiculous special effects ever made. It also delivers dumb dialogue that will make you laugh yourself into the next dimension. And, above all, the cast includes Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro (wearing a bikini on every planet), David Hasselhoff, Christopher Plummer and the great late Joe Spinell. Everybody is outrageously overacting (except for Plummer, who is outrageously underacting). But the movie never becomes boring, there is always happening something more or less stupid, so you'll always be entertained. "Starcrash" is a real party tape that can be enjoyed best with mates and enough beer, chips and popcorn. Don't miss this utterly cheesy movie: It's so dumb that you have to love it!
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"Awfully" Good
shark-4330 November 2003
It's awful all right - in a hilarious way! This movie is awful in almost every category - special effects, sound, costumes, set, acting and the script - but if you like good cheese, if you can embrace the spirit of Ed Wood and others like him, then you'll LOVE this campy sci-fi disaster. Marjoe Gortner gives one of the truly worst performances I have evr seen - he either is phoning it in or over-acting like crazy - I swear, watch in the beginning - he almost doesnt blink for over ten minutes. Creepy. And for all of those who saw this movie as young lads - I can see why Ms. Munro wouldmake such an impression on you. Woo-wee!! That is some hot leather space bikini they have her in. She was gorgeous and all but my god, some of the "fight" scenes she's in are unintentionally hilarious. Good silly fun!!!
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Some Kind of a Masterpiece
Squonkamatic25 April 2006
Take Caroline Munro. Put her in a leather space bikini with matching boots, give her a ridiculous looking laser gun, have someone get some oil on her chest and we are talking entertainment. Now, add a plot that is reminiscent of Star Wars, right down to having android or helmeted characters who's faces we never see, inject some heroics and derring-do, paste on a very cinematic sounding musical score by James Bond alumnus John Barry and presto! you have a movie.

It all starts with Ms. Munro and that leather bikini though, make no mistake about it. This movie is a stupid, kitschy, clunky, dated, addle-brained and witless Star Wars ripoff that might be one of the best science fiction movies ever made. All that is required for anyone to appreciate it is a familiarity with science fiction, an appreciation for female breasts and a sense of humor. If you can't manage to scrape that up skip this one and maybe rent a documentary on Stalingrad. If you can, seek it out immediately. This is what those Alfonse Brescia movies were like, except it's story actually makes sense.

Some folks would refer to this as a "camp classic": NO. Camp is done as a parody or for laughs, like Monty Python having the Royal Scotts Guard do a Burt Bacharach production number. This is KITSCH, like Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody", a Kit Kat clock and those salt shakers made to look like Tiki Torches. Or a ceramic plate featuring designs with corn cobs, meant to only be used when you eat corn on the cob. Kitsch can certainly have a sense of humor about itself but it has to be played straight, like "WKRP In Cincinatti" -- if you play it for laughs then you are making "Mork and Mindy".

I will leave it to others to describe the plot. STAR CRASH is about the whole idea of merging a Star Wars type adventure with genre film elements that border on exploitation, and thankfully they found a willing participant in Ms. Munro, who's presence is the real reason to bother seeking this out. The klutzy 80's science fiction design is also a marvel to behold & there isn't a dull moment to be had. I agree with the other comments who pointed out that this movie has fifteen times the imagination, soul and humanity of the three most recent Star Wars films put together. Some touches of inappropriately graphic violence and risqué content only add to the forbidden fruit factor that this movie has going for it: Without any redeeming social consciousness factors it is essentially an extended guilty pleasure piece, and what with the world coming to an end & all, heck I don't see anything wrong with that. We need more fun in the world and if nothing else, STAR CRASH is *FUN*.

Some of the special effects are actually quite impressive (especially if you can find the widescreen version shown on a French DVD release which does have the uncensored 93m. English print), or at least are evocative of the Ray Harryhousen adventures that this movie seems to be patterned after. I admire the film's reckless energy, it's devotion to wanting to see if they could make it taking priority over whether or not what they ended up with might look stupid. Try this on a double bill with Aldo Lada's equally outrageous THE HUMANOID with Richard "Jaws" Keil. You may laugh yourself into fits but you certainly won't be bored, and fetishists will have a field day taking screenshots of Ms. Monroe's various camera angles for their own private digital slide show to enjoy without the bother of even watching the film. Like a Spaghetti Western this is a collection of moments. The majority of them pay off and in the end STAR CRASH emerges as a superior example of Italian Spaghetti Sci Fi as well as a relic of a bygone era that will hopefully never be revisited.

9/10: Another movie that should be loaded onto a space probe and fired in the direction of a nearby solar cluster to show other possible worlds the best & worst of what humanity had to offer. And that our women are hotter than their women.
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I had a Seizure watching this film!
sitdownbike20 December 2002
Well, almost...

When I first saw this film, back in 1979, my wife & I were 2 of 5 people in the theater at 7:00 on a Friday night. We were about to walk out when Carolyn Munro was sentenced to mine Radium in a bikini for the rest of her natural life. At that point, there was no way to get me out of there.

The remarkable thing about this movie is that every time you think "that is the most ridiculous plot device ever..." something else comes along that blows your socks off. About mid way thru I could not quit laughing. For instance, our heroine sets a ship on collision course with the Evil Count's space fortress. To save herself, at the last second before the catacylismic collision, SHE JUMPS OUT OF THE WINDOW! And then does the BREAST STROKE! through OUTER SPACE! Oh My God! I can't stop laughing!

Bottom Line, this movie is WAY funnier than many that TRY to be funny (Spaceballs, Ice Pirates, etc.)
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Great stuff
Antagonisten24 October 2006
When it comes to bad movies there are a few different brands of crap that are being served. Mainly it's crap that is funny or crap that is just sad. While "Aeon Flux" for instance is just sad, a movie like "Starcrash" is actually funny.

After the huge success of "Star Wars" it's no real mystery why movies like this one were made. We have the same syndrome now with all the movies made based on comics. While many of them are worthwhile, like for instance X-men and Spiderman, many will also be crap made just to bring in the quick buck (back to Aeon Flux for instance). "Starcrash" is definitely the attempt to bring in the quick buck by riding on the back of "Star Wars". And the fact that "Starcrash" didn't have a big buck to spend is very apparent. This movie has some of the most appalling special effects i have ever seen. They are just terrific in their awfulness! Everything animated looks jerky and stiff, most special effects just look painted on in the style of the phasers in the original "Star Trek". And let me tell you, you haven't truly lived until you've seen a young David Hasselhoff in a light-saber vs. steel sword duel with a dramatically fake robot! Besides the obviously lame special effects there are tons of things to love in this movie. Like the ridiculous outfits and make-up and the plastic-looking props. The real prize-winner though is the acting. It's somewhere between horrible and suicidally horrible. Everyone delivers their lines like it's Shakespeare on acid and the dialog seems to be written by someone with epic ambitions. It's epic comedy at least.

To end this rambling review i just want to say that this movie is a must-see. Perhaps while intoxicated. I think anyone with the tiniest love for b-movies will enjoy this immensely, this is just one of those rare movies that is just so bad it's almost perfect. Great stuff!
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If you don't like STARCRASH, I don't want to know ya
Maciste_Brother22 October 2003
When I was a teen, I saw STARCRASH in a double feature with INFRAMAN. My life hasn't been the same since. The theatre was filled with impressionable kids. After laughing nonstop during INFRAMAN, my friend and I were so giddy that we decided to add-lib some dialogue during STARCRASH. The whole audience was in hysterics. All the kids sat around us and laughed out loud to the diaolgue we said out loud. It was one of the funnest moments at the movies I've ever experienced. Even the ushers were laughing. Mind you, we weren't making fun of the movie but having fun with it. So, if you do not like STARCRASH, then you can't be a friend of mine. STARCRASH is dear to my heart because of that afternoon watching that wonky double feature.

I've watched STARCRASH since and it's still great fun even if there are some dead moments here and there. Anyway, what can you say about a technicolor pseudo rip-off of STAR WARS starring Caroline Munro? The ending in STARCRASH was even ripped off in STAR TREK NEMESIS. Not bad for a cheesy Italian sci-fi flick. And the score by John Barry (yes, THE John Barry) is pretty good (sounded a lot like OUT OF AFRICA). All in all, STARCRASH epitomizes everything about the word "B-Movie."
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Watch it for Caroline
robin-41426 January 2006
When I saw stills of this movie back in 1979, I thought someone had finally made a film just for me. It had spaceships, and robots and something that Star Wars didn't have: Caroline Munro. I waited in vain for its appearance at the cinema. It turned up on TV one afternoon in the beginning of 1985. Well, it was nearly the film I had been waiting for. Overall, it's got everything a b-movie addict can want: ambitious, but not always successful visual effects, at least one Shakespearian actor forced to recite comic strip dialogue, plenty of continuity errors, and a number of very attractive young women, principally, the said Miss Munro, as Stella Star.

It was a shock to find that the very English tones of Caroline had been dubbed by an American voice artist, but that's the movie business. The French speaking version(even for non-French speakers, such as myself) is preferable. Stella's voice is light and playful, and the robot, instead of the 'amusing' cowboy voice in the English language version, talks in mournful, echoey tones, which, for me, works very well.

Caroline Munro, although playing the central character, gets rather sidelined throughout the proceedings; however, she has two scenes in the first part of the story in which the action revolves around her, and if these are the best parts of the whole movie. Her skirmish with a tribe of amazons makes for a very exciting sequence. Inexplicably, but stunningly clad in a shiny black bikini, and thigh length boots, she dominates this sequence. It's a shame that an important section of it, in which the amazons attach her to a mind-probe device, was deleted because of film exposure problems. The film does, unfortunately, contain several instances where a prop or effect has been abandoned at the last minute, and a build-up is all for nothing.

Seek out one of the early drafts on the script (tucked away on the DVD set, if you dig deep enough), to get some idea of what might have been, had not the production been plagued with misfortune.

There are several ways to enjoy this movie. Pick out the bits you like, and ignore the rest; look on it as a latter-day Flash Gordon Serial-style entertainment (it does rattle along at breakneck speed when it gets going), and forget all about logic, and literacy, and the rules of storytelling; or just shut your eyes and listen to John Barry's fabulous orchestral score.

I like Starcrash for two reasons. Caroline Munro is one of them. The other is the fact that Luigi Cozzi wanted to make the movie he'd always wanted to see. He'd written the script before Star Wars came out, and it was only pressure from the studio that forced him to imitate elements of that film. Conversely, it was budget restraints and studio disputes that hampered his efforts.

At the beginning of this review, I made what may seem like a disparaging remark about the visual effects. In a day when we're used to spectacular CGI extravaganzas produced by hundreds of artists and technicians, and costing millions, it's well to consider that most of the effects on this movie were created by one guy with little time, few facilities and a comparitively tiny budget. It's easy to guffaw at the occasional stray shadow on a sky background, but I think what Armando Valcauda achieved, under the circumstances, was, to quote Stella, 'incredible'.

Ultimately, one of the most appealing shots of Caroline Munro as Stella Star is near the end, when Stella Star is swimming through space, and we get a close-up of her very beautiful smile through the visor of her helmet. It kind of makes you feel better, just looking at her.
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Here is probably the only good review of STARCRASH
LJ272 April 2000
I've never seen a good review of this movie anywhere. Let me be the first to write one. Here's why I feel STARCRASH is good; they did the very best they could with what they were given to work with. I saw this film at age 13, knowing full well it was a low-budget STAR WARS rip-off. It cost about one million dollars (compared to the $10 million spent on SW). It had an effects budget of about $30,000, compared to the $3 million spent on effects alone for SW. The effects were done by then 32 year old Armando Valcauda, who had never done effects for a motion picture before. Valcauda got fed up with the producers of STARCRASH and walked out and was replaced by Germani Natali, hence no credit for Valcauda. Before he left, he animated the stop-motion skeleton robots dueling against Marjoe Gortner and David Hasselhoff, another stop-motion giant robot and several miniature shots. He was later hired to do effects on THE HUMANOID (1980), which American International Pictures declined to distribute in the U.S. Although Valcauda did his best with the tiny budget and 3 month schedule, he has slipped into obscurity, which is a shame. I was entertained by this movie. It wasn't realistic but it was just plain fun. I loved every minute of it, unlike LOST IN SPACE (1998) which cost 100 times more than this, has even less convincing effects in a lot of scenes and was about as much fun as standing in line at the post office. STARCRASH is a stinker to most people because there wasn't a sufficient budget. Yet, it's still fun to watch 20 years after it was made. LOST IN SPACE on the otherhand, had all the money, technology and resources they could possibly want at their disposal and they still turned out one of the most unwatchable films ever. Wherever you are Armando Valcauda, I salute you.
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One of my favorites!
BandSAboutMovies14 December 2017
Starcrash holds fond memories for me, because I saw it on a double bill with tomorrow's film, Battle Beyond the Stars, at the Spotlite 88 Drive-In Theater. I vividly remember my dad laughing through most of the movie, but really liking the part where the rockets were fired into the Count's ship and men jumped out of them. For the next several months, I thought more about these two films than Star Wars - we still had another year to go before The Empire Strikes Back as this was in the days before constant Star Wars-related media.
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Hot babes, awful script, lowball FX = great cheese!
telepinus152511 December 2002
When "Star Crash" appeared in the U.S., my local newspaper's film critic noted: "...You have to be suspicious of a movie that literally sneaks into town...". That remark left me curious, but not curious enough; after just one week "Star Crash" had left town as quietly as it had come in. Why would any movie get so little push from its' distributor, I wondered? Could it really be that bad? It took me years to find out. Some dozen or so years later, a friend of mine told me he had a copy...well, I couldn't pass this up. After seeing it, I decided that the critics were right--and wrong. Such a hoot! Caroline Munro definitely set the mood in her almost-not-there "space-kini" and high-heeled boots, with Marjoe Gortner pulling backup as 2nd banana. Cheesy special FX, a painfully earnest performance by Christopher Plummer (you can practically see him wondering if his paycheck will clear the bank when he's finished), and a surprisingly good score ( hey, it's John Barry, what did you expect?)make this a pleasant surprise, as long as you're not expecting anything on par with E.E. "Doc" Smith, etc. A small note: I got to meet Ms. Munro at an SF convention back in '82, and I totally agree with Harlan Ellison...she was so gorgeous in person that "they had to ugly her down, so that the cameras wouldn't melt during filming!"....Though I forgot to ask her if it was true that only copy of the shooting script had been stolen by members of Italy's Red Brigade terrorists and held for ransom! Ah, rumors...anyway, try and catch it for free and you won't feel cheated.
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How did they get a real actor like Christopher Plummer to appear in this crap?!
planktonrules23 December 2015
I'm in a particularly masochistic mood tonight and I've been watching some ultra schlocky sci-fi films which came out in the late 70s and early 80s. "Starcrash" is not the worst of the films I've been watching...though by any objective standard, it's total crap.

This Italian-made film was dubbed into English and stars some familiar faces--such as the beautiful Caroline Munro (a bond girl and star of other 70s schlock), Marjoe Gortner (who had a career rebirth in the 70s in made for TV movies), David Hasselhoff (before he was famous) and, inexplicably, Christopher Plummer--the only genuinely GOOD actor in this mess of a film! My guess is that the filmmakers were holding one of Plummer's family members hostage to get him to appear in this crap-fest!

The film begins in outer space--and perhaps the ugliest and worst rendered version of outer space in any 1970s film. The colors are garish and might just provoke seizures in some viewers, so be careful! The story is about a couple idiotic space smugglers (Munro and Gortner) who are sent to prison but then offered a reprieve if they help the Emperor (Plummer) to locate his missing son and stop an intergalactic baddie, the Count. It's all VERY boring, the effects are god-awful and there isn't much to interest any viewer aside from Munro and a few other lovely and scantily-clad ladies. Amazingly dumb and really, really bad.
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What the...? Who? What just happened then? Eh?
axeman-923 October 2004
I thought I had seen the worst space movie made in recent years when I saw Space Mutiny, how innocent it all seems looking back after just watching Starcrash. This has to be the worst acted, worst written, most poorly edited movie I have seen in years. The special effects deserve a mention, because they aren't. It's amazing to me that this piece of fetid crud came out 2 years after Star Wars had shifted the goalposts.

The best thing about the models is sitting spotting which bits came from where, they're made with sprues from model kits with all the parts still attached so nerds can see bits of Space 1999 eagles, the Nostromo, Saturn V rockets, aircraft wheels, etc. Dire! The space battles between lumpy bits of model kits are so poorly made and edited that it's impossible to follow what's going on. Certainly the actors and director couldn't, I lost count of the continuity errors during those sequences.

As for the actors and acting, Caroline Munro and Marjoe Gortner pull some damn funny faces, and frankly I could watch Caroline mince around in her various space bikinis all day, but she will keep trying to act. Disaster! I wonder if Christopher Plummer even lists this one on his resume, but you can bet David Hasselhoff has it near the top of his. I hate to say it, but apart from Caroline Munros legs he's the best thing in the film. Now that's a bad movie.

I honestly don't know how they made this, they obviously watched Star Wars because they blatantly rip it off for most of their plot, designs, names and so forth, but never noticed that that movie had real actors, good writing and amazing effects. Darth Zarn... sorry, Zarth Arn the bad guy makes Ming the Merciless look like a taut, underplayed role, and the whole major fight sequence where men in torpedoes are shot through the windows of his space ship to fight his minions is incredible. Never mind calling soldiers, you want a good glazier to stop the air blasting out, surely?

I give in, this movie sucked far harder than any vacuum I have ever seen. It's a cheapo rip-off of Star Wars mixed with Barbarella and if it wasn't for a babe in the title role no one would watch more than a few minutes of this dross. A new low, really low. Funny, but low.
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I know, it´s strange, but this is one of the movies of my life ! (!!!)
Alcaminhante12 September 1999
Sometimes i think i like this even more than i like Star Wars.

First it´s got a great soundtrack by John Barry. In fact this soundtrack is so good that he even riped-off from himself, and we can hear a slight diferent version in OUT OF AFRICA, but not much diferent as it is instantly recognizable as the music from STARCRASH, from everyone who loves this italian mega-low budget space opera thing.

Anyway, STARCRASH has something very special to me that i still can´t figure it out to this day.

Even with its cardboard sets, spaceship models ridiculous costumes and clothes, ultra bad dialogue and crapy special effects which in fact are not even effects,much less special, STARCRASH is still one of my all time favorites space movies.

Idiotic villains, half naked space babes, a robbot named HAL with the personality of C-3PO (!!!?), light sabres duels and lots space battles, this movie has it all !

It even has a giant battlestation, with glass windows, vitral style, which are shattered by the good guys when they invade the station inside missile capsules who break all the windows in the final battle. And even with the glass broken nothing happens, no decompression, no air being sucked out into space, nothing ! It´s hilarious. Classic moment in Bad movies no doubt.

Man! Even DAVID HASSELHOF is in this ! A long, long time ago in a galaxy very far away from BAYWATCH. Altough the character of STELLA STAR has everything to be in Baywatch.

I recomend this movie to everybody, who loves Bad movies and particulary if you love science fiction. This is more fun than Star Wars ! :-)

What´s great about STARCRASH is that it doesn´t try to be more than what actualy is, a great bad movie. Even the actors seem to be having fun in this ! Or maybe they´re just desperated to get out of it. :-)

But it works, and it works great.

It´s fun to watch, it has a good 30´s classical plot for space opera story, it is very atmospheric and the soundtrack is beautiful.

Even the sound effects are cool, with very strange eletronic blips and noises, that reminds me of those 50´s invasion movies sometimes.

I guess there is nothing more i can say.

STARCRASH is one of those movies that you either love or hate with all your guts !

I love it.

Just don´t look at this as a serious film, and you´ll have fun for sure watching it. Brilliant stuff !
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Such a guilty pleasure, so much fun, so freaking bad in every conceivable way
siderite2 March 2020
Starcrash is a movie that gets its name from... the very last few minutes of the film, where the name is casually dropped in a conversation, never to be uttered again or its origin explained. The entire plot is Caroline Munro running around in a bathing suit and having completely inappropriate facial expressions. The rest is chaos: a villain taken straight from children's stories, a benevolent emperor played by Christopher Plummer and his son: David Hasselhoff, a mysterious companion who is basically the Deus ex Machina needed to resolve some scenes and a robot with an American South accent that gleefully declares his chauvinism, regardless of him not having a nation or a gender. The acting is so bad it's hilarious, the effects are so special that psychiatric wards come to mind. All in all, ridiculous at all levels.

Some people say it is a ripoff of Star Wars, but I don't see it. There is no story to talk of. The only commonality seems to be a lightsaber that ... just is, with no explanation. I would like to say that Caroline is so sexy that watching the movie is worth it, but really, if you are not drunk out of your mind you can't possibly enjoy this film at its true potential. Just saying.
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Good fun film!
thecat7220 November 2000
If you are a "serious" sci-fi lover, you'll hate this movie. But if you don't mind a light-hearted funny romp full of crazy situations and pretty wild FX, "Starcrash" will definitely make your day!

Sure, some stuff is REALLY silly, like the cowboy droid and some of the script ("what's your problem, ship's computer?"). But the film is FUN. The awesome Caroline Munroe stars, as well as a bevy of other beauties. Even David Hasselhoff gets into the act. There's a bunch of fun-as-hell FX sequences like the space fight at the end, a very cool laser battle on the villian's spaceship (which the good guys infiltrate by blasting through the walls in fake torpedos!) and even some "lightsaber" action where Marjoe Gortner battles two stop-motion robots. There are a LOT of cool FX and visuals, especially for the low budget. If fun is your main concern, you can't go wrong with this one.
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Munro + Leather Bikini = Worth Watching
Michael_Elliott4 August 2012
Starcrash (1978)

** (out of 4)

Stella Star (Caroline Munro) is asked by The Emperor (Christopher Plummer) to set out and locate his missing son (David Hasselhoff) and along the way she must battle countless robots and other space creatures. This Italian-American co-production was clearly influenced by STAR WARS and I think fans of that film are probably going to hate this simply because it is a rip-off. Those who enjoy silly, campy and over-the-top science fiction will probably get a few kicks out of this thing while people like myself, not crazy over the genre, will probably get a few laughs and of course be thrilled by Munro. STARCRASH is an ultra-cheap movie but I think the cheapness actually works in its favor because you just can't take any of it too serious and this is something that kills a lot of "B" movies. A lot of time "B" movies take themselves so serious that the director never allows the viewer to just sit back and have a good time but director Luigi Cozzi makes sure you don't take anything too serious. I really liked the happy tone that runs throughout the movie and it's clear that they weren't trying to scare, shock or go for crazy action scenes but instead they just delivered a campy story. The special effects really aren't as bad as you'd expect in such a low-budget film. A major plus is the cast, which includes the beautiful Munro. While her acting might not be the greatest she at least fits the role perfectly and there's no doubt that her charm really helps keep the film moving. The highlight of the film would have to be that leather bikini thing she's dressed in for the majority of the running time. Plummer picks up a paycheck appearing in his brief part and the young Hasselhoff is pretty funny in his bit. Hamilton Camp deserves mention for his Southern voice of the robot and we get Joe Spinell as the bad guy. It's interesting to note that Spinell and Munro would go onto appear in MANIAC just two years later. STARCRASH isn't a masterpiece and it's not even a good movie but fans of camp should at least be entertained by it.
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Miss Munro Looks Great
boblipton2 September 2020
Less than a years after STAR WARS came out, Caroline Munro starred in this Italian mishmosh about evil Count Joe Spinell -- who really knows how to handle a cape -- threats the benevolent empire run by slow-talking Christopher Plummer. Only Miss Munro, David Hasselhoff, Marjoe Gortner and a robot voiced by what seems to be Wilford Brimley stand in his way.

With echoes of BARARELLA -- Miss Munro's vinyl swimsuit grows more revealing every time they go through hyperspace -- this looks to be a triumph of set design and metal spray paint. People develop powers and abilities just when they are needed with no presaging, not even random mumbling about the Force. In short, this looks a lot like a Lego movie with no sense of humor.
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Awful... but Fun?
gavin69423 July 2017
An outlaw smuggler and her alien companion are recruited by the Emperor of the Galaxy to rescue his son and destroy a secret weapon by the evil Count Zarth Arn.

This is one of those films you watch and wonder how it ever got made. Some decent casting, including Christopher Plummer, makes you expect something a little bit better than you get. In fact, this is a lesser film than similar themes that AIP was doing at the same time.

Although it is interesting, and sort of enjoyable in a so-bad-it's-good kind of way, it never really rises above a strange curiosity. The appeal is quite limited, maybe something that fans of Italian B-movies would eat up. I don't know. The movie is as mysterious as the lead character's wardrobe choices.
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Way better than Star Wars
werewolffromplanetx15 January 2020
Although obviously influenced by Star Wars, this movie is actually more enjoyable, in my view. So many bizarre decisions, from the casting of David Hasselhoff, to the robot with a thick southern accent, to the hand shaped spaceship, to the giant stop-motion anatomically correct female robot. This may be one of the greatest movies of all time.
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some terrifically awful special effects and Joe Spinnell in a giant cape and goatee. nuff said?
Quinoa198423 April 2017
(MST3K'd) Let's first look at Caroline Munro (and sure if you want to look at her like *that*, have at it, but I mean something different) - she happens to be in what can be said to be a half-naked outfit (with knee-high boots of course), and she wears it with confidence as she "acts" (by this I mean she does a great job of reciting her lines in an expertly, even adorably wooden way if that makes sense), though it is also... not leaving much to the imagination. The curious thing is that halfway through the movie - and this is a piece of trivia about it that I confirmed by that reliable fountain of information, IMDb - she stops wearing the skimpy, awesome "B-movie" Barbarella ripoff suit because the producers didn't think they could keep up the PG rating for the kids to watch this.

And of course one can understand: 45 minutes of magnificent and gratuitous cleavage is just fine... 90 minutes, it's pushing it, you know? Starcrash is lovably horrible, a shameless knock-off of Star Wars even compared to *other* shameless knock-offs of Star Wars that would come out like Battle Beyond the Stars. Although, frankly, this might be a little more fun than that due to how terrifically s****y the special effects are here. If you happen to watch this (and you can't not now that it's got the MST3K revival treatment), you may get a better understanding why George Lucas was so nervous about having a decent enough budget for his space epic: Starcrash is what would've happened had Fox had a firmer hand and torn the money to shreds. It's almost like the matte shots just said 'eff it' and decided to go on strike, and that the simple things like, you know, COLORS somehow got messed up in the washing machine and it all comes out like a lava lamp that hit its head on concrete.

Did I mention this is a knock-off of Star Wars? Oh, actually, it's also a knock-off of Harryhausen and Planet of the Apes and any other given science fiction or fantasy type of movie (it may even rip-off Battlestar Galactica, which is impressive given how that was its *own* knock-off of Star Wars made at the exact same time). You get all the tropes of rival sides fighting over the universe (including Christopher goddamn Plummer as, no BS, the "Emperor of the Universe"), and one actor, Joe Spinnell, playing Count Zarth Arn in full cloak and somehow, miraculously, discovering time travel because he is doing his riff of Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon (which wasn't due out for another two years!) and is glorious. Spinnell may be enough reason to see the movie alone; yes, even with David Hasselhoff, who isn't in the movie quite enough, Spinnell makes up for it as he eats ALL the ham in sight and become it times 11.

I had a blast watching this; the little robots and dude in the corner commenting certainly helped, but this is a laugh riot all on its own. This is the kind of cheese that makes Corman productions from the period look like grand David Lean epics by comparison, with fantastically dated hair-dos, action that doesn't make sense as far as how figures appear in the framing (i.e. when those would-be Planet-Ape characters appear out of nowhere to attack the bullet-head robot with the southern accent!) It's a wonderful pleasure of the almost guilty sort.
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Delightfully awful
ejonconrad25 April 2017
I'm a connoisseur of bad movies, and there aren't many as entertainingly bad as this gem. The bad acting, nonsensical plot, cheap effects, and continuity problems make it worth watching several times.

The two main characters are Han Solo - I mean Akton - and Stella Star (really?). Akton is a lovable rogue played by Marjoe Gortner, whose permed head is recognizable from a string of bit parts in the 70s. At some point, it comes out he has magic powers. That would be a spoiler, except that it's never explained and really has nothing to do with the plot. It's just that the writers were too lazy to think of other ways to get out of a couple corners they'd painted him into. Stella is primarily eye candy. Even with everything going on, she finds time to change costumes frequently - sometimes in the middle of scenes. Watch for the part where she goes into hyperspace wearing a skimpy costume and comes out of hyperspace wearing an even skimpier costume.

The other two major characters are the good Emperor, played by Christopher Plummer, and the evil Count Zarth Arn, played Joe Spinell, who bracket a spectrum of bad acting styles. Spinell really hams it up, laughing and strutting like William Shatner on a cocaine binge. Plummer goes for serene, confident leadership, but comes across more like someone who's heavily medicated.

There's also a robot Elle, who was put in for comic relief, but the less said about that, the better.

David Hasseloff appears as the Emporer's son. That would also be a spoiler, except that it's obvious to everyone except Akton and Stella.

The script, such as it is, appears to have been written as they went, and the plot drunkenly stumbles from scene to scene. There are some cave men, some karate-chopping Amazons, some evil robots. What do they have to do with anything? Seriously, it's not worth worrying about. Even the characters sometimes appear confused about where they are and what they're doing. The evil Count's evil plan changes a couple of times. He starts out with a super weapon that's definitely not a Death Star. It surrounds ships with lava lamp blobs that are sometimes fatal and sometimes merely annoying. As super weapons go, it's pretty lame. Later he just switches to explosives, which is probably a good move.

When they felt the movie was long enough, they slapped a rather stupid ending on it, had Plummer make a rambling, anesthetized speech, and headed to the wrap party.

Oh yeah, there's also a light saber, but only one, because I guess two is the threshold for copyright infringement.
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A fun serial throwback
sshumsuper7fan788 June 2002
In the same vein as Jason of Star Command and Flesh Gordon, Starcrash is a campy, fun throwback to the old serials of the 30s and 40s. It looks, feels, and tastes like an old serial, minus the chapters. Yep, it is a cheesey attempt to cash in on the great sci-fi craze of the late 70s, fueled by the likes of syndicated Star Trek reruns, Logan's Run, Close Encounters, Space: 1999, and ESPECIALLY Star Wars, of course. It is guilty as charged. That said, it is an absoloute low-budget blast. For detractors, here's your first clue that this film is not to be taken seriously: A robot with a long, southern drawl. L the cowardly robot is a riot!

Starcrash shamelessly pilfers elements from Invaders from Mars (1953) (a brief appearance by an alien judicial judge), Ray Harryhausen films (a couple of model animated aliens & robots), and Star Wars (a lightsaber duel), not to mention the old serials.

The whole thing never stops to catch its breath, and neither does the viewer, overwhelmed by alternately cheesey and surprisingly good special fx and generally porn-level acting and dialogue. One minute Stella and L are battling Amazons, the next L is gunning it out with troglodytes, and the next Akton is having a lightsaber duel with those model-animated robots. There are psychadelic images and scenes, almost worthy of the equally bizarre Barbarella. And along the way are allusions to classic sf authors Edmond Hamilton, Murray Leinster, and Ray Bradbury.

For the b-movie or old time serial lover, or someone who doesn't mind some campy lightweight space opera, Starcrash really can't be topped.
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Great little Fantascienza flick
GiantFish21 August 2006
I bought the Starcrash DVD from director Luigi Cozzi himself, who now manages Dario Argento's Profondo Rosso videostore in Rome. He struck me as very intelligent and polite. He said that Starcrash was fun to make, and that he was quite happy with it. He set out to make a film he would have wanted to see as a kid, a Ray Harryhausen movie set in space. (Caroline Munro was also in Harryhausen's The Golden voyage of Sinbad.) Personally, I think Starcrash is awesome, with a giddy, childish energy that is pretty unique. Of course, neither Munro nor Gortner could have acted their way out of a paper bag, and the physics make no sense. But neither do the physics of Star Wars, Flash Gordon or practically any SF film. BTW, one of the stop-motion robots from the film is on display in the little horror museum in the store's basement.
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